When I wrote about Tricia Romano’s Salon piece, I wasn’t all that hard on her. Sure, she gave her piece a nasty title, trashed an entire class of men and exhibited an outsized sense of entitlement, but as far as I know she’s never actually screwed a guy over personally. I try to save the heavy artillery for those types.
Nevertheless, she was hit pretty hard in comments, and took it very personally. She also objected to being called “middle-aged” and not someone who stands out from the crowd, although both are objectively true, and not really insults. Her retort to me personally was to imply that I am sexually unappealing because I’m a “deadbeat dad” (nice try, Trish, but no cigar — you don’t end up owing child support because you can’t get laid, dummy).
Here are the things I learned about “myself” from some of my commenters:
I am a whore and a slut.
I’m ugly and I look like a Jersey girl. (This is half-true. My family is from Jersey.)
I’m middle-aged (which somehow seems worse than merely being old). And, I “don’t exactly stand out from the crowd.” (This same writer also admitted to being a deadbeat dad. So, you know.)
But even though I’m dumb, ugly, and old, a totally over-the-hill Jersey girl, I’ve managed to get laid so much that my vagina is a loose gash.
I should just buy some sex toys and be done with it.
I probably have a height requirement on my profile. (Dude, I’m four-foot-eleven.)
What she’s really demonstrating here with her butthurt sniffling and pouting is that she can dish it out but she can’t take it. Oh, it’s all well and good when you slam techies, call them unattractive dweebs and blame them for women’s dissatisfaction, but when someone turns it around and takes a shot at Tricia it’s so mean that it’s “trolling.” There oughtta be a law or something…
I’ve taken a lot of shots in life, and some of them took a hell of a toll. I’ll probably never fully recover from some. So now, when I see someone calling me names or insulting me online, it’s really so trivial that it hardly matters. How could it possibly compare to being menaced by men in uniform with assault rifles and legally raped in court? But for these female writers, it’s a horrible violation. Something they cannot bear.
What outdated Victorian nonsense! I thought they were all tough riot grrrls here — especially in Seattle.
So along with my previous bit of advice to Tricia that she stop acting like an adolescent girl, I’ll add something else:
If you don’t want people to attack you personally, don’t personally attack an entire class of people. Because if you do, you’d better be prepared for them to bite back.
If you can’t take the heat, you know…