Going Full Prog With J.F. Sargent Hire

by W.F. Price on June 17, 2014

One of’s editors, a fellow who goes by “J.F. Sargent,” has been making the rounds building a case against men who stand up to gender feminism. He’s been channeling the SPLC, which gives us a good idea of where Sargent is coming from.

Frankly, I think the guy should identify as J.F. Sebastian, who was killed by Roy, Rutger Hauer’s character in Bladerunner, after developing an unfulfilled crush on Pris, Darryl Hannah’s character. Sebastian is an aspergery dweeb with Methuselah syndrome. He invents little toys to keep him company, because he doesn’t have any friends IRL. Hot blonde replicant Pris manipulated him at will, which proved to be his undoing at the hands of the vastly superior and more desirable Roy, who was Pris’s lover.

Given that Sargent is enlisting the SPLC, which is a domestic blacklisting resource with ties to left-wing terrorists like Floyd Corkins, it’s only fair that we keep an eye on Sargent as well. At this point, I don’t think would fire him, but putting some pressure on the guy is probably a good idea.

J.F. Sargent attended Garfield High School in Seattle, as did I, which gives me a little insight into the little fellow. He isn’t originally from Seattle, but thrived in its prog scene for years, and was clearly indoctrinated there. When he went to Garfield in the 2000s, it was a far more elitist institution than it was in the early 90s when I attended the school. He may well know anal rap virtuoso Macklemore, also a Garfield alum, personally.

I’m not sure why Cracked hired this guy, as I know a couple Cracked writers personally, and they are stand-up men. Certainly they don’t buy into his bullshit. But I can only assume that someone in upper management put his (or more likely her) finger to the wind and figured out where the gas was coming from, and ASSumed that America’s men would buy into the garbage little twats like Sargent dump on them.

So if you’re reading this and care to do a little activism, why not write and ask why they are alienating one of their most important demographics by hiring a little partisan bloodsucker like Sargent. Do we really want to read his missives on “misogyny” and “white male entitlement?” It’s like listening to a toddler tell you off for not cutting the crust off his bread and filling his baba with apple juice, and that isn’t funny. It’s annoying as hell.

Write Cracked here to tell them what you think of Sargent. I’m sure the feminists love him, but feminists are about as funny as a cancer diagnosis, so they hardly count. If Cracked wants to go full feminist, I invite them to do so. The site has already cast the first stone, so it’s fair game at this point. Frankly, I invite them to ridicule us even more.

When men have their children taken away and are reduced to poverty, it’s so god-damned funny after all, right?

We’ll see.

{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Aethelfrith June 17, 2014 at 18:14

I haven’t read Cracked in years, but the precedent for shrill PC is there. I’m thinking mainly of David Wong, one of the whiniest “men” alive.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 26 Thumb down 1
Walhaz June 17, 2014 at 19:13

Meh, I’m not a big fan of “” – even though I fit into the age demo they appeal to.

The few “articles” from Cracked that I’ve read always seemed borderline progressive, and so do the reader comments. If they go down the flaming progressive highway, it would be no big loss IMO.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1
TroperA June 17, 2014 at 21:45

J.F. Sargeant’s latest anal squeezing:
“5 ‘Deviant’ Sex Acts That Science Says Are Good For You”

He praises polyamory and casual sex, (which , as I come to understand it, are kryptonite to long term relationships, but what do I know? ) I think Cracked should stop being coy and just hire Dan Savage already. (He isn’t very funny, but neither are 50 percent of their existing staff, so there.)

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 1
Brian June 17, 2014 at 23:17

“When men have their children taken away and are reduced to poverty, it’s so god-damned funny after all, right? ”

-W.F. Price

A lot of people seriously thought it was funny when Catherine Kieu cut off her then husband’s penis and tossed it in a garbage disposal in an attempt to prevent reattachment. I have no trouble believing people will eventually also find it humorous when men lose their children and are forced to suffer a ruined life as to be nearly worse than a death sentence.

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CrackedSucks June 17, 2014 at 23:53

It’s been a long time since cracked was funny. It’s full blown feminist now and sucks as a result. Feminists know nothing about humor.

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cxj June 18, 2014 at 00:05

Hmmm lets take a look at his link here…

Does this faggot write anything other than god awful list articles? Maddox wrote a good article a while back critiquing the ubiquity and unoriginality of list articles… does Cracked even do anything else?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 1
Josh Johnson June 18, 2014 at 05:12

The website doesn’t hold a candle to the old magazine.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
Jeremy June 18, 2014 at 07:51

When comics get political, they forget their craft. When they forget their craft, they’re no longer funny. When they’re no longer funny, they lose customers.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 2
cxj June 18, 2014 at 12:30

Actually to give him credit his article on why the video game industry is in trouble was pretty good, but even then he couldn’t resist whining about the male gaze “problem” in video games, and even in starcraft s story with a highly dominant female character. The butthurt is strong with this one!

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1
Szebran June 18, 2014 at 13:10 is a sexist website. They hate the idea of men having rights’s and they arent afraid to tell you this. Its another feminist lapdog site.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 2
Anonymous June 18, 2014 at 16:43

Cracked should go back to competing with Alfred E. Newman and not with Dan Savage…

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1
Drexel Scott June 28, 2014 at 22:05

Hey guys, I read your article about Cracked and J.F. Sargent. I have also noticed how much feminist nonsense its latest articles have contained, and have commented about it several times on their website. Your article spurred me to action, so I sent the following email to the address you had listed:

“I used to dream of writing for Cracked, and spent many months in the Workshop trying to get articles through a couple years ago. Though I didn’t have any published, I continued to read and love Cracked. Sometime in the last couple years, authors like J.F. Sargent have been either allowed or encouraged to right continuous diatribes that are pro-feminist, anti-white and anti-male. It is not only offensive, but most importantly, not even remotely funny. It’s honestly like reading Jezebel sometimes. Because of the way my race and sex have been treated on Cracked lately, I will no longer be reading any articles or spreading them on social media. If you would like a large portion of your audience back, get rid of Sargent and apologize to the white men who have been constantly mocked and belittled on this site lately. ”

A fair enough email, in my opinion. I could have been a lot meaner. Here was the response from Jason Pargin, who apparently represents Cracked’s customer service department:

“Yes we will miss having your white supremacist/misogynist articles on the site, what a loss.”

Besides not making any sense, this is one of the most unprofessional responses I’ve ever gotten to an inquiry. In response, I called him a jackass and let him know I’d be passing on his name, Jason Pargin, as the representative for Cracked’s customer service department.

One must imagine they chose him carefully, seeing as how the things he says represent the organization as a whole. I hope Cracked was infiltrated from the outside, instead of willing throwing itself at the collective clitoris of feminists everywhere.

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Haw Haw Man July 19, 2014 at 15:13

Cracked is for faggots.
Every time they have one of their “5 ways everything is getting better” bullshit articles, they ALWAYS praise the fags and their disgusting ways.
Hell, they do that in EVERY article I’m sure.
And in EVERY comment section there are the resident cracked fags circle-jerking and cackling.
They will reap what they sow!

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Darren Cook August 31, 2014 at 08:32

Drexel: Jason Pargin is David Wong’s real name. The response you got came from the editor in chief of the website himself, so I doubt your complaint was listened to by anyone important.

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