Dr.Φ at the blog Delenda Est Cathargo has had a front-row seat to the military’s latest effort to make the armed services safe for military women…from military men. He has three posts up thus far on this topic, entitled “War On Nerds: SAPR Edition“, “SAPR Day Scenarios“, and “People vs Values”, with likely more to follow.
Reading these posts, and seeing the aggressive feminist and rape-culture-hysteria and frankly misandrist slant to the materials presently being force-fed to military men and women in mandatory propaganda femeducation commander’s calls, perhaps it is both timely and wise for more senior military men, perhaps commanders, but certainly supervisors and peers, to do what women leaders in times past did for the female subordinates in their charge: warn them about entanglements with the opposite sex–for their own safety.
As one in the military, you are to be strong. A warrior. As a man, you are widely thought to want sex, any sex, at any time, and are grateful for it whenever it happens. These two factors combined mean you will not be believed if you yourself report being sexually assaulted or sexually coerced by a woman. You want it by nature, she doesn’t. A woman who accuses you of the same, will be.
Moreover, the culture still assumes that men are the aggressors in sexual relationships, and that women are passive. You will not be believed if you yourself report being sexually assaulted or sexually coerced by a woman, despite recent research that shows near parity in which sex perpetrates sexual assault. A woman who accuses you of the same, will be.
Further, it is men who are uniquely held accountable for sex when alcohol is involved, no matter how much or how little either party has been drinking. As little as one drop of alcohol invalidates female agency. You will not be believed if you claim that you had consent. A woman who accuses you of taking advantage of her inebriated state, on the other hand, will be. The simple fact of the matter is that, as far as the SAPR office and Victim Advocates (note the slanted term victim, not the more neutral and legally correct accuser) is concerned, sexual assault is something that men do to women, men do to other men, rarely women assault other women, and women never assault men. Offenders (note again the slanted language) must be stamped out. The default position is to believe the accuser victim. This cannon is pointed at you, not-so-fortunate son. Innocence is no longer presumed.
But fear not, there are many steps you may take to minimize your risk and protect yourself, and it’s not blaming the victim to pass them along to you:
1) Limit interactions, be they over the phone, via email, and especially face-to-face, to official business only. In general, it is advisable to avoid interactions with women in the military for numerous reasons (i.e., false sexual harassment charges, false charges of fraternization, etc), but in this case, it is to reduce your risk of a career-ending FRA. If you must interact with them, do so in a public area with witnesses. Avoid situations where you may be alone behind closed doors with a military woman without a wingman as witness.
2) Speaking of wingman, have one whenever going out or when you may be faced by mixed-sex situations. This brother is your witness and can vouch for your upright behavior.
3) Don’t fraternize with lower-ranking military women. Not only is this a UCMJ issue, but it is also wise counsel anyway. Lower-ranking military women are less mature and more likely to be star-struck by your greater maturity and higher socio-sexual status than either her or her peers. You will also be more likely to be seen as the aggressor if they levy an accusation. Keep it professional, and stay safe.
4) Avoid mixed-sex situations and alcohol. The vast, vast majority of military sexual assault cases involve alcohol. When the booze comes out, and there are females about, that’s you cue to leave. Male-only company is your friend.
5) Be upright in your behavior. The vast, vast majority of military sexual assault cases involved extra-marital sex in addition to alcohol. This means don’t be a player (sorry cads). The fact of the matter is that one’s risk of being hit with a sexual assault allegation is a lot lower if you keep your fly zipped.
6) If you find avoiding extramarital sex too difficult or too Christian / Jewish a value to uphold, then record your encounters. It may initially seem Rob Lowe-level creepy, but it has saved at least one man, and likely untold more, from being convicted of rape on the basis of a malicious FRA. Video is best.
These steps may be small, but will do much to mitigate your risk of being caught on the wrong side of an accusation of sexual misconduct. Remember that the system is looking to isolate and prosecute “offenders”, that women who bring sexual assault allegations are to be believed, false accusations will not be prosecuted or punished, and that you will be counting on the justice system to protect your assumed-innocent status. The process is as much the punishment as any conviction would be. Stay away, stay safe, and stay frosty.
About the author: EW is a well-trained monkey operating heavier-than-air machinery. His interests outside of being an opinionated rabble-rouser are hunting, working out, motorcycling, spending time with his family, and flying. He is a father to four, a husband to one, and is a sometime contributor here at Spearhead. More of his intolerable drivel is available at the blog The Elusive Wapiti.