Prediction: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be Next Anti-Death Penalty Poster Boy

by W.F. Price on January 30, 2014

The feds have announced their intent to execute Dzokhar Tsarnaev for his role in the Islamic terror bombing of the Boston Marathon. As you may remember, in the aftermath of the attack, Dzhokhar became an object of romantic attention for a shocking number of young women and girls, some of whom even set up blogs demanding his release (into their open arms, presumably). The combination of Dzhokhar’s dreamy boy-band looks with his blood-soaked infamy was apparently irresistible to throngs of nubile female admirers.

Now that he’s facing a death sentence on conviction (the feds never lose), I predict that he will immediately become one of the foremost objects of sympathy and tender love in the United States. I wonder whether the Bureau of Prisons has already developed a protocol for dealing with the tons of love letters he’s sure to receive. Now that I mention it, I bet they have.

We are prone to generalizing women as slaves to fashion and popular opinion, but when lust comes into the equation even women are willing to throw off the shackles of propriety. There will be women who, despite widespread disapproval and condemnation, will throw every effort their little souls can muster into attempts to join with the dark young prince of their dreams. Thus, on the path to his demise, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev will be accompanied by a procession of wailing, protesting women, defending their true love to his last breath.

{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }

Peter Kilbridge January 30, 2014 at 13:28

Maybe the girls should win this one. There are many anomalies surrounding this case; perhaps the greatest being that the FBI had interviewed Tamerlan long before the bombing and let him go (after he had returned from training in Dagestan). Did they have Tamerlan under surveillance? If not, why not? The Russians had reportedly alerted the Americans about Tamerlan; were these warnings taken seriously? Why was an area of Boston subjected to de facto martial law in violation of the 4th Amendment in house-to-house searches which played no role in the capture of the suspects? Why did the police say Dzhokhar was armed in the boat when he wasn’t? Why is there no video of the Tsarnaev brothers without black backpacks (presumably after they had placed their bombs) but only with backpacks? Why were there police snipers on rooftops in a “training exercise” coincident with the Marathon?
Look for a tightly-controlled political show trial, with Lee Harvey Oswald – I mean, Dzokhar Tsarnaev – conveniently silenced forever.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 23 Thumb down 5
Tam the Bam January 30, 2014 at 13:36

In my day, buggers like that would have been tied across the mouth of a 25-pounder. Bah! Dunno what the world’s coming to .. where’s my gin & it?

Help! I’m not turning into my Dad, I’m turning into my great-great grandad. And loving it.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 15 Thumb down 5
Tam the Bam January 30, 2014 at 13:39

“Thus, on the path to his demise, Dzhokhar Tsarnaev will be accompanied by a procession of wailing, protesting women, defending their true love to his last breath. “
.. and not a virgin amongst any set of 72 of them, I guarantee. Hah!

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 30 Thumb down 1
Human-Stupidity.com January 30, 2014 at 14:05

Black thugs and female assassins and murderers usually get more support and motions for their impunity.

Dzokhar Tsarnaev is loved for being a killer, not for finding excuses for his behavior.

Women who want to marry convicted killers also are a small minority.

That is just my intuitive opinion, but I might be wrong. I have difficulties understanding these apologists of criminals.

Can you send me an email about donations?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 4
geographybeefinalisthimself January 30, 2014 at 14:06

Given that Massachusetts does not have a state-level death penalty, are the liberals there opposed to his execution? I would be very surprised if a public opinion poll from that state showed majority support for him being put to death.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 0
chinesefootsoldier January 30, 2014 at 15:24

And no doubt buttressed by every spurious claim of racism, Islamophobia, etc. they could muster.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
DCM January 30, 2014 at 16:10

Why would leftists care? He’s white.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 0
annette January 30, 2014 at 16:51

where have you already been i for one was writing him everyday until the almight eric holder put him on sams and now he can’t receive any letters from the outside…how convenient…i would take my last breath if it would get him released..poor dzhokhar didn’t do this it was all a set up they already tried to kill him in the boat but thats right he had a gun…oops no he didn’t well wait we will put him at devens in solitary wait no letters from anyone and he can’t write any don’t you see there just trying to cut him off from speaking the truth

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 5
Dave January 30, 2014 at 17:26

My eight-year-old daughter has a crush on Dzhokhar.

Notice how many women are pining for big brother Tamerlan? Zero. It’s female instinct. Out in the lawless jungle, any man who kills people and doesn’t die is one badass mofo and an excellent choice for mating. When Dzhokhar dies, the spell will be broken and nubile women will quickly forget about him.

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Bob Wallace January 30, 2014 at 17:53

They were both wimps and cowards who murdered children. May they rot in hell. I’d pull the switch on them myself.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 9
Days of Broken Arrows January 30, 2014 at 18:34

As I’ve written before, the most insightful line about women’s nature in any Beatles song was slipped into one of their non-love songs, “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer.”

“Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery say he must go free/
The judge does not agree and he tells them so…”

Expect lots of Roses and Valeries for this modern-day Maxwell.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0
Tam the Bam January 30, 2014 at 20:11

“Why would leftists care? He’s white”
You are surely jesting? Or do you mean “fairly white, for an American”?
It’s like when people were monging on about “inter-racial strife”, or some such abstruse BS, in regard of those Kardashian sisters and their current squeezes, seems the fat lasses are what passes for “white” in the US. Well fuck me gently. but just .. not?
Not being all rayshul and snotty, by the way, black/white, couldn’t give toss. But categories must have some kind of boundaries. Or just forget it (my preference).
Curiously, the K-sistas and Joker Tsarnaeff are as alike as peas in a pod to my jaundiced eyes. Must be a Caucasian/Kura-Araxes sorta thang.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2
Tulsa Quake January 30, 2014 at 20:38

@Tam the Bam,

He was “caucasian” when the left wanted to claim a white guy committed a terrorist act. All the Dems I knew were braying about how it “had to be a white guy”, before we found out who did it. They really wanted to use that one for domestic political purposes. Fairly licking their lips. Crazy; nobody but one of theirs would do a thing like that.

But now that he’s in jail, different situation. Tempers have cooled, and face it, he’s a nonwhite Muslim. So to the left, he’s gotta be the victim now.

But for a while, the official reality was he was white.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 2
George Vinanzi Jr. January 30, 2014 at 20:45

Even my girlfriend said “Oh he’s too cute to have done that.” I’m going to guess that he will be heavily sedated and won’t be able to defend himself, if it even makes it to trial. The fact that there’s proof that actors and fake blood were used at the finish line scene is enough to determine this was a false flag anyway. Before you yell stupid conspiracy theorist, I’d ask you to do your research.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 4
GT66 January 30, 2014 at 20:57

The death penalty is too expensive to carry out and takes far too long to even provide that satisfaction that comes from taking an eye for an eye. IMO, a better punishment for murderers and terrorists would be to give them a paper hat and make them work retail fast food. No one ever achieves martyr status while scraping the fryer traps and after a few years of dealing with the consumer public, they’ll willingly run out in front of a bus or hang themselves with their work aprons. Problem solved.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 1
etype January 30, 2014 at 22:14

I’m disappointed that with all the extremely questionable aspects of this case – ‘live local news footage of the elder brother surrendering, disrobing and lying down in the middle of a road while surrounded by hundreds of armed police… etc. etc. later somehow showing up on a slab mutilated and holed with multiple gunshot wounds… inflicted while resisting arrest (?!)’
People here still are satisfied to call for the younger brothers immediate execution because it’s more convenient than finding out what really happened.
I think one of the central yet ignored problems of dealing with the myriad of problems we face today… is the persistent shadow of the idea that so much of it is deserved.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 2
Xtard January 31, 2014 at 02:54

But when are the other mass murderers we also know of going to face their own death penalties eh ?

Why should death penalty apply to some murderers but not to others depending on how every one else feels ?

I also want to see many more death penalties, but not just only of a selected few.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 3
Vektor January 31, 2014 at 10:20

The feds should set him up with a couple of conjugal visits with Jodi Arias. Just before the last visit, tell her that he’s said he wants to break up with her. Bust in just after she has finished decapitating him and blow her ass away.

2 birds, 1 stone. Plus points for style.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
paulb January 31, 2014 at 14:54

This is asinine, but to the conspiracy theorists, I ask which makes more sense:
1) a perfectly-executed, flawlessly planned and directed conspiracy involving several thousand members of the public (some of whom were horrifically mutilated), or
2). a complete fustercluck on all sides, as emphasized by media coverage that constantly interpreted and misreported inuendo and rumor as fact in a competition for ratings.

As to the little shit who wanted martyrdom, I say we grant his request if he’s found guilty. Perhaps we can ensure that his fans get a seat in the viewing room as a twofer: let them see the endgame that comes of being attracted to someone who is stupid enough to actually volunteer to meet his maker.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 4
Boomer January 31, 2014 at 15:02

@Bam Bam
But categories must have some kind of boundaries

Groups, or races, are broad categories and since he obviously doesn’t fit into the Negro or Mongol group he’s a Caucasian. Or would you prefer that we break down the world into a gazillion races lol If we used your definition of White we’d have the Caucasian race consisting of a clan of freckle faced ginger Jocks and a dozen people living in Iceland.
The Kardashians are Armenian.

Gin and It? What are you, like 80? Time for a modern drink, Port and lemonade :o )

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 3
Alogon January 31, 2014 at 15:14

@George Vinanzi
Even your girlfriend, huh? Well in that case, if a legal genius like that, “he’s too cute to have done that”, thinks so then no need for a trial, he must be innocent.
What other gems of jurisprudence have fallen out of her truth hole besides the doctrine of innocent until proven unattractive?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
Tam the Bam January 31, 2014 at 16:03

I meant Caucasian as in “from the actual Caucasus”. And that’s why I threw in the Kura-Araxes thing, as that seems to have been the baseline for the current population mix in that region (less the Turks). Joker is a Caucasian, and so are the K-sistas, it turns out, in a way I simply am not. Caucasian=/=white, but can do, particularly at the Russian end of things, less so at the Middle Eastern end. White people are, well, whitish, Black people, blackish, etc. See how that works.

I don’t hold with the big supercategories of “racial type”, every people on earth apart from a few remote inbred savages is a multi-vector mashup of (mainly) their nearest neighbors, and yes, there are observable clines within the stew, depending on the (pre-)historical demographic success of one or other of the founder populations. The mix is also in a constant state of flux, unobservable on the scale of a human lifetime or three. (It’s very slow now, due to the huge numbers involved, and the elimination, for all practical purposes, of environmental culling via selective sweeps).

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 2
E January 31, 2014 at 19:25

paulb

This is asinine…

This much we agree on.

but to the conspiracy theorists, I ask which makes more sense:
1) a perfectly-executed, flawlessly planned and directed conspiracy involving several thousand members of the public (some of whom were horrifically mutilated), or
2). a complete fustercluck on all sides, as emphasized by media coverage that constantly interpreted and misreported inuendo and rumor as fact in a competition for ratings.

False choice, you OS’ers always claim thousands of people are needed for the OS to be a inside job…yet you don’t give a logical reason why.

BTW, misreported innuendo does not explain the fact the FBI lied about knowing who the brothers are…and every other OS lie.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
crella January 31, 2014 at 23:49

“The fact that there’s proof that actors and fake blood were used at the finish line scene is enough to determine this was a false flag anyway. ”

Oh, please….I know some of the people who had their legs blown off…and they still have no legs.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 4
EasyPeasey99 February 1, 2014 at 05:39

Will Amanda Knox get favorable treatment? Both these people are just pawns in the game of life:

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
E February 1, 2014 at 09:55

George Vinanzi

The fact that there’s proof that actors and fake blood were used at the finish line scene is enough to determine this was a false flag anyway.

crella

Oh, please….I know some of the people who had their legs blown off…and they still have no legs.

It isn’t zero sum, fake blood does not mean that it was all fake. Real blown off legs does not mean the OS is true.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
crella February 1, 2014 at 15:25

Why bother? People getting their legs blown off is bad enough, as is a child dying at the scene, why throw fake blood around? It’s well enough bad as it is.

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Norm February 1, 2014 at 20:32

What about the moslem Ft. Hood shooter?!?! Why is he still getting paid? Bill Clinton disarmed the military bases. He is only alive because the USA has a naked Moslem\Communist in the White House.

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Gilgamesh February 2, 2014 at 20:10

“Even my girlfriend said “Oh he’s too cute to have done that.” I’m going to guess that he will be heavily sedated and won’t be able to defend himself, if it even makes it to trial. The fact that there’s proof that actors and fake blood were used at the finish line scene is enough to determine this was a false flag anyway. Before you yell stupid conspiracy theorist, I’d ask you to do your research.”

Ok, clemency for Dzhokar and the death penalty for his groupies.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
Eliezer Ben-Yehuda February 3, 2014 at 06:19

the public has only ever seen the “before” pictures. My understanding is he was badly shot up during the chase – lost his tongue, cannot talk.

When the pictures of his “now” appearance hit the media, the vaginas will lose their tingle.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
Peter Kilbridge February 12, 2014 at 15:55

This from one Mark Ames at https://www.nsfwcorp.com/dispatch/didnt-contribute/227800e585e8f2aca718686d4ec45c2d7129d3cf/

‘For now, I want to start with one of the biggest “What The Fuck?!” in the bombing story, a detail so far completely overlooked: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev’s high school project “mentor”, Brian Glyn Williams. Brian Glyn Williams happens to work for the CIA, on Islamic suicide bombers, Chechnya, and jihadi terrorism. Williams is also an associate professor of history at the University of Massachusetts-Dartmouth, the university where 19-year-old Dzhokhar Tsarnaev was enrolled, and where he spent many of his last free hours between the Boston Marathon bombing on April 15, and his arrest on April 19.’

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