Most Noncustodial Parents are “Deadbeats”

by W.F. Price on January 9, 2014

Sometimes it feels like beating a dead horse when I write about child support, but whenever I see the typical discussions of the matter in the media and even online, I’m reminded why it’s necessary.

Condemnations of so-called deadbeats remain standard, infantile clichés such as “you’ve got to pay to play” and an enormous amount of denial are the norm, and few people dare reveal any sympathy for the debtor. Even worse, many men who pay child support do their best to distance themselves from those who can’t afford the full amount, suggesting that only the scum of the earth owe any child support.

Well, if that’s the case, most noncustodial parents – including most noncustodial mothers – are the scum of the earth. Almost three out of five, in fact. Being in arrears on child support is not the exception; it is the norm. Almost 30% of custodial parents receive nothing at all, and the average amount of child support paid is 61% of the bill.

From a 2011 US Census report:

In 2009, 41.2 percent of custodial parents received the full amount of child support owed them, down from 46.8 percent in 2007, according to a report released today by the U.S. Census Bureau. The proportion of these parents who were owed child support payments and who received any amount at all — either full or partial — declined from 76.3 percent to 70.8 percent over the period.

All in all, $35.1 billion in child support was owed in 2009 and 61 percent of that total was received.

The report, Custodial Mothers and Fathers and Their Child Support: 2009 [PDF], focuses on the child support income that the nation’s 13.7 million custodial parents reported receiving from noncustodial parents living elsewhere and other types of support, such as health insurance and noncash assistance. These custodial parents had custody of 22.0 million children under age 21 while the other parent lived somewhere else. Most custodial parents (82.2 percent) were mothers.

The data come from the Child Support Supplement to the April 2010 Current Population Survey. This supplement is sponsored, in part, by the Office of Child Support Enforcement of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

The main reason I’m open about child support issues and my own struggles with the system is because I know enough to realize that I’m not alone. In fact, as far as noncustodial parents go, I’m not in terrible shape. However, I think there’s an enormous amount of ignorance out there. There’s also a problem with shame. How many men have you ever heard admit “I’m in arrears?” Probably not many, but if you know a noncustodial father, he probably is!

Now consider that most black fathers are noncustodial fathers. Black men, because of a lower average income, are almost certainly overrepresented among those in arrears. Instead of 60% of them, it’s probably closer to 70-75%. I’d be willing to bet that half or more of all black fathers – not just noncustodial fathers – are technically “deadbeat dads”. While this may confirm the prejudices of some, it’s actually an enormous injustice, because in most cases these men never had any choice in the matter — I’m sure they would prefer living with their kids to paying babymomma or the state.

For noncustodial white fathers, the number is probably about 50% and rising, so don’t think you’re exempt if you aren’t black. Slaves come in all colors today.

I’d like to ask people who defend the status quo why they think a system that makes most noncustodial parents deadbeats is fair, especially considering that most young women are having children out of wedlock today. Given the civil disabilities imposed on parents who are in arrears, which includes automatic wage garnishment, seizure of tax refunds, non-issuance of passports, arbitrary seizure of bank accounts, license suspension and sometimes incarceration, is it a good idea to make an increasing proportion of the working American male population third class citizens? Is it a good idea to do this selectively to those who have children?

Now consider the future consequences of this policy if there is no change. Families are not becoming more functional, two-parent households are less the norm every year, and wages are stagnant, especially for young men. This looks bad enough already, but add in tens of millions of men with permanent, nondischargeable debt, and you’re creating a very unstable situation. A situation where one might persuasively argue that violence is a rational solution, and have lots of people listen and agree.

Is this really where our policymakers and elites want to go? Unfortunately, that’s what it looks like, and that’s one reason I’m keeping an option to leave this country open.

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

continent January 9, 2014 at 11:28

Military and oral sex. No child suport, but possible crimiinal trial,
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/anne-arundel/annapolis/bs-md-ar-academy-assault-20140109,0,3004018.story

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continent January 9, 2014 at 11:32

Addendum to post. Alleged victim;s evidence
The alleged victim testified during the Article 32 hearing that she had only foggy memories of the night, but learned later through classmates and social media that she may have had sexual contact with classmates.

Read more: http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/anne-arundel/annapolis/bs-md-ar-academy-assault-20140109,0,3004018.story#ixzz2pvnv0Lgu

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Dan the man January 9, 2014 at 13:09

The black criminal underclass, which is about half of black people, operate, and are treated differently, than the rest of us. A lot do not want to raise their chilren, leaving this to the baby momas. At least here in Texas, little effort is made to track down, and find, or jail them.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 20
Poiuyt January 9, 2014 at 13:37

Welmer, a 100% fully paid up rate on all child support by 100% of obligors, male parent and female parent, still leaves the whole system itself deep in the red and non-self sustaining! The systems real objective is mass system employment by a duped and bullied proletariat and not mass child welfare.

This child support enforcement edifice is a manufactured smoke and mirrors sham created to justify socialist state taxation, socialist state borrowing, socialist state money printing and socialist state coercion of everyone. These systematic impositions necessarily includes permanent injury and control over those owing no child support and having no children.

Socialist states need to eternally expand to exist. Dead beats are merely necessary scape goats amongst other scape goats like wife beaters, tax dodgers, home schoolers etc. that socialist systems use to divert mass attention and run mass interference.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 2
geographybeefinalisthimself January 9, 2014 at 14:31

“A situation where one might persuasively argue that violence is a rational solution, and have lots of people listen and agree.

Is this really where our policymakers and elites want to go? Unfortunately, that’s what it looks like, and that’s one reason I’m keeping an option to leave this country open.”

To answer your question, yes, this is exactly where our policymakers and elites want to go, and no, I am not even being sarcastic here. When have policymakers and elites in this country ever wanted a problem to not fester out of control?

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Anonymous Reader January 9, 2014 at 14:48

When men are put into a corner where no matter what they do, they will perish one way or another, desperation is a logical result. Desperate men will do almost anything to try to get out of a bad situation.

Our self-appointed “elites” increasingly seem to be only interested in themselves and their perks. They talk about “America” but only line their pockets. Increasingly they resemble the aristocracy of France in the late 18th century.

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Gilgamesh January 9, 2014 at 14:51

“you’ve got to pay to play” is such bullshit when women can just kill babies and get praised for it. Just think. I’m only here because my feminist mother decided I didn’t inconvenience her. Women act like we owe a debt to them even though they only let us live for their benefit in the first place.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 1
Dan the man January 9, 2014 at 16:20

@Poiuyt Make no mistake, I agree with you on this. The socialist and police state is the goal. IT is not, nor can be sustaining.

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Dire Badger January 9, 2014 at 17:06

@Poiuyt-
That applies not just to child support enforcement, but to ‘green’ industry, the FCC, the federal transport system, divorce courts, the FDA, and, in fact, the IRS itself… and now they have just introduced obamacare (the new version of this old program) and the US postal service is rapidly becoming this way. There is a surprisingly large amount of evidence to support the concept that the IRS does not actually bring in as much in taxes as it spends in prosecution, employment, updating, investigation, preparing studies, campaigning, and throwing expensive parties.

“A situation where one might persuasively argue that violence is a rational solution, and have lots of people listen and agree.”
I have been trying to explain that for about four years. A cowed populace is exactly what is needed to implement the next step in dominion.

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Jensen January 9, 2014 at 19:20

Make women prepay. Want a kid?! Gift me $750K up front. You are a strong, independent woman, and can do anything you put your heart to!

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BC Dad January 10, 2014 at 01:57

Oddly enough, non-socialist states need to eternally expand as well. (http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-01-08/guest-post-pimping-empire-conservative-style}

No man forced into fatherhood or deprived of his kids without cause should pay, anything, ever.

Reality is that a state which takes kids away from their dads for no reason needs to be destroyed in one fashion or another.

Non-violent resistance might offer the highest chance of success in that endeavor; but on the other hand, if the nooses and guillotines come out, I’ll be there.

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keyster January 10, 2014 at 07:45

The black criminal underclass, which is about half of black people,…

A recent study found that at least half of all black males will serve time in jail before the age of 23 – – some would say because our justice system is racist.

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Vektor January 10, 2014 at 09:45

All alimony and child support should be voluntary. Courts should do nothing but provide recommendations.

Women need INCENTIVE to behave like civil, rational, adult human beings.

Pay to play? Ok, I’m not playing.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 0
Attila January 10, 2014 at 10:39

I can’t blame any man who decides to avenge himself by withholding support and literally disappearing.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 0
Van Zan January 10, 2014 at 13:43

I spent over five years paying 24% of my take home pay in child support where there was no custody agreement. Yes, I was an idiot. Young, but an idiot. I found out during a few months of unemployment that I was obligated to pay the same amount the judge had arbitrarily assigned me, receiving bills to that effect. (Which was coincidentally enough to pay rent every month for my son’s mother’s nice two bedroom apartment in a good neighborhood). When I called to ask about having the amount reduced, especially in light of my work situation, I was told I could fill out the paperwork and have a review done in six months. It was at that moment that I decided I was done paying into the system. No more financial rape, thank you. I’d like to be able to own a home some day, and having a potential mortgage payment carved out of my paycheck every month is incredibly disruptive to my plans.

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TDOM January 10, 2014 at 14:37

Dalrock recently wrote a pretty good article on this and I wrote a response outlining some of the psychology behind it. The state needs every man to produce more than he consumes in order to have a strong economy, but if you take away a man’s family, the man is left with very little incentive to produce more than he consumes. Impute his income and saddle him with child support and alimony, then threaten him with jail and/or loss of licenses and the state effectively provides that incentive. Since no-fault divorce permits frivolous divorce and readily available contraception and abortion encourage sexual freedom and single-motherhood, men (fathers) mut be forced back into being productive for the good of the state. This is why shared custody, reasonable child support, choice for men, and the male pill each represent threats to the state and are opposed by politicians and feminists. Large numbers of men opting out of the system will cause the system to collapse because single mothers cannot both be over-productive and care for their children at the same time.

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TFH January 11, 2014 at 00:01

So why aren’t men organizing a violent revolt already? They don’t have much to lose at this point, and this is THE most unjust law in the US in the last 140 years.

I bet even the state is surprised how far they have been able to push this without a violent revolt…..

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TFH January 11, 2014 at 00:04

Even when the ‘feminists’ and state think they are clever by imputing a man’s wage and effectively taxing him at 80% (proving conclusively that most ‘social conservatives’ are economic leftists at heart)……

Having 10-30% of the male population under an 80% tax rate just does not work. How many entrepreneurial ventures have not been started, and how many innovations have not happened, due to men under this yoke? Why should such a man invent anything at all.

It is not just about seizing his W-2 income, but about all the innovations and entrepreneurship that did not happen….

This is why democracy does not work after 3-4 generations of women voting.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 1
TFH January 11, 2014 at 00:09

Poiuyt,

This child support enforcement edifice is a manufactured smoke and mirrors sham created to justify socialist state taxation, socialist state borrowing, socialist state money printing and socialist state coercion of everyone.

Indeed. Because this is the one type of socialism that ‘conservatives’ not just support, but are quite zealous about….

When bringing up the possibility that child support/alimony is remotely unfair to men, and that men might be disincentivizing from family formation under these laws, the ‘conservative’ immediately becomes indistinguishable from a leftist seeking an 80% tax rate.

The arguments presented, and tactics used, are EXACTLY the same, proving that leftists and ‘conservatives’ both want to tax the same small group of people – productive men – at an 80% rate.

The leftist wants to tax that person due to his income.
The ‘conservative’ wants to tax that person due to his gender.

But either way, the person being taxed is the same person.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1
continent January 11, 2014 at 04:35

U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis should be renamed The Mc Hale Naval Academy due to feminization of military.
According to news accounts 3 midshipman were charged with sexual assaults after the drunken midship person, who now has graduaded and serving in the Navy, learned form her classmates and social media that she may have had sexual contact at off campus party.
Assuming, arguendo, that she eventually is commanding nucleal powered aircrat carrier. After few glasses of whiskey or bourbon on the rocks she runs the ship on rocks at a deserted Gilligan’s Island.
Since the island does not exist, searchers could not locate the ship on a
GPS so the crew and ship may never be found/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Hale,_Jr.

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joeb January 11, 2014 at 09:33

A situation where one might persuasively argue that violence is a rational solution, and have lots of people listen and agree.
You know bill I’m kind of sick of Not saying it . sooner or later someone will say it load , with an extreme act of violence , We will all in are hearts agree . Its Poor John Brown , All over again .
Some times its just hard to hold the Obvious Thought Back . Slavery and debt prison is Evil and must be ,By any means eliminated from society .
We have tried doing it peaceably . So where do we go from here ?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
Ok January 16, 2014 at 15:55

I find this the most interesting/relatable of all MRA demands.
Interestingly, 2 parent households are the norm among college educated women, the higher class you are, the more likely you are to have two parent household. So the issue of deadbeat dads/arrears, must be primarily among the lower classes and lower middle classes
I think we need a couple of things to solve this.
1. Safe male birth control pill. Men ought to push for this in large numbers, so that they have an option other than a condom when they want to avoid pregnancy with women whom them have casual sex.
2. A way to renegotiate the contract. First of all, if you are unemployed, you ought to be let off of paying child support until you are employed. And not accrue any debt in that situation.
3.maybe instead of money, the unemployed dad could pay in more time watching the kids or something of a thing, so that the child receives some kind of affection.
4. Unemployed fathers should be the beneficiaries of programs that seek to employ dads or provide lower cost education to fathers so taht they can be more productive members of society ( not sure if taxpayers would support this)
5. men should be eligible for a “good faith” cancellation on child support. If a guy can argue that he has made a good faith attempt to pay all his child support payments but failed due to economic hardship, he should be discharged from his child support debts
6. Men should not go to jail for not paying child support. It’s counterproductive.
BUT, I want to point out that if men do not pay child support, then the cost of raising out of wedlock kids will fall on the taxpayer ( directly through things like Welfare, or indirectly through increased crime, more suicides/depression, a less safe society and stable society. That is all.

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W.F. Price January 16, 2014 at 17:30

Interestingly, 2 parent households are the norm among college educated women, the higher class you are, the more likely you are to have two parent household. So the issue of deadbeat dads/arrears, must be primarily among the lower classes and lower middle classes

-Ok

Oh, definitely. I’m so impressed by how you first pigeonhole people who are in arrears as “low class” before making making your point. Really, totally classy of you. It’s, like, so sassy and feminist to crap on less fortunate people!

You must be an awesome person. How ’bout let’s do tennis at the club?

Masked Writer January 21, 2014 at 23:57

Child Support Hypocrisy means that the mother never has to account for how the child support payment is spent. If our man-hater family courts really cared about children, it would require the mother to prove she really spends the money on the child. In today’s anti-male culture, a mother can take the child support money and put it all in a Las Vegas slot machine, and no one will punish her for not spending the money on the child. This is allowed because women are the new aristocratic class in our Feminazi country.

Another example of female privilege is that Paternity Fraud Criminals are never prosecuted. A woman can commit paternity fraud and steal hundreds of thousands of dollars in false child support hypocrisy payments from a male victim and never be punished, while many men are jailed for stealing something as small as a loaf of bread.

When will men be free?
Masked Writer

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Belligerent January 24, 2014 at 03:47

@keyster-

It was 49% of black malesby age 23, compared to 40% of white males of the same age. Not a huge disparity there.

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Joseph Goldberg May 23, 2014 at 05:54

…Father’s Day, What Father’s Day ? ……..
How Parental Alienation Effects Father’s Today
……………..By Joseph Goldberg, 2012…………………

I am spoofing the title of this article from a good
friend of mine, Chaim Steinberger. He wrote a very
insightful and brilliant journal article on Parental
Alienation that he called, “ Father, What Father ? “

I decided to write about this holiday because many
father’s will be hurting when it arrives. They won’t
be getting to see their child or receive a call or any
cards or any other acknowledgement because their
children are alienated and that means come Sunday
they’ll be rejected for very unjustified reasons.

For some dad’s who will be waiting to see their kid
because a court order forces them to go, don’t be
to surprised when they don’t show up. If they do
only to tell you they don’t want to be with you, or
worse come over only to say that they hate you,
and don’t ever want to see you again, I am writing
my article just for you.

You know the old saying, “ Silence is deafening. “
Well it’s deafening for a reason, and as another old
saying goes, “ Everything happens for a reason. “

Even though you may not be getting their affection
on Sunday, it doesn’t mean your child isn’t at least
thinking of you, and because they are alienated and
unable to express to you that you’re not forgotten …
and that they do love you, let me be the first one to
remind you of that fact. Your kids do love you, and
you’re not forgotten because Sunday, is also a very
painful holiday reminder for them.

It’s painful to them to be without you because every-
where they go and see a father with his son or, with
his daughter; laughing, hugging, or kissing, smiling
at each other, going out to lunch together, to dinners
or a movie, driving together, talking on a cell phone,
texting, meeting up somewhere, it reminds them
that it’s also not them being with you.

Every time they turn on their TV that day, flip open
their computer, listen to the radio, they will hear
that it’s Father’s Day, and every time they pass by
a store there will be an item for sale saying it’s
Father’s Day, and they didn’t get you your present.

They didn’t get to say, “ you’re my dad “ and then the
words, `” I love you. “ They’ll try and block it out but
how do you block out the sky, the ground below, how
do you erase the touch on your skin or, what you feel
deep in your bones ?

Denial is a fixated condition for alienated
children, so is breathing. Memories of love for
father are never really erased they’re just
buried below the surface and those memories
will resurface on this Sunday, Father’s Day.

Take comfort in the fact that your picture may
not be in a frame next to their bed or on the wall
in their mom’s house, but they are not deleted
from their memory. It is also hard to ignore
mother trying to pretend how much better off
they are without you, while the look on her face
also reminds them she can’t be the father they’re
missing out on today.

No matter what stepfather tries to take your
place after you got replaced, displaced and
erased, nothing is ever going to hold back their
feelings of loss because they’re connected to
their father when they see themselves in a
mirror. Some likeness of you is something in
their DNA that they can see in their own face.

Not only are there painful memories there
are probably more than a few good ones.
Like the time you took them to a show, or
watched them at a school performance,
or played some game with them, played
with your pet, took them to visit your
parents, cooked a meal for them, these
memories are also resurfacing around them.

Imagine how it must feel for them to watch
their friends getting together with their dads
and how they have to explain or avoid talk-
ing about you not being around on Father’s
Day. Imagine their maternal grandfather try-
ing to act as a substitute for the father they
are missing in their lives and never saying,

“ Why don’t you call your dad today ? “

How is their behaviour going to be memorialized
in the future.

Father’s Day, is something I feel long after my
own father has passed away. You don’t have
to actually be around to be remembered and
to be loved. I don’t need to feel bad about the
father’s day I am not spending with him this
Sunday, I will be thinking about all the good
times with my dad and I know that your child-
ren might want you to believe that they don’t
love you back, but that’s just denial talking.

You’re as much a part of their life as you
have ever been ( even more so ) and not
because of being present, but because
of being absent. Believe it because we
know from all the social science research
that this is truly how alienated children
are feeling.

I feel my father is with me now even though
he passed more than 15 years ago. I was
alienated from him by a mother that
extinguished him from my life, but not
forever. We made up for all the lost time
and years of alienation that was stolen from
us both.

In the Jewish religion when a loved parent
dies we say prayers, Kaddish, and we light a
candle in memory of the parent. Perhaps as
a way to remember that you are still a
parent you should light a candle and keep
it burning all day, on Father’s Day.

Say a prayer of love, memorialize your
feelings of loss and perhaps to help be
forgiving so anger does not take over
the better part of judgment in your life.

As a targeted, rejected parent remember the
good parts of the person you are and remain
and strive to lift yourself up, don’t let any-
thing change that belief in your-self because
sometimes all we have is ourselves to believe
in, and in truth that’s the one person whose
opinion counts the most.

For more educational information please visit
http://www.ParentalAlienation.ca
and
http://www.ParentalAlienationEducation.com

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