For a Happy Marriage, Women should Calm Down

by W.F. Price on November 19, 2013

According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, when wives can calm down quickly, marriages are happier. Husbands’ ability to calm down has no influence:

From the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, I’m Ira Dreyfuss with HHS HealthBeat.

This isn’t about who wins the argument – but a study of hot marital fights indicates that when the wife calms down, the couples are more happy. Researcher Lian Bloch of the Pacific Graduate School of Psychology in Palo Alto found that in a study she did at the University of California, Berkeley. She looked at data that included recorded arguments by long-time husbands and wives.

“The marriages that were the happiest were the ones in which the wives were able to calm down quickly during marital conflict.”

Bloch says calm wives were able to look constructively for ways to deal with the emotions and talk about ways to solve the problems. Happiness didn’t change if the husband calmed down quickly.

The study in the journal Emotion was supported by the National Institutes of Health.

This makes perfect sense, because men react physiologically to verbal confrontations to a far greater extent than women. Actually, women react physiologically to lack of verbal engagement. When a woman argues with a man, it reassures her, whereas the man can feel literally sick from it.

This sex difference has been found to contribute directly to marital problems, up to divorce. What happens is that the woman, feeling a need to engage for some reason, nags the man, and he feels increasingly uncomfortable, eventually clamming up and avoiding her. This leaves the woman feeling uneasy, and she starts to withdraw and look for a way out (often another man).

A local marriage counselor named John Gottman, one of the few I’d recommend, developed his entire practice around this finding. Gottman holds that the single best predictor of future divorce is a wife who shows contempt toward her husband.

{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

Anon November 19, 2013 at 13:59

Even alpha males cannot stand their wives misbehavior and poor character thanks to feminist poisoning. Such men prefer to work all day and sleep away.

It’s not so much that men have lost their masculinity as the fact of it being maliciously used against them. And when trust goes, everything else goes starting with human relationships.

The women for their part will act accordingly to whatever depths society tolerates of them whilst they try to figure out why they’re so rejected.

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justeunperdant November 19, 2013 at 15:11

Maybe wives that calm down quickly are more submissive. Maybe there is more into this study that one dare to reveal. Maybe not.

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geographybeefinalisthimself November 19, 2013 at 15:40

“Gottman holds that the single best predictor of future divorce is a wife who shows contempt toward her husband.”

Judging from the divorce rate, the proportion of wives in opposite-sex marriages who show contempt for their husbands appears to still be on an upward, not downward, trajectory.

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Harcomas November 19, 2013 at 15:47

Even alpha males cannot stand their wives misbehavior and poor character thanks to feminist poisoning. Such men prefer to work all day and sleep away.

It’s not so much that men have lost their masculinity as the fact of it being maliciously used against them.

I totally disagree. No man should ever let his wife misbehave, or have a wife of poor character in the first place.

It’s a man’s duty not only to scrutinize a woman’s character before marriage, but also to demand his wife behave well. From the start, he must inform her (command, really) that she is to neither nag, nor argue. If you as a man can’t or won’t do that, but instead clam up and avoid her, then your misfortune is your fault.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 24 Thumb down 30
W.F. Price November 19, 2013 at 16:06

It’s a man’s duty not only to scrutinize a woman’s character before marriage, but also to demand his wife behave well. From the start, he must inform her (command, really) that she is to neither nag, nor argue. If you as a man can’t or won’t do that, but instead clam up and avoid her, then your misfortune is your fault.

-Harcomas

Well, this is not terrible advice, but the question your typical man is going to ask is “how?”

The problem is that men feel they have a lot to lose if they confront their wives. Many of them really would risk a lot, so what are they supposed to do? I’m afraid my advice wouldn’t sit well with them. I’d say “if you are subservient, chances are you’ll lose anyway, and on top of that you have to live like a dog.” But it’s not so much of an issue for me, because I have so little to lose.

What about the middle-class guys? How can they handle it? Divorce lawyers and family court judges will ruin them if they try to stand up for themselves. So what’s the solution?

DW3 November 19, 2013 at 16:19

Standing up for yourself is good advice, but hardly practical for many men. I’m in the situation that if I were to shack up again, there would be so little to extract from me that there would be no harm in me laying down the law, but for guys on their first marriage, there’s a lot to lose. I think for most, once they learn the important lessons, it’s already too late.

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W.F. Price November 19, 2013 at 16:27

Standing up for yourself is good advice, but hardly practical for many men. I’m in the situation that if I were to shack up again, there would be so little to extract from me that there would be no harm in me laying down the law, but for guys on their first marriage, there’s a lot to lose. I think for most, once they learn the important lessons, it’s already too late.

-DW3

Yep. That’s exactly the problem. Sometimes, I think the only solution is to totally disenfranchise men. Give women everything – I mean everything – and then see how much crap men put up with.

DCM November 19, 2013 at 16:30

“Harcomas November 19, 2013 at 15:47
………………………………
It’s a man’s duty not only to scrutinize a woman’s character before marriage, but also to demand his wife behave well. From the start, he must inform her (command, really) that she is to neither nag, nor argue. If you as a man can’t or won’t do that, but instead clam up and avoid her, then your misfortune is your fault.”

All modern authorities are servants of females. All judges grovel on their bellies before them.
That’s why men can’t.

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Anonymous Reader November 19, 2013 at 17:21

This article merely provides support for things men have long known.

One thing is missing – the man’s fight-or-flight response that is fired off by being yelled at. Most men, contrary to feminist lies, are not brutal beasts waiting for a chance to bash their wives (absent an extensive legal machine ready to pounce). Most men, in fact, literally can not raise a hand to their wife. The internal control, very likely genetic in part, won’t let them.

So a man’s bloodstream is full of complex compounds that prepare him for physical combat – his vision is sharper, his hearing is more sensitive, his muscles are tensing up, his digestion has shut down, his heart rate is increasing – and he cannot do anything with this surge of energy. He can’t fight her, and so he must leave, as soon as possible. He must go for a walk around the block, he must go to cut wood or chop weeds, he must go lift weights – something to burn off the cortisol and other compounds. If he cannot, then genuine physical damage will be done to his body, starting with the circulatory system. Do this enough times and he begins to age at a faster rate.

He must leave, one way or another. If he cannot physically leave, then he will mentally leave; by taking on a project that keeps her away from him, or by focusing all of his attention onto a book, or onto a game, or onto the comment box of a weblog…

And so the one thing that women always want, attention, is taken away from the woman because of her behavior. Because paying attention to her is painful to him, due to the incessant verbal attacks that stoke up his fight or flight limbic system.

Nagging, yelling, picking fights and other things women apparently love to do more than almost anything else except shopping cause both emotional and physical harm to men. Real, physical harm to their hormonal balance and circulatory system.

That’s what women do to men, when they refuse to calm down. They drive us away, and they cause harm to us in the process. Not that this bothers feminists or their manboobies – harming men, or causing them to come to harm, is all in a day’s work for them.

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Charles Martel November 19, 2013 at 17:42

Harcomas
I totally disagree. No man should ever let his wife misbehave, or have a wife of poor character in the first place.

I know some people who used to live within earshot of the home of John Reed, former CEO of Citibank. They told me when he came home they could hear his wife screaming at him for hours from a couple of hundred yards away.

His second wife was a flight attendant on his corporate jet, I believe. :)

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Anonymous Reader November 19, 2013 at 17:59

Martel, whatever John Reed had to pay to get rid of such a harpy it was worth it. Money can’t buy health after it is gone…

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gunner451 November 19, 2013 at 18:03

Funny how modern science is just figuring out what’s been known for the ages. To give a quote that’s around 3,000 years ago:

Proverbs 21:19 – It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Another piece of advise that goes along with that is to look closely at how a woman interacts with her father (if she has one). If she treats him with respect and submits to his authority you’ve got a good chance that she’ll do the same for you as her husband. If she doesn’t then run away as fast as you can!

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Szebran November 19, 2013 at 18:23

For a happy life, men should avoid marriage. Too much stress.

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oddsock November 19, 2013 at 18:47

Tom Leykis – A Woman Being Honest.

Have a really good listen to this one then listen to it again and again.

VAWALT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebfC37gFPCA&list=HL1384915439

MGTOW – Dangerous Waters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2B_K8h3wbQ

VAWALT

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CubanGuy November 19, 2013 at 19:07

Women need to gently (or forcibly) encouraged to go back to the home and help restructure the next generation. Their emancipaton has turned into everyone’s slavery to external/economic forces.

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Survivorman November 19, 2013 at 21:12

I have never EVER tolerated a woman’s disrespect.
That is why, at 57 years of age, I have never divorced..

or married.

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gilgamesh November 19, 2013 at 23:43

“I have never EVER tolerated a woman’s disrespect.
That is why, at 57 years of age, I have never divorced..

or married.”

Much as I’d like to think I’ve reached that point I still think I’d grumble “fuckin bitch” under my breath and walk away.

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Harcomas November 20, 2013 at 00:28

Another piece of advise that goes along with that is to look closely at how a woman interacts with her father (if she has one). If she treats him with respect and submits to his authority you’ve got a good chance that she’ll do the same for you as her husband.

A daughter’s respect and submission to her father’s authority do not appear out of nowhere. They are nurtured and inculcated from years of vigilant, devoted, and determined effort on the father’s part.

She is not guaranteed to do the same for the husband unless he continues where the father left off.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 14 Thumb down 14
Dire Badger November 20, 2013 at 00:55

One of the few advantages of Autism is conscious control of your fight or flight instincts. At that point, arguments are more of a question of ‘What exactly is the correct response that will stop the argument?” As a result, ‘arguments’ with my pet only exist when she is PMSing.

One of the advantages of being a gamer with a gamer female companion is that the communication of ‘tabletop roleplaying games’ does a good job short circuiting the desperate need to connect to a human being. While that need is difficult for someone like me to really understand (I am not a loner, I certainly have sexual and social needs, but those do not really demand a ‘romantic connection’). In addition, roleplaying games always give you an argument ‘out’, and something new to talk about… start discussing next week’s game and in non-pms disagreements the ‘stupid’ arguments are almost immediately over.

Of course, a spanking works too. I truly believe that most women argue with their men in order to merit a spanking. After all, if he doesn’t punish you occasionally, he may not really care. look at the dynamic of physically abusive relationships, pimps, the serial killer proposal affect, and the exclusively female condition of ‘stockholm syndrome’.
Peaceful men cannot keep their women. This has been proven a million times in a million places. Even the heart of game lies in simulating a violent, dangerous man.

If you are having trouble with your girl, experiment with sexual violence. Start gradually, light spanking and the like. By the time you move it up to her ‘accepting’ getting tied down and given a decent hard ass whipping with a belt, she is yours. When this becomes a standard practice for when she is being unreasonable, she has the potential to be your ultimate collaborator in avoiding police attention.

Simple fact. Women crave the perception of abuse. They feel validated and loved by a man that is not afraid to prove he is dominant in the most spectacular fashion. I am not talking about being unsafe or giving your wife a fat lip (bad move, and too likely to raise questions), but women are vastly more attracted to men they know could harm them and choose not to than to men that they feel are ‘safe’, because the ‘safe men’ are proving their inability to protect and keep them with violence.

Big hint, though… never mix violence with alcohol or drugs. You lose the ability to gauge your own reactions and strength, and alter in her perceptions from ‘dangerous protector’ into ‘drunken asshole that loses control’. Always keep your control.

Julia Robert’s movie ‘sleeping with the enemy’ was one of the greatest farces imaginable… a woman that had a husband like her first would have never left him, and would have likely done everything in her power to protect him from the consequences of his actions.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 22 Thumb down 20
Anon November 20, 2013 at 01:22

Now thats just plain bad advise Dire Badger … reeealy bad advice.

A man can get in deep deep trouble following that course … and end up in solitary max with actual certified deviants.

Throughout history, men all the way up the food chain have endured violent, slap-happy, abusive, disrespectful and shaming spouses without resorting to that.

Responding to a womans lust for sadism at all sets a man down a vicious spiral where he must escalate at every turn to quench her desire. Only self hate, shame and criminalism results from such bestiality which is where she wants you in the first place.

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Shenpen November 20, 2013 at 02:05

How could people love people they feel contempt for? Does this really need research or is obvious? It is not even about traditional male-dominant, female-submissive roles – I couldn’t love a woman I feel contempt for either, nor could I have a male friend I feel contempt for. I guess the fact that men are supposed to be more dominant just makes it worse but it exists in every configuration.

For my wife and me it was always downright obvious that an argument MUST be kept in the “you just done shit” level and never ever get even near to the “you are shit” level.

“One of his major findings was that, when a couple is engaged in conflict, if one or both of them becomes extremely upset, there is a good chance that the relationship will deteriorate.” No shit, Sherlock!

“Know about each other’s lives, interests and past experiences (Gottman, 1999)”

Who the hell would marry anyone he does not fully know?

“Refusal to accept influence means not accepting any part of what one’s partner is saying. ” One does not even do this in an online debate with strangers if there is any ounce of respect for the other.

Shit, Gottman must have treated some really weird couples. Basically strangers living together with no respect whatsoever?

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justeunperdant November 20, 2013 at 02:44

I would like add some more thoughts about what these people wrote:
gunner451, Szebran, Anonymous Reader and Harcomas

I wanted to say this for a long time but not could find the right way to say it. No I think I got it.

Basically, when you enter in a relationship with a women, you enter in what I like to call a human biological contract to reproduce, continue and assure the survival of the human specie .

A woman behavior is what is needed to continue the human race forward. For example, It means that a women cheating with a alpha is a way to improve the human race. She just does not know what is happening. Another example, most women are liar and good at deception. This is another way to gain access to man resources.

Man need to see women as biological unit that are obeying Darwin principles, not as long term life companion.

Gunner451 is right , everything about women has already been said. Man are too lazy to do their homework.

I agree with Harcomas . Women are feral animal that require attention. Submissive are just another deception that women use to manipulate man. Few women are really submissive. I saw my grand father correcting my grand mother all time, yet she never divorce him. Too much work for my taste to keep a relationship working.

Anonymous Reader and Szebran understand what is the man dilemma. I agree, I prefer peace of mind.

Another think, do people read comments. Is commenting on blog helpful to people or it is just a waste of time.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 4
Rod November 20, 2013 at 05:26

Yeah, it’s easy, isn’t it, just to tell men to be assertive, to grow a pair, to “man up,” etc. But in too many real life situations, SHE holds the cards that can always trump you. SHE has social and legal machinery on her side. SHE will always win in the court of public opinion. To be sure, our society has too much yin and too little yang, but is it always possible to correct that imbalance within the walls of one’s own home? You do what you can, but the deck is really stacked against you.

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Harcomas November 20, 2013 at 05:28

Standing up for yourself is good advice, but hardly practical for many men.

Yes, many men fear losing their worldly possessions, their status, the respect of their peers. So rather than acting like men, they instead become practical, and allow wicked women to hurt and humiliate them.

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Aharon November 20, 2013 at 05:30

Bill, thanks for extrapolating the unpublished “fine print” the government press release (from the link) neglected to state.

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Mike November 20, 2013 at 05:36

Women will not find any man attractive that they have lost respect for. I will set that statement up as just as absolute as the law of gravity.

The problem I see in this, is that the feminist movement is conditioning women to condition their men.

They sell the idea that the perfect man should look like X, dress like X, groom like X, talk like X, and fuck like X, and these kind of selling points directly appeal to the innate biology of women.

Women have always looked to catch the man they want and then to change him into a form that helps them keep him. Typically in the past this was done with comfort, and children. Now it is being done with sweater vests, and mani-pedis. I mean for Christ’s sake we aren’t your grown up version of Ken dolls.

The inherent flaw in this design, is that as the woman changes her man into the feminist’s view she subsequently starts losing respect for him. She doesn’t really know why, she just kind of looks at him like some really pretty picture that was in her mind, but that she didn’t get quite right on paper. So, now what does she do? She gets herself a new piece to start on.

I’ve seen this countless times, and yes this is simply my opinion. But, for every one of my male friends, colleagues, or family members that I’ve seen let their woman “mold” them, then that man has always lost levels of respect from their partner.

This disrespect always starts of mild, but then always transforms into frequent displays of public humiliation. “OMG Bob! Why did you park so far away! You are so stupid sometimes!” How many of us have either heard this, or something like it, being said to another man, or even had it said to us by our “better side”.

Once again, it’s all tied into the loss of respect. I love my wife more than any person on this planet. But she understands that love does not give her carte blanch, just as much as that love doesn’t make me her puppy, child, or project. That love makes me her husband, and that love demands respect.

Personally, I think more husbands & boyfriends need to reach down deep and reacquaint themselves with their nuts, and remember what led their women to want them in the first place… because I highly doubt it was the designer hair product she ended up buying you.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 4
Vektor November 20, 2013 at 08:19

Part of the problem is feminist conditioning. Girls and women walk around with a perpetual paranoia of being ‘dominated’ by males. So they think and act with a chip on their shoulder and an aggressive, almost belligerent attitude.

She fears being abused, so she is abusive first. Problem is, she was never abused, and now she is the abuser she so feared.

Early detection and a zero-tolerance policy are helpful. Avoidance works quite well too.

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Marky Mark November 20, 2013 at 09:55

I think the only rational thing to do is to NOT get married or get in a serious LTR… keep women you see at a distance and if you have trouble getting women to date you then just pay for it. It’s not worth the stress especially as women age and lose their looks you get some psycho beast yelling at you.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 1
keyster November 20, 2013 at 11:30

Ironically Gloria Steinem was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom today by Obama (along with Oprah of course). She fought for women’s freedom from men I guess; convinced women that wifery and motherhood sucked, and slutery and careerism was “freedom”. Patriarchy was men keeping women from being more like men.

http://www.womensmediacenter.com/press/entry/womens-media-center-congratulates-co-founder-gloria-steinem-on-presidential

Right now we have more unemployed men than women and almost two-thirds of college students are women chasing worthless, government funded degrees. Woooweee…you go grrl.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 2
Jensen November 20, 2013 at 20:36

A happy wife is a wasted life.

No marriage.
No cohabitation.
No joint property.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 1
BC Dad November 21, 2013 at 03:18

Gottman also offers a harsh and realistic assessment of what it takes to have a successful marriage:

‘Just do what your wife says. Go ahead, give in to her.’

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/1998-02-21/news/1998052084_1_successful-marriage-gottman-active-listening

All the more reason not to bother.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1
kuis November 21, 2013 at 11:39

Nagging, yelling, picking fights and other things women apparently love to do more than almost anything else except shopping cause both emotional and physical harm to men. Real, physical harm to their hormonal balance and circulatory system.”

The best looking woman i ever dated–at least 2 SMV points above me–turned into a nagging bitch when we moved in together. After 6 months i noticed more grey hairs and hair loss because of all the stress she put me under, on top of all the work stress. After a hard day’s work you need to unwind, not be hassled. Most men i know married to bitchy women have so many health problems.

i doubt it is a coincidence.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 1
chinesefootsoldier November 21, 2013 at 14:07

But regardless of fact, the feminist will simply skip over the study’s findings and read the headline her own way:

“Evil Patriarchy Tells Women to Shut Up and Know Their Place”

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2
daxamite November 21, 2013 at 17:28

My thanks to Dire Badger above.

Feminists. Spanked. Hahaha.

I pictured a line of feminasties over the knee in a public place getting what they deserved.

Gotta admit it is a great picture.
Haven’t had such a good laugh in a long time.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 2
MSimon November 25, 2013 at 01:07

“The Taming of the Shrew” explained it all in a Play. Written about 420 years ago.

The laws have changed some. But not woman’s essential nature. Nor man’s. The beta lives in a female dominated relationship – neither one is happy. The alpha lives in a male dominated relationship – both are happy.

BTW the wiki on the play – which I will not link – calls the play misogynistic. Goes to show you how much they know.

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ChrisC. November 25, 2013 at 20:16

“Gottman holds that the single best predictor of future divorce is a wife who shows contempt toward her husband. ”

That would be my situation as it stands today. My wife does not respect me, but I’ve allowed this to be the case. I’m not an alpha male, and I have been far to weak and passive in response to her vitriol. So, my behavior may be the reason why this is the case. I’m seriously considering moving out at this stage of the game.

She has told me that unless I find a way to support her while she goes to nursing school (and thereby quitting work, where she has full benefits), then she’s going to divorce me and “find another man that will take care of me”. Her words last night.

I’m currently doing seasonal work for a large retailer that pays $9.50 an hour. I’m working over nights and the schedule change plus the physical exercise has had me whooped, but it’s getting better. I’m currently forty-two years of age, and I don’t bounce back like a 22 year old.

This will be the first and last time I ever get married, or have a romantic relationship with any woman. I would much rather be single for the rest of my life and poor than to be threatened like this every time Princess doesn’t get her way. I’ve learned a ton from this experience.

Yeah, it’s real easy to look back and say , “coulda, woulda, shoulda”, but hindsight is always 20/20. Live and learn I guess.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1
Lisa November 27, 2013 at 12:22

I respect my husband. ‘Obey’ does not extend beyond the bedroom although the effect of the dynamic a couple establishes in the bedroom almost certainly extends throughout the relationship. In the bedroom HE is in charge (unless i’m feeling particularly frisky…but it will always end that way) and BOTH of us are empowered by this.

I do not consider his judgement better than mine (depending on the issue in hand of course) I do not tolerate dis-respect any more than he does. He would consider it ridiculous if I were to simply submit to his judgement at face value. He may have full possession of my body but my mind belongs entirely to me – as does his.

He works for money. I raise our children, cook traditional food (which has totally over-hauled his health), teach our children, grow most of our own food, clean the house etc.

I would like, when the children are older, to be able to earn enough to allow him much more free time to do the things he enjoys. I fully appreciate the sacrifice men make in caring for a family just as I acknowledge how much GOOD mothers give of themselves.

He does not have only one room in our house for his stuff nor is the interior a blinding, floral haze. He will cheerfully spark up a doobie (inside the house!!!) and play guitar for hours without feeling as though he’s required to entertain me. We talk. A lot. About everything. If he slips into an un-edifying routine I am quick to snap him out of it and he appreciates this. For us loving someone is not simply tolerating their behaviour, however ridiculous it may be, but doing our best to improve one another. His body belongs to me, mine belongs to him. I work out because he likes feeling a firm arse….he does push ups because I like the vibrancy fitness brings.

When we argue he is typically the emotional one, being very short tempered, and me the one more likely to desire a calm discussion. We only ever have all out, crazy, neighbours 2 streets away listening in, fights when i’m in no mood to be reasonable. Those arguments re-set us and are beneficial….in the long run at least.

Love. Honour. Cherish and Obey. This is a cryptic little doctrine and begins at the head, moving to the throat, stomach and finally the loins.
Love him in thought. Honour him in words. Cherish his body with proper food and Obey him in the bedroom. And above all of this – RESPECT!

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3
Ann K November 28, 2013 at 08:16

YES! Thank you so much! An conversation with my husband a couple of days ago escalated into an argument, and I had no idea why. The more I pushed for him to jus TELL ME, the more he reacted, and I could see him change physically. Now it makes perfect sense and I know better!

(I am writing this as I stand in my kitchen waiting for Thanksgiving dishes to finish cooking–thank you for another blessing to be thankful for!)

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Beth November 28, 2013 at 23:03

As a woman, and as a partner in a fulfilling long term marriage after going through two or three bad relationships that the ability to communicate with my husband on a one to one level is key in making our relationship work. I also learned in order for things to work I have to keep my cool when my last nerve is worked. If I calm down, nine times out of ten he’ll calm right down with me.

We never go to bed angry and we rarely ever fight, if we disagree about something important to either of us we discuss it and come to a mutual agreement. It also helps that while he’s high stress high energy, I’m low key and roll with it. I have also found that I would much rather be with an older self assured man (I’m 31 and he’s 49) who doesn’t bow down to me about everything. I don’t want that, if I can order him around I won’t respect him, and if I don’t respect him I won’t be with him period end of story.

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Brad November 29, 2013 at 18:08

Does this mean Latinas are not marriage material? They are known for being very feisty!

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angryfeminist December 6, 2013 at 12:18

First of all after reading many of these posts a good number of you men still believe women “have to” and “are expected to”, keep their mouth shut, order them around like a slave and fuck you when you demand!!

You men really think “alpha male” is something you should live by? Do you even understand what “being alpha male is”? The problem with you men is, women are no longer allowing men to dominate them and you men demand women to live by this patriarchal view. Stop fucking blaming the feminist movement on why women behave the way they do. I am not condoning their misbehaved actions, but both sexes are at fault for bad behavior.

The feminist movement existed to bring equality for both sexes and to let women know they have choices, so they’re lives are not being dominated, but you men are to stupid to understand that You ignorantly fall into the category of believing in the myths of the movement.

Both men and women need to learn to respect each other, work together, take responsibility and equally support each other!! One sex should not demand or disrespect the other, but it’s happening and why? Start loving yourself and stop demanding women to self serve your needs and women need to stop the bullshit too and hurting men. Maybe then you will find a person who loves you for who you really are:-)

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angryfeminist December 6, 2013 at 13:10

Lisa’s post was really great, she obviously has a clear understanding of her marriage with her husband and enjoys him being in charge in the bedroom:-) However “love, honor and cherish” are great, but for Lisa’s to obey her husband, I don’t agree with. It’s a patriarchal point of view to obey any man, this is where male domination can play into the relationship where one person is more controlled by the other. This word definitely needs to be revised as something else.

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Anonymous Reader December 8, 2013 at 20:22

angryfeminist, you are a fine example of why many men now refuse to marry. Because any man who would put up with the likes of you would be committing slow-motion suicide, one way or another.

The best thing for any man is to have nothing at all to do with women like you. The stress reduction alone is sure to add years to a man’s lifespan.

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Lynn December 26, 2013 at 07:51

What is an “alpha male” anyway? All this talk of alphas and betas, as if there were only two classes of men?
The more I read how these terms are used, the more unappealing both of these types appear to me.
Neither term is used in a way which implies that they would have any desireable characteristics.

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Dejay December 26, 2013 at 09:54

DW3 hit the nail on the head, bullseye on the mark. By the time many guys (especially in their first marriages) realize that they’ve been had, they already have kids, mortgages, car notes, student loans, credit card debt, and other obligations to deal with. There are many married men who would love to tell their nagging, controlling, high-maintenance, aduterous, boisterous wives where they could go; but they can’t and for good reason. To steal the words from Tom Leykis, they’ve become frog soup.

What a guy has to realize is that by marrying, much less having children, he cedes any leverage he has in the relationship to the wife. You see, once the contract is signed off on, the state of residence becomes her new tag-team partner, her muscle; not the husband. In other words, she has carte blanche to do whatever pleases her in the marriage without much reparations to her spouse if/when (lean on the ‘when’ part) it sours.

If she wants to complain incessantly about him not doing enough around the house, not making enough $$$, not being attentive to her needs, or not having as big a ‘personality’ as her ex, she can, and what can he do about it? He’ll go to court and watch a judge garnish his wages and give him a swift kick out of a house he’s still forced to make payments on. If she wants to have an affair with her high school sweetheart from a decade ago, she can, and what can he do about it? Family court will still reward her with the house, alimony, and the children while he foots the bill. And if he doesn’t like it, he can take his complaints to Jamal or Big Red between the moments he’s not getting his ish pushed in prison.

That’s precisely why so many women race guys down the aisle after two good dates, only to divorce him at the first whisper of trouble; or at least threaten him with that nuclear option in order to get him to comply with whatever she wants. Hence the saying ‘women get into marriage believing things will change while men get into marriage hoping things stay the same’.

My advise to single men is the same as that of Paul Elam, Tom Leykis, and countless others; DON’T GET MARRIED. The costs, especially in the current age of VAWA, no-fault divorce, and Title IV-D is way too high…

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Dire Badger January 1, 2014 at 02:56

Lynn-

Alpha and Beta males are terms that only apply within the game community, and are more a convenience at describing SMV+ and – than anything else. I personally disagree with some of the applications they are used to connote, since they are a bit too flexible for long term application, and denote a hierarchy that does not realistically exist. There are also too many outliers (more than 50%) that evidence both alpha and beta behavior. Within the game community, they are a fairly decent model for creating pickup opportunities, but a more comprehensive model is needed if you are more interested in serial monogamy and medium to long-term relationships. Myself, I find medium-term relationships more satisfying. To me, the acquisition and breaking of a potential slave is far more viscerally and emotionally satisfying than simple in-and-out.

Perhaps it would be more apt for you to look along the ‘dominant’ and ‘submissive’ scale instead. The only problem is, most people are unable to distinguish between obvious false dominance and legitimate dominant behavior, thus they simply lump legitimate dominant behavior under the catch-all term ‘natural alpha’, since the differences between false dominance and legitimate dominance make little difference in the short term game.

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Max January 1, 2014 at 21:46

angryfeminist December 6, 2013 at 13:10

However “love, honor and cherish” are great, but for Lisa’s to obey her husband, I don’t agree with.

Rebellious children never do.

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All Heart January 21, 2014 at 22:37

For any relationship to work, the needs of both parties need to be fulfilled. I can get on bored that women need to cultivated the managing of their emotions better. But then again, I can get on board that men need to cultivate the managing of their sexual desires better as well.

I think when a woman approaches her partner about an issue in a calm way, that yes, that’s the best way to go. However, we are all human beings and sometimes are emotions, including sexual, get the best of us. Hopefully our partners can recongnize our inner humanity and work with us to work on bette communication.

This shouldn’t be a matter of women just “shutting up” but of women expressing their views or problems to their partner in a way where both people feel like they can deal with the problem and not be in a confrontation.

“Julia Robert’s movie ‘sleeping with the enemy’ was one of the greatest farces imaginable… a woman that had a husband like her first would have never left him, and would have likely done everything in her power to protect him from the consequences of his actions.”

I think that was a great movie where Julia Roberts was shown breaking the chain of abuse and reclaiming herself. Yes, too many women fall into that chain of abuse too often. But there are women out there who do break the chain. Thank God right?

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