Some moderns may be shocked and confused to hear it, but gay marriage was very much a part of life for homosexuals long before the sham marriages that are being “legalized” in liberal American states and European countries became a popular political cause (despite not being so popular with male homosexuals themselves).
In fact, until some 50 years ago most homosexuals were married. It just happened that they married someone of the opposite sex.
Nowadays, this practice is returning as more and more single women find themselves approaching the end of viable fertility without a love partner, and homosexual men find themselves longing for the fulfillment of fatherhood. This kind of arrangement, not uncommon in the past, has been around since the beginning of history. Although not perfect, it is hardly worse than many straight marriages (and maybe more stable so long as both parties are fully informed), and far better for children than fooling them by saying they have “two mommies” or “two daddies.”
Presenting an alternative to surrogacy, adoption or simple sperm donation, sites like PollenTree.com, Coparents.com, and MyAlternativeFamily.com, as well as Modamily and Co-ParentMatch, are quickly growing in popularity.
David Arrick and Heidi Sadowsky, are also a couple who both wanted children, but didn’t want each other. Their solution was to have the child together and co-parent, without any romantic relationship.
The two had been friends for 20 years; Mr Arrick is gay and Ms Sadowsky never met a man she wanted to have children with, so the two agreed to have a child of their own, Nate, without the need for romance.
‘This is someone I have known for a very, very long time, that I trust, and I love,’ said Mr Arrick on the Today show.
‘We feed and love and clothe and shelter him. The fact that we’re not married, it’s not a big deal.
‘The biggest challenge is that we have separate households, so it takes a lot of communicating. You need to really be on the same page,’ he said.
Ms Sadowsky added: ‘I really wanted my child to have two parents. And I wanted to share the responsibility of raising a child with somebody.
Some people might want to criticize the above parents, but Ms. Sadowsky is far better than a woman who shoves the child’s father out of the child’s life following divorce. Mr. Arrick is to be commended, too, for raising his own child in a cooperative manner, and allowing him to have both a mother and father. That they are not a “love” couple may not be ideal, but it is second best, and much better than a number of other arrangements.
Children do best with both a mother and a father. It’s how nature designed us, so sometimes I’m quite confused by how leftists will vigorously protest GMO foods and then turn around and pretend that two men or two women can both be one child’s parents. If a child has a mother, that child also has a father, and vice versa. This is, at its root, my objection to gay marriage. It denies the natural, biological basis of parenthood, and by extension of marriage. If two women can be “mothers” of a child, then the biological father is meaningless. Some feminists may accept this without question, but I wonder, is this how most sperm donor children feel about it? Evidently not:
A letter to Dad on Father’s Day
Father’s Day 2012
I often wonder who you are. What is your name? Are you even still alive? The immutable power of these eternally unanswerable questions gradually consumes my soul. I will never know if I have ever unknowingly passed you in the street, or exchanged a sideways glance with your uncannily familiar brown eyes. In my mind’s stagnant whirlpool you are my flawless ideal of a father, yet in the clarity of reality you are no more than a perfect stranger. Simply the pleasure of knowing you exist somewhere in this universe does not bandage the wound of your absence.
I often wonder who I am. My family tree is severed in two- I am denied your half, its branches rich and strong with stories I will never be told. I wander aimlessly, never truly knowing the roots of my heritage, my nationality ambiguous and fluid. ‘Caucasian’, the sheet stated. This is a broad term that does not define anything…
I just want you to know, that whoever you are, wherever you are, and whatever you are doing, you are my father. The privilege of knowing who you are, of knowing who my family is, would place the missing piece that completes my existence. For now, though, and perhaps forever, I just wish.