40 Percent of Surveyed Japanese Men Prefer Bachelorhood

by W.F. Price on January 20, 2013

Commenter Kyo, who lives in Japan, pointed out an article on the preference many Japanese men have for bachelorhood. We’ve seen a few indications of this, what with the “herbivore” young men who simply avoid women altogether, and the cratering fertility rate in developed parts of Asia. In a recent online survey of 300 male readers of “My Navi News” a full 40% preferred bachelorhood.

However, in Kyo’s find the Japanese men are uncharacteristically frank — amusingly so as it turns out. The reasons they give for avoiding marriage are fairly diverse, but aside from the ones making excuses, they all appear to be saying something along the lines of “it isn’t worth it.”

Here are a some quotes from respondents:

“Just looking at my married friends and how day by day they become more and more emaciated makes me think that I’m lucky to be single.” (25, Creative Arts)

“Hearing about the cruel way that some wives treat their husbands turns me pale with fear.”(25, Creative Arts)

“To me, married men just don’t look happy, and the more time passes, the more this look of unhappiness becomes apparent.” (36, Finance).

[...]

“Rather than having your wallet squeezed of its last dime, spending your earnings as you please has got to be the more appealing option.” (24, Communications)

“All your hard earnings, in the blink of an eye, disappear into the oblivion that is housekeeping!” (24, Medical care, welfare-service)

[...]

“From impressions alone, marriage means throwing your hobbies out the window.” (25, Machinery).

“Being tied down creates unwanted stress. To put it simply, being on your own gives you the freedom to do what you want when you want.” (31, Machinery)

“I like drinking and gambling but tying the knot would surely mean an end to all of this.” (26, Real estate)

I get a kick out of the last guy.

So it isn’t just the West. It appears that all advanced, post-industrial settings tend to create substantial aversion to marriage, perhaps because men and women truly are fairly equal in terms of status and jobs.

This leads me to a theory about why marriage doesn’t seem to work all that well in egalitarian settings where there’s little difference between what men and women do.

When you level out the roles and create confusion about division of labor, it turns out that men and women don’t need each other much. Add to that the ease of obtaining extramarital sex, and there’s nothing all that compelling about marriage. Finally, because men and women really are different by nature, when they don’t rely on each other they often don’t like each other much, either, because they have such different interests. That’s a generalization, of course (some couples do have a lot in common and share common interests), but it’s probably true that in non-sexual settings most men don’t really like hanging out with women all that much.

{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous age 70 January 20, 2013 at 08:30

Amen. Here in rural Mexico, men go to work all day. Women run around all day visiting each other, doing household projects together, watching each other’s kids while the other mother runs errands.

Then, before the man comes home in the afternoon, the wife runs home and gets a hot meal ready.

And, when the man expresses a need, she gives him what he wants, or looks the other way while he sneaks out to tap the neighbor woman.

Studies have shown Central American, including Mexico, are the happiest people in the world.

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minuteman January 20, 2013 at 08:33

Everything you said makes perfect sense. The end result will be the devolution of the human race into third world savages. Natural selection works in interesting ways.

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Zorro January 20, 2013 at 08:38

…and it’s always a bachelor that gets to kick Godzilla’s ass. Him and an old scientist, a sexy young reporter chick and a kid named Timmy who couldn’t cut it in Gamera “The Flying Turtle” flicks.

You spend some time watching MST3K, you learn valuable, life-saving shit like this.

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geographybeefinalisthimself January 20, 2013 at 08:42

In a recent online survey of 300 male readers of “My Navi News” a full 40% preferred bachelorhood.

Good for them! Japanese MGTOW!

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djc January 20, 2013 at 08:46

I agree with all of those guys.

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Opus January 20, 2013 at 09:00

I am afraid this is off-topic, though it is about Japan but it has been on my mind: I have just finished watching (again – I saw it years ago on T.V.) the 1957 film of James Michener’s Sayonara in which you will doubtless recall Marlon Brando playing a ‘red-neck’ air force top-gun, falls for the lead dancer/singer from an exclusive Japanese female traditional-theatre troup, despite endless obstacles being placed in his way, firstly by the woman and the troup and then by the american military. I was looking at the comments at Imdb and predictably they see the story as rather old fashioned and the antagonism to mixed-marriage rather prejudiced. I do not propose setting out what some of those objections might be – the film largely skates over these to make the military look somewhat insensitive, but to ask how the Imdb audience would have felt had the story had just one crucial change to it: that is to say had the top-gun been Japanese and the dancer American. I imagine the story would be like this. In 1945 Japan dropped atomic bombs on L.A and San Diego thus winning WW2. A later war saw Japanese military fight Canada, and as a result Japanese Top-Gun Matsushita gets billeted to New York, where he sees and being enraptured by her attempts to meet a certain leading Broadway/Hollywood actress. They meet, fall in love but the Japanese military does not approve of Japanese men marrying American women. However love wins out and the American actress (say Zellweger or Gyllenhal) informs the press that she is giving up acting to go and live in her future husband’s obscure Japnese village where she will raise her future children. I predict women would find that oppressive to women and the men would be angry that American women were being taken away as brides by foreigners. Of course when it is the other way round everyone thinks it entirely reasonable. What looks like civil rights is merely a form of neo-colonialism and female financial empowerment.

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Wudang January 20, 2013 at 09:25

There has got to be Japanese bloggers writing about this stuff. We should try to dig some up and make some conections. Anyone speeking Japanese? Find bloggers who write about herbs, bachlerhood etc. and give them links to the manosphere.

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domestic discipline democrat January 20, 2013 at 09:34

If the girly, efeeminized, nerd-culture-obsessed asian youth I see every day in NYC are any guide, these bachelors are forswearing human females for manga comics, anime and other substitutes. A sad day for a once proud warrior race.

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livingwell January 20, 2013 at 09:42

I was married twice to completely different types. Different in every way except the in the consumption of money. Female spending is unimaginable. This is why the NFL is going all out to promote safety and using more females as announcers. Women will always buy more stuff than men. Revenue is king. I finally gave up on trying to control spending and will never make the mistake of marriage again. I’m still am amazed at how little I need to live a good life compared to my married servitude days.
Japanese men are very smart indeed.

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Abelard Lindsey January 20, 2013 at 10:11

The end result will be the devolution of the human race into third world savages.

Its understandable to think this way. However, aging itself will most certainly be cured by the end of this century which will allow for unlimited youthful lifespans. Biotech and bio-engineering are rapidly developing technologies (even faster than semiconductors). It seems unlikely to me that we will not be able to eliminate aging as a cause of death sometime in this century.

Obsession over demographic decline is a lot like similar obsession over the accumulation of horse manure in cities immediately prior to Henry Ford’s mass production of cars.

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Uncle Elmer January 20, 2013 at 10:17

Ya gotta love Japanese lyricism.

One Pearl Harbor pilot describe how he “flew in low and dropped the torpedo in the water, like a dragonfly laying an egg”.

This kind of narrative works well on women too.

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Zorro January 20, 2013 at 10:21

“Add to that the ease of obtaining extramarital sex, and there’s nothing all that compelling about marriage. Finally, because men and women really are different by nature, when they don’t rely on each other they often don’t like each other much, either, because they have such different interests. That’s a generalization, of course (some couples do have a lot in common and share common interests), but it’s probably true that in non-sexual settings most men don’t really like hanging out with women all that much.”

Wow. Three understatements that say more about modern society than you normally find in seventeen articles in The Atlantic, Slate, or any other liberal feminist rag.

Gentlemen, I give you The Spearhead!

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WRB January 20, 2013 at 11:15

“they often don’t like each other much”

In fact, children understand this better than adults. Boys dislike girls and vice versa, they play with different toys, read different books, play different games and so on. The reason why boys later become interested in girls is lust.

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El Bastardo January 20, 2013 at 11:31

Everything you said makes perfect sense. The end result will be the devolution of the human race into third world savages. Natural selection works in interesting ways.
-Minuteman

Honestly I don’t think it will be that drastic. Not like a dark age is not drastic, but definitely not the end of mankind as we know it either.

Strangely, although it is difficult historical research to find; women getting way too many “rights”seems to be the main predictor of a coming dark age? Like when Ancient Rome fell, women’s Lib, and rampant homosexuality seemed to be widely accepted; and people then, men especially, seemed content to forgo their traditional roles. Thus, they appeared to be too weak to stop the invasions that kept coming like an ocean tide through their history. Perhaps it was inevitable either way?

Interesting, no?

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Bob Wallace January 20, 2013 at 11:52

The Japanese lead the world in the creation of realistic Sexbots. They making their way over here, and maybe soon guys will marrying them, like the guy in the movie, “Serenity.”

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Brian January 20, 2013 at 12:23

Always very interesting to hear about these issues in Japan.

I wonder how the other Asian countries fare.

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Just Saying January 20, 2013 at 12:24

“……that in non-sexual settings most men don’t really like hanging out with women all that much.”

Another reason why men and women cannot be friends. They get bored shitless by the endless yappings about all the inconsequential details about a woman’s life, and that of her friends. Hell I am a woman and I get bored shitless too.

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Anonymous age 70 January 20, 2013 at 13:03

So, is minuteman saying those living in Mexico and Central America are savages? It is easy to make an argument that any society which lets its women murder a million unborn babies every year, and lets women toss out perfectly good husbands are the true savages. But what do I know?

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Days of Broken Arrows January 20, 2013 at 13:35

@livingwell:

Regarding his comments about spending money, I completely agree. Women spending money in the West is an epidemic of irresponsibility no one calls out because it benefits the consumer/media industrial complex.

I recently mentioned in a Facebook group that Sirius/XM radio seemed like a waste of money because you can get more stations (and better ones) for free on the Internet. Almost immediately females started in with “well for people who can’t *afford* Sirius/XM then Internet radio is good.”

I never said I couldn’t afford it. I said I felt it was a waste of money. There is a difference. Their inability to get this difference is what makes Western women so prone to being spendthrifts.

(And I haven’t even mentioned the story about a woman I know who is paying a psychologist to help her with “shopping addiction.” IMO this = wasting money to help stop wasting money.)

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Poiuyt January 20, 2013 at 13:42

But for generations here, women have been groomed by genderist culture and feminist laws into worthless ideologues and burdensome ingrates. They have become enemies operating from within the family or the workplace. It is a rational response for men to be weary of them and heterosexual relationships altogether.

On the other hand however, my rational mind also says to me, no matter the extent of women’s disorder, misbehavior, bestiality, connivance, cruelty, chicanery and violence, … They simply know no other alternative models and forms of decent personal conduct or acceptable behavior because they haven’t been taught them. And they cannot be taught them in this genderist society as currently constituted and structured.

Elsewhere, women really know how to live in dignity and decency with or without family or relational obligations, because harmony and common sense are social expectations and the norm. And there, it is also just as stringently enforced on men make not a nuisance or a disgrace of themselves, as it is enforced on women.

In this land however, females, for generations have been groomed into self delusion and a total lack of borders or boundaries. How then can such developmentally twisted and ungrounded women ever live or work amicably with others, whether in or out of relationship to her ?

Such things as close bonds, permanent familial relations, extended family, nuclear kinship, good personal deportment or acceptable public conduct are alien concepts to today’s women. They simply cant tell what might embarrass them and those around them from what is praiseworthy.

Another thing today’s women sorely lack in their repetoir is a simple respect for others. Yet, every ounce of their energies and that of their political handlers is directed at extracting by force, a coerced and synthetic respect for them. It is impossible to successfully relate to a human being expecting that you observe common courtesies and the rule of law with them, but not vice-versa because they are too special.

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anon January 20, 2013 at 13:47

Why would any man dare to marry and beget children with a woman whom here has the constitutional right or legal excuses to do this to his child ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-21114470
A 40-year-old woman has been charged with the murder of a two-year-old boy in Devon.

Angela Vane will appear before Torquay magistrates on Monday, Devon and Cornwall Police said.

The body of the boy was discovered after police were called to a house in the Champernowne area of Modbury at about 08:20 GMT on Saturday.

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Thos. January 20, 2013 at 13:48

So do I, but it’s friggin’ exhausting to get sex. Franky, I suck at casual sex. I lack the detachment I think you need to be good at it.

I hate to say it, but masturbation is much more efficient AND I don’t have t worry about someone touching my stuff.

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observer January 20, 2013 at 14:08

Hear Hear Opus:
“”I predict women would find that oppressive to women and the men would be angry that American women were being taken away as brides by foreigners. Of course when it is the other way round everyone thinks it entirely reasonable. What looks like civil rights is merely a form of neo-colonialism and female financial empowerment.”” [By way of theft, appropriation and expropriation ? ]

Thus would you also agree with my extreme discomfiture, even my rage, at having to suffer disprivileges and endure disabilities favouring white women, on the pretext of a social justice owed to all women ?

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Glenn January 20, 2013 at 14:23

A statistical variation of 4% of eligible men declining marriage would be very troubling in the long run. Conversely, a statistical variation of 40% is an unmitigated cultural disaster. Bring it on.

I disagree with some here that think Western culture will devolve into cave-man savagery. What is more lilely to happen is an evolution of the female to a more useful variant. Or, the females can all starve to death. Either way, the end result is more favorable than our current paradigm.

Either way, men win. The females…not so much.

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Thos. January 20, 2013 at 15:57

By “stuff” I mean computer, networking gear, drafting table, microscope, all that kind of nonsense

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justeunperdant January 20, 2013 at 16:29

I never married and I am 45 year old and retired. My living expense are so low that I could live on my saving until 65 year. I might get an easy not stressful job to pass time, but I am not interested in a corporate job. These kind of job eat you a live.

It seems that because of my life style, older men, 45 year and above will come to me and say thing such as my wife annoy me, I don’t recognized my wife, if my wife died I will never date again, I should have done like you and live alone.

If you are a young guy with a lot of energy, ideas, project, and have a good self esteem, you have no need for a women. You have everything you need to be happy. Embrace yourself and go forward.

Women have nothing to offer a men with with good self esteem and manhood. That is what older men told me and that is what I am telling younger men.

It is a lied that men and women are meant to be together. You, men, are complete and don’t need the validation of a women to be happy. Go out in the world and enjoy your life and fuck women. Use women for sex only because women will use us men for money and resource .

Enjoy now while the system is alive because you never know when it will collapse,

yourself,

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Steve January 20, 2013 at 16:57

The ideas of feminism have already reached Japan. Japanese young women aren’t the same as their female ancestors. Add to that the porn industry, which allows Japanese young men to see young Japanese women have sex on film for everyone to see, which destroys young Japanese men’s idea of Japanese girls innocence.

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TFH January 20, 2013 at 17:14

Here is why it has always been biologically natural to value a woman’s life much more than a man’s, and why every society on earth is oriented towards funneling resources towards women :

For biological reasons, a female’s creature’s life is far more valuable than a man’s, and this applied to humans until the modern era. The number of babies that can be born is the same even if a large portion of the men die, while this not the case if even a single woman dies. Hence, all of human history treats men as expendable. No society has been an exception to this.

However, this assumes that women spend their entire lives from age 15 onwards bearing and taking care of children. It was normal for women to bear their full capacity of children (10+), of which 40% would die early. Human society was geared to transfer all resources to women as this correlated to the survival of children. There was no reason to assume the correlation was anything but exact.

But in the modern era, women now only use 10-20% of their lifetime childbearing capacity, on average, with a substantial percentage of women bearing no children at all. Yet, society is still programmed to transfer resources to women. Go to any department store, and see that 90% of the items there are things no man would ever buy for himself. Look at all the houses built…. our entire economy is evidence that society still funnels all resources to women, even though this no longer is spent on children, and certainly does not correlate to the survival of children.

In the meantime, all the work that keeps modern society running, is done by men. Whether the gritty men who keep the lights running and the water flowing, to the introverted men who create all technological innovation, civilization = men. And these are the men usually termed as ‘Beta’.

So the citizens who produce the most value are under attack, while those who receive the best treatment are the ones who no longer perform the primary task upon which this good treatment was delivered.

This will change. Rather soon.

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greyghost January 20, 2013 at 17:52

Who’s to say turning away from women isn’t a warriors way. Imagine 40% of men bad enough to not identify themselves with getting pussy.

“I like drinking and gambling but tying the knot would surely mean an end to all of this.” (26, Real estate)

That right there was hard as rock.

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gilgamesh January 20, 2013 at 20:00

I’m hearing that once men get really old (I want to say 70) their lives are pretty miserable if they don’t have families to take care of them. I think they could be right but why should I make my life miserable before I’m 40 by marrying, or go to work every day when I’m 70 to pay an ex-wife for deserting me?

Fuck it, at least I can hold out longer than Suzy Sucksalot and her 50-cat menagerie.

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evilwhitemalempire January 20, 2013 at 21:26

japanese men are among the smartest in the world

so when that godzilla first came ashore in the nineties they, unlike us, saw the writting on the wall

they’re ahead of the curve on mgtow

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Opus January 21, 2013 at 05:02

Whilst I am thinking about the Japanese, I will add:

The definitive dramatic statement of Japanese-American relations is of course your own David Belasco’s play from the 1890s Madame Butterfly, and Michener’s story is very similar. In Butterfly Lt Pinkerton of the U.S. Navy meets a 15 year old geisha by name of Cio Cio San. The Bonze does not approve and the American consul Sharpless gets involved. The marriage is a lease for 1000 years terminable on one days notice (rather like marriage 2.0) and in Act 3 Pinkerton returns with his new American bride Kate, Cio Cio San commits suicide (there is a double suicide in Sayanora) and the small child – a boy – of Pinkerton and Cio Cio San returns with him to America. It was thus preditatble that in scoring Sayanora Franz Waxman should write in sub-Puccini vein – so I was expecting another tragic ending.

The only other film I can think of about Americans in Japan (and surprisingly good too) is The Bad News Bears in Japan, where Tony Curtis plays a sleazy con-man/agent. I am told that its portrayal of Japan especially the bizarre Game Show sequence (with a godzilla) is true to life. On this occasion the score (appropriately utilising some of Sir Arthur Sullivans’s Mikado music) is by Asian-American composer (Professor at UCLA) Paul Chihara.

I guess you did not need to know all that.

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hisoj January 21, 2013 at 07:23

of course married men aren’t happy, they have to get married to women.

as for men and women not needing each other, well it’s clear that men don’t need women. not as true when it comes to women not needing men.

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keyster January 21, 2013 at 07:58

…when they don’t rely on each other they often don’t like each other much, either, because they have such different interests.

Women don’t really have “interests” other than gossip, fashion and children if they have them. You can’t talk to them about politics because they don’t understand it, and they’re not interested in sports (and usually don’t understand all the rules if they are). Most couples go to dinner and a movie as a shared interest and/or eat at home and watch drama or reality TV. They’re sexual partners so both have at least that much satisfaction from the other.

Unless the topics are relationships or children or food or gossip – most women are boring and shallow; very uninteresting. They’re not men, they’re mothers. Being a mother (and at one time a wife) is what they’re best at doing.

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Tom Smith January 21, 2013 at 08:23

Mr. Price- you have overlooked one major aspect of the MGTOW movement generally. That is: “the commoditization” of women, particularly in Asia.

Women (or the company of women) are merely seen by most men as a commodity, just like any other product. In Japan, men have realized it’s cheaper to “rent” time with women as opposed to “buying” them (i.e. marriage). This is particularly true if the sex comes without the necessity of marriage.

In my view the other reason for the decline in fertility- at least in Asia- is the cost of raising children. In the major cities, men are expected to work long hours, so the time expense of raising children falls on the women- most women now want “freedom,” whatever it means to them (i.e. work, time with their friends, the cock carousel, etc.). And the cost of children’s activties continues to increase, while wages have not (the exception to the wage increase issue is China, where wages have risen rapidly).

In Japan, why would a working man want to turn over his entire salary to a wife who does not have to account for how it is spent and will merely give him an “allowance” while not putting out on a regular basis? Hint: the answer is NO ONE. I think most younger men have realized this in the West as well, but the fact that such a survey was done in Japan- along with the results- is especially telling.

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keyster January 21, 2013 at 08:26

I’m hearing that once men get really old (I want to say 70) their lives are pretty miserable if they don’t have families to take care of them.

“Really old” men who are married are some of the most miserable souls you’ll meet. They hang around the house all day aggravating their wives who nag them to death. They go to parks and sit in the cars in the parking lots listening to talk radio, (they can’t get out and walk around because then they’re suspected of being pedophiles on the hunt). Their wives want them “out of the house”. Sometimes they go to the doctor or the mall and people watch.

There are some older couples that adore each other, but they’re the exception. A lucky man is the one that finds an agreeable woman.

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keyster January 21, 2013 at 08:44

I never said I couldn’t afford it. I said I felt it was a waste of money. There is a difference. Their inability to get this difference is what makes Western women so prone to being spendthrifts.

Ask the next woman you meet if she knows how many zeros are in a Trillion, or if she knows the difference between a deficit and a debt or how much we’re paying annually in interest on the debt.

Then ask her who Kim Kardashian is dating or what colors are “in” this spring or whether she thinks Bradley Cooper is a hottie. Ask her who she voted for in the last two presidential elections. She’ll have all the answers.

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Masked Stranger January 21, 2013 at 08:51

@El Bastardo

“Thus, they appeared to be too weak to stop the invasions that kept coming like an ocean tide through their history. Perhaps it was inevitable either way?”

We have biological weapons that could destroy a whole enemy population if we wanted to.

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Jabberwocky January 21, 2013 at 09:08

The Japanese man. We had to kill them down to the last one to pry them out of their island fortifications. They are resisting in the only honorable way a warrior race can; by not giving in. It is a long term strategy. Maybe generational. In a world without rational choices, the irrational is often the best choice. Death before dishonor. Even as a society.

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Some Anon January 21, 2013 at 11:13

Most jap men, maybe even more than in the west, live sad incel lives.

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piedpiper January 21, 2013 at 12:48

I’m pretty sure there is something in the Japanese national anthem about the glory of not having a nagging wife that spends you into destitution.

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orecret January 21, 2013 at 13:35

What is the easiest way to save a text copy of all these gems being dug up at The Spearhead? I need hardcopy of the whole website from the beginning. This stuff is invaluable.

Have I missed a function key somewhere? What if I pay for a DVD copy of the entire archives up to this point… and then annually thereafter? Is such an option yet available? Can it be done?

How about putting together a section on raising boys and young men? Along with hyperlinks to the relevant archival sections?

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crella January 21, 2013 at 17:14

One other interesting thing on Japan Today is the comments by western women in Japan, there are two main themes…

How Japanese men are too shy to date them (or ‘wimps’, depending)
and
Vicious vitriol directed at white men in Japan dating Japanese women…’losers who couldn’t get a date in their own country’ ‘they don’t realize it, but they’re dating all the ugly Japanese girls that Japanese men don’t want’ ‘pencil-necked geeks who think they are gods in Japan because Japanese women don’t know any better’. It’s stunningly nasty…

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Mark January 21, 2013 at 17:25

Look, Godzilla was a Men’s Right Activist. Don’t I remember him lumbering in to save Baby Godzilla? Where the hell was mom?

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kuis January 21, 2013 at 20:51

Crella: thats because Western Women arent wanted in Japan! and the idea that Western men only.get ugly.Japanese women isnt true in my experience.

Anyway, Japanese women are even more shallow and vapid than American women. They also expect men to pay for everything and want the whole princess treatment. and just like U.S women, they tend to get more controlling when you marry them.

A good friend of mime got married two years ago to a slighly older woman who is far richer than him, but she settled out of desperarltoon

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kuis January 21, 2013 at 21:01

settled out of desperation(re: former hottie ran out of options) and they had two kids–she just popped out the second one at 37–and you can tell that he is miserable. about the good Last time i visited him he was remi.iscing about the ‘good old days’ when he was single and living in the old neighbourhood.

Poor bastard. He is stuck and he knows it!

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Anonymous January 22, 2013 at 01:44

Comment by “FPSRussia” in the article really hits the spot. I find it amusing that the Japanese government are still wondering why their men are withdrawing en masse, and kept on doing useless surveys like these.

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crella January 22, 2013 at 02:53

‘the idea that Western men only.get ugly.Japanese women isnt true in my experience.’

Oh, absolutely! I’ll be here 33 years in June, I know. I know more than 20 guys married to great women here.

Age determines rank, not many men here marry older women. Some sports figures have and do, because they want someone who’ll manage the off-field aspects of their careers, an ‘ane nyoubou’ or ‘older sister wife’ (translation for the benefit of Spearhead readers not versed in Japanese).

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Ode January 22, 2013 at 06:56

japanese men are among the smartest in the world

Humanity will forever be indebted to the Japanese for their disproportionate contributions: Blu-ray Discs, flat panel displays, digital SLR cameras, ….to name a few.

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Random in Japan January 22, 2013 at 14:24

I think that marriage is Japan is not always about being in love. Often times it’s about two people making a partnership for mutual benefit. Well that’s how it was traditionally. Not always but the concept of omiai comes to mind.
Maybe that dynamic has changed and herbivore men don’t see women as advantageous?
It’s hard to say.

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Random in Japan January 23, 2013 at 04:01

I asked my female co-worker what she thought about the whole herbivore-man concept. She said that those guys were “weak and un-manly”. So I’m thinking that the “soushokukei” or herbivore-man is shaming language. I don’t know, I’m trying to compare American Culture to Japanese Culture so maybe something is getting lost in transration?
Free-range Men is probably close to the actual concept. And, what’s wrong with not manning-up anyway?

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macman January 23, 2013 at 12:57

getting pushed around by japanese women…dam a western girl would destroy these guys

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Jackie January 25, 2013 at 22:29

I’m a 25 year old woman and it pains me to read this article and its comments. I’ve been in a relationship with a masculine man for a year and half now, but we would not have worked out if I had not come across the ideas of femininity and masculinity. I admit I’m not the MOST feminine woman.. I believe I have a more logical brain than most women and the capability to understand men (I got straight A’s in school, and I loved math and science). But there are times I recognize the emotions in me that scream out “controlling, jealous, nagging, or boring.” I have submitted to him quite often in arguments, as well as sexually which has made for the best sex ever. I read these types of articles to get an insight into what men are thinking, and it’s just really disheartening. Many of you talk about how much money women spend, but ironically, I think it’s my boyfriend who wastes money. And yet I still ask for his advice when I’m considering spending a chunk of money. In any case, I wish I had been shown how to be a traditional woman growing up because it is more difficult now to change, but I never want to stop trying. Just wanted to let you guys know there are women out there who are willing to be taught.

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crella January 29, 2013 at 15:58

‘Submitting to one’s husband’ (which is what I assume you’re referring to) is wiling to let the man lead, not becoming a robot. It’s a major misunderstanding with young women like yourself, as feminist propaganda has painted marriage, housework, and child rearing to be the worst kind of slavery.

It means letting your husband lead. A ship’s crew, a baseball team, a company, they have captains, and a CEO. Are sailors, baseball players, and company workers oppressed slaves by having a boss, or a captain, or do things run smoothly because there is solid leadership? It’s leadership, not master and slave. It’s being willing to concede to better judgement, and to trust in your mate’s leadership. Ask any woman what she’ll be doing in 5 years and most won’t know. Ask any man what he will be doing in 10 years, and you’ll get a solid answer. Men are natural leaders. There is no shame in following another’s leadership. It’s not slavery, no matter what you’ve been told.

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Dejay January 30, 2013 at 08:55

Jackie = needle in haystack/odds of winning Powerball/being struck by lightning inside a military bunker. In other words, most of us don’t have the fortunate opportunity to run into women like you. Your feminist evil twin on the other hand…

Unfortunately, this column and its comments aren’t meant for one particular person. It is a series of generalizations that many of us have been subjected to firsthand. There is a reason why the divorce rate is 50% while the ones that are deemed ‘successful’ have as much hostility within the house as an overcrowded prison cell. And is it any wonder why 70% of divorce cases are initiated by women? If women didn’t have the full weight of the law in their hip pockets in terms of getting half their spouses resources shipped to their address at their beck and call, would those numbers still be as high?

It’s for those reasons, along with the jackass idea of compromise (definition: doing what the other wants you to do while making you BELIEVE that you actually had a say; you didn’t) and giving someone else the monopoly to one’s sex life and freedom that have single men running for the hills in droves. With the staggering amounts of sex available, there is no need for men to ‘settle down’ with one person. Case in point; 20+ years ago when I was in my teens, the only adult-related material you could find was in some magazine you had to sneek into the house or on some channel that screwed up your eyesight because it was scrambled so much. Now that same material (and then some) can be found for free on a cellphone with a Wi-Fi connection or 4G. The ‘golden days’ of picking out that special someone in high school or college, marrying them, having kids, and living happily ever after has gone the way of solid-state TVs, VCRs, and 8-track cassettes. You rarely find them and when found, a lot is made about how they’re still around when more available options abound.

Plainly stating, the main reason why most men even talk to women outside of the workplace is to sleep with them; THAT’S IT. Why do you think the cableman offered to put free HBO and Cinemax in your house? Or the guy at Advance Auto offered to change out your spark plugs while other guys were knee-deep under the hood changing their own? Out of the goodness of their hearts?

Japanese guys are seeing the light that a lot of guys here have been exposed to for far too long. The benefit for men getting married are…. what again????

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EasyRob February 4, 2013 at 13:20

And the problem is? I am sure the numbers would be the same for North America or not too far off.
Even the beta friends I have aren’t exactly running to the alter with there “girlfriends”.

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EasyRob February 4, 2013 at 13:30

As for Japan, I know quite a few guys from different backgrounds who lived/worked there and loved it very much. The women aren’t perfect but they seem to be the better of two evils.
I know of some executives who were there for work with there western wives, quite a few of the wives ended up coming back home alone. It was such a problem the company had to take action.

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Bikada March 15, 2013 at 12:19

So much bitterness and hatred toward women. But in the end men still need them for sex and maybe that’s why they are so angry. No matter what they still have to purchase sex in one form or another because they can’t be happy without it. Women who just want your money will get it one way or another. I am a single female who was celibate for 14 years and my life was great. I supported myself & my children comfortably. I did not miss sex or the company of a man so I did not need one in any way. Our planet is overcrowded so no more children need be conceived or born. We can coexist without all the bitterness. Free women from the constraints of sexual repression and we will gladly have casual sex. Things will be like in the animal kingdom where the dominant Alpha males will have their pick and the less desirables will have to take what’s left, if there is anything. Women can happily socialize with each other, which we already do. Maybe we need a paradigm shift but we don’t have to be nasty about it.

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Guts March 27, 2013 at 08:36

How sad…….I don’t beleive the men in these surveys at all….it’s not that they don’t want women in their lives, it’s more along the lines of they *can’t* get women or their options are so limited that a lifetime of celibacy is preferable than to what’s available to them. No man *chooses* to abstain form women unless they’re gay or have some seriois mental problems. When Japan, like their Western counteparts failed to grasp the concept of female hypergamy and began educating women and encouraging them to work outside the home they inadvertently cut the balls off a large segment of their men and this is the fruit of that insane policy.

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carl July 16, 2013 at 09:36

bikada you are wrong,some men absolutely hate sex.The only reason they have it is because of peer pressure.i am one of them.i,ll be 29 years old by august 6th this year and i,ve never had sex.i,ve only had a girlfriend once in my lifetime and she,s the one that asked me out.i find sex disgusting especially all the semen and stuff.i watch porn and it,s not pretty.i,ve asked out a girl only once and i,s because my friends pushed me to it.i was 19 at the time.i,m heterosexual by the way.i,ve never been attracted to another man.it,s gross to me.

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Weisse August 22, 2013 at 19:25

The comments from those bachelors were amusing. Out of 300, really? Talk about generalizing. Young Japanese tend to care for brands and trendy items and clothing, of course they are not going to care for marriage much at a young age. When I started earning money I wanted to buy some many things, and didn’t care for marriage. Once your lifestyle settles, things tend to change once you mature. The young generation these days are anything but mature, just materialistic and more so in Japan.

Walking around Tokyo you are flooded with different trends and young Japanese trying to standout with their fashion needs, especially the ギャルtypes. Most of my Japanese friends under 24 don’t really care for marriage “at the moment”, and friends over 30 said the same when they were younger, but eventually got married in the end due to wanting a more settled lifestyle.

This of course doesn’t count for everyone, but most friends I talk about this topic in Japan said so to me.

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karumanta December 16, 2013 at 08:40

It’s sad to read all this hate on woman here. What is so wrong about equallity in a relationship? I have been married for 13 years and my husband and I are still going strong. We see each other as equal, and yes I really mean equal in the real sense of the word and not one of us dominating the other. Also I don’t think of men as natural leaders, some of the are, some of them aren’t, just as some woman are born mothers and some don’t like children at all. I think just in every aspect of life it depends on the individual and their abilities. I’ve seen men who where better at raising children than their wifes and I’ve seen woman that were more carrier orientated than most of their male conterparts, if the ability is there and they want to do it, they should do it. I guess to me a relationship/marriage means balancing each other out. There are things my husband is better at – even girly things – where I appreciate and often take his advice, just as he’ll listen to me in aspects I have more knowledge. No-one knows everything. We talk a lot though. With each other, not against a human wall. Maybe it also helps that we are brutally honest, which can be hurtful at times but at least with the truth you can work, with a lie or silence you can not. If you don’t know what is wrong there is no chance anything will change. My husband can’t read my mind and I don’t expect him to, the same goes the other way around.

I guess when it comes down to it men don’t need woman and woman don’t need men. We all can do fine by ourselves and a lot of people of both genders I know are doing just that. They work, they are independent and enjoy their life. As everyone of us should do as long as it doesn’t hurt others.

Finally I would like to say that man and woman can’t be friends cause they don’t have the same interessts is wrong at least for me. Through all my life I had as many male friends as female ones. Some of them wanted more some of them didn’t. Sure I don’t like sports but I’m not a brainless, gossiping, fashion victim( actually fashion is boring to me, I only buy timeless high quality non-label clothes that maybe expencive, but which I will wear for ten years and longer, so in the end it’s a lot cheaper than always buing new ones) either. I am interessted in politics, cultures, history and a lot of different things.

So, I guess it’s not so much about gender roles but about personalities that have to fit. Some men like submissive women. Some women like to submit. I for myself would never submit to my life partner, but I will also never try to dominate, as I am a firm believer of equallity not only in relationships but also between races etc. It suits my personality and I will be forever grateful that I was lucky enough to have found a husband that compliments me so well. To all those woman disliking man out there, who are still up to it: there is a pot to every kettle and not all woman are man- eating monsters even if they don’t belong to the submitting category. There are good and bad people on both sides who abuse their powers. Good luck to everyone :)

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Eliezer Ben-Yehuda December 22, 2013 at 04:59

dear karumunta -

Show us your husband agreeing with your sentiments, or STFU. Divorce Court in 2013 in America is so toxic and dangerous to men that PLENTY of men avoid taking advantage of it.

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