People sometimes post our articles to Reddit’s men’s rights subreddit, and for the most part I appreciate it because it brings in some traffic and introduces the content to new readers. However, there’s a contingent on Reddit that really, really hates this site. Reddit is one of those enormous communities that contains multitudes — the men’s rights section alone has over 50,000 subscribers. When you get that many people, it’s pretty much impossible to keep a handle on things, so if you try to keep out infiltrators and such you won’t have much luck. So, it seems that as feminism has started to lose appeal, suddenly a bunch of feminists have gravitated toward the Reddit men’s rights subreddit.
For example, here’s a recent post by a feminist “thanking” MRAs:
This may not see the light of day, but for those who are reading:
I’m a young female feminist. And a little new to feminism. Because of my personality, I can go a little over the top, I can speak a little too harshly under the guise of passion for equality.
But subscribing to this sub has made me realize that although I am a proud feminist, there are extremes and there are radicals that can do more damage than anything.
I’m not going to apologize for the feminist fuckery that happens- Just as you (if you are male) are not obligated to apologize for the evils your sex commits…
How nice. Feminists know they are losing their support so now they are trying to make nice. Why, just a few years ago they were calling us the “abuse lobby,” and now they want to be friends. Forgive me if I’m a bit skeptical…
Getting to the point, a reader posted last week’s article on the rape abroad study, and immediately some feminists jumped in to denounce it. They got very vocal about the critique of the term victim blaming, while also demanding that rape be treated as a “unique crime.” This made me wonder whether they really do want to prevent rape. Actually, I think their actions prove that they don’t really give a damn about rape, or at least they aren’t worried about it in the least.
In the article, I suggested that those who want to minimize their chances of rape must take certain precautions, such as not going out alone amongst strangers, getting loaded, dressing like a skank and generally acting like an easy target. I compared this to men who want to avoid being assaulted, which is a crime that is more common than rape, but has some similar elements. Avoiding assault requires some precautions, including discretion about what you say. It may be your right to call that big thug on the corner a stupid, ugly SOB, but it isn’t advisable. Similarly, it may be a woman’s right to wear clothes that clearly display her secondary sexual characteristics (t&a), but it isn’t always advisable. When you mouth off to someone, it is called a “provocation.” When a woman wears revealing garments, they are called “provocative.” Both produce limbic arousal, which in certain, impulsive individuals can provoke aggressive emotional responses.
So, if you aim to avoid aggression of the ordinary or sexual sort (both are fairly closely related), you have to avoid provocation. For men, this generally comes down to avoiding aggressive language and displays, while for women it’s more a matter of avoiding flaunting her sexuality. Needless to say, women who flaunt their sexuality are also putting the men around them at risk. There’s a reason that the most sexually provocative women at clubs are typically found gracing the arms of the most menacing men; ordinary men would be essentially asking for a fistfight if they walked around with half-naked, sexually desirable women.
Not provoking people sounds pretty simple, and it is for most of us. However, I am well aware that young people drenched in hormones sometimes have a difficult time controlling themselves, so I’m willing to be understanding and to extend some sympathy to those who make mistakes. I personally made a few of those mistakes as a youth, and I once paid for it with some serious pain, but fortunately nothing of any consequence came of it. Quite frankly, I consider myself lucky I never got hurt too badly.
Being a rather compassionate person, I’m perfectly willing to take young people aside – male and female – and give them some advice that might keep them out of trouble. For young men, I’d first ask whether it’s worth risking getting stabbed or shot to look tough in front of a few people, and then tell them that if they’d like to avoid getting hurt, they must exercise some discretion on the street. Not that they should be cowards, but is it courage or stupidity to let one’s pride get the upper hand and end up on the wrong end of a gun?
Johnny Cash has a good song about it. Not a bad song to have your boy listen to if he’s got a bit too much spirit for his own good.
For young women, I’d ask whether all the male attention is worth it if there might be a really bad character out there. Sure, most men won’t hurt her, but there are some pretty low-down, scummy people out and about, and she’s catching their attention too. Wouldn’t it be better for her to avoid making a sexual spectacle out of herself around strangers and in public places?
But feminists won’t have any of that. No, if I give a woman that kind of advice, I’m a “rape apologist” engaged in “victim blaming.” To feminists, it’s unthinkable that a woman should exercise any precautions before going out into the world. There’s no problem in their world with telling men to be careful who they hang with, where they go and what they say, but women must never, ever be given sensible advice about preventing themselves from becoming victims.
You’d almost think they don’t care whether women get raped or not…