Now that more money is in the hands of women and more men are hard up and without a job, it’s likely that there will be more older female/younger male couples. However, rather than true love relationships, many of these will likely be some sort of gigolo setup or outright fraud. Unfortunately, I think fraud will come to be more the norm, because it offends a woman’s pride to support a man, even when it would be fair of her to do so.
The number of lonely middle aged women is getting to that critical point where they will be seen as resources to enterprising young men who are down on their luck. Anecdotally, I’ve been hearing about this for some time, particularly in regards to men who set up internet dating accounts, only to discover that the majority of interested women are five to fifteen years older.
Some men are happy to date older women, but they are a pretty small minority. It simply isn’t a normal practice anywhere in the world, which strongly suggests there is an insurmountable biological basis for men’s preference for younger mates. However, there’s more to it than that. Unlike older men who date younger women, older women are not usually generous with younger men. Rather than accept that their advanced age is something they ought to compensate for, which men are usually all-too-happy to do, they tend to instead delude themselves and act coquettish, as though they are half their age, despite the fact that their charms have all but worn off. So the man who goes into this kind of relationship expecting that she’ll be understanding and generous is typically disappointed. This leads to resentment, which I suspect is behind a fair amount of the fraud.
For honest men, dating an older woman is generally a bad idea, because not only will she have less to offer sexually, she’ll demand more as well. The more money she has, the more she’ll expect you to spend on her. The worst story I’ve ever heard of concerning a woman with a younger man (boy, actually), was when a teacher seduced a friend of mine when he was 15 years old. She was in her mid-30s and had a son who was only a few years younger than my friend. Really a weird situation, when you think about it. The son was not at all pleased. So, my friend, who came from a poor, single mother household, asked her at one point for some money. Not as in a strict sex for money exchange, but instead just some cash to get around and amuse himself. At this point, the woman exploded, calling him all sorts of names, saying he was trash, that he didn’t deserve anything, and he should be happy he was getting some from her for free. Keep in mind that she was committing a crime at the time. Rather than take revenge on her, which would have been as easy as calling the police or the school she was employed with, my friend just cut her off. However, even to this day he recalls the treatment she subjected him to with a great deal of bitterness. It had a negative effect on his life for the next ten or fifteen years, during which time he had a difficult time connecting with women in a healthy, non-exploitative manner.
Unfortunately, older women all too often do have this attitude of contempt toward younger men. After some experience, most men figure this out, so by a certain point the remaining men who are willing to date older women are well aware that they will have to defraud them in order to get anything in return for their efforts.
The following story, in which a younger Irishman ripped off a New York woman to the tune of $4 million, will probably become more common in coming years:
A 60-year-old American woman has been defrauded of millions of euro by her younger Irish lover, who she claims had been leading a double life, the High Court has heard.
New York-based Ms Elisa Rodino claims that Thomas J Queally, who is aged in his mid forties and who had been engaged to her, has stolen approximately $4m of her money.
A large portion was lodged by him into a bank in Ennis, Co Clare.
She also claims that Queally, who she has not seen for months, had another finance while engaged to her.
Today at the High Court lawyers acting on her behalf secured a number of temporary freezing orders against US based Mr Queally, of Lahaknock, Kilmaley, Co Clare.
The orders prevent Mr Queally reducing, dissipating or transferring funds below a value of €1.6m held in a bank account at Permanent TSB in Ennis, Co Clare.
Ms Rodino from Cathedral Avenue, Hempstead, New York claims the money in the Ennis bank account, approximately $2M which was converted into Euro, is hers. She claims that it was moved by Mr Queally from a joint account held in the US in both their names.
Seeking the orders Ross Gorman Bl for Ms Rodino said his client was a vulnerable woman who had been taken advantage of by Mr Queally.
Several years ago she inherited wealth in the form of a significant property portfolio in New York following the death of her father.
Last August, in order to aid Mr Queally in a court case against a former employer, she agreed to put his name down on one of her bank accounts. It was a deposit account that contained US$5M.
Mr Queally asked her to do this because it would show that he and Ms Rodino were a couple and that the work he did on her properties was due to their relationship, and was not a contract of employment, counsel said.
Last October Mr Queally was due to meet up with Ms Rodino in Spain, but never showed up. When she arrived back in the US she discovered that money had been transferred to the bank in Ennis and to a US bank account.
Counsel said that his client did not know exactly where Mr Queally is at present…
The old “let’s get married” bait and switch — the golden trick for any aspiring gigolo. Mr. Queally is obviously a rogue, and ought to be punished for defrauding the woman, but if we heard the entire story she wouldn’t come out too clean herself, I’d wager. Queally probably figured she owed him that much for romancing her (he might be about right — it comes out to a million a year for the stud service), and he wouldn’t get it any other way, so might as well…
I expect a lot more of these stories in coming years. During the Victorian era, when young “gentlemen” were often desperate and completely broke, romancing wealthy widows was a popular means of securing some funds to survive. This is the origin of the prenuptial agreement. It was not, as many might assume, devised to protect men, but rather women (of course), because back in those days men gained control over family finances. Today, women are given more control than they had in the old days, which only guarantees that more men will resort to subterfuge to rip them off, and what better target than a middle aged or older heiress or divorcée?