South Carolina Father’s Baby Adopted Out From Under Him

by W.F. Price on December 4, 2012

Terry Achane, a South Carolina man who works as a drill instructor, found himself fighting for custody against Jared and Kristi Frei, a Utah couple who adopted his daughter from his ex-wife Tira. Terry was still married to Tira when she decided to give the girl up to adoption to the Freis, but he wasn’t in on the deal, because as a military man he was deployed when the adoption occurred, and his wife neglected to tell him about it.

Tira said she knew the marriage wouldn’t last, and offloaded the girl to avoid becoming a single mother.

Kristi Frei, who already had five children of her own, started adopting in 2009 following infertility caused by endometriosis. The first child she adopted was a black baby boy named James, and she decided to provide James with a similar-looking sibling, choosing the lively little girl who happens to be Mr. Achane’s daughter. When Mr. Achane tried to seek the return of his daughter (from marriage, mind you) the Freis contested, saying the baby was better off with them. They are arguing that having spent $25,000 each for the two babies, they should be entitled to keep her.

It’s tempting to lash out at the Freis for this, but it’s also pretty clear that they truly care about this girl, so it isn’t such a simple matter. In their minds, what they are doing seems reasonable — love for children has a potent effect. But it actually is a terrible, awful thing they are doing, and it must stop now, for the sake not only of the little girl and her father but their eternal souls as well (they are religious people).

It seems one of their biggest mistakes was believing Tira, who gave everyone a sob story about how her husband left her without anything. Absolute garbage. A military wife can obtain a temporary separation order and an instant child support garnishment plus military benefits even while her husband is deployed. The only thing she can’t do is get a permanent custody order. In this case, it’s clear that Tira didn’t want to take care of the girl, but she didn’t want to pay child support either, so she invented a hard times song and dance and sold her off to the Utah couple.

If Terry Achane only wanted to avoid child support, he’d be entirely off the hook with the adoption. That he actually wanted to be a father may have surprised a few people, including his ex-wife, but it isn’t for personal gain in this case. Not at all. He won’t collect much from Tira — that’s clear. He simply wants to be a father to his daughter, and there’s nothing strange about that.

For readers who care about this, I’d recommend writing to Jared Frei and appealing to him as a father to gracefully accept the disappointment. I think it’s an important cause, and hopefully he will listen. Don’t insult or condemn the Freis, but firmly let them know that this matter is best settled through acceptance of the law, which is fortunately on Mr. Achane’s side.

I like to think that men of goodwill can settle these matters between each other. Because Terry Achane cares about his daughter, I think he will forgive the Freis, and maybe he can even develop a positive relationship with the family, especially if Jared Frei can assert some moral leadership in his family and do the right thing.

Email Jared Frei here. Be compassionate, because a child is involved, and it’s best for her and her father if they can come out of this with the least amount of bitterness.

Yes, this is the kind of thing that can drive a father crazy, but sometimes we have to have a light touch around the kids.

{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }

Ethical December 4, 2012 at 17:33

What an absolute nightmare for the biological father. It’s insane that a HUSBAND could lose his own child like this.

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Eric December 4, 2012 at 17:56

Semi-not -really Off Topic. Just clicking around the tube and saw a Law&Order SVU episode that is such blatant anti father’s rights propaganda that it made me, a single guy in his early 30s with no drive to become a father, want to puke.
Since I know the creator of this site is a father himself with a divorce dispute horror story that drove him to contributing to this movement, I thought this the best place to bring attention to the propaganda being beamed to eyeballs around the continent and maybe provide the opportunity for a rebuttal to this devious filth.
http://allthingslawandorder.blogspot.com/2009/01/law-order-svu-stranger-not-strange-at.html

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freebird December 4, 2012 at 18:14

Utah:Where the Mormon judges respect God’s law better than the “Christian” judges through ought the Nation.
If this had been a feminist judge he would have lost hands down.
A clear contrast between Godly law and law that serves the feminist imperative.

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freebird December 4, 2012 at 18:25

Here’s what the Judge had to say:
“The right of a fit, competent parent to raise the parent’s child without undue government interference is a fundamental liberty interest that has long been protected by the laws and constitution of this state of the United States, and is a fundamental public policy of this state..”

Read and weep demon feminist.Read and weep.
To finish destroying men’s rights they need to destroy the institution of marriage,and they are making great headway into that.
Not that I would recommended marrying,due to the Unconstitutional and UnGodly laws arrayed against men in this UnGodly cuntry.
Feminism=satanism.
Plain and simple.

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Troll King December 4, 2012 at 18:32

Doh, that is the same link that you posted WF Price. Disregard.

This part of the article just blows my mind [emphasis mine]:

Kept in the dark throughout this with months of being unable to reach his wife, Mr Achane asked a friend to visit her home in Texas who reported that the house appeared vacant.

Feverishly calling anyone who may know where his wife could be, while fearing she may have carried out the abortion she once threatened to do, he learned from a family doctor that his wife was no longer pregnant but they could not legally disclose what had happened to the baby.

An ounce of relief only came to the horrified man when his wife finally called him in June, telling him she had signed away their baby to the Frei family.

‘I believe she felt guilty at that point because she just made a call out of the blue,’ he said of his ex-wife’s phone call.

Once he learned of his daughter’s fate, he immediately tried to track his little girl down but upon contact with the adoption center they refused to disclose any information on her whereabouts.

The agency told the court in October that it was standard procedure to not share any information with a father of a potential adoptive child when asked.

Missing: The baby’s mother admitted to giving the adoption agency an incorrect address for her husband to use as contact, preventing him from finding out about his little girl’s whereabouts for months

‘I am not a very religious person,’ Mr Achane has since told the Tribune, ‘but thou shalt not steal.’

Speaking of the drawn out legal battle, he said: ‘If they prolong it, that is more time away from my daughter. There are precious moments I can’t get back. … It has been a year and a half now. There is no court order saying they have the right to my child. I just won the case. I want to get my daughter and raise my daughter,’ he said.

Judge Darold McDade berated the Adoption Center of Choice’s handling as ‘utterly indefensible.’

‘This is a case of human trafficking,’ Mr Achane’s attorney Mark Wiser told the Tribune.

‘Children are being bought and sold. It is one thing what [adoption agencies] have been doing with unmarried biological fathers. It is in a new area when they are trying to take a child away from a married father who wants to have his child.’

‘It has been a year and a half now. There is no court order saying they have the right to my child. I just won the case. I want to get my daughter and raise my daughter’

- Terry Achane

When an attorney for the Frei family contacted Mr Achane, asking him to consent to the adoption, he said no and demanded his little girl returned to him – to the Frei family’s complete surprise.

‘Over the last 19 months, despite the law requiring that a father show interest in his child and at least attempt regular communication to establish a bond, the father has never shown any interest in Leah other than to hire an attorney,’ the family writes in their blog.

Despite a judge’s order to return the child within 60 days, the family now asks that his parental rights granting him custody of her be terminated.

They accuse him of abandoning both the mother and baby during her pregnancy and therefore demonstrating no capability for raising the girl.

‘The right of a fit, competent parent to raise the parent’s child without undue government interference is a fundamental liberty interest that has long been protected by the laws and constitution of this state of the United States, and is a fundamental public policy of this state,’ said Judge McDade

Damn.

So, if you get a woman pregnant and are not married to her then you have absolutely no rights if she decides to pawn the child to another family.

If you are married to the woman you get pregnant, he really needs a paternity test done which will probably happen if it is prolonged, and she decides that she is bored and want’s a frivorce then you have no rights if she decides to pawn your child to another family.

Also, apparently women are now like dogs. Once abandoned you lose custody of them and their puppies. WTF? She is a grown ass woman, why the hell should this liberated and empowered woman claim abandonement? On top of that, he was deployed serving his fucking country when this slag of a bitch decided she was unhaaapy and exercised her rights, which he was freakin defending, to frivorce him and pawn his frackin daughter.

I swear to god. THis is depressing. Dogs are held in higher esteem in America than men.

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Troll King December 4, 2012 at 18:48

Well, well. It is amazing what the internet turns up.

http://www.bustedmugshots.com/texas/austin/tira-bland/42141472

Just a few clicks of a mouse and it becomes obvious that miss Tira Bland, AKA Charnell Tira Bland (facebook), is a typical western female sub species known as attentionius Whoreias.

http://www.starnow.com/tirabland

We have to look at the amazing poise and grace of this soon to be starlette:

I am a hairstyles and I reside on the biggest military base here in Killen Tx. my husband is military and I am a star because I love to change my hair and I have always been best dressed since elementary…please check my status!!!!:)

http://www.facebook.com/charnelltira.bland#!/charnelltira.bland/photos_stream

Someone who, like me, isn’t on a public computer might want to take some screen caps of her facebook page. It looks like she was more than likely cheating on her hubby, what with attention whoring on all sorts of social media, while deployed by the looks of some of her photoes.

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MRA December 4, 2012 at 19:28

This is very common, fathersandfamilies has countless of these cases, also Texas has a law making the father able to reclaim the baby withing 60 days, as men are very ignorant regarding their paternity rights men let the days pass.Then the child grow up believing his father did not want him/her, many times the father does not know the women was pregnant.

Adoption agencies are braking the law doing this BUT, is the mother’s will, many unmarried fathers have it worst, because they do not have a legal right over their children, many women give birth and declare herself as single mom, when she puts the baby up for adoption there is not one to contact, BUT when married couples the agencies still give the child for adoption without contacting the father.

We must stop the War On Women

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geographybeefinalisthimself December 4, 2012 at 19:35

Can women like Tira stoop any lower?

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greyghost December 4, 2012 at 19:46

Jared and Kristi Frei seriously need to file a suite and a half against the Utah state adoption agency for pully off this fraud on that couple. They knew the whole story about that woman that brought that child in. If they didn’t it was an act of intentional ignorance. every child has a mother and father reguardless of what any woman says and that is what needs to be checked out. They didn’t even look as a matter of routine or as i think deliberately not looked as a matter of routine as in knowing full well the father ins in the picture put just ignoring him and collecting the money with the “sale” of the child. And you get to keep your man bad women good idiology in the deal.

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Chris December 4, 2012 at 20:01

The Freis are not to blame here, nor is Terri. It is the state, who accepted this child for adoption simply because the woman was separating. and while her husband was on deployment.

If the young child is OK, I would leave her there and support the Freis. It will be very hard, but changing the child’s life is less of an issue. Being adopted is not a disaster, and I have had to support people raising relatives when they lived in another country and things fell apart there — It is keeping things stable for the kid that matters.

It is not about justice now, It is about damange limiation. This is going to hurt three people who love this child, but getting the child into the best situation is what is needed.

(and yes, I know the cost of this. Emotionally. Got THAT T-shirt).

Te divorce, however, was moral cowardice. Perhaps wives need to be under the UCMJ: asking husbands to be accountable for them is grossly unjust given the total lack of morality among civilians.

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El Bastardo December 4, 2012 at 21:53

Your plea idea to the Freis is an awesome one Price. I hope they listen; and I hope the courts view the mother with the scorn she deserves. With my expereiences in family court though I won’t hold m breath. Also, if anyone here reads fathers and families, you know about Utah adoption services. They are professional kidnappers; and are very well entrenched in the legal system there.

How many more fathers must fight that state up to the US Supreme Court is anyone’s guess. Sadly, with four more years of Obama, this soldier screwed under the President’s watch is likely to face a largely feminist set of Supreme Court justices by the time he gets there. I seriously doubt he will win; however, Soto-Mayor has ruled opposite what I expected her to in a few cases.

Nothing I would want to rely on as a NCP though!

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Somnolent December 4, 2012 at 22:05

With such pervasive ill-treatment and so much contempt for men, its no wonder their reproductivity, their fertility and their sperm counts are falling.

… By a wopping 33% in even france, the home nation of romance and leisure.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-20593467

French sperm count ‘falls by a third’
By Anna-Marie Lever
Health reporter, BBC News

The sperm count of French men fell by a third between 1989 and 2005, a study suggests.

The semen of more than 26,600 French men was tested in the study, reported in the journal Human Reproduction.

The number of millions of spermatozoa per millilitre fell by 32.3%, a rate of about 1.9% a year. And the percentage of normally shaped sperm fell by 33.4%.


One of the paper’s authors, Dr Joelle Le Moal, an environmental health epidemiologist, said: “To our knowledge, this is the first study concluding a severe and general decrease in sperm concentration and morphology at the scale of a whole country over a substantial period.

“This constitutes a serious public health warning.”

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Michael December 4, 2012 at 22:16

Well, one expects this to make at least as many waves as the shooting of Trayvon Martin. Shouldn’t President Obama take issue with the vile snatching of a black baby by those blessed with white privilege? Or does institutional misandry trump even the racial angle?

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greyghost December 5, 2012 at 02:28

feminism and the misandry that comes with it trumps the constitution and human life.

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cooterbee December 5, 2012 at 04:04

@Chris
“The Freis are not to blame here, nor is Terri. It is the state, who accepted this child for adoption simply because the woman was separating. and while her husband was on deployment.”

The Freis are to blame. The moment they became aware of the situation and decided to resist returning the child, they became complicit in a kidnapping.

It is not about justice now, It is about damange limiation. This is going to hurt three people who love this child, but getting the child into the best situation is what is needed.,

Justice IS damage mitigation. Without justice the capacity to do harm is unlimited. How far can you take that reasoning? If a pedophile abducted that same baby tonight, should his claim that he “loved” her more than the others be sufficient to exonerate him?

If you’ve seen my comments before you know I am no fan of the family or the conventional concepts of fatherhood but kidnapping is kidnapping. You cannot excuse. You cannot equivocate, without fully embracing evil in it’s most vicious form.

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freebird December 5, 2012 at 06:11

It’s true,there is no statement from the White House “She could have been a daughter of mine.”

Or even a “God bless the fighting men of this Nation.”

Udder silence.
See what I did there?

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brigadon December 5, 2012 at 08:34

I disagree with cooterbee on a lot of stuff, but on this I totally support his decision. Justice is justice, a set concept. It cannot be ‘tempered with mercy’ and remain justice. In this case, the true father of the child has been handed a big, steaming pile of injustice, and even as a member of the Utah Nation I am utterly disgusted by this family’s complicity in this human trafficking by continuing to keep the child. Yet another vomitous injustice committed in the name of ‘protecting’ the children, one of the greatest sources of atrocity ever committed. The only difference is that few choose to see it, since each atrocity is retail instead of wholesale.

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JFP December 5, 2012 at 10:57

Chris: “The Freis are not to blame here, nor is Terri. It is the state, who accepted this child for adoption simply because the woman was separating. and while her husband was on deployment.”

Hogwash, utter hogwash. Yes, the state is at fault but who started this whole nightmare? The birth mother, then the adoption agency and then the adoptive parents.

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G December 5, 2012 at 14:34

Funny how the Frei’s blog claims that the husband left the mother with no money and didn’t tell her where he was going. The so called christians are outright lying to get people to donate.

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Bob Smith December 5, 2012 at 20:41

“Can women like Tira stoop any lower?”

Yes. She could have dropped the baby off anonymously at any hospital or shelter, no questions asked. Then he’d have no chance at all for custody.

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Kd December 10, 2012 at 00:30

The Frieis family is behaving selfishly and behaving as though they are Saviors to Mr Archane’s daughter. They already have five children and now they want to steal his only child. If this were thd case of a white woman knowingly allowing aBlack family adopt her child without the knowledge of her White military husband,there would be such an outrage against the Black adoptive family and thd wife!Yet,in this casd because the biological father is Black and the adoptive family is white,this case is being dragged on through
the judicial system after a judge ordered the family to return his child.This lo

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