Learning to Let Her Go

by W.F. Price on December 3, 2012

One of the most disruptive effects of the sexual revolution has been the annihilation of the old order concerning relationships, marriage in particular. A necessary part of the drive for sexual liberation was the destruction of the social bonds that tie men and women together. Without destroying these bonds, sexual anarchy could not be achieved, and sexual anarchy was exactly the goal.

Although anarchy has negative connotations for many people, it is a utopian ideal. Anarchy is the political expression of the desire to do whatever one pleases. This is an impossibility in the rational, physical world, but it remains paramount in the realm of human desire. Rather than disparage anarchists, it might do us good to recognize that to some extent we are all subject to the same fantasies. Who wouldn’t like to have unlimited choice and ability? It’s entirely natural to dream about this kind of power, and these dreams animate our efforts, driving human achievement ever farther.

Men express their desire in one way, and women another. We men tend to value achievements such as the moon shot, the harnessing of nuclear power, and flight. These are glorious things that transcend generations. Men exult in the freedom from our base, earthbound origin. When my son first lifted off the ground in a jet, his face lit up like the sun above the clouds — he grinned ear to ear and laughed that pleasant sort of laugh of unadulterated delight.

Women have different priorities, and we men would do well to take them into consideration. Where a man may be motivated by a desire to be free from physical constraints such as gravity, women desire to be free from social constraints, which limit women as much as our physical constraints limit us men. Women despise judgment, criticism and the strictures of relationships as much as we men despise our physical limitations. Just as men worship those among us who can defy the limits of human ability, women look up to those who can test the limits of social convention.

To women, Madonna is a hero on par with Neil Armstrong. Elizabeth Taylor ranks up there with Michael Jordan. These are women who gave the finger to convention and still won. They are true heroes from a feminine perspective. The men may have defied gravity, but the women defied society.

So what I’d suggest to men today is that we give women what they want. Relinquish any ideas of authority over them, and let them test the limits like Chuck Yeager. Sure, it’s frustrating for men, who instinctively want to protect women, but given current reality we have no other choice. Women have great expectations. They want to be married and they want to be courted. Sometimes they want the simple life; sometimes they want opulence. On some days they want to wear a white dress, on others the red one. We can’t really know them individually unless we allow them to have their freedom along those lines. They have to be given the opportunity to make their choice.

The PUAs have picked up on this and accepted it. These are men who have given up on trying to herd women. They accept them for what they are, and take them or leave them according to their preference. They don’t fight women’s nature, but rather present them with a choice — an “opening” in their lingo. To women, choices are options, and options are opportunities. The most successful PUAs of all are those who can give women the impression that they are providing them with yet more opportunity. A woman will always hate a man she sees as limiting her opportunities, so what good can come of being that man?

It may be distressing to traditionally minded men, but if you want a traditional woman giving women choice affords you a unique opportunity to separate the wheat from the chaff. If she truly wants that lifestyle, you’ll know by her behavior, because she has every opportunity to reject it. If she does reject it, take it for what it is. Don’t fight it, and be happy that today you are entirely blameless, because you let her choose.

I’d like to encourage men to let go of their guilt. If a woman isn’t happy, don’t find the fault in yourself — let her make her choice and find her happiness herself. You have precious little influence. You are not responsible for her happiness — she is free to go seek it out in the city, on the street corner, in the tavern, or wherever she pleases, and you have no agency there.

For men, this is a difficult step to take, but it is profoundly liberating. Now we can choose women according to choices they’ve made according to their own free will. Feminists may deny that women have agency, but we only need grant them that agency and unfettered freedom to defuse such charges. Let them walk the streets alone, wear what they please, and accept the consequences. It is their choice — their responsibility. We can only free women by rejecting our obligations to them. They can only be happy so long as we let them deal with the consequences of their own actions, just as we’d expect them to allow us to climb mountains, fly hang gliders, ride motorcycles or whatever our dreams may be without nagging and interference.

If you are a man in a relationship with a woman who says she isn’t happy, let her go. Turn her loose on the world. Open the cage and let her fly away if she so chooses; you can only decide whether or not to shut the window behind her. If you don’t let her go, you’ll never really know what kind of woman she is, and you’ll bear some responsibility if things go wrong. If you give her every open opportunity, it doesn’t mean you have to change your own standards, but rather that you can fulfill them, for what man wants to be with a sullen woman who will resort to betrayal and lies to defy his will? What a terrible embarrassment… There’s no honor in failing at keeping your woman, but if you don’t keep her in the first place there’s no disgrace in whatever she chooses to do.

So let her go. Don’t fight her instincts. Don’t even try to accommodate them. Just be yourself, and if she isn’t happy, don’t let it be your problem.

Let her go. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself.

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Uncle Elmer December 3, 2012 at 08:19

Problem is you may be liable for the consequences of her quest for fulfillment.

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friendofthe court December 3, 2012 at 08:32

Absolutely,but FIRST to free men of the presumption of guilt and the restoration of 4th Amendment rights.

Not to mention all those cash and prizes.
Marriage is a trap for two,but right now only the women get to break free of it’s obligations.
Bros before hoes.

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Poiuyt December 3, 2012 at 08:35

The problem of permitting freedom of females to choose, is not found at the level of the male-female relationship alone. The problem is found at the level of a males’ triangulation by State and female, to ritually make him the impliment, tool, involuntary stooge and lever responsible for the females choices.

It’s important to emphasise this pervasive and all enccumbering bind of the triangulated male in genderist dystopias. All freedoms, all choices, all perogatives, all sufferage, all franchise, all ownership and all decisions are appropriated to the female by the States triangulating the male. And to a sovereign and adult male, this aspect is what is not acceptable.

If the male is forcibly made responsible for anything the female chooses, whilst being simultaneously disauthorised, disenfranchised and delegitimised in everything … where does he go except down ?

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Bill December 3, 2012 at 08:42

Plenty of men in the pua (pick up artist) community know about roosh v, but for those of you who don’t it would we great for you to look him up. He has traveled all over the world banging hot women whereever he goes and written about his travels. There are a lot of techniques that most guys could use and several really intresting stories.
Anyway this article hits home to me. I had a gf a long time ago who loved lady gaga. Most little girls liked her because she said fuck you to whoever she wanted and just did whatever. Singers like Kesha and Madonna also fit the mold. They say I can sleep with whoever I want and I will be happy(a secrect desire for most women). Women want to just sleep around and “enjoy life”. What they don’t realize is when they degrade themselves to simply a sex toy for an alpha they simply can’t become a reasonable mate for a beta. Guys are tired of being number two and finally are taking advantage of the situation. I remember the first time I tried picking up a girl and how frustrating it was to get rejected. What roosh and other guys have taught me is that I simply have to brush it off and simply let women CHOOSE who they want. If they don’t want to sleep with me, they have no value to me so who cares what happens to them. I am not going to give them respect for simply being a women. If they want respect they need to earn it like men have to. I have learned that women do want choices and if they think you will somehow hurt those or limit theses choices then they don’t want you. The great thing about being a pua is that it teaches women are disposable. What this does is reconstruct the natural thinking that women are special and turn the tables on evolution. Make the women disposable not the guy (or worse case senecio we both become disposable, but when guys are in short demand, we become the asset not women).
I have been lucky enough to travel because of work and can honestly say that I am happy. If I want to love a women I can have a girlfriend but if I don’t I can simply pick up girls and pump and dump. It might take a while for most traditional guys (I was very traditional before) but when you finally get in your head that the world has changed and we have to do, you will be much better off trust me. I don’t have to worry about anyone other than myself and can simply just enjoy life with whoever I want.
The only sad part is that their are still some very good traditional women who haven’t been wrecked by feminist bull who would be great wives, but since the majority have turned into whores, it make it hard to tell which one a girl is. I had a friend who has been married twice. The first was a very traditional girl (or so he thought ) that was his first marriage . He thought she would be the perfect mother but turned into a man hater with a few years of his marriage and them divorced him and took half his stuff (he had inherited his fathers company before the marriage and had been dim enough not to sign a prenup. Anyway he sold the company to pay off the amount he “owed her”. Don’t get me wrong he still was wealthy but the family business he had owned was no longer I the family. He then got married a few years ago to a beautiful colombian women who was very traditional ( they both live in Colombia now) and he reinvested in several companies in the area and has become much wealthier than he ever could have been with his previous family business. Anyway I say this because there are some women that truely beautiful traditional women but the number is getting smaller day by day and it will most likely not change anytime soon. My advice to traditional guys it to marry a Latin women. Sign a prenup an make sure it is bullet proof. Most Latin women (Colombian in particular) will stick with the guys no matter what because of religion and cultural reasons (most divorced women are not worthy anything som women try their best to do whatever it are to make a relationship work). Back to my point the world is changing and guys have to adjust. If women want to be liberated and free or whatever, let the,. Don’t lift them up to be something great, make them disposable not yourself. And you guys who want traditional women who will not turn on you, start learning Spanish or Portuguese quickly because there most likely will be a shortage of traditional women in the future.

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Scipio Africanus December 3, 2012 at 08:48

But all of this expects women to be held accountable for their actions. That’s not what the feminists want. They want that safety net to remain.

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coronation53 December 3, 2012 at 08:50

I agree with just about everything in this article. I have let individual women go several times now, often with some amount of heartbreak. In many cases, they went on to very different lives after experience with me.

The old adage “let them go free” is correct. If you need to cling on to a person, the problem is with you as much as with them. It is often due to a lack of confidence in themselves that many men and women stay in relationships that they have outgrown.

The only problem here is that you say, quite correctly: “They (women) want to be married and they want to be courted. Sometimes they want the simple life; sometimes they want opulence.” This is true, but if a man is involved with them during these times of attitudinal change, what happens to him?

Well, we see every day that when an attitude is suddenly changed and the man has been working to achieve a certain end, he gets the shaft just about every single time.

He’s left with the monster home…he’s left for another guy…he’s left paying off the loans and debts…he’s left on his own in every way. He pays for the cleanup of the relationship in almost every case that I have seen in almost sixty years.

Until it is truly a level playing field, and everyone involved takes the “hit” from the sudden change of focus, many of us will refuse to play at all.

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W.F. Price December 3, 2012 at 08:58

Problem is you may be liable for the consequences of her quest for fulfillment.

-Uncle Elmer

Too true, but the harder you fight it the more you’ll pay. I should work on my “Taoist Divorce Tactics” as a follow up to this post.

keyster December 3, 2012 at 09:01

A woman will always hate a man she sees as limiting her opportunities, so what good can come of being that man?

A woman who is allowed to do whatever she wants, will suspect the man of not caring enough about her to control her. If he doesn’t even try to make her happy, he must not love her. It’s a constant battle that has vexed men for ages. She either leaves you because you’re “too controlling” or “opinionated”…or she leaves you because you seem apathetic towards her activities and decisions. Men never win this. They just have to constantly manage her expectations based on her whimsy of the moment.

As a political analogy look at the “Fiscal Cliff” situation. The President and Democrats want to raise taxes and keep spending frivolously. If the Republicans say “no” they lose. If they let Democrats (Party of Women) do whatever they want (or stop being the Obstructionist Party of NO), Entitlement programs will collapse, and the interest alone on our debt will exceed our GDP by 2020.

Men are the minority party in any relationship, with little power or influence to stop women from doing whatever they want…yet they need men around to try and stop them when things don’t work out…as in “You didn’t try hard enough to stop me!” OR you only made it worse by trying to “limit” me.

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meistergedanken December 3, 2012 at 09:04

“The men may have defied gravity, but the women defied society.”

Pretty ironic, given that gravity proves to be women’s greatest enemy as they age.

“Women despise judgment, criticism and the strictures of relationships as much as we men despise our physical limitations. ”

More irony, as women are far more likely to be: judgemental, critical and insistent on the sort of strictures that define a committed relationship.

I always get suspicious when I hear people yearn to “be free”. What they typically mean is not having to face the consequences of their actions. Women need to learn that actions have consequences, and bad choices result in bad outcomes. Furthermore, for good outcomes to be achieved, a certain amount of planning and hard work is typically required – even if that hard work is only exercising sufficient self-restraint so that they don’t get fat and compromise their sexual market value. The sickness of Western culture is thus typified by Disney and magical thinking. Last year I heard my six year old niece say to my wife: “if you wish for something hard enough, it will come true!” Think about the latent narcissism implicent in that declaration, and despair.

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Uncle Elmer December 3, 2012 at 09:08

“I should work on my “Taoist Divorce Tactics” as a follow up to this post.”

————-

Someone already wrote it :

http://www.amazon.com/Screw-Bitch-Divorce-Tactics-Men/dp/1559500697

On surveying the memescape, I think the time is ripe for a book titled The Power of Betas. Oprah, Dr. Phil would be all over it.

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Anon7 December 3, 2012 at 09:30

Splendid essay. In particular:

“Where a man may be motivated by a desire to be free from physical constraints such as gravity, women desire to be free from social constraints, which limit women as much as our physical constraints limit us men. Women despise judgment, criticism and the strictures of relationships as much as we men despise our physical limitations. Just as men worship those among us who can defy the limits of human ability, women look up to those who can test the limits of social convention.”

The way I had always phrased that myself is that men test themselves on physical and practical intellectual matters, whereas women test themselves emotionally. But I think what you’re saying is closer. When a woman puts on a man’s job (the clothing, the attitude, the degree, the social status), they do it to test if they can still be true to their feminine self, like a woman who still looks sexy wearing a man’s shirt. I’ve had professional women say as much to me, that they feel like they are just pretending to be lawyers or engineers, just playing dress-up. Demanding that men take them seriously is part of the game.

Unfortunately, by allowing women to have half (or more) of the training resources for essential jobs in medicine, engineering, law, government, and so forth, we’ve cut our real capacity for excellence and innovation in half. The female half of the workforce is more interested in how they look doing it than getting it done right, and I really believe that this is one of the main problems holding our economy back.

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JudgyBitch December 3, 2012 at 09:33

It’s true that you can’t MAKE someone happy. You can’t. They are or they aren’t. But there’s another truth that ONLY by making others happy can you yourself be happy.

That’s the essence of being a great wife and mother, I think. You understand that the happiness of your family is what will make YOU happy.

But that’s not the story most women hear anymore: the only thing that will make you happy is money, stuff, kids you never see, shitty food and an ass that gets bigger every day. And guess what? Those things make women miserable.

Younger women are starting to understand the value of the breadwinner/homemaker model, but they have yet to grasp that such a privilege comes with a huge set of responsibilities.

It’s coming. Time for women to step up to the plate and start speaking out and educating other women.

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Uncle Elmer December 3, 2012 at 11:01

“Time for women to step up to the plate and start speaking out and educating other women.”

Direct them to “A Man Wants a Wife, Not a Co-Worker”.

http://www.the-spearhead.com/2012/02/20/a-man-wants-a-wife-not-a-co-worker

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Antifeminist One December 3, 2012 at 15:24

Sorry Mr Price, but I must disagree here.

I think the fundamental fallacy is listening to what women -say- they want, rather than what they really want. Gender Studies classes would be so much more realistic if 50 Shades was the official textbook.

What age do you intend to let a woman ‘go’ in order to separate the wheat from the chaff? Parents should raise their daughters in a loving, stable environment. But a well-raised girl is far less likely to exhibit the problems you see with sexual anarchy.

To me, letting women go is ultimately no different than letting children go for the same reason. Or buying a potentially dangerous dog and instead of raising it with discipline and correct social order, just letting it go and doing what it wants.

That’s if you have any interest in saving society. Which by extension, is the saviour for humanity. If, on the other hand, you just want to say fuckit and let nature run its course, there’s a great answer to ‘shit tests’ according to Roissyan game theory which is to Agree and Amplify. She wants to be free? Open the door. Then go bang her friends or something.

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W.F. Price December 3, 2012 at 15:48

What age do you intend to let a woman ‘go’ in order to separate the wheat from the chaff? Parents should raise their daughters in a loving, stable environment. But a well-raised girl is far less likely to exhibit the problems you see with sexual anarchy.

To me, letting women go is ultimately no different than letting children go for the same reason. Or buying a potentially dangerous dog and instead of raising it with discipline and correct social order, just letting it go and doing what it wants.

-Antifeminist One

As I see it, what we should do and what we can do are entirely separate matters. I do what I can for my children, and others I care about. Maybe it would be better for women if we could prevent them from acting out, just as it would probably be better for thousands of American parents if they had stopped their sons from enlisting in the US military and prevented their deaths in wars to bring feminism to Muslims, but they couldn’t do so.

The fact is that under the current regime we cannot stop women from acting as they please, and trying to do so usually results in failure. It isn’t about what we should do, but what we can do.

It’s time that we dropped this pretense of power and agency. Men hate to think they have no power over a situation, but sometimes that’s just the way it is. If you defy it, you get your head broken. People have a very simplistic interpretation of the Biblical concept of turning the other cheek, going the extra mile and giving up your shirt, and think it is simply about some petty moral one-upsmanship, but it can have great utility. Sometimes, you just have to step aside and let people grasp for what they want, and in doing so you hand the responsibility to a firmer law than your own, and perhaps finally they can learn a lesson that is not in your power to teach.

El Bastardo December 3, 2012 at 17:26

@W. Price

It’s time that we dropped this pretense of power and agency. Men hate to think they have no power over a situation, but sometimes that’s just the way it is. If you defy it, you get your head broken. People have a very simplistic interpretation of the Biblical concept of turning the other cheek, going the extra mile and giving up your shirt, and think it is simply about some petty moral one-upsmanship, but it can have great utility.

In my case, I have often thoght that rather than paying tens of thousands of dollars in court fees (I already have), I should just sign over my rights and walk away until my kid is 18. It is causing no end of heartache in my life now, and I am no better off now than sseveral years ago. She has moved overseas, and I have not been allowed to even contest it. Your thoughts? As I have been contempulating this, as I can no longer continue, the state holds all the poer and has sided with her. Basically should I stop calling, stop buying gifts, as I already see she just neglects him. I feel like I am my kids only defense; yet I lose everytime.

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sally1137 December 3, 2012 at 18:44

Hello there. I found your website through links on PJMedia and the Futurist web sites; links regarding the War on Men.

I’m not a real social person, so I don’t spend a lot of time with women friends now. In the past, I was a member of a Book Club where often the book discussion would degrade into men-bashing at the least provocation. I always left these occasions feeling likeI really wasn’t one of the girls. I didn’t fit in, and was uncomfortable calling myself a feminist, as I thought it was more restrictive and unfair than being an individualist.

That, and I really like men. They’re interesting and for the most part, fairly uncomplicated. If you ask a man, “What are you thinking?”and he says “Nothing,” chances are pretty good he’s telling the truth.

I had a brilliant example of a Non-Role Model for my college roommate. She was an entitled spoiled princess. But her boyfriend, a nice guy from down the hall, was really awesome. She had him wrapped around her little finger, and he went into some serious credit card hock to buy her whatever she wanted. He was pretty whipped, but we became friends.

Then he got a DUI. Pretty pretty princess dumped him. I, the not as pretty friend drove him to the grocery store and other errands all summer. He taught me to cook steaks. Still friends, until one night…after too much wine…well you know the story….

…and 32 years later, we’re still best friends and still occasionally get a little too much wine and a little nookie.

He’s learned to figure out the tangents of my logic. I’ve learned to pick my battles and not to be a bitch. And that drama isn’t nearly as much fun as I first thought. And that the NFL trumps ANYTHING else on TV.

Seriously, at age 51 I feel like Rip Van Winkle. I guess all these years while I was working my ass off helping The Patient Husband build a really awesome company, this feminazi thing took hold, along with the blacknazi and gaynazi movements. I didn’t subjugate myself to him, but I used my MBA, finance and organizational skills to help him enhance his computer genius. Ah, he’s awesome. And you geeks out there, believe me, there are women who think intelligent computer gurus are sexy.

I’m not sure, if I were 21 in 2012, that I would or could get married. If I may offer some advice from across the Great Divide, however, for you to use as you will…

1) Be friends first. If you can’t be friends, it’s gonna be a loooooong drive.
2) Meet her mother. If you don’t like her mother, don’t marry her. She will turn into her mother. (I should be so lucky…my mom is 92 and really cool.)
3) See how she looks without makeup. If she’s creepy about being seen without it, that means she’s vain, insecure or both.
4) She may be pretty now, but see #2. If her mother is aged well and looks good, that’s a good indicator. If she’s botoxed beyond Startled… well….just be warned.

God Bless, and know that some of us are on Your Side.

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Plythe December 3, 2012 at 19:28

@ Bill:

You so sure about Latin women?

Look up Maria Susana Flores Gamez.

She’s just one of many involved in the trend of Latina women gravitating toward drug traffickers, gang bangers, and other violent, rich alphas.

It’s all about the money and the status, amigo. No matter what part of the world she’s from.

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Michael December 3, 2012 at 19:42

El Bastardo:

As Master Yoda has put it so succinctly: “Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those around you who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.”

and:

“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

So I would say, do not be afraid for your child. His fate is out of your hands. Unfortunately the Sith reign the galaxy now, so you will have to bide your time until such a day when their arrogance brings them down.

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GoatT December 3, 2012 at 21:45

All women are free to leave me and find someone else who will put up with them.

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Skeptic December 3, 2012 at 23:18

I let go of the collective HER a long time ago.
Trouble is SHE (feminist governance) keeps hanging on for grim death trying to suck every last tax dollar she can out of me and other men.
So I left the west and went to a low tax country.

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migu December 4, 2012 at 05:42

Josie’s on a vacation far away, come on in let’s talk it over.

Hahahahahahahahah

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W.F. Price December 4, 2012 at 08:27

In my case, I have often thoght that rather than paying tens of thousands of dollars in court fees (I already have), I should just sign over my rights and walk away until my kid is 18. It is causing no end of heartache in my life now, and I am no better off now than sseveral years ago. She has moved overseas, and I have not been allowed to even contest it. Your thoughts? As I have been contempulating this, as I can no longer continue, the state holds all the poer and has sided with her. Basically should I stop calling, stop buying gifts, as I already see she just neglects him. I feel like I am my kids only defense; yet I lose everytime.

-El Bastardo

I can’t give you legal advice (I’m not a lawyer), but I can tell you what’s been helpful for me.

When I stopped fighting directly against the unfair process – banging my head against the wall so to speak – it got a lot easier. I learned the true meaning of turning the other cheek, which isn’t that you give up, but more that you don’t allow yourself to be dragged down to that level. You must be prepared to accept any outcome while still maintaining your principles. Also, don’t think money will necessarily help. Attorneys can’t do as much for you in family law as they often say. Their main function is handling the paperwork, which is admittedly very important. From what I’ve seen in family law courtrooms, pro se litigants don’t do so badly in front of the judge if they come prepared and organized.

Yes, the state holds the power, but as long as the kid is under 18 the case is open to review and changes where warranted. There’s no reason to give up unless that’s what you want to do, and you’d be at peace with that decision.

WomBats December 4, 2012 at 10:39

I have no problem letting them go. The last one I had to push away due to the crazy government making it insanely risky to go near her. Not my problem cupcake, this is what you wimmin wanted.

I figure if I’m not in a woman’s life women have no right to blame me for anything as a man. I’m so fed up with that now I want no part of it. I think that is ringing true for a number of men these days.

Let the white knights and mangina’s get chewed up as the pool available grows smaller and smaller. Each time more take the red pill or at least become aware of it. Just by opting out one accelerates the whole process. This has already started snowballing to a point where they are starting to notice.

Not that I care. I’m free the only way I can be in this twisted supposedly democratic cesspool. If other men want to be shredded thru the man mincer its not my fault. Ive spoken numerous times alerting them to the oncoming danger facing them here in Australia. If they don’t want to listen they learn the hard way. They’ll just take the red pill later and be more angry about the blue pill one they didn’t believe could possibly hurt them as unfairly as it has.

The system is geared to shred itself and is well through the process.

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El Bastardo December 4, 2012 at 22:12

@Price

I say the following for the benefit of others; not because I am a whiny little B.

I think you make my point well. I just don’t know. I have paid so much because I can’t file the paperwork myself. If it was in my hometown, even my state, that would be a different story. It is not, and the fact she got overseas is just asinine to me! They don’t even talk about it, just a ravenous obsession with my finances. They won’t rule on anything else until they see how much support they can make me pay. It is past a year now since I found out she left without telling me.

After that, they will most likely tell me they can’t do anything about her move. Then I am left with decision to decide if I want to take it to the next level; as she has denied my visitation several times; the court does not even give a reprimand. We all know this; just sucks when going through it.

If I went in there saying I wanted to sign over my rights and walk away; the cheap thrill of hearing a judge hypocritically tell me how important it is that I give attention to my child while refusing to guarantee I get that access will not offset the cost of losing my kid. I need a real judge who will see this for what it is; and make all parties, even if that includes me, pay like a real judge as third party would do. That judge does not exist in family court; if they did, the attorneys would not make their money. Just too much cash to be made to care about our nations families.

Makes me sad, and angry. Yet I have a clear head; but to walk from my kid is something I can’t force myself to do. It is not my child’s fault his mother is a *******-****, just mine for taking her word that she was on BC while we were together. Stupid me; so I guess I deserve all of this for thinking a woman who talked with me about something like that could be believed. I am no slouch either; I just did not recognize the manipulative nature she really possessed. Game theory and arrogance at your success in it does that. If only the military would have allowed me to get that Vasectomy! They turned me away for something they do routinely for woman no questions asked.

The sad thing is; she is going to get away with it. SO I look for ways to use the situation to bankrupt her. Any strategy I can find to turn the tide in my favor, away from the state and attorneys, and isolate her ego in my favor. The state cuts me off before I can at every turn. I now much of the laws that govern it; but I feel the attorneys are just manipulating both of us for more litigation as they have both of our wallets in tow.

It is a hard strategic position; one I sens they will bankrupt me before they give me a ruling. I sense this is their focus; so I can’t go up with appropriate cash and get a ruling against them; or at least something they will be forced to address. If the Appeals process would even look at my case if it does. Hard to say, will see what happens in the next court date. I have lost every time thus far by their refusal to give me a ruling. This time it is supposedly coming to a head; I am prepared, but as a man/father is that ever enough?

Thanks for the thoughtful response. I hope my story helps, and people can see one of the main reason I write. The other two are the other fathers I help locally in their process, and the hope that real change (however it comes) can happen. Not an idealist, just wishing on a prayer. I don’t have Anyone else at this point.

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Anonymous age 70 December 5, 2012 at 16:41

Great story, Sally. Good for you.

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