A Man’s Weakness Is His False Guilt

by Featured Guest on November 19, 2012

By Joe Zamboni

One of the major hurdles that American men must clear, before they can confidently speak up about all the injustice done against men and boys, is their false guilt. In a twisted form of machismo, many American men make believe that they don’t feel false guilt because they are, after all, a man. In this denial, they perpetuate a falsehood. In this denial, they disempower themselves. This brief article examines some perverse aspects of that false guilt.

It’s all around American men, in the movies, in books, in magazines, and in the mouths, or perhaps I should say coming out of the mouths, of so many women. I am talking about male put-downs with a twist to them, all in effect implying “you men have no right to complain.” We the American males are told that it is “a man’s world,” we are told that we benefit from the “old boys network,” we are told that we enjoy the many benefits of the “patriarchy.” Never mind the fact that all these are myths, what’s important is that so many of us men on some level suspect that these allegations might be true.

A man’s weakness is his turning away, his denial, his distancing from the very painful issues that he believes he cannot deal with. If these and related myths about alleged male superiority, male favoritism, male advantages, and the like, were to be confronted head on, with a dedication to openness and truth, they would soon be shown to be both phantoms and the manipulative illusions of bad-intentioned feminist windbags. Men are by nature forthright, logic-oriented, fact-based, practical, strong, protective, and courageous. All of these positive attributes can and will be of great usefulness when confronting and dispelling these phantoms and illusions.

Man’s real strength can be further released when he sees that his great weakness is his false guilt. By an honest and direct confrontation of how he has unnecessarily kept himself back, how he has bit his tongue, how he has felt unworthy to step into a position of receiving and being treated equally, by that confrontation will he stop denying his humanity. He is after all just as good as woman, and a full member of the human race. There is nothing inherently inferior about man in comparison to woman, just as there is nothing inherently inferior about woman in comparison to man. Each gender has its own areas of strength and weakness — whatever your judgments about those might be.

In the space of embracing his equality with woman, man can stop unconsciously trying to compensate for the alleged advantages that he enjoys. When man thinks that he has taken on a position of superiority or special advantage — and he has plenty of feminist-inspired indoctrination in modern America to adopt such a thought — then he will unconsciously attempt to right the alleged out-of-balance condition. Then he will consequently accept dangerous and low-status jobs that no self-respecting woman would perform, he will accept verbal abuse that no self-respecting woman would put up with, and he will likewise accept physical abuse at the hands of his mate that no self-respecting woman would permit. Thus the false guilt perversely encourages man not to speak up, not to stand in his truth, and not to seek either justice or balance.

Reconciliation with woman is not possible as long as the truth is not out in the open, is not embraced by both genders, and is not the starting point for moving in the direction of love, acceptance, mutual support, and harmonious coexistence on this planet. And there will be no pulling down of the mask that denies the false guilt if man believes that nothing good can come from it. Herein lies the challenge and apparent paradox: it is only through the embracing of our imperfections, our incompleteness, and our humanity in all its many forms, that we men can move to the next level of evolution in our relationships with women.

It is time for us men to go beyond righting the many specific wrongs that we experience (gender specific child support obligations, enslaving alimony judgments, false rape claims, etc.), it is time to step up to a position of leadership in gender relations. It is time for men to advocate a position of true equal treatment and mutual respect. Whatever women have, men should be able to have that too, and of course vice versa. For example, the default moral goodness so often attributed to women should not be granted to women alone, but should be given to men as well. The much ballyhooed and allegedly superior feminine characteristics such as being compassionate, should tempered with widespread public appreciation for positive male characteristics such as courage. Likewise, men should not be expected to carry the burden of the shadow in the human psyche. They should not for example be expected to automatically be the one at fault if there is domestic violence within a household.

So let’s together step into the space that there is nothing about which we men need to be ashamed, there is nothing about being male that is inferior, lacking, or in need of apology. From that starting point we can directly confront the oppressive mind games of the feminists and move into our rightful position of free and emancipated human beings.

{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }

Anon November 19, 2012 at 04:33

Damn it. Of course a man has committed no sin for merely being born a man.

And he has just as much social, sexual, moral and existential value to the universe as the much vaunted woman.

But men must themselves be the ones whom believe, advocate, protect and maintain their own worth and the general level of regard for their own gender. Nobody else will do this for men.

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Men: Discontinued November 19, 2012 at 04:36

Laws in family courts prevent us from doing so.

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Andie November 19, 2012 at 04:57

The heartbreaking thing is how early it starts. Little boys are trained from the moment they set foot in school to believe themselves to be inferior to girls. Their natural impulses are demonized and forbidden. Refusal to comply results in a “diagnosis” of a disorder and the poor little guys are drugged into submission.

I would homeschool my little guy if he were at all interested, but he loves the company of other children and other boys so much, I am left with the job of actively encouraging him to be a little boy and I constantly talk and make him aware of how his teachers are attempting to squelch him.

It’s so demoralizing to watch other boys who do not have parents actively trying to compensate for the guilt little boys are made to feel.

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cooterbee November 19, 2012 at 05:01

Shedding False Guilt would be an excellent start. Just to show how pernicious it is, the author, himself, fell into it. Both courage and compassion (as well as any other attribute that contributes to what is known as “character”) are predominantly male traits. I don’t know whether the author assigned “compassion” to females deliberately or inadvertently but by doing so he underscores his point. Men need to apologetically claim and manifest their own best characteristics if for no other reason than honesty.

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jay November 19, 2012 at 05:21

“It is time for men to advocate a position of true equal treatment and mutual respect.”

When has the genders ever have been equal? It is as futile as comparing apples with oranges. Equality in treatment is unfeasible because of the polarity of the sexes(excepting moral accountability)

Angry harry has a take on this:
http://www.angryharry.com/esEqualityNotAchievable.htm

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Rebel November 19, 2012 at 05:22

When men will have enough of this, they will pick themselves up and “correct” the situation in the way they have always done since the dawn of time. First they will fight the men who oppress them, then the women. The pressure cooker is just not hot enough.

But this may signal the end of “civilized” life as we know it: once started, I am not sure the fire can be extinguished.

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Pirran November 19, 2012 at 05:30

In other words, the next time a woman confronts you with “The Patriarchy” or (above all), “The Theory of Privilege”, counter with “Convenient theory, WHERE’S THE EVIDENCE” and point out the actualité of The Matriarchy and Female Privilege.

The aspect of Matt Dillahunty (and the on-line Atheist community in general) that always made me laugh was his ruthless dissection of any theory of religion combined with his guileless acceptance of the Theory of Privilege without any supporting evidence. Undoubtedly, his relationship with Bess Presswood and the “Skepchicks” (the least skeptical people on earth) undoubtedly had something to do with it, but the irony still stands out as an exemplar of male self-disembowelment. Swapping one form of belief system for another without a hitch.

These are exactly the sort of men Joe has alluded to. Men in theoretical positions of power and influence who have perversely dis-empowered (not to mention emasculated) themselves to appeal to their rad-fem cohort. Matt Dillahunty is now Beth Presswood’s concubine BY INTENT.

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oddsock November 19, 2012 at 05:50

Rebel

Exactly

Of course though , we can all still debate and discuss politics and cultural marxism and republicans and democrats and how our votes make a difference. Who knows maybe 50 /60 years or so something might actually change ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=akN_2kWZXnU#!

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djc November 19, 2012 at 06:52

Good luck with getting women to cooperate on anything. They were screaming like banshees at the Warren Farrell talk at the University of Toronto. Before a single word got out of his mouth.

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!!SPARTA!! November 19, 2012 at 06:53

It’s not P.C…even here…
But I don’t agree that men and women are “different, but equal”
My logical, rational mind leads me to the conclution that men are better than women in nearly every way.
It’s debateable, but let’s say, women are as smart as men
We’re “equal” there.
But men are bigger, stronger, faster than women
I’ve yet to see a single attribute or task where women are better than men. Simple math dictates that men are superior. Not equal.

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greyghost November 19, 2012 at 08:01

men and women are not equal. Men are far superior. The current society we have would only think that treating men like this for the purpose of living off of the superior ability of men. Only men are naturally civilized enough to even feel guilt and be used this way. Women have none of those characteristics. Civilized natural kindness of the beta male makes this madness possible. Beta males made the world we all live in and can exist with out all others yet are viewed with full contempt.
Those men need to be lied to at all cost. Andie’s comment is a tell.

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brigadon November 19, 2012 at 08:13

Women do not have to cooperate. The ‘enemies’ we are fighting are other men that have adopted the feminism standard.

Do you think that feminism could last even a single moment if it did not have MEN empowering it? ‘holding women up’? Without the support of both brainwashed and calculating men, feminism not only would collapse overnight, it would be laughed at the next morning.

Many feminists, especially the ones in power, KNOW that they are only in power on the sufferance of Men. That’s one of the things that drives them crazy.
MALE police enforcing MALE sponsored laws, put in place by MALE politicians.

Keep your eye on the ball. Know who your true enemy is. Most feminists are nothing more than hand puppets for powerful men.

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anoncoward November 19, 2012 at 08:20

It’s debateable, but let’s say, women are as smart as men
We’re “equal” there.
But men are bigger, stronger, faster than women
===========================================

The world doesn’t need ‘bigger, faster, stronger’. You think cities dont get built in S.E Asia where the average male is 5’4?

The smarter part is key because its inherent superiority.

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Migu November 19, 2012 at 08:39

I would homeschool my little guy if he were at all interested, but he loves the company of other children and other boys so much, I am left with the job of actively encouraging him to be a little boy and I constantly talk and make him aware of how his teachers are attempting to squelch him.

Good job on betraying your son. Way to go mom. Those teachers he is with all day will never turn him against. Good excuse though, it won’t make it through most peoples filters.

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Anonymous age 70 November 19, 2012 at 08:39

Over the 45 or 50 years of feminism, I have noted that almost every accusation directed toward men by feminists is actually true about women.

“Men have no compassion or empathy for women.” Oh, yes, they do. It is women who have no compassion or empathy for men, every time.

Every other feminist slogan, the same.

While men create protection systems for every part of the lives of dearies, women care not a whit what happens to men, even laughing at sexual mutilation of men by women.

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Aoefe November 19, 2012 at 08:48

“Reconciliation with woman is not possible as long as the truth is not out in the open, is not embraced by both genders, and is not the starting point for moving in the direction of love, acceptance, mutual support, and harmonious coexistence on this planet.”

Agree! Well written and speaks the truth.

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keyster November 19, 2012 at 08:49

The heartbreaking thing is how early it starts.

Right.
Feminist indocrination (and liberalism in general) starts at the pre-school level and continues through college. Reinforcement continues in the propaganda machine we call the main stream media.

You’re not even allowed to objectively criticize women (except here). If it’s not gratutious lauding and exhalting for being special in one way or another, it’s not discussed at all. Three generations of males have been well trained to keep there mouths shut or risk the rath of women around them, if not banishment altogether. And its only getting worse with each generation. He’s a well-heeled and compliant servant to thy holy goddess….”you better not make her mad!”

If you can’t change our biased education system and media – you can’t expect to influence the culture. You can try with blogs and YouTube videos (which is having limited effect), but you’re taking on something more powerful than air and water; that is – – man’s hopelessly intrepid defense of, and deep love for, the female of the species. When you’ve convinced men en masse to stop loving women as much as they do (or at least as much as women love them), you’ll have shifted the tides of “equality”. Until that time, the male is at a distinct disadvantage…and women are FULLY aware of this and use it to suit their needs and wants.

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Aoefe November 19, 2012 at 09:04

I should have read the comments before commenting and I would have added this:

I agree equality isn’t the goal – we’re different at levels far deeper than anatomy. However declaring gender superiority is not going to advance the cause of either side. Why does it need to be a win? How long can you hold a trophy, polish it, stare at it? It gets old fast I’d imagine. The aim is to recognize and value the difference no? Purely on biology alone women offer value – the human race wouldn’t advance without wombs. Babies that don’t receive nurture have neurological brain deficits that prevent the ability to have hope. (there’s science to back this up). Women are far more likely to be the ones to do this. Society today is fucked up – I won’t argue that it’s hard to find women that don’t want it all. I’m anti-feminist largely because I see what the agenda has done to women AND men. But…when you remove our current state of affairs you will see there is value in knowing the good of each gender without slamming the other. Being allies for each other in order to deconstruct what’s been done is the only way to change in my humble opinion.

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Andie November 19, 2012 at 09:07

@Migu

How am I betraying my son? By teaching him to be critical of the messages he gets at school? It’s not like I have the option of sending him to an all boy’s school with all male teachers. Where I live, single sex education is actually illegal.

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Grant November 19, 2012 at 09:56

I am long past the point of believing that this is a “man’s world,” or that there is any such thing as “male privilege.” To all the women who believe that, I would be happy to trade places with you any time! I would love to be a young, attractive woman in today’s society, and benefit from all of the advantages that come with it.

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Noble Dragon November 19, 2012 at 09:59

I’ve been a regular and avid reader of this fabulous website for a couple of years, but have never commented before. But I just got back from a professional conference where I came face to face with the topic of this article, so here goes.

I work in an extremely female dominated profession (about 95% female, so even more so than nursing). It used to be pretty balanced, some 50 years ago, but women have taken it over; there is nothing inherently feminine about the field – it is just appealing to women because of the indoor, flexible nature of the profession. So, I went to the annual conference of my profession just to get some Continuing Education Units (CEUs). As usual, the convention center was constructed with twice as many women’s rooms as men’s rooms, and each women’s room has many more stalls than men’s rooms – about 2:1. Additionally, they had covered the signs of numerous men’s rooms with “Women’s Room” to accommodate the large percentage of women attending this particular conference. Thus, there were probably some 10x the number of toilets for women as men. (In and of itself, I don’t have a problem with this, since the conference attendee ratio was some 20:1 women to men.) Despite this accommodation, however, there were still long lines outside the women’s room, and none outside the men’s room.

As I exited a men’s room, two women barged in, with surly attitudes, saying they were tired of waiting in line. Their attitude was one of righteous indignation that men were privileged.

To the women standing in line snickering at their comrades’ daring, and contemplating doing the same, I addressed a withering criticism. I said something to the following effect, though I don’t recall the precise words of my denouncement:

“You know, I have to say, I am truly astonished at how sexist you women are. You are such sexists! Let a man try barging into the women’s room if the men’s line was much longer, and he’d have been carted off in handcuffs. And let me tell you something else, you women have it better than men. You ought to put yourselves in men’s shoes for a change. Those urinals in there have no dividers. We have to stand shoulder to shoulder with each other and do our business. How would you feel if you had to sit in your stalls, but there were no walls, and you had to sit shoulder to shoulder with strange women and do your business? I can guarantee you that this line would disappear like that [accompanied with snapping my fingers]. There would never be any lines for women’s restrooms because either you wouldn’t go, or you’d get your business done as fast as possible.”

Then I walked off.

It’s a difficult thing to confront female chauvinism, and societies assumption of male privilege. Many men, like me, are not fond of confrontation. We just want to live our lives in peace. And American women are harridans, in general. So, overcoming male guilt/shame, and confronting women’s entitlements, and society’s programming, are difficult.

While this article does a great job of outlining the state of affairs and saying that we need to do something about it, the “how” is the sticking point. *How* do we overcome the shaming of males, how to we deprogram society? Is such one-man spontaneous challenging and educating of women (as I attempted to do) what the author is suggesting? Regardless, what do you all think about approaches or solutions to the problem? *How* do we change society?

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ahamkara November 19, 2012 at 11:04

I was willing to go along with the liberal “quest for equality” until they came after my kids. Since then, it really doesn’t matter to me who is oppressed and who is really on top… just leave me and my kids alone.

Even if it were true that men have “special advantages” in society, why would we be expected to give those away? You don’t see women and minorities voting and advocating against their own interests, for the most part… why should we?

And if everyone’s so “equal” how the heck did we create this society that we are supposedly in charge of? We must have been good at something to come up with such a system, eh?

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Migu November 19, 2012 at 11:15

When you’ve convinced men en masse to stop loving women as much as they do (or at least as much as women love them), you’ll have shifted the tides of “equality”.

If you view men en masse, you will never convince one of anything.

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SixStringsForever November 19, 2012 at 12:46

Well said Keyster,however,increasing numbers of men ARE starting to see womens true nature for what it is and they don’t like what they see,the internet channels are casting the shells from their eyes and displaying an ugly truth.
A “snowball” effect is gathering pace,but it will take time,nobody denies that.

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Anonymous November 19, 2012 at 15:30

@ Author

“it is only through the embracing of our imperfections, our incompleteness, and our humanity in all its many forms, that we men can move to the next level of evolution in our relationships with women.”

I think your article is right on, except it goes off the tracks here. The problem with it is that it basically is a trojan horse of the feminist party dogma.

This is feminist mainline of ideology:
Men need to accept they are flawed in order to get laid.

Which is basically what your sentence says…

That is wrong.

I think what you meant to say, is that men need to accept that their vulnerable to exploitation, and not IronMan, or invincible in any way shape or form, and once that is done then men can have correct relationships with women.

But really the carrot being relationships with women is unnecessary, just say that men need to accept that they are just as vulnerable as women to being exploited and abused, and to drop the pretentious tough guy facade, cuz no man alive today is near an iota of tough.

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CyclotronMajesty November 19, 2012 at 15:31

@ Author

“it is only through the embracing of our imperfections, our incompleteness, and our humanity in all its many forms, that we men can move to the next level of evolution in our relationships with women.”

I think your article is right on, except it goes off the tracks here. The problem with it is that it basically is a trojan horse of the feminist party dogma.

This is feminist mainline of ideology:
Men need to accept they are flawed in order to get laid.

Which is basically what your sentence says…

That is wrong.

I think what you meant to say, is that men need to accept that their vulnerable to exploitation, and not IronMan, or invincible in any way shape or form, and once that is done then men can have correct relationships with women.

But really the carrot being relationships with women is unnecessary, just say that men need to accept that they are just as vulnerable as women to being exploited and abused, and to drop the pretentious tough guy facade, cuz no man alive today is near an iota of tough.

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jay November 19, 2012 at 15:48

@Andie

If you homeschool your son can you arrange for his boys to come over in their free time so you can teach them too? You must take every possible measure in order to homeschool I think the feminist indoctrination center that he is in would be too much for his young mind to handle. Also if you manage to get them over to your place you can also be a positive influence on his friends and counter the guilt trip they are put through in school

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VitaminD November 19, 2012 at 19:50

Women have constructed a social norm in that if a man dears speaks out about the problem’s men face and tries to fix it peacefully he is a whiner, coward, and loser that is to be shamed and advertised to women as “bad goods.” This by itself prevents many men from speaking up. They dont realize that women arent attracted to men that try to conform to society’s, women’s, and white knights idea of what a man is, but to what their own idea of what a man, especially if it means doing what you want and speaking about what you want to.

Then there’s the fact that men have been brainwashed to the point that they feel as if they arent real men even if they are anonymously posting about men’s rights on the internet, once again not realizing that a man says and does what he wants when he wants to do it, so theres the big egos and self doubt involved as well.

Men have been told by women to stop whining about it and take it, or do something about it. Women realize deep down that if men did actually do something about it (which we are good at), it would result in many lives lost and us winning. For the time being, us men being the logical and merciful beings that we are, are trying to resolve this peacefully before it has to result in bloodshed. Women are betting on the fact that that the social shaming of calling men “whiners” and “pussies” will stop us from ever gaining large enough numbers to put a dent in the injustices that men must face.

I’m guessing they are confident in their bets as they see us men trying to solve it peacefully as weakness. They don’t realize us men are wired and good at settling things drastically and by any means necessary if it must be done.

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migu November 20, 2012 at 00:44

Andie,

You’ve thrown him to the wolves. You can homeschool but, instead you send him to the place that will break him….public school.

What’s the difference between public school and prison? The color of the bus the inmates are transported in. Yellow for children white for adults.

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jay November 20, 2012 at 00:56

@Andie

If you have to choose however in my opinion it is much better for your son to lose contact with a few friends than to put him through the meatgrinder of the public school system and college.

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Mikediver November 20, 2012 at 07:21

Andie,

I have put four sons through the meat grinder of public schools. I advise doing anything else you can. If you can find a charter school that is sex segregated with sex segregated teachers that is where you should send your son. I had one son (in custody of his mother so I had no say) drugged up with Ritalin. My second son dropped out of high school in dispair. He later finished and is now in his thirties finishing college. Lots of mental and emotional damage to repair. The last two sons are in college now. I had to work my ass off to fight the schools every step of the way. The older of the last two wasted the last two years of high school and nearly flunked out because the course work was intensely boring for him. His test scores and teacher recommendations were that he be put in the advanced classes, but he missed getting into the courses in 6th grade so they had no answer for him. I have two daughters and believe me no excuses would have been necessary before they were moved up to the highest class levels and babied along to win.
the last son was in the advanced classes because I had learned the system. He was in all AP classes by senior year and validated a lot of his freshman year in college.

The last two sons were in my sole custody because their mother had died when they were very young. She had been a grade school teacher and she brought home the BS that she was forced to push in the schools. Thought policing and brainwashing on all kinds of subjects.

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Attila November 20, 2012 at 20:08

Women are mostly biological, Men are or can be trans-biological. That’s why they
haven’t excelled in ANY field involving abstract thought- such as Mathermatics, Philosophy
or Physics.

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Attila November 20, 2012 at 20:11

In a nutshell—-women are pigs (spiritually speaking).

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imnobody November 22, 2012 at 19:01

False guilt is only one of a man’s weakness. THE man’s weakness is his pride. So most men don’t protest being treated like slaves and like garbage by society and by women, because “whining is for sissies”. Even when other people protest, the average American guy attacks these men that protest because “I am better than them. Look at my greatness. You are only a bunch of losers.”.

You only have to open your eyes to see what are the results of this attitude of impersonating Hulk.

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bruno November 23, 2012 at 05:04

A man’s weakness is his own stupidity.

We have all the power, but we throw it all away, just to please the women, and we get back nothing in return.

From early age we teach girls to get money in return for their affection and company.

Girls who give affection without seeking financial profit, we call them “sluts”.

Later we complain that women are golddiggers, prostitutes, who demand money in return for love.

They are just the monsters that we have created.

We are ready to beat up any man who has displeased a lady, but we complain when the violence of the white knights rains down on us.

We are ready to marry a woman, let her live like a princess, give her all the privileges and superior rights possible, cement it into law, we roll around in the dirt for her, but we are surprised when she actually starts to use those rights and privileges against us.

Then we say: How unfair!

We men, are own own worst enemies.

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Ole Johansen November 26, 2012 at 12:30

I think you maybe forgot a word here,and yes,of course,the word is White.
So we race realist and the Mans movement have nothing in common?
Of course,we have.

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bruno sucks June 17, 2014 at 05:47

I don’t believe, for one second, that Bruno is a male.

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