Comment of the Week: Marriage to Foreigners Not Always Perfect

by W.F. Price on August 21, 2012

Commenter yinjia brings up some of the issues that can complicate relationships between Americans and foreigners, Japanese in particular. It isn’t an entirely flattering portrayal of these marriages (and I might disagree on a few points), but she addresses some real issues men ought to think about. Additionally, she discusses the behavior of expats in Asia, and the fact that it can get out of hand. This is true. Unrestrained male sexuality isn’t any better than the female kind, and one runs across it from time to time in particular expat settings.

Yinjia’s comment provides a perspective worth considering for men who have thought about marrying foreigners. As she writes, these marriages tend to work out better than the average American marriage, but they are far from perfect, and involve their own challenges.


First off, I’m female, but I honestly enjoy this website because it so neatly describes many of the problems I see in my peers, and some of the stereotypes I deal with every day as an active-duty military officer. As somebody who’s lived in this part of the world, though, I don’t think you’ve been quite fair about it in this article.

My first active-duty assignment was to a base outside of Tokyo, Japan. After two years there, I would say that while Asian women may be more appealing for most based on certain feminine traits, there are some additional cultural issues that can eventually become problems. Women from other cultures often have completely different expectations of marriage, and while this article presents this as an overall positive, there are negatives in there as well that do, for some, overwhelm anything else.

I can absolutely attest to the popularity of the Japanese women amongst the men – they were petite, gorgeous, feminine, and deferential. It also helped that many of them just want to date/marry foreigners, due to the beastly nature of their own dating and marital culture, and the way Japanese men treat them. Many of them also had far more relaxed attitudes towards sex than even your average American co-ed. It was, in short, a man’s paradise.

A lot of the men on our base had Japanese wives. These ranged from young airmen, just starting out in their marriages, to old contractors who’d gone to Japan during Vietnam and never left. Usually, these were happy marriages, for all the reasons you list. However, it was around the ten year mark when you could start to see cultural differences creating huge tensions in many of these relationships.

Japanese women view marriage in a completely different light than we do, and they go about handling it in completely different ways. a typical Japanese woman will find herself the best job possible in order to secure the highest-ranking man at that company, purely out of economic/familial interests. ( I was constantly being advised by my Japanese friends that I was pretty enough to have a good secretary’s job at a big American corporation, and they were confused as to why I wasn’t pursuing this “standard” route to a good husband. I sometimes wonder that myself, actually, but it’s not the way we operate here.) These women do what they have to do to secure him, including giving him as much sex as he wants, and gradually assimilates control over the family finances. This continues into the marriage and through the child-bearing years, until she’s decided she’s had the number of kids she wants. (this isn’t something I got from observations, mind, my Japanese friends actually laid this out for me). The years, with growing kids, are where people typically started having problems.

At that point, sex is usually cut off, and she has complete control of the money in the relationship, able to deny her husband anything not in “her” budget. Japanese men at this point typically find themselves a girlfriend – a lot of women encourage/expect it, actually. I had a sergeant who’d reached this point in his marriage with his Japanese wife, and it was causing him a great deal of problems, as in his view, he’d committed to one woman for the rest of his life, and she was actively pushing him into finding a younger girlfriend and denying him sex. I know that some men might enjoy this, but for most of the decent ones who got put in that position, it was an extremely difficult thing to deal with. It’s not culturally compatible with Western expectations.

Then you get in to dealing with the kids. Americans, generally, have a fairly lax and open manner of raising kids. You want them to pursue activities, you want them to do well in school, but you also want to see them grow and develop their own interests, explore, figure things out on their own, and so on. Japanese child-rearing is quite different – Japanese women expect their children to be perfect, and even in marriages to American men, place extremely high demands on performance and schoolwork, to the point where a five year old may be at piano practice until 8-9 PM, every day after school. Women here tend to get what they want. Some people found a balance, but for many, the competing cultural ideas of child-rearing placed a great deal of tension on their marriage. I had a contractor whose oldest son failed to get into his mother’s high school, and she was so ashamed of him that she threw an epic fit, and ended up kicking him out of the house. The American father was placed in the position of having to worry about his son killing himself (the kid didn’t, fortunately), and eventually had to divorce his Japanese wife over the problems it caused in their marriage. This was an extreme case, but I saw similar strains in quite a few of these relationships over the kids.

There were a lot of other problems that manifested, but generally speaking, the men whose Japanese wives stayed “Japanese” (instead of assimilating their new American culture and losing some of those qualities that made them appealing in the first place, which was quite common) had serious issues to overcome. Many of them were quite clearly not the same men they had once been after even a few years of marriage.

I realize there are a lot of benefits to a relationship with women from other cultures, but it’s impossible to ignore the fact that they bring their cultures with them, and sometimes, that isn’t a good thing. They don’t want the same things out of a relationship, won’t offer the same things in that relationship, and for some men, this ends up leaving them unfulfilled and frustrated. There’s still a high level of manipulation and control being exercised in these types of relationships, perhaps in a way that’s more acceptable to both parties, but it’s silly to think that a foreign woman (at least, a Japanese woman) is going to be any more decent to a man than a Western woman would be. She’s not as likely to divorce you, but trust me, that kind of intimidation/control is going to be levied in other ways.

(Not to mention I experienced some horrible things from men during my time in Japan, to the point where I’ve become scared to date here in America. It’s a highly misogynistic culture – a very real misogyny, not the kind we complain about here in the States – and Western men especially are allowed to behave in a horrific fashion over there. I wholeheartedly approve of masculinity, but some of the ways you see it expressed in Asian expat culture are quite terrible, and demeaning both of the men and the women they interact with. It ain’t perfect anywhere!)

{ 117 comments… read them below or add one }

Glenn August 21, 2012 at 06:11

More thinly veiled feminist horseshit about how “quite terrible” men are, with damnation by faint praise for foreign women thrown in to boot. I could fly away in a hot air balloon with all the Neuro-Linguistic Programming vomitus in this “article”. In the end, all I see here is a crypto-feminist trying to wrap garden variety propaganda in a package that is (presumably) more palatable to enlightened men.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 7 Thumb down 13
El Bastardo August 21, 2012 at 06:19

I just moved back from Japan, military myself, and I can agree with most of what she is saying! The attitudes over there are ridiculous to a foreigners eyes. Also, I knew quite a few military men who were getting the sex from the Japanese wives that they were not giving their husbands! Not just American military, but Japanese men as well. Their point of view and attitude over there is insane by our cutural standards.

They have “Love Hotels.” Barred windows with everything one needs right there! No questions asked, you just have to be an adult man and woman.

Lastly, but most important, is if she does divorce you, you face a severe risk of never seeing your kids again. The Japanese family court goes all the way to the top. Even their Prince has not seen one of his kids since forever. His ex has not seen two of hers. However, he is royalty, so the real standard is that the divorced Japanese father NEVER sees his kids. Also, the Japanese Government IS the hubby to the Japanese ex-wife. You never see your kids, but you don’t pay child support either. The state supplies her with funds, so she really oes have every incentive to kick you out. Paying her is no guarantee you will see your kids. She holds all the cards, and she will never get extradited if she kidnaps them!

You draw your own conclusions. Sure you want a Japanese wife?

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Manlyman August 21, 2012 at 06:31

“Japanese women view marriage in a completely different light than we do, and they go about handling it in completely different ways. a typical Japanese woman will find herself the best job possible in order to secure the highest-ranking man at that company, purely out of economic/familial interests.”

That’s exactly what Western women do. No difference. Nice try Sistsa.

“These women do what they have to do to secure him, including giving him as much sex as he wants, and gradually assimilates control over the family finances. This continues into the marriage and through the child-bearing years, until she’s decided she’s had the number of kids she wants.”

I have yet to see the difference between this behaviour and Western women’s behaviour. Do continue to bloviate though.

“At that point, sex is usually cut off, and she has complete control of the money in the relationship, able to deny her husband anything not in “her” budget.”

And the hits keep on coming. Yes babe, they’re ALL like that.

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gunner451 August 21, 2012 at 06:38

Yes I have heard that about Japanese women, especially the no sex after the kids arrive. However, I’ve also heard that while they may not be having sex with the husband they do have sex. It seems to be an expectation that both will fool around at that point which for a western guy maybe a problem.

They are probably right as far as seeking a husband by becoming a secretary for a high end boss at a big corporation. I’ve seen it often enough that there is no doubt that it’s a viable path for getting a high status mate and also may be a career boost as several female CEO’s got their start that way. I would say that being a female military officer is about the polar opposite of that and presents an anti-feminine image so would agree with the Japanese women’s assessment for the most part. Which is the real difference between Japanese women and Western women, western women are taking a very masculine approach thinking that being an equal and competitor to men will be attractive whereas the Japanese women take a very feminine and (at least on the surface) submissive approach that is much more attractive to men.

The problem is that no matter what they all seem to turn into raging bitches somewhere along the line once they secured their position in the relationship. It seems to be a rare woman that truly wants to submit to her husbands leadership and fully support him in that position. But that’s the world we live in.

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Tangent August 21, 2012 at 06:40

I’m married to a Vietnamese woman, and I can attest to how hard it is. Her family is in all of our business and acts as if what is ours is theirs. She (and they) do not meet me half way culturally-I am expected to bend to their customs. Her parents don’t even speak English after 17 years in this country.

She changed as soon as the engagement ring hit her finger. I should have stopped it right then. If she doesn’t get her way, its a major battle. Before the engagement, she was demure, sexy, charming…always dressed up. Now she looks like a bag lady half the time.

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Jim O'Connor August 21, 2012 at 06:41

Female nature is female nature. The only difference is some countries are better at controlling it so it doesn’t spiral out of control. If I were to ever move to another country (I currently live in the USA) it would be for the culture, and not the women. My view on marriage, and women, has been soiled so much by feminists and blue-pill men that me getting married seems about as likely as me walking on Mars.

I don’t really put any stock in what women have to say about other women. Women will put the Sisterhood first, unless they are competing for men, then they are incredibly vicious. I saw this a happen a lot between the female foreign exchange students and American women while I was in college. Unlike the American women, the female foreign exchange students weren’t overweight, weren’t covered in tattoos, had manners, and dressed sexy without dressing slutty. Oh man, did the claws ever come out from the American women. When I was in a class with both the female foreign exchange students and American women, the passive-aggressiveness was off the charts.

Marriage: Take It, Leave It, or Don’t Risk It.

(Personally, I have decided to choose Don’t Risk It)

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Troll King August 21, 2012 at 07:09

Interesting comment.

I was just reading this article:

and the articles linked within, and it just doesn’t seem worth it.

I really wonder if something hasn’t broken in my head recently? Maybe it is the result of aging or maturing or gaining experience or something, I dunno.

All I know is that I can’t imagine finding myself in a situation where even feelings of love could make me think that it would be worth the hassle. So many relationships with women seem to be actually worse, from the freedom point of view, than moving back in with your parents.

Her micromanaging your lifestyle? Sounds worse than helicopter parents. Having to pay off her six figure student loans? Much worse than doing a few chores.

With the way women act and their expectations, no wonder more than 50% of adults are single and not married.

I would rather save up for a motorcycle than pay off some chicks student loans (especially considering how much time she spent on her back getting those lons).

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ode August 21, 2012 at 07:12

An Asian wife is less likely to divorce you but that could be a bad characteristic. What if you really want to end the relationship, yikes scary!

Of course a divorce is always possible if you want it but it may cost you a pound of flesh in financial pain. Generally the longer the marriage the greater the alimony payments will be. For example out here in California where I live, after 10 years of marriage if you get a divorce you owe the women ailemony for life.

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Lara August 21, 2012 at 07:12

I know a Portuguese woman who is kind, feminine, hard working and easy going. I also know a Brazilian woman who is the same way. They might be easier to deal with than Asian women.

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Days of Broken Arrows August 21, 2012 at 07:17

Well, there’s still Russian women. And Polish. And Hungarian…

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Anonymous August 21, 2012 at 07:35

More thinly veiled feminist horseshit about how “quite terrible” men are

This attitude is my BIGGEST problem with taking the majority of MRA seriously.

As to the expectation that once the kids arrive, then both people fool around with someone else – that isn’t that surprising in a misogynistic culture, if that is what Japan is. Probably raised by mothers who have been fooled around on by their husbands (because they can do whatever they want) and teach their daughters that after the kids come, they can go their own way.

I don’t buy into a lot of misogyny crap, but you guys really take the cake in self-righteous denial of anything men could ever possibly do wrong. You really think all men in days of old were good to their wives? Really? Do you live in a bubble?

I believe Ephesians gives TWO commands – probably because both parties are just as culpable of failure: Wives SUBMIT, Husbands LOVE.

Good grief.

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Lara August 21, 2012 at 07:42

The wife is taking responsibility by being in charge of the family finances, although she shouldn’t be too controlling about it. The tiger mothering can be a problem, but if it is kept in check it can be a good thing. I think the wife is being realistic by encouraging her husband to get a girlfriend. What he is offering the girlfriend is another question. All in all, I don’t think Japanese wives sound that terrible.

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Alex F August 21, 2012 at 07:49

@ Anonymous

I really agree with this; someone once said of feminism “the problem with it is that it assumes women are innocent”. Well, the same statement can often be applied to the MRM. Just as feminists proclaim women are always the victims and never do anything wrong, so too do (some) MRAs proclaim of men.

Many millions of men HAVE behaved badly, cheated on their wives, been abusive, and so on, just as have many millions of women – being an unpleasant person is not a gender-specific trait.

I think the MRM generally is becoming a bit flabby and losing sight of its original goals. Initially, it was founded to correct the imbalances created by feminism, and to ensure men were not being sidelined and / or exploited by or for women.

Now, it seems to be edging ever closer to the idea that everything women do and are is fundamentally bad and wrong, that this is in their nature whatever the context or culture, and men are supreme infallible beings who have never put a foot wrong throughout human history.

This perspective makes a joke of the movement, and gives feminists ample ammunition to mock and undermine it. Just as radical feminists (Dworkin etc) are considered hysterical and mad by most reasonable people, extremist MRAs will be considered the same way.

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namae nanka August 21, 2012 at 08:01

“You really think all men in days of old were good to their wives?”

Indeed, besides the small matter of rule of thumb,

This female clock is really driving me mad, for her quarrelsome din doesn’t stop for a moment. The tongue of a quarrelsome woman never tires of chiming in. She even drowns out the sound of the church bell.

A nagging wife couldn’t care less whether her words are wise or foolish, provided that the sound of her own voice can be heard. She simply pursues her own ends; there’s not a grain of sense in what she says; in fact she finds it impossible to have a decent thought. She doesn’t want her husband to be the boss and finds fault with everything he does.

Rightly or wrongly, the husband has no choice: he has to put up with the situation and keep his mouth shut if he wants to remain in one piece. No man, however self disciplined or clear-sighted he may be, can protect himself adequately against this. A husband has to like what the wife likes, and disapprove of what she hates and criticize what she criticizes so that her opinions appear to be right. So anyone who wishes to immolate himself on the altar of marriage will have a lot to put up with.

or more recently,

Mrs. Mark Wilks, whose husband is in jail because she refuses to pay her taxes, is credited with discovering a new and formidable weapon for the suffragettes. The suffragettes are generally women of property and they will follow Mrs. Wilks example immediately, it is said.

The plan will work only in cases of husbands whose wives have individual income. Nor will it work in cases where the husband pays taxes on their wives’ income. Some husbands, like Wilks, haven’t enough money to pay their wives’ taxes. Suffragette husbands who can pay are counted on to refuse to do so. Thus will a large proportion of the Englishmen with suffragette wives be in jail shortly.

Under the married women property act a husband has no jurisdiction over his wife’s property and income. Under the income tax he is responsible for her taxes. If the taxes are not paid, the husband, not the wife, is imprisoned. Mrs. Wilks refused to pay her income taxes–$185–and her husband was locked up. He will spend the rest of his life in prison unless the wife pays or the laws are changed. When at liberty he is a teacher in Clapton.

stupid stupid men, how could their poor wives keep up with them.

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walking in hell2 August 21, 2012 at 08:04

I have heard that Japanese women are subservient on the surface and very manipulative and controlling under the surface. The custody laws completely favor women, and the man will not see his children in the event of divorce. Japanese women also expect that the man will will provide for her and the children.

I think a good rule of thumb is this: if you hate the culture, you will hate the women, because all women regress to the mean of the culture at some point. The trick is to find a culture that you like. Then find a woman from the culture and stay in the culture.

The problems come when the culture undergoes some change; for example, in the 70s feminism in the American culture. Another example is the breakdown of the family in Poland as Poland begins to Westernize.

One way to hedge for cultural shifts that might turn your lovely wife into a beast, is to always keep your assets outside the union, and never tell her everything that you own.

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Beltain August 21, 2012 at 08:05

I cannot claim much experience with Japanese women. Having been an Army brat and then in myself for several years I seemed to only have had access (both romantic and strictly hands off due to them dating buddies) to Koreans, Filipinos and a Chinese from an expat family. So there maybe differences I am unaware of.

Frankly I would say you are misunderstanding the differences between social expectations of a city culture and those of a more rural aspect as a woman thing. Korean women especially had a wide variance in behavior between the ones near the post and in the cities compared to the ones who came from further out.

Regardless, yes Asian women will take all they can get as far as relationship control. C’mon that’s the way nature likes it. The real difference is when the man put’s his foot down the Asians, although you could never say they took it calmly, never resorted to calling the MP’s and making up false rape claims or throwing the whole relationship down the drain because they knew they could. The Asian girls never seemed to form little shark attack support groups to brainstorm how to do the most collective damage either.

Bottom line some female attitudes are universal but others, especially the never ending stream of choices and maximum retaliation damage is a Western Feminist thing only.

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Keyster August 21, 2012 at 08:15

The guys that constantly promote “avoid Ameri-skanks, find a foreign bride”, are hopelessly naive. It’s no panacea. Strife between the genders is as old as time. It’s just more obvious now. Women weren’t suppossed to live past menopause, if they didn’t die first giving birth. The spectrum of hormonal changes in men and women through the course of their lives changes priorities. Once the children are raised they mostly just tolerate each other. They become complacent and trapped in their own history with each other. Grandchildren might serve as a pleasant diversion.

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Uncle Elmer August 21, 2012 at 08:20

Of course I must comment. I have posted much about the charms of my viet wife but like Tangent says, she can be hell when she wants her way. It is during these epic battles that I get a glimpse of the difficulties the French and American armies had in trying to subdue these people. I have found that she really wants a stiff bit of resistance from me and will continue the trauma if I respond in a flaccid, weak, or accommodating manner. After 5 years of marriage things have improved and we have fewer of these outbursts.

Assimilating and adopting her culture is important, if you want to marry a foreign woman. Not difficult for me as I truly enjoy their culture which centers around food and family. As I mentioned in my essay A Man Wants a Wife, Not a Co-Worker, if you live near a major viet population this can help your situation as she will need contact with that to avoid going insane in this cold, harsh land.

As for “Yinjia”, you guys should take what she say with a big grain of salt, and I probably don’t need to tell anyone here that. Definitely detect a whiff of sour grapes coming from an American woman living in Japan and watching her male colleagues pursue (er, being pursued by) strictly native women and ignoring her completely. Assuming she is halfway attractive for an American woman, that has got to sting hard as she would be used to plenty of male attention back in the states whereas overseas she has nothing to offer them except stale western female BS in contrast to ethereal foreign female charms. Also many times I have seen western men traveling in SE Asia with their tattooed, water-buffalo western girlfriends and looking miserable in that fountain of female beauty.

Women around the globe seek the best deal they can get. You would too if your were a woman and there’s nothing wrong with it, just a factor to consider. If you are considering a foreign bride, do your homework and shop carefully. They are in abundance and high-quality, but you can get burned as badly with them as with a western female.

Now I must return to my regularly scheduled work as I feel the end is nigh and I will be seeking a new patron, as described in Employment Game I, II, and II. Recovery and transition strategy to be detailed in my upcoming Spearhead essay You Just Got Canned.

By the way, anyone else admiring Walter White’s transformation to alpha business empire builder? His latest farewell talk to Mike about “I trust you will bring Jesse up to speed on your end of the business…” is a great study for how to talk in the big boy room. I need to be a little more of that instead of my usual jellyfish response when getting rogured by the players.

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Uncle Elmer August 21, 2012 at 08:31

Boilerplate, pad the proposal with it and it’s a wrap :

This attitude is my BIGGEST problem with taking the majority of MRA seriously.

It’s all about her.

that isn’t that surprising in a misogynistic culture, if that is what Japan is.

Sour grapes.

Probably raised by mothers…

Always gotta mention Mom.

I don’t buy into a lot of misogyny crap, but you guys really take the cake in self-righteous denial of anything men could ever possibly do wrong. You really think all men in days of old were good to their wives? Really? Do you live in a bubble?

Did I mention “passive-aggressive”?

Wives SUBMIT, Husbands LOVE.

Invoking scripture to shame men into servitude.

Admit it though guys, we love lady commentators. Keep it coming Anonymous. It’s like troll crack.

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namae nanka August 21, 2012 at 08:41

If every man had been concerned to ensure that his own wife looked up to him and respected his rightful position as her husband, we should not have half this trouble with women en masse. Instead, women have become so powerful that our independence has been lost in our own homes and is now being trampled underfoot in public. We have failed to restrain them as individuals, and now they have combined to reduce us to our present panic.

-Cato the elder

what an outdated fool.

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meistergedanken August 21, 2012 at 08:46

Interesting comment/article on an intriguing topic. A point that could be explored further is the distinction missed by some of the commenters above: there is a definite difference to taking control over the family finances and what American women do. I think American women just want the money to be [magically] available when it is desired. This is because they are less practical than Asian women. They want to be able to siphon out whatever they “need” at a moment’s notice, be it for a new purse, armoire or vacation. They typically don’t want to be bothered with what comes from where, so they defer to their husbands on matters having to do with investment and retirement planning. I would imagine that the “Japanese Approach” could lead to a lot more conflict, if there are strong – and conflicting – opinions between man and wife.

The “American way” puts more responsibility on to the husband, of course. In this way the wife is more like a child who gets an allowance, for example (even if she also has an income, it is typically less than her husband’s, coupled with her seemingly greater expenses). On the other hand, it gives him greater flexibility and freedom to allocate resources to different investment vehicles – AND gives him the chance to sequester certain funds into, shall we say, hard to identify places. The implications are obvious, especially if the reader considers the annonymity afforded by precious metals, which I have written about here (in vain) before.

What Japanese women do is much more “hands on”, and I’m not sure that is preferable. Better, perhaps, that the wife be kept in the dark about the various accounts, portfolios, funds, T-bills and so forth. Knowledge is power, and they have enough as it is. Just my two cents.

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Wanderer August 21, 2012 at 08:47

Yinjia nailed it. Although several of the particulars are different for me, enough match up for me to nod in agreement. The reason I hover around MRA sites is because of my marriage to an extremely difficult Japanese woman.

It’s too late for me, so a lot of issues are moot, but young men could benefit from a heads up in this area. “Nice guys” in particular will be very susceptible, since Asian ladies are quite attractive and unbelievably charming in the market and courtship stages, and seem so obviously superior to their stateside counterparts in the femininity department. But unless the guys get super lucky, Japanese women (and probably East Asian women in general) are going to turn out way more neurotic they ever bargained for. Conubial relations indeed will go out the window, maybe sooner, maybe later. But that may even be the least of the trails, as the hysteria, the browbeating and the emotional blackmail are much worse than the lack of sex. And as Yinjia noted, the tiger mom thing kicks in very, very hard with the kids. I’m glad we didn’t have boys.

I don’t know if young men can be properly warned about such things; maybe they’re just too stupid. I doubt I would have listened when I was a young idiot.

On the upside, my wife is a skillful and inspired cook, an excellent household manager, takes good care of me, is quite devoted to me, keeps me healthy and fit, etc. etc. I’m sure I owe a lot of whatever success I’ve had in life to her. But no sex, and she’s a scary control freak, so unlike Yinjia’s military friends I don’t get the green light to have girlfriends. (I probably couldn’t reap the benefit anyway, because of religious scruples.)

I’m afraid I also agree with Anonymous above. The reactive bluster in comments always keeps me from doing anything more than hover around MRA world. There’s some very important issues, but because of the constant spiral into ideological yahooism there’s no way I could get involved with it. In a way, I’m grateful. I just read the comments and say “Uh, yeah, no, better stay outa that sh*t.” So I’m spared another time-draining compartment of Internet activity.

Still, I would have thought the seriousness of men’s predicament might have inspired a more elevated and focussed level of discussion.

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td9red August 21, 2012 at 09:07

Marry who you want, from whatever country you want. IMO people are the same wherever you go. And, once you bring them to the U.S. they will assemilate and take on all the characteristics that you sought to avoid by taking on a foreign mate. One other thing to consider, is that once the relationship ends they might run off back to their home country and take the kids… Than you’ll be frequenting one of those kidnapped children websites…

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Thomas Tell-Truth August 21, 2012 at 09:43

I have found that the key to a good relationship with an Asian wife is to remove her from her family network. If you do not do this, her family will bury you. Asian families may be headed by the father, but its the women, especially the eldest woman who make the day to day decisions. You had better play your role as work beast and bring home the money or there will be hell to pay.

As East Asia transforms itself, you are going to see an incredibly toxic synthesis of confucianism and feminism that will pruduce a new kind of social climbing asian princess which make the Anglobitches look like sweethearts. I feel for the next generation of Asian men.

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Uncle Elmer August 21, 2012 at 09:53

Keyster is dead on about hormonal changes and life trajectories. In some cultures this is accounted for and concubinage is accepted while keeping the marriage intact. Men in foreign countries have an outlet for life’s inevitable transformations and thus their divorce rate is much lower.

My wife often jokes about finding a “girl” to take care of me. I provide my specs : Young, can cook and massage well, has small, perky breasts. “OK, I will find for you! No problem.” she says half-angrily, yet half-truthfully.

As for us, I am well aware of Keyster’s ugly truths. She is ten years younger than me. At 55 I am getting sex every day and she still has a teenager’s body. But the hormones are fluctuating and she confessed she doesn’t feel the urge as much as before. I tole her it’s ok, I understand that, and she knows she only has to do a few things to take care of her man and he will be happy. And she does it every night. If I feign I don’t want it, she will initiate it.

Got a friend who hasn’t had sex with his wife in 7 years. I can’t fathom that. He longs to be touched and calls himself the JackOff King, and for that he gets shamed. Why she won’t give him s simple dick massage at least and comports herself like a complete bitch should serve as warning to all young men what you likely face as you grow old with your childhood sweetheart.

On those “true crime” documentaries they regularly feature the good doctor who clumsily murders his wife after 30 years of marriage. No I don’t watch a lot of TV or use it as a source of inspiration.

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beta_plus August 21, 2012 at 10:04

There is no perfect marriage. Even the best ones are full of work, struggle, and heartache. You’re always taking a chance.

The question is are your probabilities for success greater in America or in another country (in this case Japan). It would still seem that Japan is the winner.

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Tim August 21, 2012 at 10:13

Are there not benefits and problems with everything?

I think the best approach is to know what the (potential) problems will be beforehand.

Is there a manosphere blog that comments on how the different cultures each affect ltrs?

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Anonymous August 21, 2012 at 10:14

Uncle Elmer -

I’ve dealt with my shame, my pride, and working on my submission.

You guys are just big sham.

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Days of Broken Arrows August 21, 2012 at 10:33

Marry who you want, from whatever country you want. IMO people are the same wherever you go.

Not when you factor in America’s obesity problem. All told, if you’re going to wind up shackled to a controlling woman, it’s better if she looks better.

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greyghost August 21, 2012 at 10:34

lets see good sex. children,(hostages) cut off sex and then take over house and get what you want. Sounds like an american wife with an accent to me.
Also use your head and learn to put two and two together. Japan is the land of the grass eater. Japan is no place to find a wife. They grow up with full custody of the child so they can and do behave as any ameriskank or as i should say westerskank. All enabled and enforced as it is here at government gun point.
BTW any woman that uses the word misogynistic to discribe anything is not to be taken too seriously. Another fem cunt projecting a thug, ( a tingler she wants) a defective man as all men…. “misogynistic culture ” right after discribing how the beta boys she can’t see (no tingle for her) are getting screwed over.

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Craig Himself August 21, 2012 at 10:44

All 100% good shizznit here, gents. Thanks for this.

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greyghost August 21, 2012 at 12:00

Wives SUBMIT, Husbands LOVE.

Just about everyman on this blog from the founder on down has played this game. And_____________________. Try to fill in that blank Anonymous and fell free to use as much space as you need. I ‘ll give you a hint the blog does exist for a reason.

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Fujii System August 21, 2012 at 12:12

As someone who works extensively with the Japanese, I can agree with a lot of this post, and it’s also the reason why I will most likely never marry a Japanese.

However, I don’t quite agree with some of the reasons behind the observations. In Japan, the wife taking over the finances isn’t intentionally nefarious; it’s a cultural expectation in that the husband is expected to concentrate as much as he can on working and providing for the family while the wife becomes a housewife and concentrates on taking care of the household, including the finances.

“At that point, sex is usually cut off, and she has complete control of the money in the relationship, able to deny her husband anything not in “her” budget. Japanese men at this point typically find themselves a girlfriend – a lot of women encourage/expect it, actually.”

This isn’t really encouraged as much as it is more of an accepted inevitability because of the Japanese work culture. Since the husband is usually out working from 8AM until past midnight each weekday (including boss after-parties, after-after parties, etc.), this would put a strain on pretty much any marriage as husband and wife pretty much cease interacting with each other. They become strangers that live together. This can be further exacerbated when the husband is forced to work a stint abroad for several years, meaning that he only gets to interact with the family for two weeks each year. The wife eventually falls out of love due to an inability to interact with her husband, and the husband becomes lonely and start going to kyabaras or pick up a side girlfriend. That is a pretty common pattern.

The observations about how Japanese women snag a husband or plan and handle kids is spot on though.

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walking in hell2 August 21, 2012 at 12:29

When I lived in Prague I had a Korean male flatmate. He was a very intelligent, thoughtful young man, who hated his Korean wife so much, that he took his six month European trip without her. Apparently she and her mother completely ruled his life, and made life miserable for him.

While he was in Prague I did some emancipation work on him. I took him to a couple of Czech strip clubs. The girls were very friendly to him. By the time he was ready to leave Prague, he had canceled his plans to have children with his wife back in Korea, and planned on divorcing her if she made a problem about it. He had nothing good to say about Korean women in general.

Needless to say, after he left, I rented his room to a Japanese woman. She was very bitter that I never made a move on her. She thought that by paying rent to me and occasionally sharing food with me, that I would somehow begin to like her; I didn’t. There was something very odious about her and she came across as stupid.

Once she brought over a very beautiful young Korean girlfriend. The Korean girlfriend was one of the rudest bitches that I ever met in Prague. She was spewing a combination of male and elder bashing, which was the most awful thing I ever heard. I told her that she made me sick, and I told my Japanese flatmate to never bring her over to the flat again, or I would throw her out.

I met many Vietnamese women in Prague. The older ones were generally very kind (at least to my face). I had a very bad experience with one who was a store cashier. She was around 18 years old, and she was so rude, that a Czech man punched her in the mouth when he went to her store and she said something nasty to him. She also had an obesity problem. Her father eventually threw her into the street, which is exactly where she deserved to be.

I think the younger crop of Asian women are going to be a nightmare. They are just beginning to adopt feminism on a massive scale, and when they adopt it, they completely disrespect any type of male authority.

The young Asian men are going to have a very rough time. I also heard this from my young, male, Korean flatmate friend. He said in general, the Korean men are very unhappy with the Korean women, and Korean men live very repressed lives.

When I asked him why Korean men don’t enforce strict Confucianism on the women, he was aghast. I think that is the problem. The women have been allowed to behave badly without repercussions.

Of course the women learned bad behavior from Westernskanks, just as it becomes apparent that Westernskanks have destroyed Western civilization.

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Geography Bee Finalist himself August 21, 2012 at 12:31

@ Yinjia (I realize she did not place a comment here)

re “Japanese women expect their children to be perfect, and even in marriages to American men, place extremely high demands on performance and schoolwork.”

There are American women who also expect their kids to be perfect (regardless of all other variables), some of whom could give some Japanese women a run for their money.

I am not a father myself, but my mother and father pretty much felt entitled to three perfect children. (Both my parents are white Americans and neither one seemed to have been even remotely gracious in defeat about the outcome of failing to receive three perfect children.)

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Anonymous age 70 August 21, 2012 at 12:41

Life in rural Mexico is different, but to get the benefit of it you have to keep them here, AND DO NOT MARRY THEM. They have a concept called Free Union, which means private marriage, different from shacking up in that family and friends really view you as married. The local hospital even has separate instructions for Ree Union posted on the wall.

I worked 31 years in a factory. The number one diversion of women working together in the US was each women explaining why her husband was the worst SOB of all. I realize some men and women deny this, they are either lying of full of last week’s frijoles.

In 29 years of visiting or living in this rural village, I have never heard one woman stating what a bad man her husband is. Not even once.

Taking Japan as an example of what happens when you marry a FW is silly. Feminism correlates with the nation’s welfare system. When women can get money without working they tend to treat their husbands as disposable, because they are. When a nation has no significant welfare system, women cling to their husbands like a life preserver.

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Darryl X August 21, 2012 at 12:44

“Unrestrained male sexuality isn’t any better than the female kind…”

Actually, it is. Much better. Because men don’t get pregnant and don’t commit paternity fraud and are not as important statistically as reservoirs of sexually transmitted diseases. Also, men are emotionally more equipped to deal with multiple sexual partners than women. Furthermore, men are much more responsible historically dealing with any consequences of unrestrained sexual behavior. Thousands of years of recorded history don’t lie.

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Charles Martel August 21, 2012 at 12:46

Uncle Elmer
At 55 I am getting sex every day……

That puts you about 4 standard deviations from the mean, I’d guess. You’ll have more sex in the next three months than the average 55 year old man will have in the rest of his life.

This comment thread has been solid gold.

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Charles Martel August 21, 2012 at 12:50

Anonymous August 21, 2012 at 10:14
Uncle Elmer -
I’ve dealt with my shame, my pride, and working on my submission.
You guys are just big sham.

Rut-roh, Elmer. Your wife’s reading The Spearhead. Her English needs a little work.

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MKP August 21, 2012 at 12:56

@ meistergedanken

The implications are obvious, especially if the reader considers the annonymity afforded by precious metals, which I have written about here (in vain) before.

Why would you assume that what you’d written before was in vain? If someone had taken your advice, the last thing they’d want to do is come back here to tell everyone about it.

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Darryl X August 21, 2012 at 13:01

@ Alex F and Anonymous -

What people believe is irrelevant. The only thing that is relevant are conclusions made by making repeated measurements within certain limited tolerances and assigning to that average a term of error and then using it to test hypotheses and make predictions within certain probabilities (the Scientific Method). There are great differences between the way women and men behave and claims about each. Most women behave badly and most men do not. In many way. This is easily documented. Feminists make all kinds of bullshit claims about men. Complete lies. They also set up straw men and false flags making it difficult for men to deflect those claims and then apply them as they should appropriately be to women instead of men. Usually when a woman claims somthing about men, the scientific literature actually shows it is more applicable to women. The women are just deflecting the truthful accusations from them and projecting them onto men. Pointing a finger of blame at someone else (men) to distract everyone from women. Women are very deceptive and fraudulent and manipulative. Pure evil. Pretty much whenever a woman says or writes something, disregard it as bullshit and you will be correct almost all the time. And a lot safer. This is statistically correct. Women lie compulsively and pathologically. They are for the most part incapable of telling the truth. There are many reasons for this including development of the brain during puberty and pregnancy and how much resources the body allocates to development of the brain, differences in connection between the corpus callosum and the cerebrum, neurotransmitter titers, and many others. These are not excuses for their behavior. They are explanations and since they are well understood, women have the ability to address them but they have chosen not to and instead use these as reasons for their chronic victimhood. They’re women and are not responsible for anything because their brains don’t work as well as that of men.

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walking in hell2 August 21, 2012 at 13:05

This is what the Asian men can expect in the future. The article describes a murder-suicide of a Vietnamese man and his baby mama during a child custody battle. The woman was lying about her income, and the man was about to lose custody of his child.

Notice the clueless female commentator: “I don’t know what pushed him to do such a thing.” What do you think, shit for brains?

If you read murder-suicide accounts, it is usually a man about to lose custody of his child. Women and the courts are mostly responsible for the very dark crime of murder-suicide that has gripped America.

Any society that allows feminism in the door, will be a society of bastardization, murder suicide, poverty, psychotropic drugs, and a very unhappy and repressed men, whether it is Asian, Caucasian, Latin or Middle Eastern society.

Eventually, even the women will become unhappy; but after living with their newly found “freedom” they will prefer to stay unhappy, husbandless, and childless than go back to being women.

Perhaps the most evil weapon ever invented to destroy a society is feminism. Feminism is an evil doctrine that allows all the wealth and productive energy to be harvested out of a society; the society is in effect, clear cut.

In my opinion, living in a feminized society is worse than a quick death by a nuclear weapon.

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Doc August 21, 2012 at 13:24

The key is training – women can be trained to behave properly just like any animal – you just have to be sure that you NEVER relinquish control of the relationship, and always be willing to walk away. This usually means, that you never put a ring on her finger, and always keep your options open. This usually means staying out of the US, but other countries have to be handled on a case-by-case basis. Just remember – you never get something for nothing so there are pluses and minuses in all things – the key is knowing them, and picking what works best for you. That, after all, is all that should matter to you…

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Szebran August 21, 2012 at 13:42

The best approach for a man is not to marry at all. Seems to save a lot of problems and aggravation. There are plenty of single women to date.

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Alex F August 21, 2012 at 14:00

@ Darryl X

“Women are very deceptive and fraudulent and manipulative. Pure evil. Pretty much whenever a woman says or writes something, disregard it as bullshit and you will be correct almost all the time. And a lot safer. This is statistically correct. Women lie compulsively and pathologically. They are for the most part incapable of telling the truth.”

This comes across as paranoid ranting – don’t mean that offensively, I like many of your comments, but this is just the kind of thing that makes people dismiss the MRM.

Of course women are not “for the most part incapable of telling the truth” – most people most of the time tell the truth, unless they are afflicted with some sort of delusionary illness such as schizophrenia. It takes a huge amount of effort to lie frequently, and to then keep up all your lies. People usually notice within days (I’ve known a couple of genuine pathological liars – one woman, one man – and it becomes very obvious very quickly). Women would all have to be criminal masterminds to get away with being “incapable of telling the truth” for any significant time frame. Of course they DO lie in some situations, but being capable of lying is extremely different to being incapable of telling the truth.

I have never before heard any theories indicating that female hormones or neurology interfere with their truth-telling abilities (and I’ve read quite widely in this area). More prone to mood-swings, emotional outbursts, irrationality, yes, but not to pathological lying.

The name gives the game away – “pathological”. A pathology means something is sick, it has gone wrong. It would be absurd to argue all women are born “sick and wrong”. Nature and evolution simply would not permit this. Occasional malfunctions do of course occur in nature, but not uniformly to 50% of the population over many millenia.

Further, any psychiatrist will tell you that what causes pathological lying is early traumatic experience. The causes of it are reasonably well understood – it is a sociopathic personality disorder. Again, “disorder” – it would be absurd to claim 50% of the population are born “disordered”.

Feminism has sent many women insane, and so they do demonstrate many of the traits you mention. But they’re not born this way. Female nature is not intrinsically devious and evil. That is NOT to say women may not be more prone to bad behaviour than men, but we have to get things into perspective, to avoid throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

Are you familiar with David Icke? He has lots of very valuable, very accurate stuff to say on the state of the world and corruption of governments etc – but then he also claims the Queen is a lizard and the moon is a spaceship; so people dismiss everything he says at the rantings of a paranoid lunatic. No-one wants the MRM to go the same way.

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Huck Finn August 21, 2012 at 14:09

The only woman that will not stab you in the back or go psycho on you is Rosey Palm. You can trust her.

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Anacaona August 21, 2012 at 14:50

Is there a manosphere blog that comments on how the different cultures each affect ltrs?

I think this is an unexplored area that deserves more information for anyone thinking on expating.
I would like to add my two cents at this idea as a Latina (Dominican) happily married to a wonderful American citizen and waiting for our first child to arrive :) .
Is a mistake to sell the idea that if you expat you just need to open your hand and a bunch of quality women will fall in your lap, there is a need of filtering as on anything else.
Don’t get me wrong there are good things about expating in general terms: Most expats don’t believe on no fault divorce meaning that if you don’t cheat, don’t abuse, don’t drink the money away aka you are a decent human being you are going to find few foreign women that are going to leave/cheat on you because “they love you but they are not in love with you” , the concept of marital rape is the old one of forcible rape so little chances of that happening, no woman on her sane mind would deny sex to her husband without a real good reason (disease or exhaustion) unless she wants him to find another woman for whatever reason, we are very aware that man are sexual creatures and denying sex is not a good strategy no matter what specially for long periods of time, a step father is never a substitution for the biological father so there is a lot more care on trying to keep the marriage intact, regardless of how much money it can be gained, of course this is her culture if she gets assimilated you are likely screw, more about this later.
Of course like I say this are general terms there is like in every other culture women/sluts that are out of get the best for them and wrecking havoc in a family is not beyond then but this are usually easy to spot if you know what to look for.
For example the way the family of hers treats you is a huge indicator of what are her intentions, if you are compelled to pay for meals, presents for all the family most of the time and too early (or they sell you the sad story of how her family member is sick and needs money) that is a sign you are the international ATM for her…abort!
No matter how poor they should be generous with you and not a burden if they consider you part of the family and a good long time prospect for their girl.
Not having any family or just one male around is also a sign of a clever slut/prostitute that wants your money/visa. Is hard for a latina not to have any sort of family at all with our huge birthrates and social pressure so if her family is not around she probably did something really shameful to them, or ran way from home to “live her life” you don’t want to take a risk on that.
Also “slutty friends = slutty woman” another red flag, good girls can have one slutty cousin/friend that they have to tolerate for whatever reason but chances are she will avoid introducing you to her and try to show you around with the close ones, but if all her friends give you the vibe run for the hills, again clever slut looking for a visa or future divorce settlement.
Another mistake is to try to change her into the best of the west and without the worst of her culture. Intermarriage is about compromise and assimilation you will have to learn and accept certain quirks and she will have to assimilate part of your culture too, this is the part that makes it work but if both of you like each other for real it will work out. Trying to americanize her 100% will end up in her becoming an amerobitch (the term used here) or resenting you so much that she will want to go back home, taking the kids back to her culture, few people want to feel inferior around anyone so if you are constantly putting down things she likes about her culture she will eventually assume that this is the reason you marry her and find a way out, IMO.
My best advice would be find a male friend that is happy with his expat regardless nationality and have her to introduce you to single friends and relatives that she left back home or that she has in her new circle of friends. She will have an incentive to find the best she can get for you because she wouldn’t want to let down any of her husband’s friends and chances are she will know other good girls, YMMV.
Hope that helps.

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Art Vandelay August 21, 2012 at 15:08

Further, any psychiatrist will tell you that what causes pathological lying is early traumatic experience. The causes of it are reasonably well understood – it is a sociopathic personality disorder. Again, “disorder” – it would be absurd to claim 50% of the population are born “disordered”.

I agree with most of what you say. However, in this case one should consider that psychiatrists have already diagnosed a very large percentage of the population with depression, and the disorder of “obesity” affects also a huge (literally) part of the population. So it doesn’t need to be rare to be considered a disorder.

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Anon66 August 21, 2012 at 15:34

I married a russian woman. Russian describes her accent and that is about it. She is a woman and behaves pretty much like american women at this point. Don’t fool yourself that russian women are any different.
If we want to fix the issues we have to get the laws changed. Get rid of spousal rape, get rid of primary aggressor, make the person who has custody responsible for paying the bills, etc…
Both men and women have faults. They are different faults but neither gender is perfect. If laws advantage one group over the other then that group will take advantage of the other. Today all laws advantage women and so we have the mess that we have and many women are, rightfully, viewed with contempt.

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Ragnar August 21, 2012 at 15:51

Alex F.
The early breakthrough for the mens movement did not come about by talking sense to anyone, least of all women.
It was ranting and harsh words combined with ridicule and a little tactic. Tactic like two MRA’s talking about and commenting a feminist in a thread without ever addressing her at all. Pretending she doesn’t exist, that is like pushing her “ignore button” – very effective – LOL!
Your point is well made, but I do not think we are anyway near formal representation yet and our rantings get through to the men and boys it need to.
If main stream media gives us some space or interest it also could be a better tactic to give them a barrage of dirty rantings and leave the reasonable, logical discussions to the internet (there ar emany places for us today) where the msm have no say. There is no reason to engage in a debate with feminised, cultural marxist or socialconstructivist “scholars” which is what we will encounter if accepting invitations from the msm. To a large extent the msm is just as much “the enemy” as academia and politicians.
We need to consolidate much harder before retrying the reasoanble way.
[Can't find the link at Angry Harry's place recommending something like this, i.e. the angry activism.]

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Uncle Elmer August 21, 2012 at 16:27

Well, I didn’t get fired today. But I am committed to being more Walter White, like Woody Allen aping Humphrey Bogart.

“That puts you about 4 standard deviations from the mean, I’d guess. You’ll have more sex in the next three months than the average 55 year old man will have in the rest of his life.”

She’s going home for 7 weeks while I spend some time with Elmer Sr.

It’ s gonna be excruciating. Hoping in the near future we can both live at her family’s house in Saigon for awhile. May take Hermann for an extended tour through the area, complete with steam bath.

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Attila August 21, 2012 at 16:29

I have worked with a Japanese-American woman and must say that she probably takes the cake (or close to it) when it comes to APPEARING subservient – but is a chronic and depressing whiner, is extremely cynical and manipulative, and oozes self-pity. Anyone spending more than 1 minute in her presence will have all desire to live evaporate—it is that bad.

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bruno August 21, 2012 at 16:56

” At that point, sex is usually cut off, and she has complete control of the money in the relationship, able to deny her husband anything ”

That’s the key to understand women.

Women are prostitutes, they sell sex for money.

It was always like that, and it will always be like that.
Money is the most important for them, everything they do in life is in the perspective of getting money without having to work.

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Silent August 21, 2012 at 18:42

Off topic
Peter Schiff (economist) is a red pill man. Witness the discussion about the Akin brouhaha and his position on feminism/date rape

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Jean Valjean August 21, 2012 at 18:59

Thanks Yinjia for reinforcing my belief that getting married to any woman anywhere is a bad idea.

BTW we feel the same way about misandry that you feel about misogyny. It’s everywhere and none of us are safe.

Of course you get VAWA don’t you?

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Manlyman August 21, 2012 at 19:58

@Wanderer and Anonymous:

Ballz. Grow some.

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will August 21, 2012 at 20:55

@Alex F

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?

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Turbo the Drycleaner August 21, 2012 at 22:17

its not that women are pathological liars. its just that they have a massive blind spot where team vagina is concerned.

even my own mother is guilty of this. Despite being a very smart lady who agrees with a good deal of what we say here, an excellent wife who treats my father very well, and a great mother, she will whoop and holler with the biggest baddest feminist when women are admitted into the augusta national. she will tell me about how horrible it is to be paid less than a man for the same work. she will spout all sorts of feminist nonsense, but if you muted her and only watched her actions youd never guess it.

As one commenter put it ive noticed that unless they are competing for men women will generally stick together, regardless of age, race, or anything else, in a bizarre, hivemind-like way. As if they all attended secret meetings where they are told to all say the same thing. Whereas men tend to go their own way or stick together in a small group.

…As a side note, when did we start taking people who sling the M word at people, or entire cultures even, seriously? The idea that japanese men or japanese culture is misogynistic is absurd. Men and women in Japan have been straying in their marriages for a long, long time, as sexual deviancy is not a taboo in shinto or any native japanese religion. Japanese people are a product of their culture and as the original poster noted, even when the women had a choice and didnt have to deal with straying husbands, they still expected and preferred it. Just because that isnt how we typically do things over here doesnt mean its wrong.

we are struggling here in the US after just 60 years of institutionalized misandry; what makes you think that japan could last for several thousand years with misogyny?

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Raj August 21, 2012 at 23:55

Anonymous age 70
“When women can get money without working they tend to treat their husbands as disposable, because they are. When a nation has no significant welfare system, women cling to their husbands like a life preserver.”

^ Truth.

Anyone who thinks foreign women are more ethical is a fool.

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walking in hell2 August 22, 2012 at 00:51

This is a good article, but I don’t trust some of it because it comes from an American female. Nonetheless, there is some useful information here.

I would like to see someone do an article on strategies for men who are already married.

For example, if a man is married but does not have children, and he is smart enough to realize that he is involved in one of the biggest frauds ever foisted on men, and if he has children, he has a 25% of losing his children, what are his options for cost effectively and safely getting out of the marriage?

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jaego August 22, 2012 at 01:00

Confucius himself found women frustrating. He found it difficult to establish balance with them – they would be completely standoffish or overly familiar. If you want them to talk they will say nothing – other times they will not shut up.

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David Collard August 22, 2012 at 03:14

I have sometimes wondered if introducing feminism to an enemy country would be good psychological warfare and tend to reduce morale, at least among the men. The following is interesting:

“Anna Ardin/Bernardin is a self-described feminist activist who has made accusations before – against her own students – and was thrown out of Cuba for her involvement with a right wing, CIA-supported feminist group.”

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migu August 22, 2012 at 04:03

Oh hell,

If you’re gonna get married, go for it. Just know what you’re getting into. And another thing. As soon as a power struggle ensues, the relationship is over.

The first indication of a power play is compromise. I’ll use an easy example. Dinner plans:

You: burgers
Her: tacos

Compromise: (a synonym for fail) lets get Chinese

Cooperation: you both go to the store and buy taco and Burger fixings. Then you go home, she makes her tacos, you make a Burger, then have sex. Win!!!

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Alex F August 22, 2012 at 04:21

@ Ragnar

I certainly see your point, but the simple fact is extremism doesn’t work. It radicalises a small proportion of an otherwise helpful movement, and then isolates them from the rest of the culture in which they exist, who just see them as lunatics.

To effect real change, one has to “play the game” to a certain extent. Feminists did that. They didn’t rely on their most radical defectors (Dworkin etc) – they distanced themselves from them. Feminism has swept through the West so effectively because it was presented so reasonably. Who could possibly object to such sensible, positive things as equality of opportunity and the end to oppression, after all?

Early feminists, however damaged they were as women, were very savvy and effective manipulators, and knew exactly how to use the language of liberation to convince scores of people, women and men alike, that the changes they were proposing were a beneficial thing for all.

The reason feminism got as far as it did is because it presented itself reasonably – granted, it’s fast coming off the rails now (and more and more people are realising this, which is why it’s such a vital time for the MRM), but lessons can be learned from this. The way to get people to listen and to effect change is to be reasonable.

And the MRM has one considerable advantage on its side feminism didn’t have – the truth. When you’re on the right side, ranting and raving just isn’t necessary. Simply holding up a mirror to the culture and contemporary women speaks for itself. The more this is done with reasoned precision, calm dignity, and controlled outrage, the more of an impact it will have (I would credit Mr. Price’s writing style with doing this very well).

Accusatory rants and over-the-top diatribes simply alienate people and make them tune out. Whereas when you state your case calmly and clearly, people will actually start to listen.

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walking in hell2 August 22, 2012 at 04:31

Here is a couple of links that show a good contrast between American and foreign culture.

This story appeared in a major American newspaper. Some guy grabbed an American girls ass, and now police are looking for him. If he gets caught, he will probably be sent to prison and registered as a sex offender. It is a joke that this story made it into a major newspaper. If the man should be punished at all, it is because he has such bad taste in women.|met:300|cat:0|order:3

Here is a story about a Russian man who grabbed 1000 pairs of breasts. Of course the Russian girls gave him permission, but could you imagine if he tried to do this in America? This video shows how fun loving Russian girls can be.

Hail Vladimir Putin for locking up Stinky Pussy Riot and sending a signal to the other young Russian Ladies. In America Pussy Riot would have received the presidential medal of honor.

When Ameriskanks make claims about sexual assault, stalking, etc, they should be reminded of how revolting their physical appearance and personality are, and that they should be flattered that anyone would pay any attention to them at all. Of course that assumes their claims are true, which is not likely.

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zimmy August 22, 2012 at 04:31

A few months ago I made the mistake of allowing a woman to roommate with me. Yep, she was an old friend and I knew her ex-husband as well.
No sex was involved. In fact, I do not see her in a sexual manner at all, although there is nothing wrong with her physically.

Well, slowly she started to make suggestions. She began to attempt to ‘take over’ my otherwise quiet domain. This surprised me as I did her a favor by letting her temporarily stay with me. I found myself not wanting to offend her but caught myself in time when it hit me that this was my home and not hers.

She was shocked when I asked her to find another residence. It was obvious that she didn’t even consider that I would ask her to leave.

The high degree of self-importance that women give themselves is
at an all time high. That’s why women can’t handle rejection.

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Two August 22, 2012 at 06:06

All the is saying is:


What she is doing is to block the Asians from “stealing” [her] white men… may be she might have a time of day with the white men who bypass her…

Nothing to see her guys.

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Rocco August 22, 2012 at 06:43

@ Alex F

Maybe you haven’t been doing MR blogs for as long as some. At first MRA’s were very polite. This went on for years. Nobody paid attention.

Then we used more colorful language and personal experiece and the MRM has taken off.

I agree that as we grow hyperbole won’t be necesary, IMO.

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Jerry August 22, 2012 at 09:14

This is one of the very best articles I’ve ever read on The Spearhead. There is no panacea. There is no refuge. There is no country where you can safely and happily marry. Asian women are not a viable option. Better to remain single.

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jack August 22, 2012 at 10:00

Japan has a higher standard of living than any Western country. Since women practice hypergamy, there’s little incentive for a Japanese woman to marry a gringo. Rather, you would expect gringo women to marry Japanese men (only the latter prefer to help themselves to brides in the neighbouring countries like Thailand, The Phillipines, Indonesia etc.). I never heard of a single man in my (EU) country who was on the look-out for a Japanese bride. So instead of choosing Japan as a bride-supplier to the Western man, you might nearly as well have chosen Saudi Arabia.

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Bellion August 22, 2012 at 11:17

Perhaps there is a little bit sour grapes in the original post. Tends to happen when women see guys getting attention overseas, genuine or faked (ex. sex tourism).

Yinjia is right about Japanese marriages though. Things tend to take a turn for the worst when you get married in Japan, and get even worse after having kids.

This article is six years old, but still being commented on even now. The sheer amount of marriage horror stories in the comments is enough to make you take a hard look at what you might be getting yourself into. Marriages are bad over here, but just a different flavor of bad overseas. (will note though, things seem pretty good as long as you don’t get married)

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Art Vandelay August 22, 2012 at 13:00

This is one of the very best articles I’ve ever read on The Spearhead. There is no panacea. There is no refuge. There is no country where you can safely and happily marry. Asian women are not a viable option. Better to remain single.

You don’t have to remain single, you just shouldn’t get married. I don’t get this kind of binary thinking that you have to either be married or be single. Happily ever after is a fantasy (just like having it all), better aim to be happy most of the time.

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A.D. August 22, 2012 at 14:51

The behavior the OP describes:
– and Western men especially are allowed to behave in a horrific fashion over there.
I call this the “Gaijin Rule”. The Gaijin Rule allows the expat to live in any way he/she chooses because they are not Japanese, or responsible for their actions; after all, they are gaijin and are not expected to know any better.
Personal accountability (barring serious crime) is non-existent, I’m a nice guy/dick because I’m a gaijin, not because A.D. is a nice guy/dick.

The notion about men behaving badly can be summed-up here:


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A.D. August 22, 2012 at 14:55

Oops. For anyone interested on what to expect from the J-wife.

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T August 22, 2012 at 16:22

to: gunner451

Your problem is the use of the word ‘submit’. Pull your head out of your @$$- women aren’t here to ‘submit’ to your leadership. You have no right to lead.

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Roger August 22, 2012 at 20:01

I’m recently divorced from a Japanese woman. My bride viewed sex as an obligation and innocently told me that it would stop when she was 40 or so. And she went crazy when I spent a few dollars without checking with her first.

Your Japanese wife will age better and stay thinner than an American, and she is much less likely to initiate divorce (in my case, I wanted the divorce, not her). But she is likely to be controlling about money and sex. I’ve rarely heard any exceptions to this.

If you are attracted to Asian women, and are a man who has trouble getting a thin, cute woman in the west , the expat life in Asia can seem like a panacea. But in the long run you will need to learn just as much “game” as you would have had to back home. It’s just that the rules are different. Go in with your eyes open and not expecting too much and you can be rewarded with a loyal, attractive partner. But the costs and dangers are high. Especially consider her family, the education of the children, and similar issues as well as the big ones, sex and money.

Currently enjoying the single life in Asia and dating women 15 years younger than me. Marriage? No thanks, whether western or Asian.

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Al Brankster August 22, 2012 at 20:07

This article is the observations (through a feminist colored lens) of an American female that is in the military (damaged goods) observing the relationships between men who are in the peacetime military (the lowest common denominator of American men) and Japanese women (probably the lowest women in Japanese society). In Japan as well as elsewhere, the average rank and file of American military personnel is considered to be one step above the criminal class and the only Japanese women that would be interested in them would be prostitutes and drug addicts. In poverty stricken countries, the situation would be different because the American GI is seen as a ticket out of poverty. Japan is a rich country and the girls don’t need to get out because of economic desperation.

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namae nanka August 22, 2012 at 20:52

“Feminism has swept through the West so effectively because it was presented so reasonably. Who could possibly object to such sensible, positive things as equality of opportunity and the end to oppression, after all?”

It wasn’t presented reasonably, they have been shrieking cunts right from the start. The sensible positive things are just shams, the reality is to use the banner of equality to take over men’s domains as if they fell from the skies and men just ran into them and locked the doors behind them. You should read some contrary opinions from the time when it was getting started and not the history that they have now instilled.

The radical-wing were marginalised? I don’t remember Mary Daly being ostracized.They were useful things for the state to then position itself along more moderate lines; what’s the point of thinking the radicals aren’t in power, when you keep slipping towards their viewpoint?

If anything, it’s Christina Hoff Sommers and her equity-feminism that is marginalised.

“being an unpleasant person is not a gender-specific trait. ”

being a nagging wife is. You are simply repeating feminist dogma verbatim. Thinking women are reasonable was the gravest mistake of western civilization.

“I certainly see your point, but the simple fact is extremism doesn’t work. ”

It does. It would have worked splendidly if every white-feather suffragete was promptly kicked into the river.

“When you’re on the right side, ranting and raving just isn’t necessary.”

Well it has worked amazingly well so far and honesty is the best policy.
The wage-gap histrionics outlasted Thomas Sowell’s youth, to the point that now the venerable she-he Rachel Maddow can simply do “nyah nyah, I can’t hear you” when someone tries to explain it to her.

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David Collard August 22, 2012 at 21:14

“Hail Vladimir Putin for locking up Stinky Pussy Riot and sending a signal to the other young Russian Ladies. In America Pussy Riot would have received the presidential medal of honor.”

I was delighted when those awful bitches got jailtime. As I wrote here:

Why should these women be allowed to go into a sacred space and insult believers? Too many women rely on men’s forebearance (eg. slutwalks). At least the Russians still have some balls.

One problem with Asian women and sex might simply be that Asian women reportedly have very low testosterone levels, which might make them simultaneously feminine and not very horny.

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dannyfrom504 August 22, 2012 at 23:33

i lived in Yokosuka for three years. i lived out among the local population. i only messed with on J-girl: my neighbor. however because we were neighbors she couldn’t let it develope into anything because her family would NOT approve, which was fine.

i knew A LOT of guys that maried local girls. 90% of them are still married. I left Yoko back in 2006. One of my friends trie to set me up with some of his wifes gf’s in yokohame, but i was already leaving for San Diego shortly.

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Kuis August 23, 2012 at 03:38

I don’t see how feminism is going to ruin a lot of the south east Asian countries for a while. Most of the countries are nowhere near affluent for that to happen. I think the real concern for men looking for wives in that territory is, if we are going to be consistent in our evaluation of the impact that culture has on the individual, we have to face the cold hard truth that these ladies are most likely poisoned from the get-go.

Is it any wonder that so many men complain that their ‘lovely’ Thai/Indonesian/Phillipina wife played a deadly game of bait and switch?

There are plenty of nice women in those countries, i’m sure, but there is also plenty of corruption. and in corrupt societies, you have to be suspicious of everyone.

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Ragnar August 23, 2012 at 11:24

Alex F.
“I certainly see your point, but the simple fact is extremism doesn’t work. It radicalises a small proportion of an otherwise helpful movement, and then isolates them from the rest of the culture in which they exist, who just see them as lunatics.”

What fact?
No, we got here because of men stood up and didn’t back down.
When standing up for your rights is extremism to your adversaries a consensus equals surrender!

That some mens impression of the Mens Movement get shattered and becomes uncomfortable to those men – doesn’t mean it’s not the right way to go.

I am always suspicious of people who want everybody to calm down before the battle, and it certainly aint over yet.

Here is some reading stuff;

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Ragnar August 23, 2012 at 11:59

Damn, can’t edit my post.

@ Alex F.
My harsh words aren’t so much directed at you as towards men in general. [For whatever it's worth]

It’s easy to enter a movement and hold the moral high ground.
If truth is with us, hasn’t it always been so, nothing new here. It just didn’t make a difference.
Like the priest telling the farmer that God makes miracles when watching his field together with him, and the farmer replies; “You should have seen the place when he was alone on the job!”
No, men made the difference in this fight, not truth nor reason.
They didn’t care, they still don’t care and we kid ourselves if we think otherwise.
To them we are racists, fascists, misogynists, chauvinists, rapists and violent loosers who watch porn and wanks off at our parents basement – I probably forgot some – the question is; “Do you still think we should smoke the peace pipe?”

[The regular disclaimer;
I do not condone violence of any kind, I just speak harsh words. There is also a usual difference in perception of things, when crossing the pond.]

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alpha August 23, 2012 at 12:52

To them we are racists, fascists, misogynists, chauvinists, rapists and violent loosers who watch porn and wanks off at our parents basement – I probably forgot some – the question is; “Do you still think we should smoke the peace pipe?”

and as for this article, sorry, but I call BS.

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Tom Smith August 23, 2012 at 13:16

There are several things one must review when taking into consideration marrying a foreigner. One is “how well do you (i.e. the American guy) understand the culture?” Another is “How hard is it to get divorced in the target country?” Finally, “What is the target country’s attitude toward sex?”

First, most Americans do not understand Japan. In fact, I would wager than less than one in ten Americans can speak even a little Japanese (meaning enough to carry on a conversation in Japanese). Thus, while it may be nice to have a Japanese girl as a sex-friend, marrying one without truly understanding the culture is extraordinarily dangerous.

Second, it is quite hard to get divorced in Japan. Essentially, the parties have to reach a settlement (and execute it) prior to a divorce being granted. This usually means a large transfer of money from husband to wife, because it’s a “one-off” payment without ongoing support after that. If it’s harder to get divorced, this may lead to a more “relaxed” view of infidelity on both sides in Japan- i.e. you need to stay married to “keep up appearances” and there’s a shame in getting divorced.

Third, for Japanese women (particularly the ones who are not Western educated), there’s no guilt attached to sex. However, at a certain point, there will be rationing, which is something no man (except a beta) can tolerate. This is a good thing for Western men initially, but I expect if the wife lives in the U.S. too long, the girl will be influenced.

In short, do not marry a foreigner until you at least understand her culture. Make sure you know what type of family involvement (from her extended family) you will face. IMO, better that both her parents are dead, and she’s over 25. Finally, determine whether she wants to speak her language or yours at home (better if you speak hers). And be prepared for compromises- and if she’s from a culture where you have to lie to get by, expect that you need to watch her to make sure she’s not lying to you (probably not a problem with a Japanese wife).

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Darryl X August 23, 2012 at 15:08

Alex F -

“This comes across as paranoid ranting – don’t mean that offensively, I like many of your comments, but this is just the kind of thing that makes people dismiss the MRM.”

Thanks for the comment and I am receptive to your concerns. There was a time when I thought that such a claim would sound like a paranoid rant and I’m sure some people (men and women) interpret it as such. And I wish it were and I wish I were paranoid and I wish my post was a rant. Unfortuntely, it is not. So your comment is a great opportunity for me to review the history of feminism and claims about men and some statistics that are easily verified. Not like the feminist bull0-shit such as one in four women on college campuses will be raped and twenty-five percent of all wives are/were abused by their husbands.

During the past forty-four years, aprpoximately one-half of all marriages have ended in divorce. During the forty-four years prior to that, less than ten percent did. Reports that two-thirds of these divorces are filed by wives is incorrect. It’s actually considerably more than that – more likely the incidence approximates 75%. But that is who files and not who initiates. Many women leave their husbands for another man (or for whatever reason) but do not file and the husband has to file for his wife which leaves a record which underrepresents initiation of divorce by wives. The actual number of wives actually initiating divorce more likel approximates eighty-percent.

Before forty-four years ago, the percent of marriages ending in divorce was less than ten-percent, with husbands and wives filing in about equal numbers and mutual initiation about the same as either husbands or wives. About three-percent each. Or less. These numbers can be easily ascertained by consulting the Dept of the Census and other sources of data like the Heritage Foundation.

Starting about forty-four years ago, approximately eighty-percent of marriages ended in divorce which were initiated by wives. At least. But taking a conservative interpretaton of data, let’s say eighty-percent. Approximately forty-percent of marriages. During the past forty-four years, approximately two-thirds of the adult population have been married. More Baby-boomers and Greatest Generation than Gen Xers and Millenials.

Number of Baby-boomers and Greatest Generation who were married is more than two-thirds of the adult cohorts but for Gen Xers and Millenials, one-third or less. The size of the cohorts (generations) differ considerably however. Baby-boomers and Greatest Generation are approximately 200-million people. Adult Gen Xers and Millenials is less than 100-million. Total population of the US approximates 350-million.

As you can see, given the sharp contrast between the divorces before and after forty-four years ago, most divorces after forty-four years ago were initiated unilaterally by the wife. The remaining twenty-percent of divorces not initiated by wives are about evenly divided between those initiated by husbands and mutual initiation. Approximately ten-percent initiated by husbands. So the number initiated by wives exceeds the number initiated by husbands by a multiple of about eight. These are conservative estimates based upon data from a variety of sources. Anyone is free to disagree and present better estimates or numbers. I think these are reasonable though.

Approximately forty percent of divorces (or more) are initiated by the wife and are unilateral, meaning the husband did not agree to the divorce and the wife violated the marriage contract. In approximately ninety-percent of these instances, the wife refused obstinately to share parenting and instead chose to pursue sole legal and physical custody so she could get child support and/or alimony as well as a hefty property settlement.

Even though she initiated the divorce without agreement by her husband. She violated the marriage contract and it was not upheld by the courts and she was not punished for violating the marriage contract and was actually rewarded for it. In cooperation with the Divorce Industry and the State and federal gov’t, she defrauded her husband. It was a choice. She knew what she was doing and it is wrong and she used the children to do it and she profitted from it but she did it anyway. Evil. Criminal.

These four generations comprise approximately 240-million adults, or 120-million men. Approximately one-third of these adult men were defrauded by their wives. So, just concerning marriage and divorce, one-third of all adult women have committed egregious crimes against their own husbands and children and got away with it. That’s approximately one-half of all children in the US. Approximately one-half of those children never see their fathers again (one-quarter of all children). The other half seperated from their fathers after divorce (another quarter of all children for half of all children) only see their fathers a few days a month if they are lucky. There are an awful lot of people in this country defrauded by one-third of adult women.

But prior to forty-four years ago, there were not that many people defrauded in divorce or marriage by men. The difference is staggering. And most divorces by men prior to forty-four years ago were usually for valid reasons. The wife/mother was insane, she committed adultery, she was abusive. Maybe likewise for the wife divorceing her husband. But today. Most women divorce men for no legitimate or practical reason. She’s just doing it for her own immediate gratification and profit. And the husbands today likely have very good reason most of the time to divorce their wives when incidence of adultery and paternity fraud and abuse is considered.

Statisitcally speaking, this number is astronomical. Even if the number were only a statistically significant one (approximately five-percent), it would have profound implications (“significant” is an important scientific term, “importance” is another). If five-percent is significant, then one-third or thirty-three-percent is important. With that many women defrauding so many men and children, would you trust any of them. And those are only the ones who had opportunity. Who were married and for which divorce was profitable. There are many who are dishonest who simply couldn’t divorce because they weren’t married or didn’t have any children. Or the husband had no money so there was no benefit to divorce.

Let’s write about paternity fraud. Concerning volumes of data from genetic marker analyses and studies (not specifically concerning paternity but unrelated phenomena like heritable diseases for instance). Those studies show incidence of paternity fraud from six-percent to fourteen-percent (in the US and Canada). So with all the studies, I and other scholars have settled on reporting the incidence of paternity fraud at approximately ten-percent. It may not be exact and it certainly has some term of error associated with it. But this is a reasonable number. But it’s not the whole story. That in itself speaks volumes about the frequency of dishonesty among the female population.

When a mother is identified as committing paternity fraud (and not punished in almost all instances), there was a fifty-percent chance that the child could have been her husband’s or that of her paramour. Meaning that actual paternity fraud happened on fifty-percent of the time. Another fifty-percent of the time, her husband was the actual father, but she wasn’t sure about that. So she was guilty of paternity fraud ten-percent of the time (ten-percent of children are examples and victims of paternity fraud) but the mother/wife isn’t sure twenty-percent of the time. Ten-percent plus ten-percent. It just happens that 50% of the time, her husband actually is the father and not her paramour. But she doesn’t know that and she doesn’t care. Do you trust women who can do this? I don’t.

During the past forty-four years, the number of children born out of wed-lock has grown spectacularly. From around three-percent of children in 1967 to two-thirds during 2011. I had to check and recheck and verify those numbers and they are in fact correct. I have not reviewed every single year so I can’t give you a breakdown by generation or cohort or averages thereof but you can see the rise is staggering. Furthermore, approximately 25% of mothers during the past three years do not even know who the father of their childre are or have at least misrepresented it on birth certificates. Approximately fifteen-percent don’t even list the father on the birth certificate. Another ten-percent (those guilty of paternity fraud) list the wrong father. Another ten-percent (for a total of 35%) list the correct father but don’t know they have done this because they don’t know who the father is but got it right since they had a 50% chance of getting it right (it was either her husband’s or the paramour’s). Pretty sick women. Huh?

Let’s consider the reasons for divorce. We all know based upon studies by scientists like Daniel Whitaker that women are responisble for more domestic violence in initmate partner relationships than men. We also know that most “domestic violence” initiated by men is not real domestic violence but self-defense or defense of children. But that most domestic violence by women is offensive and without sense or reason but because “he was not being sensitive to her emotional needs”. Really nuts. A man who strikes his wife because she struck him first for not being sensitive to her emotional needs really needed to get struck. I don’t call it domestic violence. But researchers do anyway and we’ll go with their interpretation. Since the mother gets custody in approximately ninety-percent of divorces, the judge must have some reason, right? What do you think that reason is? Probably domestic violence or child abuse. And if it isn’t, then the decision is simply arbitrary and the father and children have been punished as if he had committed domestic violence or child abuse. So it doesn’t matter. If there were no false allegations by the mothers and the courts weren’t sexist, all of custody would be shared parenting or half would be mother only and half father only. But that’s not the case. Ninety-percent mothers. Common reason is false allegations of domestic violence in complete disproportion to studies that show clearly that women are responsible for most domestic violence.

I can go on. But I think with the huge numbers of women in the population responsible for deliberately defrauding men (using false allegations of real and serious crimes) and the rest of their communities, I was not writing in hyperbole. A man and anyone is best simply dismissing anything a woman (all women) says or writes as bullshit. Women have cried wolf too many times. Let’s not forget rape statistics and the Innocence Project and studies about percent of rapes not founded (no evidence that rape even occurred) or that there was concrete evidence the woman lied about a rape. Real rape. The content of this post and for many other very good reasons, I stronly encourage any man to support withdrawal of suffrage from women. They simply can’t be trusted to behave honestly and responsibly. And yes, men are much different and history of marriage and domestic violence allegations and rape and many other phenomena show that decisively.

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bruno August 23, 2012 at 15:14

” In short, do not marry a foreigner until you at least understand her culture ”

First: don’t marry anybody.
Second: don’t worry about her culture, just never forget that a woman is always a woman, no matter what is her culture.

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Stallywood August 23, 2012 at 15:20

I had no idea that Japanese wives were like this, I mean NO ideal whatsoever. I grew up as an Air Force brat, so I saw a lot of these marriages, and the only one that I knew was messed up, was the one with a Korean woman. May be at the time, I just did not know what to look for, but even now, I wonder if Japanese women are so bad, why are there so many men (American), who marry them? In all my years as an Air Force brat, I never heard a bad word about them. Likewise during my years in the Navy. I guess its because they the men, are idiots

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Darryl X August 23, 2012 at 15:52

Good opportunity to remind everyone that we are not fighting for men’s rights. The rights of men are inalienable and are given to us by God and only God can take them away. I’ve never liked the terms “men’s rights” “men’s rights movement” for that reason. It implies that we are fighting for something that has been taken away from us. I’m a man. You can take a lot of things away from me. My kids. My money. My freedom. But you can’t take my manhood away from me. This movement is not about asserting our rights as men. Those rights are inalienable. We are fighting to destroy feminism. Feminism has destroyed real femininity and womanhood. It has turned all women into prostitutes and used them to corrupt civilization the way feminists use children to satisfy their addiction to power and control. We can never assert our inalienable rights as men beneath the umbrella a a brutal feminist regime. Feminism must be destroyed. Our rights are already intact. It’s the context that’s the problem.

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Kris August 23, 2012 at 16:02

For those who are slamming her, just go to and read the comments by the men. They make the same complaints. I don’t think other asian women are like that. Visitation laws are especially harsh. I don’t recommend japanese women for that reason.

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Ragnar August 23, 2012 at 17:33

“Feminism must be destroyed. Our rights are already intact. It’s the context that’s the problem.#
Kudoss for that sentence Darryl X. :)

Alpha is probably just as tired of words as we are, but feminism must go There can be no consenses.

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David Collard August 23, 2012 at 19:22

The 10% non-paternity claim is probably too high:

I do think that DarrylX’s general point, that women cannot be trusted a lot of the time, is probably true. Schopenhauer was correct. Women lack mental and physical strength, so they must depend on deception.

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yinjia August 23, 2012 at 23:29

Oh, wow, didn’t expect this… let me try to address some of this, okay? I’m on night shift right now, and I might not have been as articulate as I ought to have been…

I wasn’t trying to make sweeping generalizations about the behavior of all Asian women, based on those Japanese women one finds in Tokyo who are after the American guys. I’ve heard some lovely things about Korean and Thai women, and terrible things about Chinese. And of course, some people never experience these sorts of cultural problems with their Japanese wives (but usually, it’s because she’s willing to give up some of her own culture and adopt America’s). It was more a comment about how deeply culture affects us all, and how going overseas for a wife doesn’t necessarily lead to an easier time of things. Underneath it all, women are all wired in the same way, and unless one makes a conscientious effort to avoid it, we all engage in similar manipulative behaviors. A different culture just offers us a different set of tools for that manipulation. In actuality, it might make it harder to deal with a foreign woman, because you’re up against a culture (and thus, a methodology of manipulation) that’s not going to be well-known to you. And the guy is always, always, going to lose that kind of fight.

Tokyo is a strange place. Pornography is ubiquitous and strange (the type that squicked me out the most was one where it’s just girls in white bathing suits… but because they’re clothed there’s no minimum age on the girls. And, of course, tentacle and rope-binding and all that other crap). Love hotels are everywhere, mostly because Japanese value their privacy and apartment walls are paper thin, but some do cater to weird tastes (from what I understand, we had a guy in my squadron who was into trans* women who’d talk about this stuff sometimes – sex toy vending machines in the lobbies and all kinds of kink equipment in the rooms, etc). We had a vending machine just off base that sold used girls’ panties. We had an O-Call one time where they brought in a couple of Japanese men dressed up in traditional geisha clothing to flirt with our commander as a joke. It could just be Tokyo and those bases around it (the rest of the country is lovely, rural, and peaceful), but the fact remains that there’s a lot of strange sexual stuff to be found in Japan. It bled over into base culture in a lot of bad ways.

I don’t hate men, I’m no feminist. I’ve had a good friend destroyed by a spurious sexual harrasssment charge, and I despise the power they’ve given us women over men in this regard. I went to a military college. I’ve got a very thick skin. It takes a lot to bother me. I understand that I inhabit a man’s world. But there are lines that shouldn’t, no matter the situation, be crossed. So when my flight commander was willing to brag in public about how he literally *bought* his last wife from Thailand when she was only 16, my supervisor (who referred to his daughter as “it”) was constantly telling me how cute I looked in my PT gear, when I’d walk in on group conversations amongst the airmen about how they think I’d look naked, my fellow el-tees insisted on having graphic conversations about the Tokyo porn stores around me after I asked them to stop, or married enlisted men in the squadron were propositioning me for sex on a near-constant basis (some of the guys get tired of the skinny, no-curve Japanese girls after a while), I took issue with it. And our base culture was such that when I finally had a breakdown over it, our squadron first sergeant asked me why, if I was having such a hard time with not getting sex, I didn’t just go downtown and “scratch the itch”. Our deputy commander offered, in a very professional fashion, to set me up with one of his friends, “if you need to get laid”. Our commander couldn’t understand why I had a problem with any of this.

It wasn’t just me, either. I had a female airman who’d been so traumatized by the things said and done to her that she got married just to stop the harrassment. I don’t know a single girl (who didn’t fit that sleeping-around-the-world stereotype) who had an enjoyable time there, in the face of all of this. It was a very abnormal environment.

While I’m not normally one to care about guys being guys (I saw just about everything there is to see when I was at the Academy), what got to me in Japan was how sex-soaked the base culture was and how it brought out the worst in the men around me and lowered the respect threshold to basically nil for ALL women. I understand that for some guys, it was an absolute candyland, and not everybody wallowed in the mud, so to speak, but still. It was the other extreme end of the spectrum and I would argue that it’s not healthy. We had a lot of broken marriages coming out of that place.

I’m no feminist. I do, however, agree with the basic statement somebody made above about how I’m “damaged goods”. As a military female – we aren’t even called “women” in the service, but “female” – I realize that I’ve abdicated some basic element of feminity in the eyes of most men. It’s a quite real, and at times, painful thing. I’m quite aware of it. Civilians don’t usually want us. Military men tend to see us as either sluts or dykes (there’s some tension with me on that – I’ve got red hair and I’ve been told I’m pretty, which would normally qualify me for the former category, but I’ve also never slept around, which means I usually get accused of being the latter). I’m the kind of woman who wants to get married, stay at home with her kids, support her husband, and so on, but men don’t look at you twice once the uniform goes on (unless, of course, you’re a slut). We didn’t all join up to sleep our way around the world. For those of us who don’t want to be the unit bicycle, it can be pretty lonely.

Sure, it colored my perspective on Japan a bit, but wouldn’t you find it painful to watch your friends date people you know are going to rip them to shreds in fifteen years, when you’re the kind of woman who wants to be a good wife, and doesn’t think you’ll ever get the opportunity because you’re beyond below consideration in the eyes of your potential dating group? It’s a frustrating position to be in…

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yinjia August 24, 2012 at 00:06

@Uncle Elmer

To address your sour grapes thing, I spent most of my high school years with my head down, trying to do the best I could in school, and I went into a service academy when I was eighteen. Nobody was ever interested in me. Not in high school, definitely not in college. At least, not that I was aware of. The only overt sexual attention I’ve ever received was in Japan and it wasn’t flattering; it was actually somewhat terrifying in its scope and intensity. It was not the way I wanted to deal with male attention for the first time in my life. There are a lot of guys who get sick of Japanese girls who turn back to the Western ones, after all. I could have had any man in my squadron that I wanted but the only thing I wanted was for it to stop. I’ve been back in the States for two years now, and yeah, zero attention once again. It’s been a much-needed respite, actually, even if it does suck to be alone.

There’s no jealousy here. It was just an observation. I didn’t mean for my personal experience with guys to become the focus of this. I’ve just seen too many guys made miserable by that “Asian women are awesome” meme, and all I wanted to do was point that out. It’s hard to discuss the reasons why that’s flawed logic without discussing a bit of my own background with it. But I guess it’s easier to assume I’m attacking Japanese women out of jealousy than letting an American woman offer a different perspective on the subject of marrying foreign women, right? I get that a lot of guys around here have been hurt by women they thought they could trust – and I’m so sorry my gender’s got so many manipulative members in it – but we’re not all nefarious, promise.

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yinjia August 24, 2012 at 00:49

@ Geography Bee Finalist himself

The point about the kids? The kind of demands placed on Japanese children, starting at 4 or 5 years of age, are so far beyond what’s done here in the States it’s almost difficult to wrap one’s head around. It’s a cultural thing, and I wouldn’t call it abusive or anything, but it’s certainly far, far different from anything you’d see but from the most insanely obsessive parents here in America. They go to school six days a week, and spend most of their afternoons/evenings at additional classes or studying (well, most of them). You see little kids on the trains by themselves, coming home at 8 or 9 at night. It’s a crazy amount of stress on children. There’s a reason why Japan has one of the highest teen suicide rates in the world. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be raising kids with two parents who hold completely different ideas about that sort of thing – unless the mother is willing to raise the kids completely American, or the father completely Japanese, there are inevitably going to be problems. Sometimes they’re minor, sometimes they’re not. Most American military boys, who are just excited about that a gorgeous Japanese girl is interested in them, aren’t thinking about those kind of long-term elements of a marriage.

This was my main point in bringing this up. For some guys, Asian women are just a kink/convenient/a better option, and when it settles into a long-term relationship dynamic, undiscussed issues are going to crop up. I’m sure this happens in every marriage, but it seems to me like those necessary questions about kids (or religion, that’s another big one I saw, like one of our sergeant’s wives who pitched a fit when he wanted to have their first-born baptised) are especially likely to go unasked in this sort of situation, and will be especially aggravated by cultural differences.

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Darryl X August 24, 2012 at 05:54

@ David Collard re August 23, 2012 at 19:22 -

“The 10% non-paternity claim is probably too high:”

I am receptive to your scepticism. The 10% report for paternity fraud is a conclusion made by many scholars (scientists, particularly medical researchers) including myself independently and based upon hundreds of related studies concerning misassignment of paternity. The 10% figure is very reliable and likely the most accurate description of our circumstances based upon application of the Scientific Method. The Scientific Method although not infallible is less infallible than all other ways humans describe the world around them. it is also the most quantitative.

The article to which you link is just one study that reports an incidence lower than 10%. But there are many reports of much lower incidence as well as much higher. The data I and others have used are very conservative. For instance, I dismissed data from a study showing 30% paternity fraud because the population from which samples were taken is only of men who had their children tested. So the results do not reflect the population of men but only a population of men who were identified as fathers and then were suspicious enough to get a paternity test. The results are skewed in favor of paternity fraud. Those data were not included.

Also, my conclusion goes beyond that of all other scientists with whom I am familiar and doesn’t just identify or quantify incidence of paternity fraud but actually identifies the incidence of which a mother does not know who the father of her children is but identifies him anyway (and is correct – she’s still being deceptive but the results aren’t paternity fraud but she doesn’t know that and she doesn’t care – she’s evil). She has a equal chance of getting it right and is correct half the time and incorrect the other half. So the incidence of actual paternity fraud is 10% of children but the incidence of unknown paternity is 20% – she’s correct half the time and it’s not paternity fraud and incorrect the other half which is where the paternity fraud comes in.

Both numbers have staggering implications for trustworthiness and credibility of women. Even when you consider a study that identifies the lowest incidence of actual paternity fraud at 6%, when you consider that the 12% of mothers in the study didn’t know who the fathers are but were correct in identifying him half the time (6%) and not the other half (6% paternity fraud for a total of 12%), numbers this large just concerning something as important as paternity should raise important questions about women and their credibility.

Approximately two-thirds of adult women in the US during the past forty-four years are mothers. Approximately 20% of them have defrauded two men (the ral father and the father to which paternity has been misassigned whether the mother is correct or not) about paternity. That’s 13% of the entire adult female population in the US during the past forty-four years has committed a serious crime against two men. And not been punished. The implications for civilization are comprehensive and staggering.

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Darryl X August 24, 2012 at 06:21

@ David Collard -

“I have sometimes wondered if introducing feminism to an enemy country would be good psychological warfare and tend to reduce morale, at least among the men.”

Someone can correct me on this but I have read reports and supporting documentation in the past that Gloria Steinem was funded by the CIA for starting Cosmopolitan (a very feminist rag). That rag has been an important tool for indoctrinating women into the cult of feminism. I think the CIA has already helped introduce and spread feminism as a tool of war against men in the US already (as well as other countries I’m sure). Feminism is a very important mechanism with which our feminist governments oppress men in their populations. That ship sailed a long time ago.

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crella August 24, 2012 at 06:29

‘For those who are slamming her, just go to and read the comments by the men. ‘

Well, as far as Japan-based sites go, Japan Today is kinda the dregs….a lot of posters on there are just making stuff up….the site owner admits that only 30% of those registered actually live in Japan.

The saddest marriage stories usually start out with ‘I met her in a bar’ or ‘I met her outside the base’….this country is a country of connections and introductions, you won’t find a good wife in a bar (a gaijin bar especially) any more than you would in the US.

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Darryl X August 24, 2012 at 06:36

@ Alex F -

“I certainly see your point, but the simple fact is extremism doesn’t work.”

The feminists are already extreme. They have for all intents and purposes wiped out civilization. There is no solution to our dilemma except that which our forefathers left us: Revolution as an affirmative defense of the (extreme) violence done to us first by feminists without provocation.

I think many people fail to understand the suffering so many men and children have endured at the hands of feminists. That suffering must be ended. Feminists interpret complaint or appeal to them as evidence in their success in oppressing us and encourages them to impose upon us more. The only way to stop them is with force.

Feminists are malignant narcissists. They have no conscience. They are manipulative and deceiptful. They are parasitic, opportunistic and predatory. They have no analytical skills. They are short-sighted and unable to plan ahead. They lie compulsively and pathologically. They are solipsistic and respond to reason and sense and objective analysis with emotional arguments and bullshit.

You can not appeal to someone like this, especially when they command all our political, legal, social and financial institutions. They have imposed upon us political and legal and financial solutions for ostensibly or perceived social problems that don’t even exist but for the sole purpose of satisfying their addiction to power and control.

Child support, anyone? Our governments kidnap children from fathers and hold them hostage and exchange the ransom with mothers and other women for votes and power and control. It is not the only mechanism with which feminists (malignant narcissists) oppress others with their tyrannical rule.

We real men are all real victims of a post-feminist dystopian fascist police state hell-bent on destroying real men and the civilization we’ve built. I hard for me to understand how so many fail to understand the implications of the past forty years of history and feminist rule.

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Darryl X August 24, 2012 at 06:56

@ Alex F -

Men are slaves today. Once a man can’t pay his child support because the gov’t has denied him a job which pays enough to pay it, the gov’t denies him any public assistance and throws him in jail for being to poor to pay. It breaks him and then punishes him for being broken. All this time, the gov’t denies the man and his children access to one another, lying to the public that he is a criminal and irresponsible when just the opposite is true. The gov’t uses this mechanism and many other dishonest ones to transfer vast amounts of wealth from the most responsible to the most irresponsible, ensalving the most responsible. The gov’t punishes responsible behavior, scholar, education, accomplishment and contribution. And in many instances, uses children as an excuse to do it. How low can a gov’t get. All it takes for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing. Ayn Rand wrote, “You can ignore the truth, but you cannot ignore the consequences of the truth.” Our circumstances are extreme and require an extreme response, otherwise our government will continue exterminating men. And that extermination will accelerate as the deterioration of our respective countries accelerates. At what threshold will good men actually do something? What will it take. Look where we are. How much worse does it have to get before good men do something to stem the proliferation of evil as it is illustrated quantitatively. For some of us, we don’t have much longer. And for some who believe they can save themselves by throwing the rest of us under the bus, well, we know how that works. Eventually, the gov’t gets to everyone. You might be further back in the queue, but the time for all men will come and those who failed to act accordingly when they could will be confronted by considerable and disproportionate hardship.

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Darryl X August 24, 2012 at 07:01

@ yinjia -

“I get that a lot of guys around here have been hurt by women they thought they could trust – and I’m so sorry my gender’s got so many manipulative members in it – but we’re not all nefarious, promise.”

Hollow words these. You make “hurt” sound so innocuous. Almost a euphamism. Many men are dead. Or worse. No, you’re not all nefarious, but about 80% are. And the other 20% are going along for the ride and have deliberately profitted from the manipulation of the other 80%. So if you aren’t directly guilty of crimes, you’ve certainly enabled the other 80%. No woman escapes indictment for her participation in the past forty-four years of brutal feminist totalitarian rule. You’re all guilty and you will not be released from you guilt until you’ve acknowledged your crimes and compensated the real victims. Talk is cheap.

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Darryl X August 24, 2012 at 07:52

@ Alex F -

Actually, “extremism” does work. It has prevented the extermination of many populations throughout history. Defending yourself against someone else’s criminal behavior, especially when that criminal behavior is institutionalized, and attempts at exterminating you is not extremism. It’s self defense. Or defense of your children. See how feminists have brain-washed so many people today? Even you think that defending yourself and your children is extremism. It’s all brainwashing of people to get them to believe something is true that isn’t. To fear-monger. To manipulate and create a culture of victimhood instead of personal responsibility. By calling those who wish to defend themselves against those who wish to hurt us in serious ways “extremists”, real criminals and malignant narcissists and feminists get to hurt and defraud and kill innocent men with impunity. That’s what the Nazis and Stalinists and Comer Rouge did. The condemned all their scholars who objected to and condemned the murder of innocent people as extremists and then got public opinion on their side and then continued their murderous rampages. Since anyone who objects are extremists, no one could possibly object any more. See how it works? Call black white and white black and next thing you know you can do anything you want with such a gullible population that remains.

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Uncle Elmer August 24, 2012 at 08:04

yinjia August 24, 2012 at 00:06

@Uncle Elmer


OK point taken. I can be awfully mean when I reply to female commentators and should temper it first.

I understand that the Japanese have 10,000 Haiku devoted to sea slugs but I don’t get the tentacle thing. I enjoy Japanese gravure nudes but don’t care at all for their porn, which usually has the loveliest of women being subjected to disgusting group defilement. The nude photography is done with characteristic Japanese perfectionism and the girls have lovely smiles, in contrast to stone-faced western models. There are no comparable Viet nudes although the girls are just as beautiful.

My brother has a Japanese-American wife and they have been happily married for 20 years. Though I am the one accused of having the “Asian fetish”.

I am happy with my wife and the culture in my home is Vietnamese, and I enjoy it. Could it end badly? Certainly, but I am her first and only man and her family’s cultural attitudes about marriage are very strong. If she really gets out of line I admonish her to “be a good wife” and “I’m going to talk with your mother” which shuts her up.

To paraphrase the old SNL joke : “Marriage is where two people with similar interests and desires become one and put each other through 50 years of living hell.”

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Peter South August 24, 2012 at 11:34

Isn’t the problem really that men and women don’t really get along, have much in common, and have competing biological agendas?

Let’s face it, no woman really wants to give a man what he wants and vice versa.

Very few women will just be with a guy with no agenda whatsoever just because they like them. If you won’t sell yourself into the slavery contract she will move along. What does that tell you?

Once I realized that I was out.

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zed August 24, 2012 at 11:47

But I guess it’s easier to assume I’m attacking Japanese women out of jealousy than letting an American woman offer a different perspective on the subject of marrying foreign women, right? I get that a lot of guys around here have been hurt by women they thought they could trust – and I’m so sorry my gender’s got so many manipulative members in it – but we’re not all nefarious, promise.

Well, it looks like the accusation “you are only saying this because you are a bitter loser who can’t get a mate” is being played by both sides of the fence.

I guess the worst part of it is the fact that when a group of which one is a member gains a reputation for being nefarious, most people will not give the benefit of the doubt that someone is acting in good faith. And, as a result, they tend to return bad faith even when it may not actually be warranted.

Back about 10 years ago, on the Nice-Guy’s forum, there was a guy who went by the handle of “Hambone.” Interestingly enough, he showed all the stereotypical characteristics which one might expect from a Hambone. He was just absolutely sure that there existed somewhere this untapped lode of horny, gorgeous, virgins who would fall madly in love with him if he just found out where they were hiding. He eventually got kicked out of the forum for being a doofus.

I think there is a tendency for a lot of guys to fantasize and fetishize foreign women – particularly Asians. They are kind of Hambone-ing in that they do what a lot of Americans do – consider finding a love object as simply choosing the right object. I see it in both men and women – in the form of “I married the wrong ______.”

Culture has more of an impact that anything else – both inside and outside of marriage. I’m sure that your observations of marriages to Asian women are probably pretty accurate, yinjia. However, your characterization of the response you got here was not quite so accurate –
“I get that a lot of guys around here have been hurt by women they thought they could trust – and I’m so sorry my gender’s got so many manipulative members in it – but we’re not all nefarious, promise.”

And, not all the chambers in a gun are loaded when playing Russian Roulette, but the risks of getting the wrong one, and the damage caused by it, are the main issue – not whether every last cylinder will blow your brains out.

Yes, some guys have been very hurt. But, a broader effect is that a lot of guys who have not been particularly hurt are totally disgusted.

To those guys, it doesn’t matter whether NAWALT or NAWAN (Not All Women Are Nefarious”), enough of them are, and the damage they can do is so great, and they have so little to offer to offset that, that football, fishing, porn, and fantasies of beautiful Asian brides are very successfully competing with women for the attention of a lot of men.

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Darryl X August 24, 2012 at 14:23

@ zed re August 24, 2012 at 11:47 -

Great post. You hit just about every sentiment. Spot on.

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Depravo August 25, 2012 at 00:21

My experience is limited to China. Nevertheless what makes East Asian women of all types so appealing is their extreme femininity. However, the bad is torqued up along with the good. It’s our good fortune that their culture has traditionally promoted future time orientation and strong family values which has kept their worst excesses in check. (That is changing fast, of course.) But when they want something, Jesus Christ, watch out. Most of our marital discord centres on her extreme and completely groundless jealousy – she is utterly cynical about women’s motivations and refuses to believe I could have a platonic friendship with any of them, such that I have had to cut them all off. A dangerous sign which I am determined not to let become a pattern.

When it comes to raising the kids the Chinese method is so obviously superior I won’t object to a little strictness. I was more or less left to get on with it as a lad and as a result went down a blind alley – wasted my whole youth trying to repair the damage. She on the other hand was shoehorned into a field she has no real interest in, but we are reaping the rewards now as she is hot property at the age of 25 and has a brilliant future in spite of me :-)

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LBK August 25, 2012 at 01:44

Usually anything written by a female is too boring to finish, and this post was no exception. I couldn’t read the whole thing. It is too full of female thinking.
Ho-hum… yawn… zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

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LBK August 25, 2012 at 02:02

The ideal solution is to NOT get married. If you feel a need for female company, learn Game and be a player. If that is too much trouble, then Go Your Own Way. Forget marriage, the best choices are Game or MGTOW.

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Charles Martel August 25, 2012 at 19:42

Totally epic failure by lovestruck Chinese beta. Chinese woman rejects his marriage proposal by kicking and insulting him.

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Another One August 30, 2012 at 12:05

My story sounds a lot like Wanderer’s. Japanese wife, the sex/intimacy started out well but dwindled as children came and years passed. Now it’s down to almost “never,” as she hardly ever sleeps in the same bed. (Ironically, she told me this was true of some of her Japanese friends when we were first married, and she disapproved of it. Times change.)

Now that I’m reading about Game, I think I could’ve done a lot of things better early on. I still plan to slowly implement it, but with her lack of respect for me now, I’m not sure how it will go. With my moral/religious views, divorce isn’t an option unless she abandons me or cheats. And I really don’t think she has interest in sex with anyone at this point.

As for the military perspective, yeah, there’s a lot there. You have PUAs who impregnate women or promise to marry them then leave. Of course, this makes the women cynical. Then you have “nice guys” who try to be white knights, who genuinely love their wives and try to understand Japanese culture. Many of them end up like myself and others mentioned in the article.

While it wasn’t set overseas, I think An Officer and a Gentleman gave a keen perspective on Game and how the exploitation goes both ways in military situations.

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Baldheaded Dude October 18, 2013 at 21:43

These days it is just best for rational, thinking men of all ethnicities to just go MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and leave women alone period! The reality is that most of them are more crazy than sane. Accept it and go fishing instead.

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John November 6, 2013 at 23:09

Sounds very similar to the Chinese women.
The Western ideals are not compatible at all.
I shafted my Chinese wife as I could no longer cope with the extreme shallowness in every aspect of her thinking.
Thank God I left early in the relationship before she could completely destroy my soul. I feel I had no choice. I consider myself silly for becomming involved but lucky for getting out in time.

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Saltonsea December 1, 2013 at 10:06

Very interesting indeed. Is there a cure for a severe case of “yellow fever” as they call it? I have it and I have it bad. Via Facebook, I have met several women in Thailand and Vietnam and they seem like some great people. But you read things articles like this and you realize you may be aiming yourself in a bad direction.

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yuchon December 8, 2013 at 04:40


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ray robles December 26, 2013 at 00:52

I not to impressed with all that I read above.
Ok, I married a Viet Namese 32 years old, was a living on 100 dollars a month and a times she said had to eat 3rd rate rice that is used to feed pigs so this idiot fell sad decided to help her and became more aquainted with her and her poor family..Long story short, bought a house for both of us to live in after my retirement, with all the ammeneties (from a-z) and even both refrigerator, clothes washing machine for her parents as they never as well as her ever had such items. All of them were so poor that relied on eating frog legs to survive ( the years are 2004-20011). I took care of her and them for 6 years. I met her Dec 2004 and married her 2010. And provided her with a $600 dollar a month home allowance to live on our all paid for house, while I worked in California, and I travel back and forth to be with her, in 2011 she received her passport and came to San Francisco on October 18,2011. I took my best friend an 89 year old Viet Namese lady with me to picked my wife up at SFO. When we approched my wife I was very happy to be seeing her, but her countenance and behaviour said differently, she seemed angry to see us there. Any ways we drove back to San Jose and started our lives together in ole USA,
She arrived in October and my saga started, I immediately noticed that this was not the woman I had known and married in Viet Nam. She became independent pushed me out of the way I help her get a drivers license and a Beautician license. This took 4 months months. But I have to mention no to forget that she had pushed me to the side in all her doings and got a job a local Vietnamese restaurant in the evenings from 4 pm to 2:30 a.m..And started coming home reeking of alcohol and drunk having man driving her home at the hours of the morning. We had many arguments until the last one we had 9 months after she got here, when she told me that, she did not need me any more, that her friend had told her what to do, to stay here in USA without me. And that she did not need a feeble sickly old man like me around her. Where I became very loud and expressive about her sordid behaviour. Where I said things that I did not know were inside of me and left the house went to a nearby park and wept for hours. Returned home and was given a Restriction Notice that had been produced by a Police officer after listening to My wife’s complaints. Where I t stated that I could not be near her for the next 30 days. She had charged me with hitting her in the head numerous times, had pulled her hair and had strucked her in the face. I never saw my wife again until about 1 year later when I was arrested under a Warrant for arrest produced by the San Jose California District Attorney accusing me of viciously attacking my wife(DOMESTIC VIOLANCE) And spent 9 horrible days defending myself, for something I had not done, you see I got injured and am a disabled person who needs a cane , crutches and many a time my walker to get around. I saw her take the stand and started telling so many lies that I could hardly believe it where I only could sit there and start crying, as I am doing now as I am writing this. Thank you,
I was found not guilty of the two charges she had filed against me.
For your information, I paid for the house in Vietnam for me to retire with her. I found out too late that she had lied to me , when she told me that my name could not be in the Deed because I am a foreigner and the Vietnamese Government does not allowed it. (I BELIEVED IT!!!!)
I also gave her the $ 38,0000 dollars to deposit in the bank in a 2 party savings account.(She also lied when she told me the same thing about the government, my name could not be added because I am a foreigner.
FYI, that was part of the money, from the Insurance settlement I received for a work injury I had suffered years past.
Now I am a homeless, disabled USARMY Viet Nam War veteran, because I fell in love and TRUSTED a scruple lessViet Namese woman.
And I do not even have the funds to try to send her back, because the marriage is CONDITIONAL. HELP!! Thank you

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Lipton July 14, 2014 at 14:25

I know of one good Viet woman. The rest are manipulative, evil, compulsive liars.

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