Hooray! America has World’s Most Dominant Lesbians!

by W.F. Price on August 10, 2012

In a stunning surprise, the American womyn won gold in Olympic soccer (er, football), making team Japan their little bitches.

The entire United States is frantically celebrating this awesome display of grrrlpower, which lesbians are marking by having carnal relations at least once this month with their spouses/domestic partners.

American men are putting on aprons, baking cakes, and knitting soccer leggings for their female betters. Fathers across the land are getting misty-eyed thinking of how wonderful it would be if their daughters could grow up to be deep-voiced, fuzzy-faced ball-kickers — just like the American womyn’s soccer team.

I am so proud to be an American today. It really chokes me up…

But I have this nagging feeling that we still haven’t quite yet achieved the greatness of the 1983 East German “women’s” track and field squad:

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