The entire United States is frantically celebrating this awesome display of grrrlpower, which lesbians are marking by having carnal relations at least once this month with their spouses/domestic partners.
American men are putting on aprons, baking cakes, and knitting soccer leggings for their female betters. Fathers across the land are getting misty-eyed thinking of how wonderful it would be if their daughters could grow up to be deep-voiced, fuzzy-faced ball-kickers — just like the American womyn’s soccer team.
I am so proud to be an American today. It really chokes me up…
But I have this nagging feeling that we still haven’t quite yet achieved the greatness of the 1983 East German “women’s” track and field squad: