The Romance of Masculinity… Or Why Real Men Don’t Ask for Directions … Or Read Instructions Manuals

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by Featured Guest on June 21, 2012

By Spartacus, The Goat

In the modern world all of our creature comforts have been taken care of… All of the challenges have been met. Essentially. (We only have yet to conquer our own human nature and inner selves. The biggest challenge we shall ever face, perhaps… A different essay.)

After millions of years of evolution, a real man still yearns for challenges, for the thrill of the hunt and the feel of warm blood on his hands. He wants to be pushed to his limits for something that he truly believes in and in concepts in which he truly has faith. He wants to feel threatened occasionally and feel the victory in having overcome the threat.

But let’s face it folks, there is little left to satisfy the modern caveman who harbors these feelings. While women may be content with a closet full of shoes and 10,000 Facebook friends, men yearn for something more… We cannot sit in a cubicle day after day and not lose our minds. Men are not meant to work in service jobs and behind a desk. We need to roam free and use our bodies as animals do.

Take the so-called controversy that women have created over men not wanting to ask for directions, nor read instructions.

You know why we don’t ask for directions nor read the instructions? It is because there is no fun in it. Nothing to challenge the still animal hunter caveman within. Where is the thrill of finding your destination, if the process is a foregone conclusion. What is the thrill of having put something together if you didn’t have to put any real effort into it?

Wouldn’t it be more fun just to wing it? Set your course by the Sun or the Stars? Or the compass? Isn’t it sometimes just more fun to throw a wrench into the works and see what happens? Putting things together, ofttimes for a man, it is more satisfying just to look at the parts, try to figure out their function and relationship to each other and then try to put the device together. IKEA is brilliant for women. For men, it is just another series of handcuffs preventing the caveman within from living a fulfilling life. Thanks, IKEA. (I have a complete set of metric hex keys because of you. I think hex keys actually outnumber humans at this point… Another essay…)

Otherwise, following instructions and asking for directions, modern life just sucks. For the caveman within it is a golden cage meant to protect but more oppressive than any other.

Note large animals in cages. They may live longer and healthier lives than their counterparts, but in their hearts they yearn to run free.

Think of lions, tigers and bears. Think of horses and elephants. Or think of the caged bird… Why does the caged bird sing? One reason is that it wants to get the heck out of the cage!

Otherwise, short of freedom, the caged animal develops crib habits. The horse gnaws at the fence posts surrounding him. The dog licks himself raw. The jaguar paces his cage incessantly until his paws are bleeding and torn… and yet he persists. That happy little bird eventually becomes a very angry little bird.

The big problem with the Industrial Revolution for me (and I imagine for many men) is that it killed craftsmanship. Every damn screw is exactly the same. (Which is fantastic in many ways, don’t get me wrong.) Everybody is just part of an assemblyline, a cog in the machine. Everything is laid out for the man. There is no challenge, no threat and ultimately no satisfaction in today’s modern job market for men.

So many of our products are dead as a result. There is so little art in industrial consumer society. It is all a thin pablum or little or no value or nutrition to the soul… as it is tasteless and cannot sustain one if one does not have the stomach to even consume it. So modern life is just a drag… what is the point of working so hard if at the end of the day, one continues to be dissatisfied?

Should one just plop down in front of the telescreen and drown himself in Victory Gin flavored with some insipid essence of cloves? What kind of a life is that? Sounds kind of Orwellian…

What kind of crib habits might result in men due to this situation? Drugs, alcoholism, excessive sexual promiscuity, gluttony, an obsession with money or pride or power or war??? Suicide? Homicide? Violence? A complete lack of inspiration and enthusiasm to the point of poor health habits and a slow and horrible, agonizing death? A death without glory? A spiritual sloth that is more consuming of a man than any funeral pyre could ever be?

Why is it we blame the animal for his crib habits when it is “civilization” itself that is responsible? Let the animal out of the cage already.

Can I not express this feeling I have of wanting to express the inner animal in me in even the least little way?

Or must I be forced to sit upon the toilet to pee, to please the one for whom this gilded cage was intended in the first place? …in order to please HER? Can I not just pee standing up as I once did as an animal? Can I no longer express the animal nature in myself that continues to exist after millions of years of evolution despite the last 10,000 years or so of “civilization”?

Would you prevent your dog from wagging his tail? What result would occur?

He would likely become a very unhappy dog in deed. Where is the justice in that?

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