By Joe Zamboni
Definition: Hypergamy is a word that most men never heard of, but it is essential that all heterosexual men know not only what it is, but also how it works. The concept posits that that adult women are endlessly looking for the bigger-better-deal when it comes to men. They will abandon their husband, boyfriend, lover, friend, whoever the man is, if it means that they can hook-up with a more powerful, more famous, and/or richer man. Don’t think that just because you the man have done pretty well along these lines, that you are not subject to the instant departure of a woman who has been with you for a long time. Loyalty is nothing in comparison to the force of hypergamy. Words of commitment, diamond rings on their fingers, public promises for “better or worse,” all that means nothing. Their sense of self-interest and their looking to trade-up outweigh every other consideration.
Millions of years of evolutionary processes have brought this about. Women needed protection and resources, in order to be taken care of, and in order to make sure that their children were taken care of. The women who were successful with this strategy were the ones who got to reproduce and create the next generation. And they went on to teach their daughters how to use this same hypergamy strategy. Over time, women leveraged the notion of chivalry and got men to support new laws to facilitate this same strategy (no fault divorce laws for example). Hypergamy has for eons simply been a matter of survival. You the man can have your own reaction to that fact, including perhaps deluding yourself that you have found a “woman who is different.” But watch out, when the bigger-better-deal comes along, she may be out the door in a “New York minute.”
Differences: The classic philosophers like Aristotle and Locke — while brilliant and enlightened men — did not understand women. They appealed to conceptual ethics like fairness, honesty, loyalty, and truth. This is how men think and operate; these notions are what men use to make decisions. Men need to get that women don’t operate that way. Women are biologically and genetically programmed to go with the bigger-better-deal. Feminist rhetoric about equality is nothing in the face of hypergamy. Women act this way unconsciously; it is part of their most basic and fundamental makeup.
Women will take great care to make it seem as though they support their man’s values, but that is because they want to be part of the man’s winning team. But when the bigger-better-deal comes along, they will instantly change their values so that they can better merge with the new man’s scene. No matter how good things are for women, they will always be looking out for the more advantageous situation.
The speed with which women “change” can, and often does, shock their husbands. When these women ask for a divorce, many men are truly taken off guard. This is because they have been taken in by women’s representations that they share their man’s values. Be warned, this “alignment” of values is in most cases not the truth at all. In spite of what appearances may indicate, women did not change their values, they simply changed the man they were hooked-up with. If a particular woman truly shares a man’s values, she should have been acting in life the way he was before they met, and she should have been acting this same way while outside an intimate relationship. Be wary when a woman takes up a new interest in a cause or hobby at the same time she hooks-up with a particular man. She most likely is not genuinely interested in that cause or hobby, she is simply interested in hooking up with that man. Like a chameleon, she is simply adapting, simply making herself compatible with his winning world.
Denial: So many men delude themselves with the well-worn phrase “not all women are like that” (NAWALT). So for example you may say, “yes, many women are like that, but my woman is devoted and loyal.” But really, come on, what hard evidence is there that she demonstrably acted that way before you came along? And what prevents her from abandoning that value if and when the bigger-better-deal comes along? If you really get this, you will see that it is no mistake that 70% of American divorces are now initiated by women. Many of them are simply trading-up to the bigger-better-deal, or at least they hope to soon do so. And big daddy government with the welfare, child support, alimony, and other subsidies especially for women in many cases is the bigger-better-deal.
Most men (and women) don’t want to admit the operation of hypergamy, but it is absolutely critical that heterosexual men understand how women operate in this regard. It is especially important to get this before these men get married (note — this author is strongly discouraging marriage). Unless you the man have really gotten this point, you will be surprised and shocked, you will feel abandoned and disillusioned, and you will feel betrayed and conned. You need to get that the marriage vows “for better and for worse,” and “for richer and for poorer” — all that is bullshit. These words are words that the man must by law live by, not the woman. They are one-sided obligations; they are totally inconsistent with real-world women’s hypergamy-related behavior.
This is not a pleasant point to admit, but if heterosexual men operate in the dark on this point, they are severely disadvantaged, and they will accordingly most likely be exploited by women. Why do women love romance novels? It’s about the taming and submission of men, the getting of men to serve women’s interests. Romance novels are female porn. Because they are dreams of being protected and provided for, exactly the way they want to be — by rich, powerful, and famous men. Read a few of these romance novels to really understand this. You only need to read a few — they are pretty much all focused on different variations on this same hypergamy theme. One recent hit along these lines is Fifty Shades Of Grey, by E.L. James.
To the extent that men buy into the Hollywood romance bullshit, they operate in a fog of infatuation, and then they can be led to think that women share their values. Hollywood romance is about as far away from reality as you can get. Sure, happily ever after, fading into the sunset, that would be nice. But get men who have been married and divorced to honestly level with you, and they will tell you that the Hollywood romance story is total bullshit. It’s a society-supported con game that seeks to lure men into marriage. Women deeply believe that they need a man to take care of them. Women thus endlessly seek men who are going to provide and protect, no matter what the feminists tell them. A couple of decades of feminist indoctrination cannot overcome thousands of years of evolution.
The relationship between the sexes is and always has been by its very nature asymmetrical. What is expected of men is very different from and unequal to what is expected of women. More is being asked of men, and women know it. So there must be a protracted and drawn-out process of convincing the man to get married. In support of this process, women engage in all sorts of cons and deceits in order to convince the bigger-better-deal that they are the woman for him. This convincing process includes making the man believe that they view the world in the same way he does. Make-up, hair-color, push-up bras, breast augmentation surgery, and many other methods and devices are only more marketing and deceit on the part of women so that they can attract and land the bigger-better-deal. It’s a hunting process, and the men are the prey.
Intentions: From the female perspective, mating is fundamentally a search for security. That’s one big reason why women push for marriage. Marriage makes men responsible to protect and provide for a woman, in legal ways that he was not obligated to deliver up until that point. Marriage is the primary mechanism that women use to leverage themselves up the ladder, up to the next bigger-better-deal. Of course, even though they are no longer with the woman involved, the prior husbands are still expected to provide (less so protect these days since government is doing more of that).
The modern intention for American women is to get several asset splits with different men as a result of divorces, and add to that several income streams (primarily alimony and child support), ideally having all the income streams all going at the same time. It’s a pretty great deal if you can do it, and the most conniving and most attractive of women can pull it off. But that doesn’t stop the other women from attempting to pull off the same con job. The only thing standing in the way of this continued exploitation of men is men’s full awareness of the game.
Application: If you the man really understand hypergamy, then all sorts of social practices that previously had no logical explanation will all of sudden start to make sense. Why for example are men still expected to pay for dates? Of course, it is preparation for marriage, and the providing and protecting that men are supposed to be delivering within the institution of marriage. Paying for dates is a “shit test” that men have to put up with in order to “prove” themselves to women. If a particular man will pay for dates, then he will probably also later pay alimony and child support.
As a man, the best ways for you to protect yourself against this force of this evolutionary history, against the hypergamy push of heterosexual women, is to: (1) not have any children (“the snip” is strongly recommended), (2) not cohabitate with a woman, and (3) not get married. The justifying details behind these three recommendations are beyond the scope of this article, but if you simply remember these three recommendations, you are going to be far ahead of your exploited and conned brethren in the brotherhood of men.