Divorce and Health

by W.F. Price on April 4, 2012

There have been a number of studies published over the years purporting to show the benefits of marriage, particularly for men. However, if you’ve been through a divorce as a man, it definitely adds a new perspective: it might not necessarily be that marriage is good for your health, but rather that divorce is bad for it.

This is definitely something that’s come to mind for me recently, as I’ve started to feel the effects of a rather unhealthy lifestyle since separation. Ironically, there was one thing about divorce that may have been healthy for me: I lost about 30 pounds due to the stress, and still haven’t gained it all back. However, for the most part it’s been negative. Stress may have contributed to weight loss, but it causes plenty of other problems. The anxiety and depression kept me inside most of the time, I neglected my social life, I went for long periods without enough (if any) exercise, sleeping patterns were disrupted, I skipped a lot of meals, had a hard time maintaining a healthy diet, used beer or wine to calm down and sleep in the evening rather than simply as an enjoyable social lubricant, etc.

I’m sure this is a familiar story for divorced men, yet there’s almost no discussion about what can be done about it. In fact, the only advice we get is along the lines of “get married” or “stay married,” which is essentially worthless, because for divorced men getting married is what led to the problem in the first place, and we usually had no choice as to whether we stayed in the marriage or not. It’s another one of those “damned if you do” situations divorced men so often find themselves in, and that’s probably why divorce is so clearly hard on men’s health. It adds another element to the betrayal of the ex-wife, too, because it’s becoming increasingly clear that divorce not only takes away a man’s children, property and labor, but years of his life as well. It seems to be nearly as unhealthy as smoking a pack of cigarettes per day, or being in prison.

That said, divorce doesn’t need to be a death sentence for men. If we could only remove some of the more male-hostile provisions of family law, have a little compassion for fathers and their needs, and refrain from treating divorced men like criminals, I’m sure we could mitigate some of the worst stressors and give men the peace of mind needed to get back on track and pay attention to their health. However, this issue has been ignored for too long, and it’s going to take some work to bring it to the public’s attention. Although sympathy for divorced men may never be very high (people instinctively tend to feel little compassion for adult men), one way to frame the issue could be in terms of benefit to the children. For example, what good does it do a kid if his father dies of a heart attack in his 40s? Can a man who becomes chemically dependent due to self-medication for stress be as good of a father as one who remains healthy and sober? The answers to these questions should be pretty clear. Healthy fathers are better prepared to help their kids succeed, whether they are divorced or not, so perhaps judges ought to give that fact a little consideration before they issue an order that will all but guarantee a great decline in a man’s mental, and subsequently physical, health.

As for myself, I’ve been thinking about the issue recently. I went to see a doctor recently, and based on results decided to make a few changes. Although I’m relatively young and could get away with neglecting my health for the last few years, that won’t last, and as a divorced man it’s up to me to make sure I can continue to be there for my kids for some time to come. I think we all ought to encourage each other to do the same. It’s time to start focusing on these basics, because nobody else is going to do it for us.

{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }

Rebel April 4, 2012 at 11:40

I have noticed that all divorced men who take it hard undergo severe health problems, sometimes very serious ones.

I have also noticed thet divoced or divorcing men who don’t give a shit stay in good health. Also they look happier.

Draw your own conclusions…

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Bufface April 4, 2012 at 11:48

Have any of the studies that promote the health benefits of marriage corrected for the inherit selection bias of marriage?

Unhealthy men (obesity, substance abuse, disability, and chronic disease) are less likely to get married in the first place and die earlier from the same health problems that lessened the chance for marriage.

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jaego April 4, 2012 at 11:50

Narrow it down to one variable and you might have something proveable. Let the variable be whether the divorced man has children in the ex’s custody. Then compare his health with the man who didn’t have children or has custody of them. Control for long term alimony as well.

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Oddsock April 4, 2012 at 12:10

Live like you are dying

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxDkWBvxHEI&feature=player_embedded

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Atlas April 4, 2012 at 12:20

While I was going through my divorce, I was having heart issues at 35! My family has no history of heart trouble, and I was having arrhythmia due to the massive amount of stress from the divorce. After the divorce was done and I got back on my feet financially, the problem vanished. Does divorce damage a man’s health? YOU BETCHA!

Either don’t marry (MGTOW) or marry without a marriage “license”. Remove yourself from the system as much as possible. Do NOT get birth certificates for your kids that are born while married. Move to a different country or a much more conservative state.

Above all, avoid the well-educated, worker-woman, western world feminazi at all costs!

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Raj April 4, 2012 at 12:51

The fear of divorce is worse than divorce. To me, divorce is a “correction” of the lie that is marriage. Monetarily, its worth every penny.

However, just like upon climbing up a wrong tree, slowly climbing down is less painfull than jumping. Slowly putting backing away from marriage might be easier on both parties. (Move out to a place close by while maintaining relationship, Continue going out for dinner etc)

Just my 2 cents.

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Boxer April 4, 2012 at 12:51

I have been glad to see the increasing rebuttals to cookie-cutter claims of “marriage makes people healthy” which the conservatives usually trot out.

http://articles.cnn.com/2009-07-28/health/divorce.marriage.health_1_chronic-conditions-divorced-people-health-care?_s=PM:HEALTH

Most people who are in poor health don’t marry, which skews the data in the first place; and, 50+ percent of people who marry eventually divorce. The health risks of divorce are rarely acknowledged, and ought to be.

Anecdotal, but over spring vacation I visited a newly married friend. A year into their marriage, and neither he nor his wife looks particularly well-rested or relaxed. Glad to have dodged that bullet…

Regards, Boxer

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Rebel April 4, 2012 at 13:04

“Glad to have dodged that bullet…”

Specially at a time when there is absolutely no need to take that bullet.

Sincerely, people who marry today don’t give much thought to their actions: they must be among the sloppiest people on earth.

Sometimes I wonder WHAT the govarmin will have to do in order to make men understand to STAY AWAY from that silly institution.

Will the govarmin have to shoot to kill any man who marries? It that what it will take? Sometimes, I wonder.

Really..

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 17 Thumb down 3
Demonspawn April 4, 2012 at 13:10

Something I did a while back when faced with an article touting the benefits of marriage was calculate the TRUE affect marriage had on the various traits. The article referenced was kind enough to include the single rate, the married rate, and the divorced rate. When you then averaged the married and divorced rates (since 50% of marriages end in divorce) you found out that marriage was quite detrimental:

The average married man was less likely to be a problem drinker, but marriage increased the chances a man would be a problem drinker over being single by 3x.

The average married man was less likely to commit suicide, but marriage increased a man’s risk of committing suicide over being single by 2.5x

There were a few more stats in the report, but those are the two I remember… but the sad part was almost every “advantage” of marriage became a disadvantage once you calculated in the increased rate of the problem after divorce.

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Boxer April 4, 2012 at 13:11

Dear Rebel:

Specially at a time when there is absolutely no need to take that bullet. Sincerely, people who marry today don’t give much thought to their actions: they must be among the sloppiest people on earth.

I came pretty close a couple of times. I think you’re largely right. About half the marriages I know of are entered into by the bottom of the underclass… Super poor people who think that by marrying they will improve their lot in life.

There are also marriages these days by people who have been born into money (my aforementioned friend comes from a very wealthy family) and have thus far been shielded by much of the risks of modern life. Interestingly, many of the marriages of the upperclass seem discretely “arranged”, usually by the participants’ mothers. I don’t have any data on this, but would love to see a study done someday.

Regards, Boxer

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Ethical April 4, 2012 at 14:14

“For example, what good does it do a kid if his father dies of a heart attack in his 40s? Can a man who becomes chemically dependent due to self-medication for stress be as good of a father as one who remains healthy and sober?”

@ W.F. Price
I don’t think women would care. Reading women’s forums it’s almost comical how insensitive they are about any needs other than their own. If a guy is severely depressed after divorce and can’t hold down a job women say “he’s going around feeling sorry for himself instead of getting a job and paying me alimony or child support”. If a guy is homeless they say “he’s living all over the place instead of getting a job and paying me alimony and child support”. If a guy is so distraught about being stripped of rights to his children and property in court that he goes and blows his own brains out … you guessed it. “Just to avoid paying me he …”.

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James April 4, 2012 at 14:33

If you are going to get divorced, here is what you do:

1. Take all of your money out of the bank and put it into a Swiss bank account (do this without your wife knowing about it)

2. Sell as much of your assets as possible and put the money in the Swiss bank account (do this without your wife knowing about it)

3. Buy a one way ticket to Asia (do this without your wife knowing about it), and NEVER COME BACK

4. Enjoy life in Asia and enjoy all of the lovely women there

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Annonymous April 4, 2012 at 14:38

Mens activists and other interested observers ought to hear the blaired out loud message saying fuck marriage and fuck holding property too. Just go your own way.

Take what you like with permission, leave what you dont like for others, but most importantly, always go your own way.

This Statist-society and its lovers want to use you, abuse you and then use you again some more. And it’s better able to extract free use of you or your property without your consent, when you’re ensnared in any of its man-traps called relationships … or when you hold private property.

And if you’re are a man whom knows what ownership, a relationship, or what marriage really is, you will never ever engage in such risky behaviours in this society.

Look at the expropriation, taxation, confisication, fees, levies and dues demanded off property owners, business owners, land assets and wealth classes in spheres beyond relationships. You begin to see a pattern of plunder.

The Statist beast is hungry and is looking for any excuse to take and appropriate away from you to feed itself. And whereas it seizes what is yours in the name of women and children, it doesent give the afore mentioned property classes any excuses or reasons for embezzling them.

The State just takes, seizes and taxes, or borrows ever larger sums against fiat money reprinted over and over. All of which are to be repayed by you in relationships or you holding real wealth in property.

Steer clear of relationships man. And if you have wealth or property, hide it.

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Quentin April 4, 2012 at 14:50

Divorce seems more important than marriage to some women regarding status. A lot of divorced women seem to be under the impression being a divorced woman makes you a hero. They spill the intimate details of their divorces and paint themselves as victims who overcame insurmountable obstacles in a “horrible” marriage. While some marriages are horrible, it seems a lot of the “problems” in marriages are created by women who just like to create problems for any insignificant reasons under the sun. They seem to have no shame regarding the hell they put their ex-husbands through. When I really think about it, I don’t know many women who talk about even their current husbands in a positive way. I get the impression most men are viewed as insurance policies.

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Annonymous April 4, 2012 at 15:00

Its called wealth creation Opus, by means of triangulating the stooge called husband with the State.

You can’t pretend here not to understand the underlying mechanics and motivations of it.

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Slouchie April 4, 2012 at 15:25

James – FYI

Sadly, the last time I checked those ‘no tell’ Swiss bank accounts require a minimum initial deposit of a million dollars. I think there are better Cayman Island solutions, but it’s still a hefty initial deposit.

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keyster April 4, 2012 at 15:59

“I have been glad to see the increasing rebuttals to cookie-cutter claims of “marriage makes people healthy” which the conservatives usually trot out.”

From the link eferenced above:

“People who lose a marriage take such damage to their health,” said Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago in Illinois.

Waite and co-author Mary Elizabeth Hughes, of Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, found that divorced or widowed people have 20 percent more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer than married people.”

Yepper, Linda Waite and Mary Elizabeth Hughes…two strident Conservatives if I ever saw, troting out their feminist propaganda from those academic bastions of right-wing thought; University of Chicago in Illinois and Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health.

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Szebran April 4, 2012 at 16:30

What health benefits for men?
This study shows that the health gap between single and married men – self rated – has been steadily closing.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3150568/
“the [health] gap between the married and the never-married has steadily converged over time for men but not for women, primarily because never-married men report better health over time.”
Plus the study is 9 years old. I wonder if there is no longer any health benefit whatsoever for men. Marrige brings too much stress.

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Johnycomelatley April 4, 2012 at 16:36

Men (particularly divorced men) have lost their social forums, pubs used to be a default men’s club, now they’re trendy places to eat brunch for the social set.

The last bastions of male socialization are sports clubs and hunting/fishing clubs . Very difficult to turn a swampy marsh into a place you can eat a saffron honey creme brûlée with a moccacino….

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Boxer April 4, 2012 at 16:56

Dear Johnny:

The last bastions of male socialization are sports clubs and hunting/fishing clubs . Very difficult to turn a swampy marsh into a place you can eat a saffron honey creme brûlée with a moccacino….

One of the most effective things women have done is to break up social space for men, leaving us all atomized and easily pliable. When you think about this historically, it was a very astute move on their part.

The presence of women is inherently disruptive to male bonding (men cease to be brothers, and become competitors for female attention). Women managed to destroy masculinity by appealing to it (save the poor wimminz, they iz being discriminated against). The raw totality of it is quite something to comprehend.

Regards, Boxer

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van Rooinek April 4, 2012 at 16:59

Also, it was proven in the Terman study, that divorce of parents, significantly shortens the lifespan of CHILDREN. To the tune of about FIVE (5) YEARS on average.

“…children in the study whose parents divorced during their childhood died an average of five years earlier than children from intact families….”
http://www.divorcereform.info/index.php/tag/Terman-study.html

When are judges going to start DENYING divorce petitons, “in the best interests of the children”?

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Eric April 4, 2012 at 17:20

Price:
The suicide rate among divorced men seems to be a pretty strong counterbalance to the supposed health benefits of marriage. Most of these ‘studies’, BTW, are typically funded by vested interests.

I would say if there are some comparisons to be made between married and single men, it has more to do with the social pressures put on single men; most of whom could be classified as INCEL. As I’ve mentioned before, the situation for single men is the cultural equivalent of famine conditions. Men aren’t having meaningful relationships, because the female counterparts for such relationships have, by and large, ceased to exist. Then, society shames men and loads them with false guilt for being single—a condition which is largely unavoidable, due both to the abysmal quality of American women and the mathematical probability of a relationship with one end in disaster.

Society shames men, too, who seek relationships with foreign women or any other alternative to the dysfunctional American female. It isn’t surprising, then, that with few alternatives and the constant target of legal and social marginalizing; that the physical and emotional strain on single men would take its toll in depression, addiction, suicide, and other problems.

One particular contribution of the MRM has been to help single men realize that they are not the isolated ‘losers’ and ‘pariahs’ that misandryist culture has foisted on them. Once distraught single men are taught that their condition is the current condition of all men; and that the shaming and guilt are based on lies and illusions; then the feminised power structure no longer has a hold on them.

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Joe Zamboni April 4, 2012 at 17:31

There is a lot of misunderstanding out there in the young heterosexual male population — misunderstanding about the true consequences of marriage. In my experience there are four major segments of the population of men that I run across on a regular basis:

(1) those who want to get married for the first time – typically young, naive, and taken in by all the propaganda about marriage, including the lie that it is better for your health,
(2) those who are married – henpecked, burdened by demands of the wife, struggling to live up to the wife’s requirements primarily in the area of money, out of touch with their own needs, often demoralized and socially isolated, and frequently feeling a lot of stress,
(3) those who are recently divorced – considerably wiser about the consequences of marriage, justifiably leery about both marriage and women, forced to confront the reality of legal discrimination against men, and often struggling to meet alimony, and/or childcare and child support requirements, and trying to put their lives back together, and
(4) those who are long divorced and not looking to get married ever again – independent, very careful about the women they associate with, and clear about the significant health benefits of ghosting, MGTOW, or at least maintaining a significant distance from women (primarily no marriage, and no cohabitation).

I’m with Boxer, in that we need to have more men-only spaces where those in group (1) can learn about the real-life experiences of men in the other groups.

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Morrisfactor April 4, 2012 at 17:32

Count me as one who believes that a divorce and child custody battle takes years off a man’s life. And other men I’ve mentioned this too agree – most say “It took ten years off my life”.

My divorce was so stressful that my heart developed an arrhythmia, and I was only 45 at the time and in good shape with great family genetics. It improved after the divorce was finalized, but my health has suffered in other ways due to the divorce/losing everything/alimony/child support.

Like you, Mr. Price, every time I hear someone quote how married men live longer, I figure it’s because divorced men’s lives are shortened.

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Anonymous age 69 April 4, 2012 at 19:04

Swiss bank accounts?

No tell Swiss bank accounts?

Moving right along, those things do not exist any more. The US government put so much pressure on the Swiss banks, most of them simply told all US residents to get their money and won’t take any more accounts from US residents.

Go to the islands.

On the other hand, it is now illegal for US banks to transfer money to any entity which has not agreed to tell the IRS which accounts you have and how much you have in them. Welcome to Stalinist America.

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Rebel April 4, 2012 at 19:32

@James April 4, 2012 at 14:33
“If you are going to get divorced, here is what you do:

1. Take all of your money out of the bank and put it into a Swiss bank account (do this without your wife knowing about it)”

This seems like a good receipe for failure.

A good way to prevent your soon to be ex-wife from putting her mitts on your money is to spend it.

Cash all you can and if possible, mortgage the house, get a very big line of credit. Put all you can on credit cards, take a year year trip around the world and spend everything and max out your credit cards.

Upon your return, file for bankrupcy, file for divorce and claim for alimony.

Be audacious. If you appear to be a severe case of “lunatism”, you will win your case, since judges are batshit insane. They all are.
Otherwise they wouldn’t be judges to begin with.

Remember that the world has gone crazy. Exactly like the movie “Idiocracy” that describes PRESENT DAY society down to a T.

The crazier you appear to be, the better your chances are.
Proof? Just look at women and how they win their case every time because the are crazy.

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jso April 4, 2012 at 20:45

can’t get divorced if you never get married

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Paul Murray April 4, 2012 at 23:25

Best plan for success is to not take advice from random people on the ‘netz.

Just sayin. Talk to a real lawyer and a real accountant.

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Remo April 4, 2012 at 23:41

“For example, what good does it do a kid if his father dies of a heart attack in his 40s? Can a man who becomes chemically dependent due to self-medication for stress be as good of a father as one who remains healthy and sober?”

You assume that the goal of divorce is maximize benefits for the woman – it is not – it is to punish the male using money, or the police, or whatever means are available. I can remember several incidents when my ex refused to take a path that would benefit both of us, instead insisting on another more argumentative approach that held much less benefit for her but actively did me harm. That was the biggest shocker of divorce for me and most men – the fact that your ex will harm herself if she can harm you more. If she is standing on your shoulders she will actively put a bullet through her own foot if the bullet continues into your chest. Most men do not understand this and are blindsided by it as it is totally illogical and goes against the grain of maximizing resources.

Example: I made ‘X’ amount of money and had 3 kids. She was stay at home and did nothing. If I took the kids off my taxes the benefits were enormous and her alimony would be higher – more money available for both of us. If on the other hand she insisted on taking the kids off her taxes the tax burden of the alimony (which wasn’t that high to begin with) was eliminated but it meant I paid far more in taxes and overall there was less money for her and a huge loss for me. Guess which option she chose?

It is about punishment so the question “what good does it do” completely misses the point. It accomplishes evil which is exactly what she wants which is why your notion of reaching some fair consensus won’t work as the goal is punishment not fairness or revenue ultimately. Yes she acts like she wants money and lots of it but that is only because it costs YOU something and makes YOU suffer. The girls will never admit this but as with game you need to look at the actions and behavior NOT what they say, which is usually a pack of hamster wheel spinning lies.

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James April 4, 2012 at 23:59

Peter-Andrew: Nolan© makes the claim that the men here condone and support criminal acts by women against men, especially in divorce. He makes the claim that many men in this place know that women commit crimes against men in the family courts. Crimes like perjury, kidnapping, extortion, theft and child abuse. He claims that he has asked THOUSANDS of men in places like these to step forward and join Crimes Against Fathers to fairly and justly put women on trial who are properly accused of crimes against fathers. He makes the claim that thousands upon thousands of men have refused to heed his call to give men a path to justice if they are criminally vitimised by women.

That would be men just like me. That would be fathers just like I hope to be one day.

I would like to verify if his claims are real.
Has he really called on thousands and thousands of men in places like this?
Have you really refused to heed his call to give men a path to justice by creating lawful courts?

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Ode April 5, 2012 at 02:41

Anon 69

On the other hand, it is now illegal for US banks to transfer money to any entity which has not agreed to tell the IRS which accounts you have and how much you have in them. Welcome to Stalinist America.

Agreed. To add to this:

There are lots of Internet based companies that claim to be offshore banks but it’s a scam. There is no actual bank, just a crook who created a fancy website. A fool and his money are soon parted.
Don’t get me wrong there is such a thing as legit off shore banking accounts, but I recommend talking to a tax attorney, not some random person off the Internet
*glares at Rebel*

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PeterTheGreat April 5, 2012 at 02:54

There was a study done on male heart attack survivors to see why they survived their heart attack. It was done, if memory serves, in the ’80s.

The only correlation they found was that the men believed their wives loved them.

So there is a definite health effect.

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MarcusAurelius April 5, 2012 at 03:48

Mr. Price I am sorry for what you went through. While I have never been married, I was in a LTR for 7 years and lived with the girl for 5. She cheated on me with a guy I knew, and I walked in on them in the act. It was emotionally devestating. Overnight, the life I knew was suddenly uprooted, like a rug being pulled out from underneath me. So not only do you lose your partner, but you lose the life you were accustomed to. Your very identity is so tied with that relationship that you lose a sense of self. What do you do now? To whom do you turn?

I had to move back in with my parents; pretty embarassing at 32 till I got back on my feet again. That whole time period was a blur. Suddenly I had no one but family and myself. Those first few months were impossibly difficult. I was depressed all the time. Couldn’t focus on anything. Missed so much work they finally fired me. Smoked 2 packs a day. Drank almost every night. Finally hit rock bottom when at 2am I was pulled over for going 8 miles over the speed limit and was subsequently arrested with dui. As I sat in the back of that squad car in handcuffs, for the first time in my adult life I truly wanted to die. I very seriously began to think of how I would commit suicide.

But as they say in Hinduism and Buddhism the false self MUST die before we can truly realize self. Part of me did die that night, but it was my false self, this illusory identity that I had created and wrapped around in a person and a temporary state of being. In short, my low point became my high point. I recovered the spiritual sense that I had lost due to my own apathy. Instead of hitting the bars I started going to Mass. Instead of smoking 2 packs a day I kicked the habit cold turkey (with the help of ecigs) and hit the gym. Then I started back up in school, pursuing the seminary and ministry dreams that I’d sacrificed all those years ago for the sake of being with her and having my dead end job to pay the bills (and so much of her debts).

Just as suddenly as the breakup had happened, I now had the feeling of a man that had been underwater for a long time, drowning, drowning, and abruptly came up for air. I was free again. I was myself again, my true, old self that I had lost along the way.

And one of the things that was so instrumental in this recovery was my discovery of the MRA; including your site, and your articles Mr. Price. I educated myself. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is. Reading this and countless other sites showed me that all the suspicions I’d had about the dating climate in this country were confirmed. What may have started out of your pain, Mr. Price, has been an inspiration to me and countless others like me. When you realize the problem is not with you; that it is societal, that it is the diseases of serial monogamy, hypergamy, the hookup culture, and the power plays of feminists….a proverbial mountain is lifted off your shoulders. You realize calmly and peacefully: there is nothing I could have done. These relationships, these ‘marriages’ are simply not sustainable. The whole game is rigged…..and so it is utterly liberating….to just stop playing. I am indebted to you and the whole MRA movement.

I know many of you have faced far worse things than I. Seperation from children. Financial setback or ruin. But as I have done in my own small contribution to this movement, I lend a spiritual voice. As Easter draws near, I remember the words of St. John Chrysostom (who would be considered an ancient Christian anti-feminist lol) “I possess nothing. Everything is on loan to me from God.” One does not even have to believe in God to embrace this concept. One must simply accept, as the Buddhists say: that everything is impermanent, and subject to change. Today’s wealth can easily become tomorrow’s poverty. Today’s joy can easily become tomorrow’s despair. Today’s despair can easily become tomorrow’s joy. The only thing we can ever truly expect is change.

And the only thing we can ever truly possess is mind, and peace of mind. Your work, Mr. Price, contributes in no small way to the peace of mind of men in a society that has shunned them. Your pain has benefitted us all in that regard.

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Anonymous April 5, 2012 at 05:03

@MarcusAurelius: “I now had the feeling of a man that had been underwater for a long time, drowning, drowning, and abruptly came up for air.”

Dude, you nailed it. This tracks my divorce experience exactly.

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Mr. J April 5, 2012 at 06:20

quotes:

“if we could”

“if we could only”

Its not a matter of “could”, its a matter of PRIORITIES for people.

Feminists have had their priorities straight so they accomplished their goals. …Most men haven’t.

Feminists knew when to quit with the passtimes and get to business, something most men couldn’t seem to do.

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Mr. J April 5, 2012 at 06:31

Most men thought they could just work a job, stay out of trouble, etc. and do NOTHING else…………..but thats not how freedom works….it takes DILIGENCE to maintain freedom.

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AntZ April 5, 2012 at 06:42

This is a very good point. As a bonus, if MRAs exercise together, we can take the opportunity to talk strategy. If there is any MRA in the central Long Island region of New York, send me a smoke-signal and we can work something out :)

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Mr. J April 5, 2012 at 06:58

Antz,

???

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Mr. J April 5, 2012 at 07:22

As James said, Peter Nolan has been essentially shunned.

Peter Nolan is not perfect, maybe he makes glaring mistakes, but to SHUN him for the effort he’s put in???…..Really???

….now, back to “the game”…..LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..

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Mr. J April 5, 2012 at 07:24

Watch Peter Nolan on youtube and gain insight.

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Anonymous Reader April 5, 2012 at 07:41

+1 on all that, Welmer, and at the very least just walking a mile every day is a good thing to do. Burns off some of the cortisol, builds up conditioning. I saw a study a while back that showed people who walk 5 miles per week not only tend to live longer, they remain in better health (lower risk of diabetes, etc.).

The health benefits of marriage are extremely nonuniform. I watched a relation go through a double whammy a few years ago; birth of first child, death of father, wife basically “marrying” the child and becoming “mommy” 24/7, another relative dying, another child, wife becoming colder…he looked like he aged 10 years in maybe 3 or 4. Since then he’s learned some Game and doesn’t seem to be in too much danger of her going EPL on him. But I suspect the big reason for that is thanks to Game, he doesn’t worry about divorce any more – he knows enough to deal with it, thanks to the androsphere sites (including most definitely this one).

He is still kind of pissed off, because no one told him the truth about women. If he’d known “back then” what he knows now, he would have handled his wife very differently through the whole pregger/baby/toddler phase, and he would have suffered much, much less.

The androsphere is the only place, the only place where men can learn any truth about women at all.

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Reality April 5, 2012 at 07:47

There have been numerous studies that show married men live longer. So how do they determine this?

OH, that’s RIGHT.. they did the studies on elderly couples: married men past the age of 65 and so on. Right, men who were married to women their age in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ERA. An era long before all of the SHIT…. VAWA, psychotic divorce laws, high toxicity confrontational women direct from Hell (I could go on, but you already know).

So men who are married today in their 20s, 30s & 40s, well, we don’t KNOW how long they will live. I suspect statisically it’s not going to be good. I suspect they’ll be dropping like flies very early.

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Anonymous Reader April 5, 2012 at 08:21

Oh, and in no way did I mean to play down or minimize the very real health harm, both physical and mental, that men all too often suffer as they are being ground up by the divorce industry. My posting was intended to point out that even men who don’t get his with divorce theft can suffer real, physical harm if they do not know how to manage women, especially after children are born. Even if things get better later on, there’s still some period of flat out misery that can happen.

So the ballyhooed “health benefits” of marriage don’t just happen. Some man has to make them happen. Just like a whole lot of other things in the world.

PPS: I am working over a longer posting on women’s nagging/anger issues and the fight-or-flight reaction in men. It seems to me that there is something very real there in terms of health also.

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keyster April 5, 2012 at 08:23

One particular contribution of the MRM has been to help single men realize that they are not the isolated ‘losers’ and ‘pariahs’ that misandryist culture has foisted on them. Once distraught single men are taught that their condition is the current condition of all men; and that the shaming and guilt are based on lies and illusions; then the feminised power structure no longer has a hold on them.

That’s a very important statement.
How many here felt they were alone until they stumbled across or searched out the MRM? How many more men are still out there, wandering the world alone, blaming themselves? Is it just me, or is there something wrong with the culture in general?

The disenfranchisement and isolation of men is purposeful. Either adopt and adapt to the Femocracy or be cast out. This is why men still marry, in the face of probable legal and emotional turmoil later on. They’re afraid to be alone. MGTOW takes a stronger will and constitution than most men have, but they should know it’s an option.

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Reality April 5, 2012 at 09:01

“Is it just me, or is there something wrong with the culture in general?”

Oh yes, the most complicated question of all – where does one’s own insanity start/stop and the insanity of the world they live in begin/end? Where do you draw the line?

Possibly THE most valuable element of sites like the Spearhead is letting men know they’re not alone- there’s no telling how many men didn’t commit suicide because of places like this.

Having said all that, now if only men would actually DO something – take direct legal action like suing the government over divorce laws & VAWA and everything else, we wouldn’t need a MRM in the first place!

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keyster April 5, 2012 at 09:18

“Having said all that, now if only men would actually DO something – take direct legal action like suing the government over divorce laws & VAWA and everything else, we wouldn’t need a MRM in the first place!”

VAWA is being seriously contested for the first time in it’s history. Things are changing slowly. Feminists own academia and mainstream media, they own the narrative. But they don’t own the New Media, like right here.

It’s not as though men as a group will spontaneously rise up one day and march in the streets. Take down the Liberal Establishment’s disproportionate dominance of academia and mainstream media, and you take down Feminist Governance.

It’s all about winning the culture war at www dot-men dot-com.
Win the culture and you win the politics.

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Bull Run April 5, 2012 at 12:11

1. Hormone Replacement Therapy – Yes, that is essentially a low doseage of steroids. Steroids have such a bad rap in our society, they’re actually a sort of wonder drug with easily manageable side effects.
2. Adopt a more paleo-esque diet, not saying go all out, just learn to eat half of your meals without any form of carbs (or at least low amounts of them).
3. Begin working out. Focus on lifting weights. There is no greater anti-depressant than working out. And, it will make you mentally tough.

“The mind cannot me strong if the body is weak.” – Henry Rollins

All of the above will make you feel better, make you healthier, and make you look better. The added benefit will be increased success with random women.

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SMC April 5, 2012 at 13:48

According to feminists, ie mainstream data, marriage confers a benefit for men and divorce too confers a benefit.

Studies are just made up lies.

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freebird April 5, 2012 at 18:59

Hang tough brother, it gets easier over time.
hey-hey-ho-ho-VAWA has to go!

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piercedhead April 5, 2012 at 19:03

A beautiful comment Marcus Aurelius, crowned with this gem:

And the only thing we can ever truly possess is mind, and peace of mind.

With this, the rest isn’t worth much at all.

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Höllenhund April 6, 2012 at 01:45

Basically everyone who’s not an MRA will trot BS statistics before you about the benefits of marriage. That’s to be expected, because society as a whole has traditionally foisted marriage upon unsuspecting young men.

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joeb April 6, 2012 at 16:15

Yes serious health issues like anti-freeze poisoning And or Toxic Chem. or Heavy Metals . Men they don’t Play fair So if your health declines at the Moment of Family Court intervention assume the worst and Exit .
It took me ten years to get the anti-Freeze out of my system .
The Law will not Help and The health and human services actually Ignores the Problem . Studies in Grease and Italy show 20% of all males will be Poisoned buy a Female during there Marriage. Special clinics have been set up in those Countries for Male Health , Why is there no Male health Issues in America . HMMMM because the Divorce courts benefit from the emaciated Male condition.

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Pbwriter April 7, 2012 at 05:56

I feel for all you guys letting a terrible situation get worse by self destructive behavior and the uncontrolled stress associated with divorce. While speaking with my accountant a year after divorce, I made a statement that proved to be an epiphany for me and a good laugh for him: I said, “Even though I lost half of my wealth, I also got rid of the one who spent three quarters of the money. So I’m actually ahead of the game.” Everything depends on how you look at it. I may have lost money, but I have less needs than my ex. You have to be positive in life! You don’t have to exercise like crazy (which is actually not healthy) but you do have to do something – even a walk around the block is a start. Eat healthy and avoid substances that only offer a short term fix. Now is the time for sweet revenge in the form of showing the world “I am better as a result of this divorce!” And why get married again when so many give away the milk. Be safe!

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DevilDog April 8, 2012 at 18:35

Lol @ marriage being better for your health.

Exactly how the fuck can someone believe that, just take a few minutes out and THINK! The only way I can see marriage truly being healthy for Men is if they’re getting an abundance of sex, there are not domestic quarrels, and it’s a two income marriage, thus relieving financial pressure. A combination of these 3 variables could very well put Men in a very happy place, but that’s not the reality.

In a marriage, most Men won’t be getting an abundance of sex, they WILL be having to deal with a crapload of domestic quarrels (Which occur after work, before work, and during work, so stressful work + stressful home life = disaster), and two-income marriages have their own issues, which the Man usually takes the burden of having to deal with.

Honestly, I don’t think marriage has EVER been a good deal for Men. I believe most Men took on the burden of marriage because of a sense of duty and loyalty to their children. To provide some sort of stability and structure for their offspring, thus ensuring that their progeny has a higher chance at success in life. Women obviously don’t give a shit, considering all around the world they are the ones who initiate the majority of divorces for the most fickle of reasons.

Women are more interested in the glamour, the status, the image of marriage. Men are more interested in the pragmatic idea of building a stable structure for their kids.

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DevilDog April 8, 2012 at 18:40

That would also explain why for a large part of history, marriage was used as a tool to bring lineages together. To make powerful lineages even more powerful and wealthy, and weaker lineages more powerful and wealthy. Considering that this was propagated by Men for the most part, and is prevalent internationally in all cultures, it would resonate with my theory above.

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