Preparing for the Super Bowl

by W.F. Price on February 5, 2012

America’s most important sports event is about to start, so I thought I should remind men not to neglect their last-minute preparations. As we all know (thanks to feminists), the Super Bowl is not only a time for enjoying a great game, but also for beating and enslaving women. When shopping for your Super Bowl party, you should keep in mind that you’ll need more than just chips, salsa and beer.

So, I’ve prepared a handy little checklist you can take to the store, so as to better beat your wife and torture your underage Cambodian sex slave during commercial breaks and halftime:

1. “wife-beater” tank tops

2. hickory rod (follow the “rule of thumb”)

3. brass knuckles

4. cattle prod

5. CIA interrogator’s phrasebook (Cambodian/English)

6. manacles

7. chains and padlock

8. duct tape

9. ball gag

10. large, portable dog kennel

Most of these items can be found at your local mall, so if you aren’t already prepared get out there and get ready! Without a hefty dose of patriarchy-style sadism, the Super Bowl just isn’t the same.

{ 52 comments… read them below or add one }

Raj February 5, 2012 at 13:51

…and during gameplay I can imagine the ball as an oppressed woman being passed from man to man and finally kicked out. Ah the joys of manhood.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 2
HereIsAManWhoStoodUp February 5, 2012 at 13:54

I am going to set the over/under at 9.5 for the number of commercials in which men are portrayed as idiots.

Personally, I will take “over.”

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 26 Thumb down 1
American February 5, 2012 at 14:04

Guys, as folks are coming over today for the superbowl party, the host of the party should tell everyone attending that, “Women are now a legal liability when they have been drinking, and if they drink more than 1 beer, they have to go home.”

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 38 Thumb down 4
greyghost February 5, 2012 at 14:05

Thanks for reminding me Welmer I almost forgot about that. I’m kicking Mrs. greyghost ass right after I finish my 5th beer after kick off.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 3
American February 5, 2012 at 14:12

The perversions that have been embraced into the American law enforcement system, that do not hold women equally accountable for their violence (Like men), will only “Empower” the Gender-feminist community in the immediate.
There will be longer term consequences that folks are just starting to understand.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 7
Uncle Elmer February 5, 2012 at 14:18

not to be repetitive, but :

Sex And The Super Bowl: Indianapolis Puts Spotlight On Teen Sex Trafficking

http://www.forbes.com/sites/meghancasserly/2012/02/02/sex-and-the-super-bowl-indianapolis-spotlight-teen-sex-trafficking/

elmer 5 hours ago

One can understand why feminists vigorously promote the sex trafficking myth – it’s a lucrative source of funding towards feminist careers.

But the “Christian” organizations? When one considers that churches are well-documented pedophile magnets perhaps their vociferous campaigns against sporting-event sex trafficking is really a smokescreen to deflect attention away from their own abuse of young children.

And face it ladies, the U.S. military is probably the number one supporter of whoring. Every military base is surrounded by brothels, porn shops, strip clubs, and free-lance hookers. I sure got a dose as a wee lad of 18 in the U.S. Army, where whorehouse mythos was ingrained in the culture and harkened back to our great-grandpappies “walking down the line”. Why I remember my drill sergeant who had us chanting in unison his favorite ditty about “The Whorehouse Quartet”. Then when I went to Ft.Bragg and as a “cherry” the fellas took me to Fayetteville where “hos” plied their trade openly in front of the local constabulatory, vigorously competing with one another to sell a “date” to young G.I.s. Most of them smelled bad and had festering sores on their face so I never indulged, personally. And my dad had warned me about these things.

Which brings up a funny story. After I was “discharged” I had been taking my clothes to a public laundrymat which apparently had hard water that stained my underwear urine drops a rusty color. I was visiting my folks and of course brought a load of laundry for my dear old mom to process. I was asleep in my old bedroom and Pops comes in and pulls up a chair next to my bed and asks “How are you feeling, Elmer?”. I groggily said “fine”. Then he says “Your mother says she has found blood in your underwear.” I thought “what the hell?” then remembered the hard water stains and explained it to him. He seemed unconvinced and walked out silently. Old Pops grew up in an old Arizona mining town on the Mexican border where brothels were common and penicillin had not yet been invented. Also he had some interesting tales about the all-Black Army unit stationed nearby. I could relate because my own Army unit was like 95% Black.

But I digress. Point is you anti-trafficking ladies, why not go after the U.S. Military? Your efforts are sure to save more young girls from being trafficked than going after sporting buffoons who like to “tailgate” and paint their bellies in their favorite team colors. Or would it not be good “PR” and funding strategy to go after our “Heroes in Uniform”?

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 2
Aharon February 5, 2012 at 14:19

Damn, I think most people in San Francisco already have several varieties of all those items. Today, during the game, NYC Mayor Bloomberg is pushing his anti-gun propaganda and the femi-nazis are pusing their anti-male propaganda.

OT:
‘Wash. considers collecting DNA upon arrest’
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/46272984/ns/local_news-portland_or/

I’m wondering if this law passes if all those men falsely accused of rape and DV will now be forced to give a sample of their DNA upon arrest to the anti-male police-nanny state which we know will not be destroyed even upon an acquittal.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 3
Troll King February 5, 2012 at 14:28

MMMMMMmmmm, manacles. Yum. Yum Yum….

I have absolutely no idea what a manacles is but it sounds awesome.

I can’t wait to use it in some anal torture with my new girlfriend. Obviously I will have to make sure to kidnap and sell and traffic her friends while using it.

Oh, and I will definately need to rape them all and while I am at it I might need to pick up some chips and salsa and some shiner bock beer….mmmmm, Shinerbock and chips and dip…mmmmm…..

Thank gawd we live in a PATRIARCHY and we are able to order trafficked whores like dominoes pizza.

Shit. On a serious note that does reminder me.

Reminder: Don’t beat or rape a woman today.

On a more serious note…..Thank god I don’t live in a dry county. Fuck…I live in the south. I better go to the only store in town and by some liquer….oh, fuck…its sunday….Ok, better get off of here and go buy some beer while there still is some.

PS. Not kidding about the beer and liquer situation. I don’t kid about that. It sucks living in TN sometimes. Atleast I live in a wet county.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2
NWOslave February 5, 2012 at 14:33

I wonder how many adverts will be for bashing men and/or pedestalizing women?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 2
AfOR February 5, 2012 at 15:12

What is this “superbowl” of which you speak?

>;*)

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 1
Charles Martel February 5, 2012 at 15:56

What is this “superbowl” of which you speak?

Now that was funny. Thanks for the laugh!

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
Snark February 5, 2012 at 16:01

“Reminder: Don’t beat or rape a woman today.”

Ugh, I already didn’t do this all week. I was hoping to slip a beating/raping in this weekend, I guess these reminders are good though. Who KNOWS what us men might accidentally get up to if we didn’t have these constant reminders about how rapey we are!

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 26 Thumb down 1
Ryu February 5, 2012 at 16:41

Interesting story out of Washington state.

Man blows up his house with his two kids in it.
http://news.yahoo.com/blast-kills-husband-missing-utah-woman-2-boys-220725463.html

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 3
Aharon February 5, 2012 at 16:51

“Interesting story out of Washington state.’

It seems more sad and terrible than anything else. It is somewhat relevant here, possibly, since the man and his ex-wife divorced and she went missing December 2009. Did the divorce process push the father emotionally over the edge or was he already a bastard? Probably, we’ll never know.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 9
Mickey T February 5, 2012 at 17:14

RE: Josh Powell

I saw the story on TV. There are a lot of scumbags and people with mental problems out there, but (to me) there is something about this story that just doesn’t quite add up.

Guess we’ll have to wait and see what else might surface on the story.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
Aservant February 5, 2012 at 17:32

HOLY FUCK!!!!!!

I don’t give a shit about the superbowl, I am actually working now, but I just happened to pass by the TV at half time and I am still picking my jaw up off the floor………

Who besides other whores, queers, feminists and adolescent girls gives a fuck about Madonna? This is such blatant social engineering through a feminist power play it has my head spinning. What next? A gay circus act at Nascar?

Coincidentally, I happened to stumble upon Madonna’s Wikipedia page a couple of weeks ago……you gotta see it. You would think that this cunt had cured cancer and established world peace by the acolades to her on that page. It goes on and on about her so-called “achievments and contributions” (yes gentlemen, if you didn’t know, she is so much more than a singing, dancing, powerslut).

And now, the rauchist feminist cunt that ever lived is the headliner for the undoubtedly most man-oriented event of the year.

This society is truly fucked……………but as they say…..worse is better…

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 35 Thumb down 5
Turbo the Drycleaner February 5, 2012 at 17:40

We should have a spearhead superbowl party next year. We can get together and scheme new ways to opress women.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 1
Aservant February 5, 2012 at 17:50

My previous post should read, of course,….”raunchyist”…..if indeed this is a word……perhaps “most raunchy” is better….or even better still “cum-guzzling-gutter-slut”…..yeah……….that’s the ticket……

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 5
RL February 5, 2012 at 18:02
freebird February 5, 2012 at 18:03

Ah yes,beer,football,beatings, and rape.
As American as apple pie,coca-cola, and Chevy trucks.

I am conflicted as to beat her first and then rape her, or rape her first and then beat her?
So many choices!

Raping good article,by the way.

Note to self:
Don’t rape or beat tomorrow

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 1
Aharon February 5, 2012 at 19:02

RL,

Thanks for the link. It was a a good read.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3
Jaego Scorzne February 5, 2012 at 19:19

How bout that head butt commercial? Women must love it but it’s mostly men watching. So, is advertising only about making money or is it also social control? Or how about the White guy licking the Black guy’s fingers last year – can it get anymore insulting?

Can you imagine a man head butting a woman commercial? After all this, I would make a point of buying the product after that.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 17 Thumb down 1
American February 5, 2012 at 19:46

The protocol perversions and semantics games that American law enforcement have been engaged in over the last 25 years to manufacture “empowerment” rhetoric for Gender-Raunch, are not only a stain on American law enforcement, but are beyond the scope of “policing Powers” that the US Constitution calls for them to engage in.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 11
Budnick February 5, 2012 at 19:58

Man blows up his house with his two kids in it.

What I don’t understand is why he didn’t take out a few judges instead of instead of his innocent children.

If I was driven to that point I would make sure to hit some targets that actually counted.

A whack job who shouldn’t be held up/ or excused by anyone here.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 13 Thumb down 2
Fabron February 5, 2012 at 20:06

One million battered women in America and I’ve been eating mine plain.

(That line is borrowed from author Joe Bageant.)

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 4
Rebel February 5, 2012 at 20:09

I was wondering… is it really safe to have superbowl day so close to DV day? Having those two days of extreme violence so close to one another… mmmh… I wonder…

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
Anon February 5, 2012 at 20:19

The real reason they hate the superbowl is that they see men having a good time for two hours without the woman.

Remember, in a relationship with a woman, EVERY HOUR of time you use for something that does not benefit HER, is ‘abuse’.

Men have no similar such desire to prevent a woman from pursuing her (usually unimpressive) hobbies.

Women cannot survive without a constant stream of male attention, thus the Superbowl is the most hated even.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 41 Thumb down 6
Aharon February 5, 2012 at 20:52

“One million battered women in America and I’ve been eating mine plain”.

I’ll never look at battered catfish the same way.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 6
sestamibi February 5, 2012 at 20:56

@HereIsAManWhoStoodUp

Admittedly I wasn’t paying close attention to the commercials, most of which really sucked and were far inferior to those of prior years.

However, the only one I found that could really be said to make men look like idiots was the Volkswagen effort showing a dweeby beta enticed to buy a “chariot” by a hot babe. Yeah right, as if a minicar like that was going to get him laid. (roll eyes here)

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1
Aharon February 5, 2012 at 20:58

“I was wondering… is it really safe to have superbowl day so close to DV day? Having those two days of extreme violence so close to one another… mmmh… I wonder…”

Next, there comes Vagina err I mean Valentines Day to extort men. I guess ‘it’s only fair’ to guilt trip men so that men go out and buy a pair of diamond earrings to make up for all the fish battering that 90% of men do to women all year long (eyes rolling here).

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 4
sestamibi February 5, 2012 at 21:00

I thought Madonna actually put on a pretty good show, even if it must have cost about $3-4 million for the 15-minute effort. In case you missed it, she did “Vogue”, some new number I didn’t recognize, “Open Your Heart”, and “Like A Little Prayer”. I was hoping for “Borderline”, but I would have absolutely been floored if she did “Material Girl” or “Like A Virgin” (or even “La Isla Bonita”). Not G-rated I guess.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 8 Thumb down 19
Rocco February 5, 2012 at 21:29

Very intersting propaganda ploy calling them “teen” prostitutes. These would be 18 and 19 year olds.

There is a very hard push by feminists to extend childhood for women up to age 20. Used to be 16.

I can only imagine they will eventually stop at 26 and and that is found with a pic of naked 25 year olds on their computer…..however they got there……will have their families evicerated and loose their sanity.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 4
Aharon February 6, 2012 at 03:16

“There is a very hard push by feminists to extend childhood for women up to age 20″.

Why not lifetime childhood unaccountability — though with full special class status privileges — for women? (sarcasm off) Meanwhile, let me guess that the feminists want to start manhood accountability for males at puberty or is it at birth?

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 17 Thumb down 4
Art Vandelay February 6, 2012 at 05:49

Why not lifetime childhood unaccountability — though with full special class status privileges — for women? (sarcasm off) Meanwhile, let me guess that the feminists want to start manhood accountability for males at puberty or is it at birth?

At conception so the preemptive death penalty can be carried out at the mothers time of choice.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1
American February 6, 2012 at 06:43

Excellent article Uncle Elmer.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3
American February 6, 2012 at 06:45

I Agree Aahron, we should brew up some real good articles to discuss on Vagina day that is coming up soon.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 4
Aharon February 6, 2012 at 08:41

@American,

Several years ago, prior to V-Day, I typed up five different really biting comments that could be inserted into the comments section following what would be the mass media’s usual stupid over-done romantic articles about love on V-Day. They were funny killer comments that ripped women up pretty good. I inserted them sometimes several times after one article or spread out since the mas medias often run more than one story. The feminists and modern womyn were so pissed in their replies to my comments. It was really funny.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 6
Aharon February 6, 2012 at 09:14

@American,

The Brady Gang to outlaw firearms is trying to create a boycott of Starbucks starting on V-Day. Unlike others, the coffee chain has refused to get involved in the gun debate and outlaw guns on their property. Starbucks defers to whatever the laws are in each area a Starbucks is located within.

The pro-gun community has reacted with a massive call, it’s being promoted on numerous gun blogs and sites, to go to a Starbucks on V-day and buy something with a $2 bill (Thomas Jefferson ie Mr. Liberty).

The MRA movement is still too small and independent to join in force yet I like the general idea. BTW, it’s not like the femi-nazis can do much to us threatening businesses since they currently control near the whole card deck.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 4
keyster February 6, 2012 at 09:16

You either attend a Super Bowl Party with women or you stay home and watch it by yourself. They will endlessly chitter-chatter and gossip the entire game, except for the half-time show where their eyes will be silently affixed to the screen, and they yell at the men to shut up. They wanted to watch the Alpha Female Madonna strut her stuff.

The five or six women I was with yesterday (accompanied by their compliant man-slaves), wanted the Giants to win. When I asked why they wanted the Giants to win one of them said, “Because Tom Brady is a Womanizer and he gets women pregnant then leaves them.” The other women agreed that Tom Brady was a jerk and that Eli Manning seemed like a sweet guy and good husband. THAT’S why they wanted the Giants to win!

One single mom brought her baby and the volume had to be turned way down and we had to all whisper because “the baby was sleeping”. I will be staying home next year to watch the game by myself, just so I can hear it as well as watch it for once.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 4
American February 6, 2012 at 10:04

Aahron, If “yer going in” to any gender-feminist websites on Vagina day, and need a wing man to watch the flank, i got ya covered. Rock on!!

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 5
American February 6, 2012 at 10:17

Aarhon, another critical aspect to expand the mens rights conversation, is to expand the readership here at “The spearhead”. Out of all the Mens Rights Activist sites, I find that the spearhead lives up to its title.
If we all made the effort to suggest “The Spearhead” to a few friends each day, growth would be steady.
The Spearhead is the cutiing edge, the Avante Guard!!

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 4
Rocco February 6, 2012 at 10:27

OT

I have an idea for a positive form of mens rights acivism. Why don’t we refuse to buy chocolates for woman on valentines day unless they certify all chocolate from Africa…not just what you buy, but all chocolate is free from child labor which is vastely overly male.

It’s a win/win, we help boys and they don’t get fatter.

MRA: Don’t buy child labor chocolate for V day.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 3
Aharon February 6, 2012 at 10:43

@American and Rocco,

You both have great ideas. American, I would imagine that feminist sites will just delete our comments. I might post some up on the non-feminist sites such as San Francisco Chrionicle’s sfgate (lots of feminist and mangina readers), The Good Boy err Men Project, and maybe MSNBC, etc. If this thing could be orchestrated among the MRM sites, it could be a lot of fun, and it could express to womyn that they are not as wonderful as they imagine.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 4
Robert February 6, 2012 at 11:41

Uncle Elmer February 5, 2012 at 14:18

“But I digress. Point is you anti-trafficking ladies, why not go after the U.S. Military?”
They have been going after the U.S military ( False rape, sexual assault/assault, sexual harassment acuusations, et al).

Your efforts are sure to save more young girls from being trafficked than going after sporting buffoons who like to “tailgate” and paint their bellies in their favorite team colors. Or would it not be good “PR” and funding strategy to go after our “Heroes in Uniform”?

Feminists, and their ilk already have every “sphere” of women’s existences covered as “victims, regardless of their appearances/behaviors/actions ( immunity/impunity for “females only”.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2
Robert February 6, 2012 at 11:43

Aharon February 6, 2012 at 10:43
@American and Rocco,

“You both have great ideas. American, I would imagine that feminist sites will just delete our comments.”

Feminists cannot delete our comments/ideas/facts, etc. on facebook.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2
Robert February 6, 2012 at 11:45

I claim facebook as a domain where men can post whatever we want. We have the right to freedom of speech, expression etc. without limits. It IS ours.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2
joeb February 6, 2012 at 11:52

They Gay-ed up my Superbowl , Man I can’t stand it no more . Gladiator pulling a tramp on a sled . Its Just to gay . This is a massage Id rather my boys did not see . Today its a crime to be straight and to be offended by such garbage .

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 7
joeb February 6, 2012 at 11:59

Yes just got kicked of of Yahoo for saying they gayed up my Superbowl .
Its not going to stop they are going to Gay your Boys up and Make it illegal to be a Man .

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 6
Gentsworth February 6, 2012 at 14:26

I hate the Super Bowl, and as such do not require its occurrence as approval to perform patriarchal superiority upon my significant other.

Not that I have a significant , but whatever, you get my point.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1
American February 6, 2012 at 14:34

Rocco, that is a genious idea!! Im in.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 3
Dehbashi February 7, 2012 at 08:42

[QUOTE] keyster February 6, 2012 at 09:16
The five or six women I was with yesterday (accompanied by their compliant man-slaves), wanted the Giants to win. When I asked why they wanted the Giants to win one of them said, “Because Tom Brady is a Womanizer and he gets women pregnant then leaves them.” The other women agreed that Tom Brady was a jerk and that Eli Manning seemed like a sweet guy and good husband. THAT’S why they wanted the Giants to win! [/QUOTE]

What’s funny Keyster is that Moniyihan left Brady. It was only after she realized that she was pregnant and Brady went with Gisele, she brought it to the whole world hoping he would come back to her. He didn’t bite. If the media actually did proper reporting, people may be smarter. And to show how much childish that B-Level actress is, she named their child John Edward Thomas, which is JET for short, the biggest rival of the Patriots.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
Common Monster February 7, 2012 at 10:06

The best thing about the SB is it marks the end of the football season — for a few months.

You guys are right about the conversion of Feb 14th to DV Day. My local Fox station, which covers the whole state, is having a week long series of special reports on women’s safety, featuring lurid woman-in-danger reenactments, 911 tape replays, endless repetition of the (now) “1 in 3″ hate statistic, etc. The thing is so heavy-handed you get the message clearly that all women are supposed to be a special class of aristocrats who deserve to be protected from all threat of violence.

Forty years ago, the promise was “equality” (cue “pay gap” stories for next week), but men never seem to get a turn when it comes to addressing certain issues. Everything flows in one direction only.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1

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