Whatever Happened to Good Ole Hypocrisy? As America looks down the barrel of 2012, I’m hoping to bring back one precious but forgotten tenet of our society.
In the past few years, after the election of Barack Obama seemed to shock thousands of spendy and progressive-friendly (they call themselves moderate) Republicans out of their complacent stupors, I started hearing a lot about RINO (Republican in Name Only) Republicans. And I was thrilled. Like a minority of conservatives who were not satisfied just to have a President we’d want to go have a beer with, I had been waiting with bated breath for this collective realization. I hoped it would be a rallying cry for fiscally responsible, individualistic, and religious conservatives to take back the Republican Party. However, while the Tea Party movement has done much to reinvigorate the party’s morale, it has done precious little for the party’s morals.
What I mean is—If the new band of Republican Party revolutionaries are so disgusted by RINO Republicans, why no word on RINO men? After all, RINO politicians are nothing more than RINO men with unbridled blood thirsts for power. Perhaps, this is exactly why. Who likes to look in the mirror and see the picture of Dorian Gray? See the rot and decay of society on their collective conscience? See something that if they stopped to think about it, is unraveling the fabric of American society as fast as mass immigration sans assimilation.
To date, Rick Santorum has been the only candidate to acknowledge, if not with terrible clarity and if not to much avail, that the family unit is the cornerstone of American society. Santorum meekly hints that the horrific number of single-mom (pause to pay homage) headed households are, in some way, shape, or form, a symptom and cause of our crumbling economy. However, unlike Santorum who timidly proffers his thesis, (unless I’m missing something) I would like to stand up and stick my figurative finger in the face of every RINO politician and man ask, “Whatever happened to good ole hypocrisy?!”
Why? I’ll tell you.
RINO Republicans are analogous to fathers who proudly proclaim their conservativeness at dinner parties or perhaps during early afternoon phone calls to El Rushbo’s show, but let their “independently-minded” wives (translation–women who get their marching orders from St. Oprah or more recently, The View) pump their teenagers full of birth control and encourage their daughters to live the lives for which their bra-burning foremothers fought so valiantly. RINO Dads are those guys who will sheepishly to proudly, fill out Republican ballots on Election Day while their wives self-righteously mark their “principled” support for things like, “freedom of choice” and “freedom from poverty.” RINO men are dangerous men because they unconsciously traverse the world as wolves in sheep’s clothing. RINO men are out of touch with the very ideology to which they claim to adhere.
Among the Ten Conservative Principles the Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute lists is the principle of “The Wisdom of the Ages,” #6. “The past is a great storehouse of wisdom,” it reads, “modern people are dwarfs on the shoulders of giants.” These words go directly to the heart of conservatism—to the veneration of the preservation of traditions that have made our country great. When our men (and women) cannot even remember the principled widespread women’s opposition to women’s suffrage because they never even learned about it in the first place, but can instantly recall which American president freed the slaves without also recalling the importance of his most seminal quote—“A house divided cannot stand,” our society is in trouble. And yet, it is these same men, when faced with higher taxes from increased spending and entitlement programs, who angrily wave their fists at their television screens asking, “Doesn’t Congressman (insert RINO name here) know that Republicans are supposed to be fiscally conservative?!” The old adage goes that you “get him where it hurts” and where it hurts is his wallet. Unfortunately, what these RINOs (and the adage) do not realize that Santorum apparently does, is that they have indeed got you men where it hurts the most and where it can do the most damage—they’ve got you by your balls. They’ve got you beside your hearth, they’ve got your wife and your kids and it hurts so bad you can’t even feel it because like a phantom limb, they’re already gone.
In the 1960s and 1970s, feminists and liberals of other stripes started pointing out the hypocrisies of what they termed “patriarchy.” Time and again, they urged us to recognize human’s natural “animal instincts” in relation to traditional morality and therefore, to reject traditional institutions like marriage as outdated because now these intellectual elites had things like biology and sociology, things like women’s studies, gender studies, and critical race theory, to back them up. They pointed to infidelity or infamous sexual desire surveys (conducted by homosexuals) among traditionally married couples to “prove” their theses. Limb by limb, they tore the traditional family to shreds until they reduced us to the shining bastion of cesspool equality that we have now in every American ghetto and which is seeping out into the middle and upper classes in less animated ways. For instance, we have raised an entire generation of boys who, permanently scarred by their parents’ divorces, (perhaps over issues such as infidelity) cannot emotionally connect or commit to any one woman in any meaningful way and so we also have an entire generation of girls for whom that coveted diamond solitaire comes later and later in life, with more and more contractual caveats (prenups). Somehow, when it happens after 5 years of living together, after 1 year of non-exclusive dating followed by another 3 years of recurring breakups over the male’s unwillingness to “commit,” getting that ring for which you girls will surely be paying your hard-earned half doesn’t feel quite like the fairytale it used to. But maybe that’s ok, since both modern versions of “Alice in Wonderland” and more recently, “Snow White,” (and this has nothing to do with the feminist agenda I’m sure) historically revise both heroines to be hard-assed soldiers.
It is entirely fair to say that the number of broken homes and otherwise “modern” families reflect an unquestionable victory for the feminists/liberals who intended to destroy and transform that sacred cornerstone of American society—the traditional family. While RINO Dads and men are often heard snickering about feminists around the water cooler, they do not realize that by virtue of being RINOs, they are complying with the same feminist/liberal system of social engineering they sneer at when manifested in more obvious forms like the black single-mother society, and are setting their own sons up to be the “playas” and their daughters up to be the “played.” RINO men should realize that by failing to do the job their Republican foremothers cherished, their wives are leading Republican culture to its demise. They should realize that non-black youth today speaks the language of bitches and hoes as well as black youth and that non-black youth males expect the same level of promiscuity from their female peers. Take, for instance, pop-star and young white girl idol, Ke$ha. Her breakthrough music video, “Tik Tok,” which incidentally utilizes about as many syllables as an ADHD-ridden culture can handle, features her waking up in her parent’s bathtub, filthy, fully-dressed, and hung-over after a long night of partying. Without bothering to attend to hygiene (granola-brand feminists should love this), Ke$ha, who, like black ghetto youth, refers to the police as “po po” and who is apparently still young enough to be living with her parents, drunkenly stumbles downstairs to her well-dressed, clean-cut, conservative-looking nuclear family, sneers at them in all her godforsaken glory, and walks out. This behavior causes her video mother to drop the stack of pancakes she is serving and provokes her helpless family to follow Ke$ha onto their perfectly manicured lawn while her video father, who reminds me of a debutante about to faint, follows the rest of the family out of doors with the loyalty of a fuzzy Golden Retriever. This video reportedly rose to fame because of the “irreverence” it displayed to a catchy tune and Ke$ha’s interesting enunciation (she doesn’t sing in the song at all but singing is probably a social construct anyway).
“Tik Tok” might as well be a Discovery Channel documentary on the behavior of that intriguing species known as the RINO Dad. Apparently, though her video father seems capable of amassing enough wealth to afford his family a shiny, comfortable lifestyle, he is completely powerless against the will of his monstrous teenaged whore child. Perhaps Ke$ha’s father learned along the way that if he beat the hell out of Ke$ha like she deserves and then sent her to a convent, he would become a social pariah and end up in jail. Perhaps he never even thought about convents because after robotically repeating “Happy Holidays” at Christmastime each year, he forgot that God exists. Or perhaps, more likely, he became “enlightened” along the way and learned that Ke$ha is just experimenting with her sexuality and that he could not possibly judge or rebuke her because after all, doesn’t he himself fantasize about getting plastered and engaging in coitus with a young, blonde female from time to time? Upbraiding his daughter who is brave enough to do this openly would be pure hypocrisy, right? And he couldn’t possibly be a hypocrite, right? An enabler, an accessory, a castrated, dumbfounded puppet, but never a hypocrite, right?
Unfortunately for the feminist/liberal agenda to dismantle civilization as we know it and replace it with a new world order, man has been aware of his all too human tendencies from the earliest times. Indeed, every religion has been aware of these tendencies, and has acknowledged and appreciated them accordingly with blessed things like the 10 Commandments. St. Augustine of Hippo, who is a veritable goldmine for words of wisdom wrote, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” It is indisputably appropriate to acknowledge human frailty but it is also indisputably appropriate to acknowledge man’s inborn striving for that which is higher, better, more beautiful, and holier. Just as man’s desire for sex and food is beyond doubt, so too is his desire for the ideal, in all the forms he recognizes, in all the systems in which he partakes. Tragically, the intellectual elites of our era seek to destroy and demean the cherished truth of the ideal and they prey on post 1960s women, who are supposedly more educated and freer than all of their foremothers combined, to do it. From extreme vanity sizing to demands that magazine models (anorexic and unattractively thin models notwithstanding) look like the “real” size 8 woman, who historically would measure in at a size 16 to 20, modern women of the West are on the apocalyptic “Wild Hunt” for the ideal and are leaving terrific destruction in their wake. As women spearhead the demise of the ideal, the alternative to hypocrisy, they spearhead the demise of social order as we know it and love it. Henceforth, all of us will be staring down the barrel of life in a hip hop video or government-funded project where no one makes pretenses about “wat they be.” Where no one has to succumb to sin because sinning is the status quo and where no one need ridiculously pretend to be faithful because well, we would have wisely outgrown such primitive notions about nuclear families as individual economies. We would have outgrown capitalism itself because government entitlement spending would have to grow ten-fold to accommodate and assist the burgeoning hoards of single-mom children born of the scarred sons of divorce who accidentally inseminated their female sex partners, or couples who themselves participated in that modern American rite of passage we call divorce.
A few months ago, I heard relentless accounts of affairs Sarah Palin had earlier in life. Apparently, she was quite the man’s lady. If one were to believe the accounts, she also “took cocaine,” whatever that means. What’s funny and so beautiful is that I never knew a thing about Mrs. Palin’s exploits until she was recently “exposed” I never even had a clue that she was such a potentially bad example. For some strange reason, Mrs. Palin never publically, (or privately, to my knowledge) encouraged her daughters or anyone for that matter, to engage in libertine sex or snort drugs. In light of these revelations, I’m now thinking that she exhibited some pretty strange behavior when, instead of flouting the bonds of marriage like she purportedly did in her alleged moments of human frailty, she encouraged her daughter to marry *wait for it* THE FATHER OF HER CHILD! That BAREFACED HYPOCRITICAL HUSSY! She didn’t even give up her stance on abstinence. Sick, Deluded, Bigot.
Maybe it’s just possible, being the rogue Grizzly Momma that she is, Mrs. Palin has not yet allowed her brain to be washed by the liberal guard. Is it possible that she is actually a red-blooded human being who makes mistakes and not a middle-management tool or a candidate (not that I’m advocating her election) straight from the Elect Your Local SocioPath video? Could it be that regardless of whether or not she is able to live up her ideals 100% of the time, she still holds them dear? Could it be that this supposedly stupid woman, who never attended an elite college in her life, has some uncanny insight into the practical societal consequences of an unmarried teen mom America? Could it be that she knows right from wrong, her elbow from her… ? And for those of you who will snidely parrot, “She did it for her political image!” why is it that Cheney’s daughter parades around as a lesbian, or that Cindy McCain, Barbara and Laura Bush have all gone public in favor of homosexual marriage? Maybe it’s because they’re RINO women married to RINO men who will publish and publicize themselves taking controversial positions opposing their husband’s and conservative doctrine’s most fundamental beliefs? House divided, anyone? These are the people you’re entrusting with our children’s futures? In these desperate times? In the words of our American Beauty Ke$ha, in her homage to bestiality, “This place about to BLOWW UPPP AAHA AHA UH OHH!”
I hope we’re all as drunk and prettily dressed as her when it happens.
So, let us take this moment to reflect on the lessons Mrs. Palin has taught us and the great tradition of hypocrisy so many of you have left behind:
RINO Dads, the next time you see your daughter bounding (or sauntering) down the stairs in a pair of booty shorts with messages like “juicy” emblazoned on her backside, please stop her, turn her around, and force her to go upstairs and change. As you march her room-ward, tell her why she can’t dress like this, school her on the consequences of her behavior. Do it even if you were on your way to your man cave to watch porn featuring teenaged-looking girls dancing around in booty shorts with messages like “juicy” emblazoned on their backsides. Do it for your daughter, yourself, society, the ideal, but most of all, do it because you now remember that hypocrisy has always been our last, best hope.