Marriage Counseling is Useless

by W.F. Price on May 26, 2011

There’s a huge industry devoted to marital problems, and although many of the actors declare that they are dedicated to creating healthy families, the fact that they profit from their dissolution should tell us all we need to know. Marriage counseling is one of these industries that directly benefits from the destruction of the family, so even though some of its proponents may purport to support men, the exercise is a waste of time.

Let’s face it: when your wife wants marriage counseling, your marriage is probably over. Men should simply accept that such a request is a red flag, and a clear sign that the marriage is doomed. If she isn’t already cheating, she’s been talking to her mother or an attorney, which means that the first suggestion of “counseling” is little more than a declaration of war. Women never come straight out and say “I’m about to destroy your life,” but when she says “we need to see a counselor” that’s about as clear as it gets. No other words besides “I’m not happy” should so obviously prompt men to prepare for the fight of their lives, so rather than spend his money on a counselor any man confronted with them should grab every spare bit of cash he can and find a good attorney.

As men, we have to remember that we are subject to immediate dispossession and possibly incarceration on the word of the women in our lives, so counseling is a very bad bet. In fact, a counselor may be required to testify in court on one’s wife behalf, because anything said in confidence to a professional, and even one’s medical records, will be handed over to a wife’s attorney as a matter of common procedure. Men must understand that any professional is therefore a potential enemy. In fact, even your mother is suspect in this regard — she may well deep-six you in court out of loyalty to her sex or in the hope that it will give her access to the grandchildren.

The sad truth is that no professional who is not legally required to hold your every word in confidence can be trusted. That’s not to mention laymen, of course, who should not be trusted much either, but at least if they are male they’ll usually (but not always) avoid taking sides.

It is not men in our contemporary society who need counseling and coaching — we have a surfeit of programs dedicated to controlling men. No, it is women who would benefit from a dose of reality, because they simply don’t have to face it under our laws. Everything about our society has been arranged to shield women from reality, so men, who have already faced the world and its horrors, simply don’t need anyone to tell them how they should change.

If your wife or girlfriend ever suggests that you need counseling, the best practice is to listen patiently, say nothing, and make plans to eject her from your life.

You can talk to your priest, your lawyer and your dog, but never assume it’s safe or useful to say anything to anyone else.

{ 99 comments… read them below or add one }

Firepower May 26, 2011 at 13:17

I will give you a firsthand account.

Most insurance company compensated “counseling” is about making money for insurance companies.

ALL government mandated counseling for marriage, DUI or child-related issues is about making money for cash strapped governments.

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Opus May 26, 2011 at 13:19

Whatever you do, do not talk to your lawyer about your marriage. He cannot help and paying him vast sums of money to empathise is a waste of his time and of your money.

In an English Divorce one had to certify whether one had provided the name of someone who could assist repair the marriage. You either had or hadn’t. I never did, so I always certified not.

I have never met anyone who told me that attending Marriage guidance had saved their marriage.

I am reminded of Socrates in Gorgias
“Go on ask him”
“Ask him what?”
“Ask him what he does”

and Socrates goes on to demonstrate that Gorgias does not have the skill [Techne] he claims to have as Gorgias cannot properly explain what he does – and I am sure the same is true of a Counsellor – it is I suspect more psycho-babble.

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novaseeker May 26, 2011 at 13:36

Very true.

One of the main problems is that counseling typically is done based on female relationship paradigms which inherently problematize normal male behaviors and pathologize them. Most of the counselors themselves are women, and even the ones who are not women are mostly quite feminist in viewpoint, and many are operating from the start that the man is at fault by default and therefore the sessions tend to be about problematizing the husband’s behavior.

Women are generally the ones who suggest counseling, and it’s almost never out of a desire to actually fix the marriage — or, rather, to actually change their behavior in a way that would fix the marriage. Women suggest counseling typically because they have already decided to leave (or that there is a very good chance they will leave) and because in counseling they will: (1) get more credibility and back-up for their decision to leave (and they are usually confident they will get this in counseling and they’re usually right) and (2) buy time so that she can work on her exit strategy (lawyers, finances, wardrobe/appearance, other men) while her husband is thinking she’s working on the marriage, thereby ensuring that she “gets the drop” on him, legally, when she decides to squeeze the trigger. If you’re a guy and in counseling, Bill is right: get a lawyer, and get one right now. Don’t let her get the drop on you legally. Do your own preparation so that when she pulls the trigger, you can fire right back, quickly, and control the damage.

The bottom line is that while a handful of marriages survive counseling, the overwhelming majority do not. It’s a waste of time if you think it’s really going to fix your marriage. By the time she suggests counseling, your wife already has at least one foot out the door, probably has discussed leaving you with her friends/mother/gay-confidante/lawyer and may also be sucking another man’s cock already. It’s not that she really wants to work on the marriage, you can rest assured that this is not why she’s recommending it, 90% of cases. However, if you want to do it to buy time so that you can be prepared yourself, then you’re approaching it the smart way.

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atma May 26, 2011 at 13:41

Life is becoming like a game.
It begins with people falling.
Then they rise again.
Then they remain silent.
Then their kids fall.
The kids rise again.
The kids are forced to remain silent.
And it continues.

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oddsock May 26, 2011 at 13:43

Its not been called Marriage Counselling in the UK for decades. It’s now called “Relate”. I think a misconception about this type of counselling is that it is supposed to save a relationship/marriage. Not true, it can also be about ending it with minimum upset.

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Charles Martel May 26, 2011 at 13:48

From personal experience, there are two kinds of marriage counselors – women, and men that think like women. The men are worse. At least with the women you have something to look at while your wife is explaining what a bastard you are.

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Rebel May 26, 2011 at 13:51

The term “marriage counselling” coming from her mouth is the signal.

All provisions to protect capital must be made.

Victory belongs to who strikes first.

Just like street fights.

That’s legal.

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Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) May 26, 2011 at 13:52

Lead story right now…..pop over and have your say.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1391118/Ryan-Giggss-wife-says-stick-footballer-despite-Imogen-Thomas-affair.html

My comment was.

Notice how you women love to HATE on a man who has an affair but you will HIDE and DEFEND women who have affairs, abuse children, and commit serious crimes like perjury, kidnapping, extortion and theft. I know because women are hiding all this and more with respect to my ex.

There is only one word for that. Hypocrisy.

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dragnet May 26, 2011 at 14:10

No, it is women who would benefit from a dose of reality, because they simply don’t have to face it under our laws. Everything about our society has been arranged to shield women from reality, so men, who have already faced the world and its horrors, simply don’t need anyone to tell them how they should change.”

Nailed it.

I addressed this issue in the first paragraph of a comment at Roissy’s awhile back:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2010/05/03/curiosity-women-and-game/#comment-169696

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Lovekraft May 26, 2011 at 14:13

Price: “it is women who would benefit from a dose of reality”

Exactly what is needed. An explanation of their RESPONSIBILITIES, rather than the RIGHTS that they have been fed which have given them a free pass in marriage.

Counseling under the current feminist-dominated culture is just another way to wear down the man to where he is controlled. This is of course what women WANT, but the last thing they NEED.

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SingleDad May 26, 2011 at 14:20

Having been to 6 years of marriage couseling once per week, in my experience I agree with Rebel, when a woman suggests marriage counseling, your relationship is now over.

She knows it is over but wants you to be confused. It is time to go see an attorney and start protecting your assests, quite your job if thats your plan and cement your relationship with your children if you need to.

No woman, in my experience, seeks marriage counseling other than to document she sought marriage counseling for the purposes of divorce court.

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Lara May 26, 2011 at 14:25

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Lara May 26, 2011 at 14:29

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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Em May 26, 2011 at 14:55

Lara,

What a woman should do instead of marriage counseling is step back, take a good hard look at herself and realize she is more than likely the reason the marriage is not happy. She should take the time she’d spend in marriage counseling and use it to think of other people and how she can improve their lives, starting with her husband. If she was more concerned with the happiness of her husband, she wouldn’t have to worry about her own because her husband would more than likely already be doing everything in his power to make her happy.

That’s how it works. Men loves their wives and work to make them happy. Women have forgotten it’s a two way street and don’t bother to make their husbands happy anymore.

Instead of going on a self absorbed vacation, she should give him a guilt free fishing trip(or whatever he likes to do.) Instead of redecorating a room or buying something sparkly, she should save the money so her husband won’t have to work so damn hard.

She’s unhappy because she’s a selfish snot and not because her husband was being the jerk.

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Uncle Elmer May 26, 2011 at 14:59

“Actually she could also use the money to redecorate a room in her house, for new wardrobe or a nice piece of jewelry.”

Or a vaginoplasty, liposuction, and some fake tits, not that it will do her any good.

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Uncle Elmer May 26, 2011 at 15:02

Welmer’s right, it’s just the opening shot in her plan to divest her husband. “I tried everything, including counseling, he just won’t change”.

Had a friend who went through this. The counslers were a man and woman team. He said “She sided with my wife, and he wanted to get in her pants”.

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AfOR May 26, 2011 at 15:04

This may seem off topic, but bear with me.

Tonight I had a coffee with a skank, we can call her A.

Over the past few weeks I have fucked A in all her holes on several different occasions, and on each occasion she has told me how much she is in love with her man, who we shall call B.

Like all wimminz, A shaves her cunt when it is about to be presented to a man she wants to impress, when her cunt isn’t being used to impress (eg trap) a man, or when she knows it won’t, she doesn’t bother shaving it.

Now the point of this, is that A, like all wimminz, defines anything nasty as that which they themselves do not do, if it appears identical to something they do, then some imagined but vastly important difference is conjured up. This is known as a “ratification”.

Counselling is like being assessed by a shrink or social worker to determine if you are a danger to your own fucking kids before you are allowed contact with them, it is that it serves absolutely zero purpose EXCEPT to be used to ratify non existent reasons why the skank mummy is in fact an excellent mummy, and daddy must never be allowed anywhere near his kids again.

Be warned, all me, all these counsellors and assessors and experts should by rights come with a miranda, anything you say can and will be twisted and used against you, no mention whatsoever of anything you say being used on your behalf, because it never happens.

just like the police who arrest you when your ex makes a false rape accusation against you, their job is to nail your ass to the cross, their job is NOT to discover truth.

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Quartermain May 26, 2011 at 15:05

Marriage Counseling is just a more expensive version of a wife trying to drag her poor hubby into going on the Dr. Phil or Jerry Springer show.

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BeijaFlor May 26, 2011 at 15:05

@ Lara May 26, 2011 at 14:25

My advice to a woman in a bad marriage is to take the money she would spend on marriage counseling and use it for a vacation without her husband.

And my advice to the husband is – that solo vacation of hers would be called ABANDONMENT and ESTRANGEMENT in classic divorce law. Consult with all the toughest divorce lawyers in your jurisdiction, so “you’ve already consulted with them” and they can’t work for her now. Change the locks on all the doors. Set a court date and tape her subpoena to the front door when she gets home.

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Commander Shepard May 26, 2011 at 15:06

Male marriage counselors are the definition of manginas. Half are a bunch of SWPL kumbaya faggots. The other half are the religious ones associated with churches who manage to be even worse with their white knighting chivalry.

Marriage counseling is a racket.

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bruno May 26, 2011 at 15:25

She: I’m not happy in our relationship! We need marriage counseling!

Him: Oh, I don’t really think it’s necessary, but if you want it, and you are ready to pay for it, I can give it a try.

She: eeehhh…

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Tim May 26, 2011 at 15:33

Just to reiterate Novaseeker, the world of psychology and counselling is the world of feminism. If you are in counselling it’s already too late, and you’ve lost the frame. Psychology and counselling is not explicitly feminist, but it does contain a fare share of cryptomisandry. A male must work off his guilt, because he is already guilty by default, according to modern psychology.

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oddsock May 26, 2011 at 15:34

I have no idea about other countries but one of the biggest problems here in the UK is anyone can call themselves a relationship counsellor and set themselves up in business. I suspect it is also why there are so many horror stories. Just looking over some of the earlier posts on here speaks volumes. e.g. A husband and wife team ? Amazing! One of the golden rules of counselling is there must be no emotional attachment, however slight, by or with ANY party involved in the process. Otherwise counselling can’t be done. Simple as that. Plus, a major failing is that many people seem to overlook that choosing a counsellor is just the same as choosing a good dentist doctor or lawyer. Sadly, when people are in battle mode, common sense is the first to go out the window. Most people just want someone they think will be on their side. That is not at all the purpose of counselling. If a counsellor even hints of being bias then bin it and look for a better one. The problem these days in find such a counsellor is, as someone already mentioned, most counsellors are women and they have very little understanding of the issues pain anger etc faced by a man, and most male counsellors have also swallowed the heavily feministic and PC views of the day. As I said, men must shop around. Treat it as much the same you would when searching for a good lawyer etc. Another weakness of men, at the end of the day it is your emotional/mental health you are fecking about with.

Would we be so lax so complacent if it was a surgeon we needed ? Men really need to wake up and smell the coffee. Is it any wonder women live 8 years longer ?

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Shawn May 26, 2011 at 16:18

The marriage counseling industry in similar to the self-help industry. Both are designated to tell women they are perfect and the men are the people who can do nothing right. Both industries care nothing about helping improve people’s lives. Marriage counseling and self-help people only care about making money. They know women will drink the kool-aid without looking in the mirror and question what they, the women, did wrong to find themselves unhappy in life.

Nah, that is too inconvenient. Just blame men. A lot easier!

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Classic Joe May 26, 2011 at 16:28

” In fact, even your mother is suspect in this regard — she may well deep-six you in court out of loyalty to her sex or in the hope that it will give her access to the grandchildren. ”

I was pretty young when I started to realize that my mother was rooting against me in most situations. There was always an underlying hostility that she tried to hide but it would come out here and there. I still don’t understand it but I’ve seen it in other women. I know there is evidence for this sort of thing in other places. I remember reading somewhere that young males are far more likely to suffer from neglect than females.

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ruddyturnstone May 26, 2011 at 16:39

Marriage counselors know which side their bread is buttered on.

In the vast majority of cases, it is the wife who wants the counseling. She pushes for it. Nags. Etc. Eventually, the husband says OK. The wife calls up the counselor. She makes the appointment. She rarin’ to go. The husband is dragged there. All of this is obvious to the counselor. And it is what he or she expects anyway, as it the typical case. The husband sits there, in a defensive crouch, his body language screaming “I don’t want to be here!” The wife is leaning forward. She can’t wait to get started.

I have had marriage counselors on message boards tell me that I am absolutely right about this. That they focus on the alleged faults of the person who does not want the counseling. Their rationale is that the other party must be the one with the more pressing grievances, as they are the one pushing for the counseling. The reality is, however, that the one pushing for the counseling is the one the counselor has to please. Because if he or she doesn’t, that spouse will find another counselor. The other spouse, the one who doesn’t want to be there at all, won’t be pleased in any event, and would be happy to never have another session with any counselor. So there’s no point in trying to please him.

The way it goes is the counselor says lets “start” with her complaints. But, usually, they never get to his complaints. If he tries to bring them up, the counselor will say that is a “defense mechanism,” that we are “working” on his problems “now,” and that we will get to his complaints, eventually. After a few sessions, when “eventually” turns out to be never, the guy gets fed up and says screw it. And the counselor goes on to the next customer.

Guys tend to value their privacy more than women, and to be more stoic. They are not comfortable blubbering to some clown about their personal life, their sex life, their petty complaints, and so on. Also, guys tend to be more forgiving and more realistic. They know the Mrs. has faults and that they do too. What they would like is a live and let live attitude. She forgives his faults, and he forgives hers. With as little “communication” about it as is possible. He no more wants to catalogue her faults and hurt her feelings than he wants his own feelings hurt by her cataloging his faults.

But women are not like that. They are, despite all claims to the contrary, insensitive and selfish. They are hurtful and sadistic. They like nothing better than to see their husbands squirm, get defensive, and get their feelings hurt as they belittle them and rake them over the coals in front of a total stranger. They come to the counselor with a long list of complaints, real and imaginary, trivial and serious, and fancy themselves entirely free from fault. And she lays out her grievances in excruciating detail, and in the most self serving and distorted way possible.

She expects the counselor to side with her, and most do. Basically, when she gets tired of belittling and nagging her husband, she hires a counselor (usually with money that her husband, not she, earned) to do it for her. That’s what marriage counseling is, in the vast majority of cases.

Big surprize that it doesn’t work.

As for female counselors, my guess is that more of them are actually fair than their male counterparts. Women know all the tricks that other women play. Also, a female counselor does not slip so easily into the role of “white knight” as a male counselor does. Your typical male marriage counselor embodies more than the usual amount of mangina-feminist-chivalric bullshit. A woman with complaints and accusations must always be taken at face value. A few tears makes her act all the more irrestible. A woman is crying, ergo, in his universe distorted not only by the typical antimale propaganda all men are exposed to but even more in his years in academia and the “soft sciences,” means, ipso facto, that a man must be to blame. Basically, all male behavior is “pathological” anyway, so he must be the one at fault. So, not only does he have an economic interest in taking her side, but he has an emotional one as well.

I agree with the other posters, if your wife starts talking about counseling, go see a divorce attorney. Start putting your affairs in order and get yourself prepared financially, legally and emotionally for a divorce. If you go to the counselor, I would suggest pre empting the scenario I described above. Most guys admit to fault when confronted at the marriage counseling. Don’d do it. Deny everything. Instead, have prepared a long list of her faults. Be the first to speak, even if the counselor “calls” on the wife first. Just butt right in. Chances are, most male marriage counselors will be too much of a pussy to stop you. Say something like, “You know, I’m glad we have this chance to air out our problems. All of them are her fault, specifically, she won’t fuck me often enough, she is a bitch, she is a leach, she doesn’t respect me, my family, my privacy, etc, etc” Take it right to her. See how the counselor responds. Chances are, he’ll be thrown off his game, as will your wife. This will short circuit his standard “side with the wife” approach. By the time they get back on track, your wife will be the one who wants to ditch the counselor. Maybe she’ll get a new counselor, maybe not. But, if she does, play the same game over and over. Say, “I’m perfectly open to counseling, in fact, I welcome it, and these are my complaints about my wife….let’s ‘work” on them.”

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Uncle Elmer May 26, 2011 at 16:46

Off-topic, but wow when I closed my mail window I ended up here :

Real Guys Confess: “I married up!”

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/article.aspx?cp-documentid=28177564

And Honkey, please :

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/staticslideshowglamour.aspx?cp-documentid=28687110

That MSN Lifestyle site sure looks like a lot of useful advice.

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Classic Joe May 26, 2011 at 16:51

@ruddyturnstone – you rock. The internet needs a list of standard “faults” along the lines of the list of shaming tactics. A list that some guy with no interest in sitting around thinking up things that are wrong with his asshole wife can just throw at the bitch when she attacks him.

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Classic Joe May 26, 2011 at 16:53

1. she won’t fuck me often enough
2. she is a bitch
3. she is a leach
4. she doesn’t respect me
5. my family
6. my privacy

good start – that applies about 3 billion places.

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Anonymous Reader May 26, 2011 at 17:00

The title of this article is misleading. Marriage counseling is clearly useless to men, however it is useful to women engaged in serial monogamy. A better title would be

Marriage Counseling Is Dangerous to Marriage

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Charles Martel May 26, 2011 at 17:03

Yeah, ruddyturnstone nailed it. The wife is always the customer in marriage counseling and the counselors know this. Hence counselors are women and men that think like women. They cater to the customer or they don’t make a living.

I guess I’m an outlier because I’ve been through several cycles of this and I’m still married. I shut down one cycle by telling my wife how attractive I thought the female counselor was and maybe she could take a few make-up and grooming tips from her.

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John May 26, 2011 at 17:05

Yes, it is absolutely useless.

I agree as well that in most cases once “counseling” begins, the love of your life has already spread her legs repeatedly for someone else (or several someone else’s) and is using the counseling for either a “legal cover” or she wants the counselor to tell her she really isn’t a wanton lying slut and that she is completely justified for having sex with other men because “you” are a mean, nasty, selfish, demanding person who she is justified in leaving.

Whether the “counselor” (destroyer) is male or female is damned near irrelevant, for the words uttered will be invariably be, “You husband is not validating your feelings” and other such worthless tripe. Just out of curiousity, have any of you ever had your feelings validated? What exactly the hell is that?

I got drug into one of those counseling charades a couple of decades back and the Beta Boy counselor (M.A. in Psych) had already seen her (unbeknownst to me, the deceiving bitch) eight times before “we” went. It was one of those out of the blue “If you don’t go with me to see this counselor we’re getting a divorce!” surprises. I’d been working out of town for four months and hadn’t a clue as to what she had been doing or what her/our “problem” was.

So a few days later off we went to see “Les”, her counselor. After the cursory introductions, this two-bit charlatan starts off by telling me with impressive authority that the word “Blame” should be removed from the dictionary, that the word and its definition just created strife, animosity, and blah, blah – blah, blah. I looked at this guy and thought, “This expletive idiot gets paid for this? He never asked me about “my feelings” or anything, he just went off on the word “blame” and how “hurtful” it was.

What I should have been thinking was, “Why is this jerk even talking about blame?” Yes gentlemen, you guessed it. Someone was to blame for something, and even though I was a (insert string of adjectives here), I wasn’t to “blame” for what I found out about much, much later.

So I looked up at this pencil-necked S.O.B. and said, “Les, I’ve got a bachelors and you’ve a masters, but in my discipline we appreciate and respect the English language and I’m going to continue to use the word blame any God Damned time I want to. Let me give you a demonstration as to why.”

I stood up from the way-too-soft chair and walked over to the window in his office and pulled back the curtain, saying, “Les, do you have a car out here in the parking lot?”

He replied a bit warily with a, “Yes. It’s that beige Volvo there.”

I replied, pointing, ” That one right there?” while thinking, “Beige Volvo, that friggin’ figures…”

Lester said, “Yes”, so I fired back, “Les, do you see that G.M.C. one-ton 4X4 over there? The white one with the lift kit?”

He replied “Yes” again, so I asked him the following; “Les, If I walked out there and fired up my truck and rammed it into your Volvo repeatedly and smashed the shit out of it, would you blame me for doing that? Would you? Would you even use the word blame?”

Les sort of started stammering so I amped up my voice some and said, glaring at him just a bit, “Well? Would you???”

He just stood there with an idiotic look on his face so I said, ” I’m cool with that, Les! You can blame me. If I smash the hell out of your truck it’s okay to blame me! Particularly if I did it deliberately! I figure if someone screws up that it’s just fine to blame them for screwing up. Accident or on purpose, I don’t really give a damn. If it’s an accident I’ll discuss it sensibly, but a conscious, purposeful act is different. Regardless, I assign blame the hell where it lies and then there are going to be consequences. Got it? That’s life in the real world!”

So I turned to the stupid bitch I was married to and said, “If you want to keep listening to this craphead you are free to do so, but this is a waste of my time and our money, so I’m leaving.” Out the door I went, leaving the two idiots dumbfounded.

I guess I had done a pretty fair job of screwing up our “session”, thus little old Lester said that he and the wifey really needed to address what had just happened next week for another hundred and fifty for the fifty. Strangely, something in that several minutes of “counseling” struck her a bit and she left thinking that perhaps I had a point. Duh.

The following week she and Les were discussing the previous session and she was actually defending what I had done. Les, on the other hand, was telling her that she was a woman who “loved too much” and that she should divorce me and join this “weekend encounter group” of women who exhibited the same pathology, and that it was only fifty bucks a session for the weekend group on top of the one hundred fifty for the weekly session. She again raised the validity of my argument but he chided her for being so wrong, that I was indeed horrible and was destroying her self-image.

She finally looked up at him and said, “Les, you aren’t validating my feelings!” and left, never to return.

Blame. It’s cut and dried, and it’s a good word.

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gender foreigner May 26, 2011 at 17:09

Dear All:

There is so much to agree-with and express thanks for.

Being a, “man teacher” and not a, “teacher teacher” in the women’s government schools (not by choice but rather by necessity for force of the women’s state—Affirmative Action Violence Against Men), I am extremely well familiar with the Feminist problem, including Feminist (aka, ALL) Counseling.

I took a couple of Feminist Counseling courses (the only kind available in government universities, of course) and they were EXTREMELY FORWARDLY FEMINIST IN WRITING AND SPEAKING IN ALL REGARDS.

The most recent time I moved to get away from a hell hole in a teaching job which no one else would take (too many assaults with weapons by the literal bastards in the schools and tormenting by the Feminist girls), I went to the Women’s Teacher Union for, “Counseling” as it was recommended by my physician (whose recommendation I obeyed as an almost implied condition to break my contract legally by way of medical disability (heart enlargement as per the above stressors).

The gender quisling (aka, mangina, munt, white knight, etc.) was ENTIRELY AND FORWARDLY FEMINIST IN ALL REGARDS. No surprise there. I took my only meeting with him as an opportunity to talk back to the so and so.

I did so when I was a graduate student in Women’s Studies (aka, Education). That was quite painful, also.

Today, I wrote to The Spearhead as today, IN ADDITION TO THE REGULAR FEMINIST HATE PRACTICES in the Women’s Government Schools, the women (and the ever fewer nonwomen who ALWAYS obey them) had yet another save-the-women/to-hell-with-the-men lunchtime sale today. It was ice-cream cones. Feminist Strawberry Pink was the color du jour (at some level, I was surprised at such as I hadn’t imagined strawberry to be a Feminist flavor–the color associated therewith made it so, of course). I never imagine how bad things really are: reality is the light infantry of any reality check per se.

What made me quite angry/depressed was the further addition to the Feminist walls outside the Feminist Counseling Office of the Feminist High School of yet another Feminist poster by the provincial Feminist Crown corporation (government corporation) which deals with gambling. It announced funding for girls/women and not boys/men to get girls/women into areas of male domination.

The areas mentioned were quite a universe and included EDUCATION (wall-to-wall women) and LAW (wall-to-wall women). Well, f–k the Feminist Counselors and all of the other agencies of Feminist Women’s crimes against the male race.

I pray to the God of Abraham, Isaach and Jacob to act harshly against such gender criminals and I complain much about his apparent doing nothing in such regards.

My WHOLE LIFE is destroyed by such Feminist crimes against men. Counseling is just part of the hate-propaganda machine of violence against men, boys and male babies in ALL things.

If it’s a counselor (and, I can tell you that, “church” counselors are also a bunch of Feminists, too, Hillary Jezebels everywhere–and their property, spineless men): it’s somebody to oppose. The pattern is virtually omnipresent, if not absolutely ominipresent.

Unfortunately, I know what above commentators mean, both academically and experientially. Counseling is an industry of hate and incompetence in bad faith of intended and achieved harm against target groups, primarily the male race, and for the female race.

I only mistrust such ministers of Satan with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength. And, as per the armed forces, I can tell you that I open nothingn to such counselors for the same reason. (Such counselors are in Veterans’ Affairs, also.) That a serviceman is subject to the Code of Service Discipline while speaking with such agents of the Feminist state militarily restricts what a man can do, say or ramble about. He cannot tell truth. He cannot voice his real concerns. It’s policy. The Affirmative Action against men (the 99.99% of the dead, injured and traumatized in Canada’s armed-forces history) is evidence of decided top-up of Violence Against Men. Included in such is the topup against men who come back from Afghanistan with PTSD and apply the the military post office in order to escape the trauma of infantry, etc. They find themselves victimized by women who trump them and thusly throw the men away whose infantry skills do not transfer to the civilian world. As such, he is thusly traumatized by the enemy within: women (and their governments all of whom hate men officially), including as per the Ministry of National Offence of Violence Against Men at the Behest of Women.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 25 Thumb down 1
Avenger May 26, 2011 at 17:12

Welmer-Well, this is exactly what I was saying in a past comment. Men should always assume that anything they say is Not confidential or protected under any laws regarding privacy. Anything can be used against you. You mentioned an attorney and a priest but there are even rare occasions where your own attorney can be compelled to testify against you and in the case of the priest the seal of confession only applies to any sin or crime you may have committed in the past. If you told a priest in confession that you intended to kill your wife then he can report it to the cops. So always be on the defensive and never tell anyone what you’re thinking or intend to do and by all means never talk to cops.
“Counseling” is just a way for a female to get you to implicate yourself about something she can use against you. Suppose you were to say for example, thinking everything was confidential, that you had fucked her sister years ago. I can assure you that the “counselor” and your wife would get that into the divorce complaint and it would be used against you. And btw, you’ll notice that females are very good at never revealing any wrongdoing and even if found out will lie about it and accuse you of being suspicious or try to twist it so that you were responsible for what she did lol

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LaughOrCry May 26, 2011 at 17:26

I stumbled across this “marriage counselling” book:
http://www.amazon.com/Its-Mostly-His-Fault-Women/dp/0446577774/ref=pd_sim_b_2

The title says it all… a quick flick through revealed the usual feminist B.S. along the lines of “women have been oppressed by men for the last ten thousand years and they’re mad and rightly so and the best you can do as a man is to say you’re sorry; you’re so, so sorry…” *vomit*

I haven’t gone through all of the reviews, while some of them are positive (gee, what a surprise, they’re from women) it’s good to see that it does get quite a few that absolutely savage it.

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Lovekraft May 26, 2011 at 17:26

What there should be before a husband agrees to counseling:

watch the TV show on Slice.tv Rich Bride/Poor Bride. In it are many great examples of narcissistic, controlling and downright psychotic control freaks.

After one of the shows, ask your wife if she found anything wrong with the woman in question’s behavior. If she denies, or makes excuses, you are certain that counseling will just be more of this – deflecting blame onto you and avoiding accountability.

This test would save time and money. Slice.ca “Rich Bride Poor Bride” for a reminder of why being single is the only way to preserve one’s sanity.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 2
Uncle Elmer May 26, 2011 at 17:39

“Just out of curiousity, have any of you ever had your feelings validated? What exactly the hell is that?”

Being told what you want to hear.

You seem to have anger management issues, John. Tell us a little more about that.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 1
DevilDog May 26, 2011 at 17:41

If you and your spouse have gotten to the point of marriage counseling, your relationship is fucked either way. Not a matter of if, just a matter of when. No amount of BS professional counseling is going to change that.

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Paradoxotaur May 26, 2011 at 17:53

John-

Your story reminded me of one a friend of mine shared.

He was in marriage counseling expressing how something his wife did had hurt him, and how he felt there were circumstances suggesting that she had done this specifically TO hurt him.

The male counselor flung the typical nonsense: “She didn’t hurt you! You’re allowing yourself to feel hurt.” (i.e., it’s all HIS fault for having feelings, and none of hers for committing the act).

He replied, “So, lemme see if I understand how this works. If I pick up this pencil (picking a sharpened pencil off the counselor’s desk, and cocking his arm back) and jab it in your eye, I’m not hurting you, you’re just allowing yourself to feel hurt?”

He later said “So many marriage counselors, so few lampposts . . . “ Which is true. In my town we have far more MFCs than we have lampposts.

But yeah, the first 4-5 sessions are typically all about the counselor and wifey kicking the stuffings out of the husband. If the counselor senses that she’s about to lose a customer because the husband has had enough of this and, in a desperate gambit, suggests that perhaps it’s time for wifey-poo to do some work, the wife often stomps out the door. Same end result, but hey, it was worth a try.

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Keyster May 26, 2011 at 18:22

When pop-psychologists talk about having to “work at a marriage”, that’s code for “the husband needs to work harder at entertaining and pleasing his wife, so she’s no longer as bored and dissatisified”.

Because when he does this she might then reward him with sex, thus making both of them happy. That’s “working at” a marriage defined.

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Rebel May 26, 2011 at 18:30

“My advice to a woman in a bad marriage is to take the money she would spend on marriage counseling and use it for a vacation without her husband.”

I agree with that, for once.

He should insist that she stays away long enough for him to sell the house, put his assets away and claim for divorce.
The guillotine trick!

Very good suggestion. Thumbs up for you.

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Herbal Essence May 26, 2011 at 19:09

Many years ago, a woman I dated wanted us to go into “relationship counseling” after a really bad couple of arguments.

My exact response was “Why? So I can be in the room with two people who say everything is my fault?”

We did not stay together much longer after that.

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AndrewV May 26, 2011 at 19:29

@gender foreigner May 26, 2011 at 17:09

Dear All:

There is so much to agree-with and express thanks for.

Being a, “man teacher” and not a, “teacher teacher” in the women’s government schools (not by choice but rather by necessity for force of the women’s state—Affirmative Action Violence Against Men), I am extremely well familiar with the Feminist problem, including Feminist (aka, ALL) Counseling.

Time for you to get out man. I have two relatives who are no longer teachers in Canada. One male and the other female. They both left.

Plan on getting out now!

If you stay you are going to go insane.

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gender foreigner May 26, 2011 at 19:49

Dear AndrewV May 26, 2011 at 19:29:

Thank you for your concern. I have to find something to get into where I won’t be victimized by women (virtually all industries in the femireich of Canada are REQUIRED BY LAW to be against men in almost EVERYTHING).

I plan on doing some looking by car in western Canada during the last week of June and first week of July. It would be nice to find something suited to my skills set (academic research/coming up with inovative ideas). But, I was victimized in that area and it would take a miracle for someone to look at me 25 years after being destroyed by women the initial big time.

Any ideas?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
Bohemian Rockstar May 26, 2011 at 20:01

I agree Classic Joe.

You’re never the same after your mother sides with your ex in a divorce, and for no other reason than her sex.

It’s a sad realization that a woman has no loyalty to her own flesh and blood.

You always have this at the back of your mind.

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Dayhiker May 26, 2011 at 20:11

I mostly agree that marriage counseling is a waste, but I have to say that it did actually help in my marriage. The one thing that made a difference is that both of us actually worked at it, which is something that surprised the counselors. It did help us communicate better, but it will be a long time before I’m willing to do that again.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 5
gender foreigner May 26, 2011 at 20:23

Dear Bohemian Rockstar May 26, 2011 at 20:01:

I know what you mean. I’ve never been married but I have similar experiences as per what you described.

As per my permanent victimization by Affirmative Action against men, I complain about the pain forced onto me so utterly criminally. My mother sides with women categorically no matter what (and so does my dad). They both attend a Feminist church (try to find one that isn’t). Theirs is called the United Church of Canada. It is quite extreme in its anti-male hate.

My mom can always find ways of claiming female victimhood and male advantage, even when I bring up the fact that it was her brothers who joined the air force about 70 years ago and not the sisters all of whom sat back in safety (one of the brothers had a bomb dropped from a plane one meter to his right side (and it didn’t go off). Nevertheless, that was quite a shock to him.

The other brother was in occupation of Europe for several years and witnessed various retaliatory murders, etc. by vengeful patriots in France and Belgium. He was a photographer whose job it was to take pictures for reconaisance. He flew OUTSIDE aircraft, hanging from harnesses in order to guarantee excellent photographs. It was quite cold and dangerous. And when on the ground, he was called up often to take pictures of various political murders, including mass murders.

My mom did have a rough life during the first 21 years of her life especially, for sure (but so did her brothers). Her complaint is that one brother took the other brother to see her father in hospital before he died (she was left out). Such is an understandable complaint. However, to make such categorically a gender issue is something else.

CATEGORICALLY, WE ALWAYS HEAR about how children, “need their mothers” and NEVER hear about how children, “need their fathers.” So, CATEGORICALLY, (and gender is a categorical issue by definition), here, the female is advantaged, and ever increasingly so.

I could go on and on, but to do such would be to beat a dead horse.

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Troll King May 26, 2011 at 20:24
gender foreigner May 26, 2011 at 20:25

P.S. to gender foreigner May 26, 2011 at 20:23
Dear Bohemian Rockstar May 26, 2011 at 20:01:

Further reflection caused me to realize in great part how it was that my mother’s father was THE FIRST TO DIE of her parents (and again, neither had a good life as measured by a whole lot). He was a throw-away of a WWI vet of the Royal Flying Corps/Royal Air Force. The mother wasn’t. Blah, blah, blah. Same old, same old.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
Troll King May 26, 2011 at 20:26

Moderator, your spam filter sucks. A few of those links are really really important. Especially the last one which shows that a new court ruling has overturned the presumption that a non bio child is a married mans responsibility to pay and care for as a child. Really, the courts just overturned the forced cuckoldry of a cheating wife. That is big. The article itself is interesting and important. Here is the link again:

http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20110524/NEWS01/305240080/Kentucky-court-says-fathers-of-children-conceived-during-affairs-have-parental-rights?odyssey=tab|mostpopular|text|FRONTPAGE

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0
W.F. Price May 26, 2011 at 20:44

Moderator, your spam filter sucks.

-Troll King

It’s automatic for a certain number of links — the content doesn’t matter.

Troll King May 26, 2011 at 21:21

WF PRICE.

I know. What is the number of links? three or four and it seems to get caught. I figured you would release it, you always do, I just tend to put the comment up when I think there is something important that may be missed by others if it waits overnight or something…..like the recent ruling on cuckoldry. Check it out. This is a first big step to changing marriage laws and the direction it goes will reveal a lot about our current court system. Already white knight manginas are claiming that it is a end to marriage, and notice how the women are victims of becoming pregnant by having an affair or something. Their culpability isn’t even mentioned. Instead much of the article revolves around who should have to pay child support….how sick.

I also think that pointing out how this has been law for 20 centuries is a big red flag for how patriarchy theory is bullshit. One of the linchpins of patriarchy theory is paternity because it is all supposed to be about men passing on their GENES and property but in reality it allows women to cuckold men while gaining the benefits of marriage. Utterly sick.

Here is a article I just saw that is relevent to shrinks.
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/05/23/10-things-you-should-know-about-male-depression/

The article and first comment make it sound like it is somehow discrimination to focus efforts on men because men have higher suicide rates. Gotta love women, a woman wrote it, and how they will always be the primary victims. Even when the last man on earth offs himself I am sure women will be complaining to each other and their female shrinks about how they are the primary victims of depression. They will probably complain about how depressing it is to bury all the male bodies and how this oppressive patriarchy should create more men to do the ugly work of body disposal in a maleless world or something. lolz.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
W.F. Price May 26, 2011 at 21:35

WF PRICE.

I know. What is the number of links? three or four and it seems to get caught.

-Troll King

It was three, but I just changed it to four for you. :)

Any more and I might have to sniff out the spam by hand.

AndrewV May 26, 2011 at 21:50

@gender foreigner May 26, 2011 at 19:49

I plan on doing some looking by car in western Canada during the last week of June and first week of July. It would be nice to find something suited to my skills set (academic research/coming up with inovative ideas). But, I was victimized in that area and it would take a miracle for someone to look at me 25 years after being destroyed by women the initial big time.

Any ideas?

You could try transferring to teach in a small community out West then. Many of the women where I am in BC wear little or no make up and do not appear to be filled with misandry.

I would pick one in Alberta (Conservative) or BC (Lala Land) where people do things like put out chairs near the bus stop and no one trashes or steals one.

If you decide on Alberta try not to go to one with an Indian Band nearby.

If BC select one like mine where the natives will not tolerate their drunks going down town (where I live the natives are fully integrated in the community, own and operate local businesses, are members of the Legion etc. etc.) and there is a lot of gene flow between the Anglos and the Natives.

We had an Elder die recently and many turned out for the send off, which included a Regimental pipe band in kilts, RCMP Officers in full dress uniform etc. etc.

For quality of life, a small town, if it is the right one, has a lot to offer. I am pretty glad I moved here from Toronto myself.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1
John Boy May 26, 2011 at 22:31

First of all, if your wife recommends marital counseling take as a blessing. At least it gives you time to organize and physiologically prepare for what is coming. One reason men do so badly in divorce court is that women are filing about 75% of the divorces. This means they are mentally prepared and are ready to attack. The men are still just trying to get their boots on. It is a huge advantage to take the first punch in a fight, especially if the other person is not looking.

My second observation is that they way marriage counseling is done, it leaves neither party better off than when they started. This is a problem for someone like me who went through a contentious divorce only to be doomed for the next 15 years to be in and out of court fighting over custody. A far better approach would be to counseling like a class that taught basic civics, morals, biology, and communication skills. That would lay out a much better foundation to build on vs. just sharing feelings. By conducting everything behind closed doors counseling takes on a surreal atmosphere where the participants are totally disconnected from reality. It does not matter what is said or done because there are no standards or touchstones to measure anything else. Like mediation, the other side can just sit there and bullshit or complain the whole time with no consequence simply wasting time and money.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 11 Thumb down 0
Troll King May 27, 2011 at 01:51

WF price.

Thanks man. I will keep it to four per post.

I just saw this post on reddit, damn. Be prepared to lose hope in humanity. This is just sad and it is all about step mothers. Notice how they all blame the father for ALLOWING it. Now, I don’t know what to think.

On one hand I would like to see men be freed from their gender or sex roles but then again notice how most of these people are around my age, a little older or a little younger, and how even if they did perform their masculine role of protecting and providing that it wouldn’t matter because our feminist society wouldn’t let them. If any of these men stood up and smacked the shit out of the women who were torturing these people as kids, then they would have their kids taken from them and end up in prison on VAWA charges. I am not the type that believes that men ever had the right to smack around a abusive woman but I can’t help but think that maybe if some of these dads, not all ofcourse but some, had smacked the step mom down and laid down the patriarchal law in his home then maybe a lot of this wouldn’t have happened. Here is the link:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/hkkgi/reddit_what_are_some_fucked_up_things_your/

Just read through it and mull it over. The entire section is about step mothers how abused them as children and most seem to blame the dad, in some cases it is justified, for not stepping in and stopping the abuse. In some of the stories it seems that the men had their hands tied and in others the men seemed like white knights and in some of the cases it seems like maybe some girls with daddy issues are exaggerating things and in others…just damn. Regardless of which it is it is still telling on so many levels. Notice how it is mainly step dads and not biodads who are doing the damage and notice how many stories also have a abusive biomom in the pic with a abusive step mom added in. Notice also that these people were kids in the 70s and 80s and 90s and I keep wondering what the story may have been if the dad was capable on a legal level of smacking some sense into the woman.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
Lavazza May 27, 2011 at 02:41

A friend told me a about a former male colleague who had marriage counseling to make the marriage last long enough (5 years) to make it impossible for the judge to adjust the division of funds (the colleague was married to an heiress). The thing is that this colleague was a complete asshole who could not avoid getting on everybody’s nerves, but this is common behaviour in seemingly well behaved women.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
Troll King May 27, 2011 at 03:01

Bohemian Rockstar May 26, 2011 at 20:01
I agree Classic Joe.

You’re never the same after your mother sides with your ex in a divorce, and for no other reason than her sex.

It’s a sad realization that a woman has no loyalty to her own flesh and blood.

You always have this at the back of your mind.

Like or Dislike: 8 0

—————————————————————————————-

Oh man, tell me about it. A few months back I was doing my once every two weeks talk on the phone with my feminist mother. We got onto a conversation about divorce and I was talking about a friend who has a ex wive who is taking his kids out of the country. Backstory, my mom is a feminist lawyer and she is somewhat equal oriented. She did a lot of divorces for women she knew and she also did a couple, like 3 or 4, for some men. I was asking about a friend of mine, and WF Price I know you are going through this and I will talk to her about it and report back (ofcourse it will all be a friend of a friend and no names mentioned sort of thing because I don’t want my identity out there and I sure as hell don’t like talking to my mom but only if you are interested and even if not I can tell you what I have already learned and I will post it anyways below) and somehow we got onto the topic of a ex gf of mine who was abusive as hell, I have mentioned some of the things she did here and other places before things like cheating on me with a friend of mine and claiming it was rape or how her mom was feminist and claimed that she would intentionally lose important documents from fathers that were doing custody type stuff when she worked at the courthouse as a clerk, and my mom went on to talk about how she really felt sorry for this girl that I dated. She used her as a example of how men can be abusive while also having a abusive father.

I was like….WTF. I have seen this so many times and in so many different ways. For example. My younger bro is dating a arab woman who is westernized. She is the worst of both worlds. She is highly traditional, or as she told him that he is not compatible with her because basically he is acting too beta but at the same time she isn’t a psycho bitch with a chip on her shoulder, and she is also very educated and very werstern in mannerism and ideology.

She broke his heart and they are in the cycle of get together, fuck, break up, fuck, get back together, and I bet within three weeks they will be broken up again and then rinse and repeat. My brother got the feminist kool aid poured down his throat much more than I did and he had the opposite reaction than me. I rebelled and became a delinquent during my teenage years. He went the opposite direction. I am struggling to finish my degree and he is younger than me and just got his masters. OK.

I was talking to my mom the other day and we got onto the subject of him and her and she went on and on and on about how it was a bad match. At first I thought she was talking about religion and so on. Then it dawned on me that she wasn’t protecting him but protecting her and I lead her on in the conversation. She out right and said that it could be a problem for her because of her 8 older brothers and she didn’t even seem to realize that her older brothers could beat the shit out of my younger brother, her youngest son, but instead she was worried about this girl that she has met once, ONCE, being targeted or disowned by her family. WTF?

I have said it before and will again. I don’t think women care or LOVE men at all. I think they talk about men seeing women as objects because they are projecting. I think women see men as objects. I know that women will kill baby girls in many cultures because they want a son. It isn’t because they love baby boys but instead because baby boys are supposed to become wealthy and then are culturally expected to take care of their mothers.

Mothers in those societies want baby boys because baby boys are retirement tickets or objects. Just the same way that women who marry are looking for retirement objects or human slaves or husbandbots.

It is a sad thought to be sure but all you have to do is literally observe and critically think about what women talk about or write. They see us as sperm donors or walking wallets or dildos or status objects or relationship objects or shrinks/emotional tampons/emotional support unitys or cannon fodder or human shields or etc. They don’t see us as human in the same way that we see them. They tell us to man up and do what they say.

Anyways, I plan on using my brothers latest relationship, he hasn’t had many, to prove to him that he shouldn’t expect as much as he is currently expecting from women. When that bitch dumped him he got drunk, and he doesn’t drink to any real degree, and cried about having a broken heart and puked all over the place. I took care of him and patted his back while he puked in the bathroom. The evil and fucked up and manipulative shit women do to us men….damn. If it was a man doing this, well…they would already be dead in most cases but because it is a woman….

OK. WF. First and foremost. What happened to the buttons on the top next to the preview button. They disappeared and I miss the easy block quoting and linking ability. Maybe it is just my computer???

Second. Re: your situation. You need to do several things. First and foremost understand that the boyfriend may be lying to you. You have no real way of knowing where they will or might move. NONE. You have what they have told you and that is it. It could all be a misdirection. Third, if you haven’t already then file a injunction and make it known to the court that you have suspicion that she may be trying to take your kids out of state and out of country. Get a good lawyer and vet them for the specific task at hand. Many lawyers are scum and they even joke about how scummy they are. Finding one or two or even three that are capable and worthy will cost but it will also go a long way.

Do not make any angry comments to her or the boyfriend and don’t talk about the subject with your kids. Understand that every move you make needs to be strategic and it needs to be fool proof in court. Any thing you say or do can and will be held against you and even more importantly any thing you are even accused of or anything that is understandable or likely if I were a judge and I empathize and put myself in your shoes and come the the same conclusions that the ex and boyfriend and family are accusing you of….well, if it seems likely in my, the hypothetical judges minds, that you did that then they will see it as truth. To fight this you need to figure out where they are actually, not where they insinuate or claim, they are moving to and you need to be emaculate.

There is a reason that lawyers tell you to wear your nicest suit and to take out earings and to shave and to cover up tatoos and so on when you go to court. Judges are people too and they carry so many biases, probably more than the average person because they see the scum of society all the time, that they use those biases in their decision making…

Let’s see. Ummm. I forgot some of the things my mom said with respect to my friends case. It won’t be easy but you need to find out where they are moving to and you need to find out the US and country x laws and you need to realize that if she was abusive and fucked you over in the first place then that means she was prepared and that also means that she is prepared this time too. It does mean that she will use misdirection and false information and you could end up spending a month or so learning all about situation y while at the same time she has plans for situation x.

Again, I don’t like talking to my mom and I try not to but if you want I will probe her for info and all I need is a few facts or info. What happened initially? Any important details, like ROs or custody arrangements and how they came about. Priors and arrests. Yknow, the things that the typical lawyer is going to ask about in the first meeting and my mom is smart. She is scary fuckin smart. Scary smart. She is a feminist lawyer and she doesn’t even specialize in this but from what I have been told by her she helped dozens and dozens of women get full custody and the works and she claims she is equal and feminist because she also helped three guys she knew who were being abused.

She is the type of feminsit that will admit that sometimes, rarely but it does happen, sometimes, a woman is bad and evil and will abuse a man. There have been a dozen times she blew up in my face in full bitch mode because I simply asked questions or pointed out some stats I read from the CDC that said women commit equal or majority DV and she went ape shit.

At the same time she got out of NOW and other feminist groups because she told me that she had one woman she worked with that broke up about 12 marriages by simply telling lies and apparently almost broke up hers and at the same time this woman was a lier and a cheat and basically the worst of the worst and would hit on every married man. This was a woman who is now at the top tier level of NOW. My mom is somewhat of a radical feminsit but not what I would even consider a radical.

As a boy I remember hearing my mom talk about how women need a man like a fish needs a bycicle. I remember her breaking some neon green water pistols that my dad bought for me and she gave me a lecture on patriarchy theory when I wasn’t even 5 yrs old yet. My dad stormed off and me and my brother cried and 20 minutes later we picked up sticks and ran around playing cops and robbers with sticks instead of neon green water pistols that our dad had bought for us from Toys R Us. We wanted to play with our dad. He was finishing up medical school, and he is a feminist too, and had the weekend off to play with us.

I remember being dragged to her meetings at the local chapter of NOW and she openly. even to this day, admits that she and her friends used to ask about their husbands by grinning and saying, “so how is the oppressor treating you lately?” It was like some sort of inside joke to them.

This is the same woman that joked several years ago to me about how she didn’t help me as a boy. I was talking to her, before I ever found the MRM, about masculine roles. She told me a story about when I was around 5 yrs old and me and my brother were playing with the daughter of one of ther friends. This feminist friend of hers later became one of the presidents of NOW. We were all kids of about the same age and we were doing kid type stuff. We were running around and chasing each other and rough housing a bit. Apparently this girl fell down and skinned her knee and while my mom was in the middle of a conversation with this woman she just stopped talking and went and cuddled her girl.

My mom talked about how she thought this was so weird because she had boys and she would never think about doing that. That is what she said. She scuffed and threw her shoulders back and said, “yknow troll king, you were a boy and why would I even think about doing that…huff huff…so weird how we coddle girls in this patriarchy…that is what feminists of my generation termed benevolent sexism.”

I literally looked at her, at the age of about 24/25 or several years ago(just turned 28), and I felt my heart break. I literally felt my heart skip a beat. WTF. What type of parent??? I can’t imagine.

My moms father was drafted into WW2 and then into Korea and he was a life long military man and retired as a colonel. He taught her how to build stuff and he taught her math and sports and all sorts of male oriented things.

My mom smacked me because one day i couldn’t do a math problem that I hadn’t been taught how to solve and that was when I started hating math around the age of 8. Today I love it because it is interesting but I still don’t focus on solving shit. I focus on understanding how it works.

I remember wanting to play football. Not even tackle football but touch football in the elementary school leagues and then later in middle school leagues. I got a lecture about how if I did that then I would turn into a patriarchal oppressor and “son, do you want to harm women like that?” I really wasn’t allowed to even play or participate in sports or any other masculine activity because it would turn me into a patriarchal oppressor. Today my body is somewhat under developed. I could have been stronger, I could not have some of the physical problems I currently do if I had simply been allowed to complete.

Now, WF Price. If you are going to win this battle then you need to understand that you can’t just compete but instead you need to dominate and to do so in a strategic way. I am not a lawyer. I am seriously thinking about going to law school, I need to get my grades up this next semester or two or maybe even three if I do a double major in ANTHRO and even still I am not sure if I want to. I do know that instead of going the direction of my brother, I went the opposite direction. When a boy is told not to do something, he either listens or does it. I did it. I became a delinquent.

That said. I do not like talking to my mom. I REALLY DO NOT LIKE IT! I try to keep the conversations as short and infrequent as possible. But, she is a smart woman and I will pick her brain if you want me to. Again I am not a Lawyer. She is a lawyer and she does have a degree in physics and she knows about the feminist system and luckily she has mellowed to some degree over the years. I honestly think a lot of it has to do with the fact that she realized I was going to leave and never speak to her and never come back at 18. At 16 I told her to her face that I didn’t love her, how could I? She was barely around and when she was….well.

Anyways. I will do this for you WF. I don’t know if it will help or not. I do know that I don’t want details and I will not leak anything. I will simply ask open ended and vague questions and I will say, “well mom, I don’t know much about the situation….this is a friend from HS and I didn’t even like the guys that much…yknow, but he got intouch with me on facebook and needed someone to vent to and he said this and that and…well…what do you think…I know you don’t want to give legal advice because it could blow up and debree could fall back onto you but let me help the dude…what do you think about this and should I advise him of that….obviously mom, I told him to get a good lawyer but c’mon now…what would you do…yknow, I was thinking about going to law school….if you were a professor, and I studied this in my legal ethics course….what would you adivse….what are the various aspects of this type of case…yadda yadda.”

Just throwing it out there man. Again, I am not a lawyer and I am not giving legal advice. I am simply trying to help a bro by doing a bit of research and I figure that every little bit of knowledge might help. As it is all I know is that you live in Washington state and I doubt I could tell you anything that you can’t find out with google. Just saying, I will find out as much as possible and she is ruthless and intelligent and even if the info doesn’t help then the worst it does is give you more ideas and options maybe…Just let me know. I don’t check my email much but respond on this thread or the next and we will talk.

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O Tony May 27, 2011 at 04:57

Is it any wonder why this takes place. It seems to be a meme that marriage counseling is sort of a default “go to” position. Im not that old but when I was younger, marriage counseling as a concept didnt seem as prevalent as it its today. I mean, how else is the feminist machine to employe its hoards of useless psych major grads? Think about it.

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oddsock May 27, 2011 at 06:21

Troll King

Another outstanding post full of truth. You are actually detailing in a stort what we can see in real time on websites such as the spearhead.

The division and change however slight can be seen throughout the posts. Quite simply it is men in the process of swallowing the most bitter part of the Red Pill.

Some kick and scream other give clever counter arguments many are still in total denial. You see despite the overwhelming evidence, eventually, one way or another, men on here will gradually and no doubt angrily have to accept that AWALT. It’s like watching a sick small child being forced to take a large spoonful of Cod Liver Oil.

There are so many excellent points you raised in your post it is hard to pick one out to use as a tool of awakening. However, this one speaks volumes.

“Mothers in those societies want baby boys because baby boys are retirement tickets or objects. Just the same way that women who marry are looking for retirement objects or human slaves or husbandbots.”

The only thing I would change is that it is Mothers and women in “all societies” that view men as such.

A brief story from my own experience to re affirm your post. For some years my Brother was being constantly being dragged back to court for new child support assessments and/or adjustments to the original assessment reagrding the very small and few remaining assets from the time he had been married. He was just a normal working class guy, by no means wealthy, his ex cleaned him out of house home car endowment insurance policies and a future share of any retirement funds. He was basically left flat on his arse and denied contact with his kids into the bargain.

We would often joke with him that his ex was so much of a cow she probably had a private detective following him around the country. You see, once he started to get himself together he moved to different parts of the UK for better paying jobs. Now. He started to become quite suspicious about who he spoke with. He still had very little money, he was just getting by, but everytime he got a better paying job, ” Wham” another demand for him to return to court would hit him. He had a passion for classic motorbikes and had been restoring one for years. He started this project from when he first married. The day finally arrived when it was back to original condition and roadworthy. Now worth about £3000 max. within a few weeks he got another letter from his ex’s solicitor demanding half its estimated value of approx 3K. He was stunned, totally shocked, even freaked out about how they knew. As I mentioned earlier, he lived in another part of the UK. The only place he had been for a ride on his pride and joy restored motorbike was,,,,,,, Our Sisters. The penny finally dropped,,, I can tel you all hell broke loose. Our own sister had been passing on almost every detail to his ex wife. We all knew that she would still call round to his ex wifes to drop of christmas and birthday gifts. I even remember her telling us that it was a good way for her to ” keep tabbs” on what his ex was doing or maybe planning. As the dust settled, it came out that she was on the phone to her quite often, and telling her where he was working how much he earned where he was now living, even the name of any new girlfriend he had.

I have no idea what excuse or reasons she gave my brother? But I can tell you nobody was the same within the family after such a shock. My brother hardly spoke another word with our sister.

Over the years have seen this type of thing quite often. Most men try and dismiss it as ” just women ” But yes. Even females within our own families will stab you in the back.

Slightly off topic. After reading this and Troll Kings post. Perhaps you will understand a little better why having any females on this site is a big NO NO. As for the men that think different even support them ? Well, make your own mind up, IMHO I would not trust any male who tried to defend a woman on here or any other male friendly web site.

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Bohemian Rockstar May 27, 2011 at 06:38

True Troll King.

I took my girlfriend to meet my mother and she spent the whole night putting me down in order to get in good with my lover.

The thing is, this is the major revelation. When you see it, you become enlightened and see women as they really are. You never really trust them the same way again.

But see what happens in society if a son betrays his mother. God forbid. What’s the dating advice for women say? “check out if he is good to his mother” etc etc.

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scot May 27, 2011 at 06:51

There are fundamental issues with “who own what terms”, semantics games, kinda like “the slut walkers” trying to Re-claim the term “slut”, so they can own the term, and define the term from their framework.
Neo American gender feminism now owns the terms patriarchy and matriarchy, and i believe they have “perverted” the meanings of those terms to their advantage.
The fundamental perversion of saying violence is “patriarchal”, (when in fact any law enforcement officer who is being honest) will tell you, “Not Really, the majority of societal violence is coming from the more “matri-lineal” segments of society” is this construction is a “Framework perversion”.
U see by gender-feminists “Owning of the terms”, patriachy, and matriarchy, and by going on to tell us, up is down, left is right, patriarchy is matriarchy, ect, ect,, they then control the “construction” from this “framework”.
Time to take back the terms matriarchy and patriarchy from gender-feminists who have perverted the terms.

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AfOR May 27, 2011 at 07:34

@trollking and oddsock

re the “enemy behind the lines” wimminz within our own extended families stabbing us in the back.

I too, could tell such stories.

This is the problem with attitudes such as MGTOW, and NAWALT, you cannot excluding ANYTHING born with a cunt, not even your cousin’s wife, even if you only have once yearly contact with your cousin at christmas, or your workmates girlfriend, and ESPECIALLY skanks like Izzey and the mangina niggers who not merely tolerate them, but defend them.

This all applies WITH FUCKING BELLS ON in any legal dealings, even though it may be impossible to avoid being assigned a skank court appointed guardian for your kids or some such…

Any man who trusts any wimminz is a danger to all men…

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Monte May 27, 2011 at 07:44
AntZ May 27, 2011 at 07:54

“If your wife or girlfriend ever suggests that you need counseling, the best practice is to listen patiently, say nothing, and make plans to eject her from your life. You can talk to your priest, your lawyer and your dog, but never assume it’s safe or useful to say anything to anyone else. ”

I must respectfully disagree. Use the opportunity to delay and prepare.

1) Every month of delay keeps you in your children’s lives for 30 more days (and saves you ~$3000 in child support). By pretending to embrace counselling in earnest, you can easily buy yourself months or even years.

2) Every month of delay allows you to talk to more attorneys. Every attorney that you talk to is permanently unavailable to your soon to be ex. Hit the phone book and talk to every expensive attorney. Lave a few bargain priced drunken fools. This will save you money since you will pay her attorney fees.

3) Every month of delay allows you to gather evidence. Use the time to assemble e-mails from her proving that you are neither abusive nor violent towards her or the children. Women routinely file false claims of child and domestic abuse to gain advantage in court, so you must prepare to defend yourself. Evidence of infidelity on her part can help also.

Time is on your side. Pretend to fight like mad to save your marriage, and make use of that time to prepare for the inevitable.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 1
Jay May 27, 2011 at 08:08

It has been less than a week since my wife suggested we go for counseling. This article hits home in so many ways, however I think a different outcome is desired in my case. I believe it is my wife’s goal to shake off the tiny shred of personal accountability she has left and not have a guilty conscience about doing it. Counseling would do this for her. I think if there was even more on my shoulders financially, emotionally and sexually then she would be much easier to deal with. Her guise with the counselor will be to help me become more “assertive” or some malarkey like that. By that she means she wants less responsibility. The goal for her is not to end the marriage but to make life even easier for herself, which is why I believe she got married in the first place. I agreed to try counseling once or twice but I already told her that if the counselor is a lefty-liberal-feminist type (which they all are) then I will not return. We’ll see how this plays out…

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Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) May 27, 2011 at 08:13

OT.
Gents. Here is a good explanation as to how you are enslaved. Always worth a read to realise how you are enslaved in the US. You have been under a military dictatorship since 1861.

http://www.barefootsworld.net/war_ep.html

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Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) May 27, 2011 at 08:14

OT..this page is REALLY worth a read too.

http://www.barefootsworld.net/parensp.html

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ConantheContrarian May 27, 2011 at 08:20

@ Classic Joe
“I was pretty young when I started to realize that my mother was rooting against me in most situations. There was always an underlying hostility that she tried to hide but it would come out here and there. I still don’t understand it but I’ve seen it in other women. ”

Joe, if I weren’t an only child, I would have thought that you were my brother. My mother has frequently taken the other side against me. I am so sick of it that even as a mature adult, I get pissed. My wife can’t understand why my mother does this to me, especially since I am an only child.

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Rumour May 27, 2011 at 08:27

Marriage counseling is justification/rationalization in a woman’s mind that “I did everything I could, but he …” Couples counseling is no place for a man. In fact, couples counseling is really just a trap.

What is needed are male counselors who understand the current state of affairs and can honestly counsel men on how to be men, how to handle women, actively dealing with the anger that culture inspires. Men who will tell other men the truth.

There just isn’t that kind out there.

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oddsock May 27, 2011 at 08:42

OooH OooH. Stop the press

T Rex on the radio. Plenty of volume !

Get it on bang a gong – get it on

ooooooh take me !

I really need to get me one of those inflatable Geetars. I suppose Angry Izzy will have to do for now. Where’s me electric blue flares?

Ok, as you were !

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Peter-Andrew: Nolan(c) May 27, 2011 at 09:01

OT
Shaefer Cox video on common law in the US. It is quite long but it is a must watch for those who wish to know how to use common law. I just put all the links into one place so that it is easier for you to go through the video.

http://www.peternolan.com/Forums/tabid/420/mid/1087/threadid/654/scope/posts/Default.aspx#654

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oddsock May 27, 2011 at 09:14

Jay.

Only a suggestion.

As has been highlighted already on this thread. You will more than likely find a counsellor that will only try and explain to you both solutions to whatever it is you present her/him with. Plus, it is also like trying to get someone to explain to you the game of chess when they only know the rules of checkers. What I mean by that is; if your only gripe is about who fulfills what role etc within a marriage then you will basically end up with a variation of what you have already. A really good counellor should never be biased the main aim and as simple as this may sound, should be true. Stop the conflict and get people to talk with each other as adults and not through or at the counsellor hoping to gain an allie or indirectly vent anger. A good counsellor will not be manipulated. Look up the difference between empathy and sympathy. Good counselling is about true empathy. One foot in one foot out of the situation. They should never give advice if they can help it. This is obviously different if you are dealing with a specific perhaps difficult problem. The issue is then usually passed onto a therapist which is basically just a specialized counsellor trained in that area. This is why there are so many horror stories and confusion around counselling. Simply put, we would not go to an electrician and ask him to fix a blocked drain. A counsellor is usually just sort of a general practioner that will pass the clients onto other more specialized people if needed.

With respect, I suggest you see a counsellor alone. ( a feckin good male one that is switched on ) Do not tell your wife. However, you must beware. This may result in you seeing marriage and relationships in a totally different light ? To the point that you may decide you want out yourself ? A good counsellor, I mean one that has your best interest at heart will or should guide you to your own answers and conclusions while also allowing you to feel uncomfortable about previously held views etc. No I do not mean one that will just try to reinforce the feminist/female meme. I mean about what is important to YOU and how realistic it is to achieve or even work towards. Either way, you will probably feel angry.

You are getting almost the same process from reading sites like the spearhead, unfortunately, it can also be quite confusing because there are so many differing views/anger/experience/tactics/humour.

Here’s one that I really struggled with; Nobody makes you angry but yourself! Chew that one over for a while.

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Firepower May 27, 2011 at 10:59

Lovekraft

watch the TV show on Slice.tv Rich Bride/Poor Bride. In it are many great examples of narcissistic, controlling and downright psychotic control freaks.

Who would’ve guessed, that on national TV, a show with a name like that would be irritating.

After one of the shows, ask your wife if she found anything wrong with the woman in question’s behavior.

That’s very clever. But, what about the guys who are lucky enough to have never married.

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Jay May 27, 2011 at 12:08

Oddsock,

I appreciate you taking the time to give me advice on the situation, sir. The truth is I already have a very different view of marriage than I did on my wedding day. Surprisingly, my wife only brought up the counseling thing once and hasn’t pressed it since. She hasn’t pushed that on me nearly as much as she has pushed Dave Ramsey on me so either her issues aren’t that pertinent or she feels like she is fighting a losing battle knowing my opinion of the psychiatric industry. I do have a shrink of my own that I see when absolutely necessary as deemed by law. Long story.

And I do agree that my anger is the result of whatever I hang on to from any maddening situation. But at the same time anger can be a motivator (at least in my case) to get something accomplished. I am currently at the point where I do want an outcome; I am just not sure which direction I need to go in. I do love and care for my wife and I want to see her grow and be content with herself, but I also don’t want to be her father in the process. Lots of stuff to consider. Ugh.

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Lovekraft May 27, 2011 at 14:14

Firepower: “That’s very clever. But, what about the guys who are lucky enough to have never married.”

Not exactly sure what you’re asking. But will say that another Slice.tv show “Princess” would assist the men who are in the dating market. The examples of narcissists on that show are excellent educational tools to the witless, horny male. He can see the various manipulations young women make.

One line from one of these ‘princesses’ really stood out. She said “first I marry for money, then I will marry for love.”

Hang onto your wallets!

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BeijaFlor May 27, 2011 at 14:30

@ Firepower May 27, 2011 at 10:59

Lovekraft

watch the TV show on Slice.tv Rich Bride/Poor Bride. In it are many great examples of narcissistic, controlling and downright psychotic control freaks. After one of the shows, ask your wife if she found anything wrong with the woman in question’s behavior.

That’s very clever. But, what about the guys who are lucky enough to have never married.

That’s the lovely thing for us. We don’t have to watch that codswallop.

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wobbegong May 27, 2011 at 16:16

Wow!

The two counsellors that my ex chose to tell me that I was wrong actually turned to her and said that she was pretty much at fault.

Both were female!

There’s hope for Australia yet!

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Igor Alexander May 27, 2011 at 23:07

“Suppose you were to say for example, thinking everything was confidential, that you had fucked her sister years ago. I can assure you that the ‘counselor’ and your wife would get that into the divorce complaint and it would be used against you.”

I can’t say I would blame her for wanting to get a divorce if you were screwing around with her sister.

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mgtow May 28, 2011 at 03:10

When your wife initiates marital counselling, it’s over.

I don’t care if it is secular counselling or religious counselling.

It is over. Period.

Forget about giving it a second chance, or doing what you can to salvage the marriage. Don’t waste your time, money and energy.

Get a good, prolific, non-misandrist divorce lawyer, and dump your wife. Immediately. With no hesitation, no regret and no fear (“but what about the kids?”). Walk away, and don’t look back.

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Legion May 28, 2011 at 08:19

Troll King May 27, 2011 at 01:51
“…smacking some sense into the woman.”

Obviously this would result in killing them because women can’t make sense of things. Oh, I agree.

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CC May 28, 2011 at 08:23

@ Ruddyturnstone:

>As for female counselors, my guess is that more of them are actually fair than their male counterparts. Women know all the tricks that other women play.

I saw a female therapist, let’s call her LB, regularly for about a year. Not for couples therapy, but to deal with some serious childhood damage. I was wary of therapists generally due to a few counter-productive encounters. But by the second session I knew I could work with LB. Why? As I was talking about my mom being neglectful and manipulative, LB used the term “matriarchal manipulation” to describe my mother. I was floored, stunned, flabbergasted that a female therapist would (a) use that phrase and (b) admit that such a thing as matriarchal manipulation existed and was destructive.

In a subsequent session, I was talking about how frustrating dating had been for me because so many women were bitchy, abusive and cruel. A decade of being treated like crap by women you care about does damage to the psyche. LB said that it was frustrating to her that “a large minority” of women she knew, both clients and friends/relatives/accquaintances treated their husbands so poorly. LB was devoutly religious, and thought it was horribly unfair that so many wives of religious men think they’ve got him by the short hairs. These wives know he’s religious, holds a leadership position in the church, and would thus never stray or file for divorce if she treats him like crap.

>@LaughOrCry

>I haven’t gone through all of the reviews, while some of them are positive (gee, what a surprise, they’re from women) it’s good to see that it does get quite a few that absolutely savage it.

One of the negative reviews was courtesy of yours truly. I saw the book at a library and was alternately offended and amused by the contents. In my review, I noted that the author gave ZERO space to personality disorders, which are the single most reliable predictor of physical and emotional abuse, whether in marriage/dating or towards children.

According to this pathetic book, if a wife has Borderline Personality Disorder (diagnosed in women 3-4 times as often as in men) and has volcanic outbursts of rage and violence, well, shucks, it’s probably his fault and he ought to say he’s sorry, so so sorry…

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phil white May 28, 2011 at 18:28

“….even your mother is suspect in this regard — she may well deep-six you in court out of loyalty to her sex or in the hope that it will give her access to the grandchildren..”

Any guy who’s own mother would abandon him must be a real s.o.-. Uh, maybe I’m thinking in circles here.???

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LaughOrCry May 29, 2011 at 23:55

CC – “One of the negative reviews was courtesy of yours truly.”

Well done that man!

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Common Monster May 30, 2011 at 10:28

“Most of the counselors themselves are women, (NovaSeeker)”

Not “most”, nearly all.

According to that NYT article about a week ago on the feminization of psychology/therapy, only 20 percent of graduates seeking doctorates in clinical psychology are men, and at lower levels like social work and counseling it’s closer to just 10 percent. IOW, the field is now like public education. Just more of the socially controlled lab experiment where the only “perfect color” is lavender.

The invention of the field of psychology (by men) coincides with the rise of feminism and the liberation of women, so it stands to figure they’d defuse the attempt by men at learning how to defend themselves from the emotional abuse and constant psych-warfare of woman by colonizing the whole field and taking it over, as they’ve done with all the social studies fields.

If you need a good counselor for some simple low-cost, no-nonsense advice or perspective, seek out a trusted (male) bartender.

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Advoc8 May 30, 2011 at 11:46

Marriage counselling is usually futile for a man. At best, for him, it is usually one step forward and two steps back. Even the top 1/3 of counselors, considered to be the best or “good” counselors, are mostly gynocentric and use double standards though seeming to try to act fair.

Many men know before going, that the counselor (male esp) will take the side of the woman even if she is the sole abuser. Most are indoctrinated feminists or chivalrists (what a choice!). Counsellors are trained (though few reject this training) that men are the problem, men are the perpetrators and that if a man tells them he was and is being abused that this is proof enough that HE is the sole abuser.

The counselor will ask him (but not her), “What did you do to her to provoke her to attack you?” or “Take it like a man, I’m sure she didn’t really hurt you.” or “What could you do to take away her anger at you?” You don’t hear these questions asked of the women, whether they be abused or abusers.

If you really do have an abusive female partner then she is likely cry to the counselor that you are mean and inconsiderate of everything she demands, or she will outright collude with the counselor by making false allegations against you (which the counselor is then required to turn into a protective order…).

Guys, good luck with that counseling! But you never know, you might get lucky and find that one in one hundred counsellors who won’t take her BS and won’t deal out any double standards, and then she’ll cry and switch counselors, a femichivlarist this time for sure, and accuse you of abusing her with a counselor. Been there, done that, looking for the T-shirt.

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Firepower June 1, 2011 at 08:00

BeijaFlor May 27, 2011 at 14:30

@ Firepower May 27, 2011 at 10:59

Lovekraft

watch the TV show on Slice.tv Rich Bride/Poor Bride. In it are many great examples of narcissistic, controlling and downright psychotic control freaks. After one of the shows, ask your wife if she found anything wrong with the woman in question’s behavior.

That’s very clever. But, what about the guys who are lucky enough to have never married.

That’s the lovely thing for us. We don’t have to watch that codswallop

Yes.

There comes a time when one NO longer needs to learn more about his enemy – just go out and FIGHT him.

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ahamkara June 1, 2011 at 08:09

Excellent article. Every word of it is true, as far as I can tell.

I did marriage counseling for a long, long time. Out of all the outrageous things that were said not only by my ex-wife but by the counselors themselves (all women), one of them will always stick with me. One of the counselors told me that if I wanted to continue in this relationship, I would have to go through a grieving process to mourn the things that I couldn’t have in my life (i.e. sex, happiness, free will, success).

At that point, I knew it was over, because I was going to have to stage my own funeral to follow that advice.

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David K. Meller June 5, 2011 at 11:41

Marriage “counseling” is useless for a simple reason. No advice, counseling, or mediation can ever be any better than the people who are to follow it!

A husband has no reason to follow advice to save a marriage(?) tp a woman who hates him; who is dedicated not to loving, honoring, and obeying him, as per her wedding VOWS, but instead dedicated to his humiliation, his bankruptcy, and his destruction, even if she and their children will be badly hurt in the process!

Is a modern woman–spiteful, over-educated, vengeful. with a poisonous and almost megalomaniac sense of entitlement and female privilege–even capable of following advice to “love, honor, and obey” her lord and protector? To ask this question is to answer it, and to ask such questions in the light of contemporary domestic relations and marriage laws (and the “courts” set up to enforce them) is to answer them in an even more critical and pessimistic light.

Marriage counseling is about as useful in a culture polluted with gender egalitarianism–ours–as five wheels would be on an automobile! With this culture also polluted by grandiose female-entitlement and venomous man hating feminism in addition, such counseling–especially if given by “males”–is as useful as five SQUARE tires on an automobile! Let’s all start to build something better, shall we?

PEACE AND FREEDOM!!
David K. Meller

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M August 15, 2011 at 14:10

I honestly DO want my fiance and I to form a better partnership, so I suggested counseling. What’s wrong with that? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him as a person, and there’s no blame; that’s a terrible thing to say. I’m not a money-grubbing b*tch, I just love my fiance and the advice of friends only goes so far. :(

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curiepoint September 28, 2011 at 20:35

What is wrong is that all counsellors work from the same playbook, at least here in the USA. The charlatan shall listen intently for a couple of sessions, but by the fourth one it will all be placed on him as being some horrible, degenerate, and heartless brute.

Any man who agrees to counselling of this nature simply lacks the nads to say “You are way over the line”. If he lacks that fortitude, and if you both see the end of the counselling, he will be an emasculated little wimp that you will cheat on with the first bad boy that creams her jeans. It doesn’t matter what you say you want…you haven’t any clue as to what you truly do want, and thus you will change your mind after much “soul-searching”.

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Continental January 1, 2012 at 06:19

Why you guys hate women so much? Some of the comments are very hurtful and sexists. Not all women are bitches, and not all men are awful like most of you men who are writing all those horrible things. What is this? A war against gender? Should you not honour and love your wives/girlfriends too, or are those vows only made for women. Well, I am married, unhappy and I suggested counselling. Does that make me a bad person? I really want my relationship to work and I an certainly not sleeping around in the meantime as some of you suggest women do. I am only sure if this does not work, I do not want any other man in my life after reading all this disgusting filth

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Continental January 1, 2012 at 06:49

OK, I get it now. This is all a joke

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rbaker January 24, 2012 at 13:29

you clearly have issues with women…how about a woman that requests counseling because her husband cheated on her for 7 years with a woman that was cheating on her husband with him and 4 other men ?
and left me to take care of our kids without any help from him because he was too busy chasing after her to worry about his kids or wife and then when they get caught he blames Me because I didn’t mind my own business ???

And you think HE should grab his money and run ??

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gutsy November 6, 2012 at 20:11

I agree with the title of the blog but not its content.

I am a women in a relationship with a man for over 5 years, and this year we started to see couple counsellor upon my initiation. Yes I have seen my attoney but could not give up hope for my relationship. My couple counselling exprience has been a slow one which some good tips like see the good in each other, yet the real problem in our relationship is not that we do not see the good in each other. Things are temporily good when we see the good in each other, then my partner would do something hurtful to me to rock the boat again. This seem to be the pattern of our relationship, that whenever the relationship is getting good he will do something hurtful to rock the boat, initally I would be so hurt that I just wanted to break up but decided not to. This happens about monthly in previous years, and but got worse to about weekly this year. Upon my observation, my partner has strong tendency to be self-defeating. We bought book and started on Imago Therapy, and made some good progress at the beginning, and then my partner could not take it, and is now wanting to leave me. I do not want to break up with him. I want to work things out and be happy together. Imagine what would happen if we broken up, I will sure die from heart-brokeness, he will carry on with his issues to break more hearts down the road. I am done with couple counselling, and now I choose to pray.

Please do not think women wants couple conselling because they want to leave their husband. I have friends went on couple conselling and now they are engaged. Good for them, though I am not sure couple conselling could do the same for me.

Best Wishes to Everyone :-)

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Anonymous April 16, 2013 at 13:15

I’ve been married now for a year, together for two. My husband and I now have a child of our own, and 3 children from previous relationships. We are in blended family hell right now. Real life is steam rolling us. We have a total inability to communicate constructively verbally…and so, we struggle to share or relate to each other on countless vital points that affect our family. We feel alienated from each other and consistently desperate with frustration.
We have our first session with a counselor tonight. I am pursuing counseling for us in an effort to make our relationship better and stronger so that it lasts. There hasn’t been any infidelity, abandonment or anything like it.
What is wrong with two people looking for guidance in navigating the hazards we face every day…???

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Jean April 23, 2013 at 17:57

Lately, I have found female marriage counselors, who scolded, blamed, and demeaned women. then they would write these long list of things a wife can do to kiss, exalt, worship, her already, cold, selfish, egotistical husband. What next, the husband will have the wife, sitting in the corner with her head nodding to him, and chanting, “Yes sir, I obey you sir, your every wish is my command.”

And guess what, these so called Christian women counselors, will delete any woman who disagrees with them. Try it you will see. It’s a sad day when women take men’s side and demean their own gender. You will never see or hear men doing such hateful things to their own gender. Women cn be so STUPID. God doesn’t like for us to scold each other and demean each other. These women counselors judge women and blame women for EVERYTHING. If a man cheats, they say, don’t confront him, pray for him and let him continue. They say it is your fault anyway. If your husband brings a disease home, they say don’t confront him. He is to be worshipped and exalted. A husband can do no wrong. You will hurt his feelings if you say anything. You will belittle him if you say anything. I wonder how many points they have now with the men of the world.

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Eima August 2, 2013 at 04:45

For those of you bashing on marriage counseling, trying to convince the world that when it’s suggested by the wife, she already has one foot out the door: get your heads out of your asses.

I’m a woman who just suggested to my husband the other day to seek out marriage counseling. And I can assure you that it is 100% to keep my marriage going. I love my husband more than anything. We had a fantastic relationship in the beginning. I’ve noticed that it’s not quite the same anymore. He’s not as affectionate, doesn’t talk to me much anymore. He’s always on his phone throughout the evening or spends the majority of his time with his fingers glued to the remote.

Just recently he started searching the local sex ads and began emailing women. I crossed a line by snooping through his phone because I could see that something wasn’t right. He was acting very strange (distant, nervous, fidgety.. Kept going up to the bedroom to check his phone, most likely for an email from some whore). So I went through his pone and found an email.

My heart sinks at the thought of our marriage failing. My husband and I have only been married for a little over 4 months. Go ahead, I’m expecting all the marriage veterans out there to start chuckling.

A new marriage or not, the last thing I want is for us to fall apart. My husband is my world in every way. My suggestion of marriage counseling was for a multitude of reasons. Including getting advice & coaching on what I could do to improve or change things that may be aiding in his behavior. I also have high hopes that we can overcome obstacles from our past so that he & I can be better and stronger than ever.

I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep us glued tight. I know in my heart that we are a good thing but it scares me that it has lead to this so suddenly.

I know I’m not perfect. I’m sure there are things I do that irk him (he says I never do anything wrong though.. I smell bullshit). I also know that my husband needs a lot of work/help on how to handle arguments. The cursing, flipping out and taking off has made me doubt our ability, or rather his, to keep this going. His addiction to his phone, Craigslist and tv make me feel like I’m just roommates with him sometimes.

But I’m not at the point where I want to let to & throw it away. We don’t have much time under our belts and I want to do everything I can to keep adding years of happiness to our lives.

So for those of you saying that marriage counseling means she’s sucking someone else’s cock, has one foot out the door or is only looking to seek documentation of her efforts and his lack thereof, that’s not always the case. I’m sorry all of your one siders has horrible experiences with cheating or deceitful wives, but I must be one of the few that really wants counseling to make my marriage stronger and healthier.

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James December 6, 2013 at 23:13

I’ve been a therapist for almost 20 years. As a male therapist, I have ask any of you if you have a clue what we do as therapists & counselors. From what’s posted here, I can easily say very few of you have ever worked with a skilled therapist – very sad. The couples who come to work on and build their marriages together largely do so because they both want to improve their marriage and their lives. You are a very small biased population and it’s sad that your views are mostly so narrow. From where do you obtain your data? With the tone and attitudes reflected in these posts, it’s easy to understand why you’ve failed at developing deep, honest, meaningful and lasting relationships.

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