The Cheating Double Standard

by Featured Guest on March 17, 2011

By Szebren

One of the fundamental assertions of feminism is a wife cheats because her husband did something wrong. He is said to be neglectful or unappreciative or self centered. Conversely, they claim a husband cheats because he is egotistical or superficial. A wife did nothing wrong. Therefore, men – BUT NOT WOMEN – should be held accountable for their indiscretions.

This double standard is the basis for women’s websites listing the names of men who allegedly cheat.

The most popular website is WomanSavers. Its database lists a man’s full name, his picture, hometown and explains what he allegedly did wrong. Additionally, ratings on his character, commitment, trustworthiness, and abusiveness are also displayed. Any woman can add an entry on any man. However, it is against the rules to add a woman into the database. Her character and trustworthiness cannot be evaluated. As is the case throughout feminist society, she is considered above questioning. What makes this website’s double standard astounding is that it references four articles which conclude there is only a small difference in the infidelity rate between the genders.

  • Intimate Partners, Scarf 1996
  • Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, Atwood & Schwartz 2002
  • Monogamy Myth, Vaughan 2003
  • Is Your Relationship at Risk?, Dworkin-McDaniel 2007

Even more astounding, however, is a survey conducted by the website in which 49% of women said they cheated. Another 26% said that they’d have no problem stepping out on their husbands or boyfriends if they knew they could get away with it. THIS MAKES MANY WOMEN ON THIS SITE BLATANT HYPOCRITES.

WomanSavers also has a forum allowing users to engage in discussions. Some women on the forum post excuses on why they have had affairs. They also support other members who have stepped out on their husbands and boyfriends. A few men have commented in the forum. Some have posted their wives have had affairs. Many members will defend the wife’s actions, claiming the husband must have done something wrong. However it should be stated not all women defend backstabbing wives. Some heavily criticize them. Others tell the mistreated husband to stop being a doormat.

A website similar to Womensavers is ‘Dont Date Him Girl’. This site accumulated a database of allegedly unfaithful men (complete with names, photos and hometowns) supposedly larger than Womensavers. And like Womensavers, adding a female’s name to its database was forbidden. ‘Dont Date Him Girl’ has been featured on CBSNews, ABCNews, New York Times, The TODAY Show, CNN, FOX News and various women’s magazines.

Since major media outlets promoted the site, many men became aware of its existence. Some discovered they were listed in the database. They demanded their names be removed from the listing claiming the women were lying. For example, according to ‘OnLine Dating Magazine’ one woman posted the name of her former boyfriend, claiming he cheated and subsequently gave her herpes. The boyfriend discovered the accusation, actually took a blood test to prove he did not have herpes and demanded his removal from the site’s database. ‘Don?t Date Him Girl’ complied.

The obvious conclusion of this incident: the women either lied about her story or was a slut who has no idea which man gave her herpes.

In the fall of 2010, ‘Dont Date Him Girl’ removed its database. This was not because the site’s owner suddenly believed all cheats should be treated the same. Rather, she had come to the realization a successful lawsuit against her was inevitable. A growing number of men were proving
their former girlfriends were liars.

‘Dont Date Him Girl’ currently has a forum where anyone can post information on former lovers. However, the same female chauvinist hypocrisy that existed in its database permeates this forum. For example, a husband posted the full name of his backstabbing wife and the sleazebag other man. Rather than gaining sympathy, women criticized him for posting the names – despite the fact there are hundreds of men’s names, many with photos, already listed in the forum. Another man expressed support for the website and asked if there was a similar site listing the names of unfaithful girlfriends. He was denounced and mocked.

Besides men being able to post, the only apparent difference between the forum and the former database is searchability. There is no search tool for the forum. Presumably this significantly decreases the chance of a lawsuit because its more difficult to find information on a specific
person.

Holding only half of the population responsible for their actions is sexist (in other words its feminist). Every individual should be held accountable for their backstabbing. Unfortunately, the thousands of immature and narrow minded women using these websites believe
differently. They promote a cheating double standard.

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