I started this out as reply to a comment by Elusive Waipiti on this thread, regarding the reaction of the Manosphere to Kay Hymowitz’s latest man-bashing screed in the Wall Street Journal. But, it quickly became too long to bury in the comments to another post, and I think it is relevant enough to merit a post of its own.
I still think there was value in the strong manosphere reaction to Hymowitz’ blatant man-baiting.
I wasn’t saying that there was no value in it, EW. I really was playing wingman and coach and trying to point out the Game she was running.
When I was growing up, this was something men used to do for each other. I remember well one incident when I was a young horny fool having drinks in a bar with a guy about 5 years older than I was, who definitely had Game. Our waitress was a wholesomely pretty young woman in her early 20s who was engaging in friendly “waitress patter” which included lots of smiley references to hard times she was pluckily going through. I don’t remember the details but it was probably something like paying her way through school and having a sick mother and stuff like that. (This was long enough ago there would have been no “single mom” stories.)
After she flounced off, Larry cast me a sideways glance and said with smirking half smile – “She’s hustling us for a bigger tip.” That was all it took for me. The next time she came around I took a half step back from trying to play “big strong generous man out to rescue a girlie in distress and be her hero for a nanosecond” and watched her.
He was dead right.
I watched her dealing with other customers – working the eye contact, the strategic flash of a bit of discrete cleavage (this was over 30 years ago), the laughter at customers’ jokes she had probably heard thousands of times, the hair flips, the innocent almost accidental touches on the arm and shoulder. This girl was passing out IOIs like there was no tomorrow, and guys’ wallets were flying open like she had said “open sesame.”
I still left a generous tip, but probably nothing like what I would have dropped on her if Larry hadn’t clued me in.
So, my pointing out what Hymowitz was pulling was in the vein of pointing out the Game she is running, in order to do this –
while we are part of the amen choir, our brothers and sons may not yet be. How instructive was it for one of them to read Hymowitz’ article–consider that the problem may be indeed with him, as a male, like he’s been told his entire life–and then bam! He sees the reaction of other men who call shenanigans on the entire deal?
That part I totally agree with. I say lets go a step further and start to really pick apart her game, shenanigan by shenanigan.
Human beings have huge catalog of reactions controlled in the hind-brain or brain stem, and mediated by the hypothalamus. At least 99% of all our behavior is automatic and autonomic. We don’t have to remember to breathe, or blink, or have our skin raise goose pimples when we get a chill. A pretty girl with a pretty smile will bring a smile to man’s face without him ever having to think about it.
Most women are instinctively concert pianists when it comes to knowing how to play on and play these reactions in men. Bat their eyes, flip their hair, flash a smile, and most men’s IQ immediately drops 50 points.
In the past, cultures had value systems which restrained people from being too manipulative and destructive with their use of their ability to manipulate other people. For example, most people were aware that women had the power to “lead men on”, and would criticize it, not condone it.
And, more than anything else, what “women’s liberation” demanded was “liberation” from any restraints on their ability to manipulate men.
One of my earliest posts here was about how men need to hone their “rhetoric of ridicule.” Women are masters of using words to play on men’s emotions like they would play a violin, and I believe that men need to study their Game and learn not only how to defeat it, but to turn it back on them.
One of the most fundamental and powerful reaction complexes is something called the “fight flight syndrome.” All animals, humans included, respond to threats and attacks with systemic arousal which puts them in the best position to either fight back against the threat or flee from it. Higher processing centers in the brain are shut down, the bloodstream is flooded with adrenaline and other performance-enhancing hormones, senses become more acute, and reaction time is lowered.
It is the perfect way and time to use a feint to sucker a man into reacting in a less-than-intellectual manner.
Hymowitz’s screed was an all out, full scale, attack on men, delivered in a manner honed by women through millennia of practice – with words, and indirectly enough to be “plausibly deniable.”
In football, if the opposing team can sucker you into jumping off-side, you get a penalty. We need to study the other teams tactics and watch closely for false moves and be able to tell them from a real snap.
The most powerful method a man has to counter attempts to manipulate him is something which has been called the “Hypothalmic Pause.” In all reflexive behavior Response generally immediately follows Stimulus in the manner – S->R. In order to get control of his own reactions back from other people attempting to exploit them to his detriment, a man needs to insert a pause after the stimulus, get control of his autonomic responses, rev his higher order thought processes back up, and choose how he reacts instead of reacting instinctively which makes him utterly predictable – S->P->T-(c)R. After the Stimulus, Pause, Think about what is going on, and then choose your Reaction. Thus is the way of the superior man.
Think of the constant stream of man-bashing articles as the aerial shelling of the gender war. The entire purpose is to keep us in the emotional state of being under attack and keep us off balance so we respond instinctively, and predictably. Think of Hymowitz’s screed as simply another carpet-bombing run in the Blitz of the Gender War. She launched a shotgun attack against men, hoping that the sheer scale of her attack would throw men off balance. She got out a wire brush, jerked down their knickers, and proceeded to royally chap their asses in hopes their attention would be so focused on that they would not catch her palming the card for her next trick of parlor magic.
It succeeded to a large extent. Sure, a lot of guys rallied to do a pellet-by-pellet refutation of her BS, which was the entire point of flinging so much poo at them at once – to keep them busy and wear them out defending themselves on stupid idea after stupid idea that I am sure the mule-faced woman herself does not believe. But, as a tactic it achieved her strategic objective of putting men on the defensive, keeping them so busy with defending themselves against bullshit that their time would be wasted doing that instead of working on their own strategy and tactics.
The lack of any real research at all, even bogus “advocacy research”, was the telltale giveaway – known to gamblers simply as “the tell.” She just strung together a bunch of assertions that she knew would piss off men, and kept piling them on in the belief that if she kept going long enough she would find something to piss off just about anyone. And, all the hackles she raised would have the side benefit of putting money in her pockets as guys bought her book to try to tear apart one stupid argument at a time.
The most important strategy for men overall and individually is to take away women’s ability to control them through manipulation. The way we do this is not to go chasing one bullet or zinger at a time, trying to neutralize them one at a time, but to take out the sniper sending them our way. Imagine her book as a very loud, very foul smelling, verbal fart ripped by one of the matrons in the middle of the Royal Wedding. It was so loud that the minister was actually interrupted in his service, and stunk so bad that everyone sitting close to her moved as far away as they could.
Now, let’s really start to go for the jugular.
Now that we have gotten our reflexive instinctive reactions under control, what is she really saying? Look at the woman she chose to use for her example – a used up slag who by her own admission has been pumped and dumped by half the male population of Manhattan.
She is actually bitching about the inevitable consequences of “women’s liberation”, and caterwauling that women like this can’t find nice, stable, high-earning, accountants to finance the post-sluttitude lifestyles to which they would dearly love to become accustomed.
Well, as the old saying goes – no shit, Sherlock.
As Mr. Price has already pointed out, there is no point in looking for a wife because most of what is out there on the market either look, or act, or both, like the woman in this picture.
And, to all the NAWALTs getting ready to swoop in with their NAWALTs, take your NAWALTs and shove them where the sun don’t shine.
What really frightens Hymowitz, and all the slags she is fronting for, is that the very targets of her attack are the men who have figured out the game and how to beat it. It is embarrassingly pathetic to watch her to try to invoke the very social values that feminists have worked for the past 5 decades to destroy, in order to sucker young men into rescuing these slags from the inescapable consequences of the destruction of those values.
Too late, carp-breath.
As Mr. Price says, the game is wearing out for some of us. Younger men have figured out that there simply are no jobs any more which would allow them to live up to their old roles, they have been raised their entire lives with those old traditional roles having been spat upon, so Skadi/Lara/Kathy Hymowitz’s complaints about them are falling on deaf ears.
Unfortunately, the only young men left who are ripe for the plucking of either being some Yugo grrl slag’s kitchen bitch, or to finance her impulses to Eat, Pray, and Love, are the unfortunate sons of traditionalists who are turning to cannibalism and offering their own sons up to be cannon fodder for the industrial war machine of the Divorce Industry. Younger guys like Ferdinand Barmanu are of the opinion that the Baby Boomers are out to kill him.
In the case of women like Hymowitz, Ferd is probably correct – they would happily boil him in a pot to give some used up slag just one more shopping trip to Nordstrom’s. They have not one tiny shred of care or concern for the well being of men – only fear that women’s sense of entitlement may go unmet. Arguing with them, trying to refute the things they say that even they know are lies even as they say them, isn’t going to accomplish anything.
It is an utter and complete waste of our time, as well as a very foul betrayal of our brothers and sons, to bother fisking what any feminist – right wing or left wing – says detail by detail, and then turn around and give a male voice to the same message and harass them with RealMansprecht
Articles like this are indicative of a last gasp attempt to salvage a hopeless situation. They are nothing more than the latest incarnation of a White Feather Campaign being used as a last ditch attempt to try to sucker young men into sacrificing themselves to bail some used up whore out of the consequences of her own feminist-inspired choices, trying to send them to their deaths which will only serve the agendas of others, by shaming them.
These boys have the right idea, and I suspect that more than a few of them really don’t need older manginas and former manginas rushing to their defense. All they need us to do is to not side with their enemies.
Of all the fisking of this article that went on, I think The Damned Olde Man nailed it best, it is all, and only, about women’s sense of entitlement –
Kay seems to believe that women are entitled to a man who will support them in marriage and after divorce. Women are entitled to take a man’s children and demand that he hand over his paycheck until they’re grown. Women are entitled to men who are willing to go die for them. Women are also entitled to reject men entirely if they so choose. But men are entitled to none of it.
Instead, men should be happy to find a promiscuous slut who already has a couple of kids for him to support and who will live with him just long enough to produce a couple more before leaving him and claiming that she is now entitled to half his stuff and lifelong support payments under threat of allegations that he was abusive.
Sorry Kay, men don’t want the nightmare offered by the modern, liberated women.
Kay H: “Men, MAN UP!!”
Men: “No. Now shut up and go away.”
End of discussion
Know how to win every argument with a woman?
“Argue with my ass, bitch, I’m late for the door.”
There is a huge amount of discussion here and thousands of other places on the web about macro strategy – how do we change the entire culture and its values to conform to what we want? Those discussions are useful, but they are long term and it is likely that many of us will not see any results in our lifetimes. Whatever happens, for the time being it really is “every man for himself”, and every man has to come up with an individual strategy which will work for himself to survive the years between now and when the new Garden of Eden gets established on earth.
My strategy is fairly simple. I have often quipped that the best way to kill a bad idea is to implement it as fully and quickly as possible, and to make sure everyone knows who is responsible for the idea so they know who to blame when it goes bad. If you fight it and allow it to be implemented a little bit at a time, its advocates can paint you as obstructive and reactionary. They can claim that all the world’s problems would be solved by their plan, and blame those who oppose it for those problems not being solved.
Implementing it rapidly and without opposition allows its failures to be immediately apparent, and the people who suggested it are viewed as idiots by those that got hurt by the idea.
Before feminism, women had by far the better half of the deal. A real re-balancing of the social roles would have benefitted men as much or more than women. But, feminism has remained true to its name – FEMININE-ism – and has been relentless in securing as many possible entitlements for women as they could, while leaving nothing at all on the table for men.
Well, with nothing on the table for men, there is no reason for men to continue to sit there and put bread on it simply because women feel entitled to forcing men to do that. So, the men have left the building – to the women who wanted to be men.
Welcome to the world that feminism built for you, grrls. Women are now the new men. Now, go get ‘em.