Do You Feel Lucky, Punk? AKA Profiling the Perpetrators

by Featured Guest on February 18, 2011

By AfOR

I have always been lucky when it came to picking up women, certainly if quantity is anything to go by. However I have had a couple of mis-fires when it comes to quality, and the last one resulted in me being the victim of a False Rape Accusation.

Being lucky means things come easy, and when things come easy you don’t pay attention, you just drift through the process enjoying it, but being lucky also means you end up playing the numbers game, and that means that it is only a question of time before you have a mis-fire.

I should also state for the record that as a heterosexual male, my only relationship experiences have been with women, perhaps men are the same, I wouldn’t know first hand, but I doubt it.

So, I hit my late forties and had a mis-fire and got a False Rape Accusation made against me, at that point I started to pay attention, and thanks to the internet and the usual web sites that you are all familiar with (False Rape Society, Shrink 4 Men, etc.) I started to study my own particular tragedy in some detail.

What I discovered is that everyone actually does tell the truth about themselves, if you listen.

I have often said “I’m stupid” in conversation, and I have also said “I’m smart”, the two are not mutually exclusive because the smart statement was made about my job / trade / skill set, and the stupid statement was made about the women I end up with.

When women say “I’m crazy” even if just quoting Norma Jean Baker, you really should listen.

If you had asked me about my ex before she made the False Rape Accusation I would have said “She’s a crazy bitch.” But I didn’t really listen to myself, not so much that I didn’t really mean it, more a case of it being one of those lines that comes from the sub-conscious, without heavy inflection of tones, without facial expression, without any kind of emphasis, so generally we do not pay a great deal of attention.

The sort of lines we should all be listening to.

I will refer to this as “The Tell”.

So anyway, the False Rape Accusation is made, I start studying, and it doesn’t take long for me to make a layman’s diagnosis of a Cluster B Personality Disorder in my ex, specifically Borderline Personality Disorder… she really was a crazy bitch.

So far this is just a story, history, literally, it is the past and nothing can be changed, but what I am going to talk about now is the future, and that can be very heavily altered and influenced by what we do now.

In my studies I discovered that Cluster B personality disorders are actually quite common, with some studies suggesting as much as 10% of the female population being Cluster B.

Since most of my relationships were wham-bam, I wasn’t around long enough to notice, which leaves me with the fairly average number of four women who I have co-habited with for one year or longer, statistically this would mean that if 10% of the female population is Cluster B, every time you meet a woman and get involved with her you stand a 1 in 10 chance of getting unlucky.

In my case getting involved to co-habiting level with four women raises that possibility from a 1 in 10 chance to a 4 in 10 chance.

Since I have no intention of swearing off pussy (I’m 50 an everything still works as well as it did 30 years ago, and I still have the same waistline etc.) this means the next one raises that to evens, but, like the flipped coin probability experiment (if you toss 5 heads in a row the probability of a 6th head is still 1 in 2) having hit the jackpot last time doesn’t reset the counter back to 1 in 10.

Without wishing to get into a discussion about statistics and probability, people are not dice or roulette wheels, the odds do not stay the same the longer you play.

While 1 in 10 women being at least slightly nuts may seem like acceptable odds when you are 15, by the time you get to 50, the mere fact that most of the decent women are still married to their first love means that the odds are skewed badly against you, because in effect the passage of time has acted like a filter, removing all the saner women from the mix.

In singleton society, the older you get, the greater the proportion of crazy women in the society.

I will refer to this as “The Infection”

Which brings me to internet dating sites, doncha just love em, when I was 18 I had a tee shirt that said;

TELL ME NOW BEFORE I WASTE $10 ON BEER

… and I had to buy that tee shirt, thanks to the internet dating is now free, and the market of potential mates is vastly expanded beyond anything limited by physical proximity as it was when we were kids.

Now there are basically two types of internet dating sites, the straight sex ones, and the kinky sex ones, and I have been making excellent use of both, and of course both are populated by the same crazy women, and let me tell you brothers, the girls on the straight sex sites are every bit as kinky as the ones on the kinky sex sites.

The only difference is, the ones on the kinky sex sites are more likely to put The Tell in their profile, some of the real crazy ones will put The Tell in three or four times in the one profile. You won’t see this, you will be concentrating on the bits where she says she likes to have cock rammed so far down her throat she gags, and the picture of her tied up…

There is of course a definite link between The Tell and The Infection, no matter how kinky you are, sooner or later you will come across a profile and sexual interests that will make you sit back and mutter “this bitch is fucking insane”, but you probably still won’t wake up and realise that you are not in Kansas anymore, after all, there are more profiles one click away, and de-sensitisation works just as well when you do it to yourself.

So you go back to the straight sex dating sites, and still, it doesn’t really matter what you say on your profile, or what your pictures look like, the levels of The Infection are still obtrusively high.

Don’t get me wrong, there are still half decent women out there, but the proportion of ore to spoil is always diminishing, and the only way to beat that is go get very mechanical, very efficient, and very cold blooded in your search process, you have to discard everything that contains even the merest hint of The Tell, because by the time The Tell is detectable the incubation period for The Infection has long since passed.

Well, I can hear you thinking, how about winding the clock back and going for the as yet virgin territories of the young females, after all, nothing in Game or anything else prohibits a 40 year old guy going with a 20 year old girl?

Well, I tried that too, and the crucial factor that I forgot was that old ticking clock, everyone and everything changes with time, and this means young girls who were delighted to go with an older guy when guys their own ages didn’t have decent cars or decent sexual abilities or decent intelligence and experience, turn into older girls who maybe ain’t so delighted any more, after all, their world knowledge of relationships was with you, and that was for them as easy as falling off a log, so how hard can it be to engage in a bit of hypergamy and trade up before THEY get to be 30??? Right??

Which is how in my case I found myself the target of two simultaneous False Rape Accusations.

Of course you can argue that I really should have known better than to fuck a mother and a daughter at the same time, but the facts are THEY knew about each other, and it didn’t bother either of them, at the time, until sufficient time passed and a bit of hypergamous trading up was required, in my case trading up to the most Alpha male providers of all time, the State.

If you catch yourself thinking “hey, he was ASKING for trouble.” Then maybe you want to look in the mangina mirror, was I really asking to be Falsely Accused of Rape? You think?

The reason I relate the above is as follows…

So while in theory I can beat the odds of the ever diminishing supply of decent available women by looking in the younger end of the market, before the good ones are grabbed, and while it certainly is possible to find one free of all traces of The Tell, your real problem, as mine was, lies with The Infection.

Even if you find a young one who is not infected, there is no immunity, The Infection could strike at any time, in fact the more time passes, the more likely it is, while for you being the older guy, you are squandering what you have.

The Tell is a warning sign, The Tell doesn’t kill you, steal your children, grab your house, live off your alimony, or make false accusations of domestic violence or sexual abuse against you.

The Infection is the killer, it will kill you, it will steal your children, it will grab your house, it will live off your alimony, it will make false accusations of violence and sexual abuse against you.

The Infection WILL DO THESE THINGS, it can’t help it, that is its nature… read Aesop’s tale of the scorpion and the frog.

The Tell is only visible after The Infection has passed the incubation period and entered its virulent phase.

The passage of time means that every man out there faces the same problem I do, ever increasing levels of The Infection, which we can guard against and counter to a certain extent by running bulk dating screening operations and blocking women’s profiles at the first hint of The Tell.

Accept that while overall maybe 10% of the female population have a Personality Disorder, the passage of time is a filter, so when you are talking about 25+ year old women on a dating site, it’s nearer 30%, 30+ year old women on a dating site, it’s nearer 50%, 35+ year old women on a dating site, it’s nearer 75%.

Kinky sex sites are all at least 10% worse in every category.

So, getting back to the original premise, do you feel lucky? Is there a bullet left in the spout?

Face facts, the odds aren’t good, and the older you get the worse the odds get. There is less and less ore per ton of rock.

The only way to beat this is adopt mass production techniques and instead of panning for ore by hand, in person, in realtime, to do it virtually, online, filter thousands of profiles and trash every one with The Tell, which will be the vast majority of them, and then start winnowing on what’s left, seeing if your single response / memo to their profile can induce The Tell (such as not wanting to exchange mobile numbers early in case you are a psycho stalker) and if it does, Block them.

Don’t ignore them, don’t politely brush them off, just click the BLOCK button and move on, you have thousands of tons of rock to sift before you find your first nugget. You don’t have the time to be polite, and they aren’t worth it anyway, it is wasted on The Infected.

Most of all, forget firm and tender young flesh if you are looking for a relationship, you can still get some of that stuff for the odd wham-bam (*do* keep archived records of all memos / texts and audio of the actual encounter) but as relationship material the mere fact of the age disparity is going to encourage others of The Infected to congregate around her and infect her.

Hell, I kept myself in shape, some women manage to get past 30 while keeping in shape without needing to resort to surgery or layers of make up and corsets, and pretty much by definition this is the kind of women you are looking for, The non-Infected.

In fact, the 10% or so on dating sites who do not show The Tell may just be second hand, much like a car, and you can get good used cars.

But of that 10% that do not show The Tell, expect at least 90% of them to be The Infected, in plain terms this means you have to treat 99% of women that might at first glance interest you as being toxic waste.

MGTOW and your right hand may be one way to go, but frankly it’s a poor substitute as far as I am concerned, I’m not dead yet and I like female flesh too much to give it up completely.

If you use the mass production filtering techniques there is still enough results that do not have The Tell to keep you in wham-bam often enough to keep you happy and smiling, and remember this is no meals, no drinks, no money, turn up and do me wham-bam and usually as kinky as you like as well.. I figure a strict daily regimen of 5 minutes in the morning checking out the new women joined, and a quick “Yo, how’s it goin’” pasted (Plenty of Fish is stopping pasted replies now, which tells you how many were doing it, male and female…) into those who do not exhibit The Tell in the profile itself, then another 10 minutes in the evening filtering the responses for “The Tell” and taking it to the second level filtering, can you provoke a The Tell response or any signs of The Infection, those that pass that hit them with your mobile number and a suggestion to meet for coffee within 48 hours, one shot, one chance.

You *need* a decent mobile phone, and you *need* to set rules that apply to all, e.g. meet for coffee, maximum expenditure 1 buck, one chance, no excuses, act like you are a paid agent or pimp, you’ll get ten bucks every time you get the guy laid, but you have to pay him 20 for every flake you hook him up with… this is the attitude you need to filter successfully and improve your luck.

You *need* to record and document everything electronically, don’t just delete texts and call records after the event, even if it was a washout, back em up to an archive.. this is why you need a *decent* phone, more options.

You *must* use the BLOCK function, it is the only way in hell you have any hope of coping with the sheer numbers, the idea is to filter, filters are no good unless they are one way…

Can I still get access to the same sorts of pussy I could when I was 20?

Nope, short of winning the lottery and landing in Silvio Berlusconi territory, those days are gone, hope you exploited them for all they were worth, because they are gone now.

Does this mean my sex life is over or all downhill?
Hell, no, not if you learn to look for The Tell and The Infected and start playing the numbers game like a professional hobby, and go into mass production and put every single female within 50 miles through your refining process, do NOT pre-filter on “hey, she has a big nose and wears spectacles” because you could well be excluding a wham-bam with a great body… some of the nicest looking / feeling / tasting poon I have ever seen was attached to girls whose faces were a 2 on a good day. That wham-bam doesn’t just keep you together, it keeps your perspective straight, it stops you yearning like some pathetic 12 year old for true love…

The Tell.

In addition to the obvious such as Monroe quotes, any use of the word “crazy” anywhere in a profile, “soul mate” is a definite tell and definitely one of The Infected. “Shopping” is of course verboten, but any mention of “the girls” as in her female friends is also a classic sign of The Infected, much worse than a shopper.

Women who mention anywhere in the profile (words or pictures) foreign travel of any kind are also The Infected, and this also goes for any mention of a career and independence such as “my own business / home / car” these are huge red flags, the tie die surf boutique bought out of the proceeds of the last guy etc. isn’t going to bring in any living wage.

Any mention of how they have been hurt in the past, where are all the nice men, these are not The Tell, these are The Infected in pustulent, virulent, extreme contagion phase, these are not even wham-bam material, these are avoid like the plague material. Block instantly.

Any mention of how they are not looking for a father for the kids etc. Definite The Tell, if profile includes pictures of kids and their names then The Infected, if not then possible wham-bam material, then Block.

{ 86 comments… read them below or add one }

Journey February 18, 2011 at 09:10

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 78
Opus February 18, 2011 at 09:13

‘All the signs are there from the beginning, if only you can read them’.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 31 Thumb down 1
Firepower February 18, 2011 at 09:13

“Filters” of ever-increasing strength will be required when living in a society that is female controlled.

It’s apparent that females are indeed in control. To wit, men need articles such as this, while crazy, drunken females are allowed to not only roam free, but are rewarded for such behavior.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 44 Thumb down 2
POIUYT February 18, 2011 at 09:17

Quote:
“”MGTOW and your right hand may be one way to go, but frankly it’s a poor substitute as far as I am concerned, I’m not dead yet and I like female flesh too much to give it up completely.””

And this my friend is why you will continue to be owned by them and their system that freely exploits, extorts and expropriates from you and your fellow man with impunity.

How can it not be so, when you readily and openly admit to being totally sold on their bait … , a thing which incidentally isn’t denied to other nobler men of other nobler societies whom still set strict boundaries for themselves and the opposite sex ?

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 46 Thumb down 3
Keyster February 18, 2011 at 09:35

http://www.slate.com/id/2285318/?GT1=38001

Take Hanna Rosin’s survey…at the bottom of the page.
Try to be honest…(He said with a patriarchal wink and a nod.)

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 09:38

@ POIUYT

I don’t see how a liking for pussy equates to be pwned by pussy.

Note well I do not pay for it, no meals, nights out, drinks, nowt.

Being pwned by pussy means doing things I would not do normally, that pussy does not want me to do.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 11 Thumb down 11
Charles Martel February 18, 2011 at 09:43

Hello, AfOR.

I’m sorry about your FRA. No-one deserves that. However, it seems to me you’re the male equivalent of the skankily-dressed woman walking alone in a bad neighborhood after dark. The victim of a crime, certainly, but one whose behavior at a minimum put you in harm’s way.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 30 Thumb down 2
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 09:52

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 53
AntZ February 18, 2011 at 09:58

Two days ago I saw a pick-up artist plying his trade. He was working a duplex business that has a pizza joint on one side and a sandwich shop on the other.

The guy had to work two places at the same time because women took more time to order lunch for take out than he did to order the women for take out.

He had one eye, he was slightly over-weight, and his ride was a wreck. I asked him what his moves were, and he gave me some BS about not having any moves, just being himself.

A real eye-opener.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 2
Rebel February 18, 2011 at 10:11

For those addicted to pussy, there is something called prostitutes.
I does cost money. But it cannot put you in jail unless you are really nuts.

A common misconception: using a prostitute costs more than a non-prostitute. You must consider not only the number of dollars you need to lay out to get laid down: a false accusation will cost you infinitely more.

And then there is this: you stand fewer “chances” of getting std’s of all sorts if you use a medium quality whore instead of a non-whore.

In the end, a non-whore costs more.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 42 Thumb down 3
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 10:11

Men REALLY need to avoid crazy women and learn to recognize and avoid them. You had me on-board until you trotted this out:

“Of course you can argue that I really should have known better than to fuck a mother and a daughter at the same time, but the facts are THEY knew about each other, and it didn’t bother either of them, at the time, until sufficient time passed and a bit of hypergamous trading up was required, in my case trading up to the most Alpha male providers of all time, the State.

If you catch yourself thinking “hey, he was ASKING for trouble.” Then maybe you want to look in the mangina mirror, was I really asking to be Falsely Accused of Rape? You think?”

Sorry J, you may not have been asking for trouble but you certainly weren’t going out of your way to avoid it either. A bad outcome here was about as predictable as the sunrise. This is just like the Spearhead article from a few days ago, “CBS Reporter Lara Logan Beaten, Gang-Raped in Egypt Protests.” She didn’t ask to be assaulted either, but most of the guys who commented there, including me, rightly pointed out that she deliberately placed herself in a position where bad consequences were likely. There’s no doubt you were victimized by two terrible women in cahoots with each other, but a MOTHER AND DAUGHTER AT THE SAME TIME? Good Lord, man, did you EXPECT that to end well?

False rape accusations are a terrible scourge, and women who make them should be flayed alive (my brother went through the FRA wringer with his ex-wife), so it’s not like I have the slightest sympathy for the women who screwed you over, but you seem to be suggesting that knowingly putting yourself at greatly increased risk was not a factor in the outcome. Well this very NON-mangina says this is nothing more than the bogus “Rape Shield Laws” applied to men…

…Which is too bad, as the main point of the article is important. At least you have a system for “avoiding crazy” now, and I’m sorry it took an FRA to bring you to where you are. Overall your article does very well in pointing out to guys the need to avoid whack-jobs.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 33 Thumb down 2
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 10:20

@ Charles and paigue

Thank you both for picking up on that point.
(See, men don’t do mealy-mouthed, they say it up front.)

1/ you won’t find me saying that a scantily dressed woman who is raped asked for it.

2/ you *will* find me saying she did indulge in risky behaviour, much like leaving your wallet in view on the dashboard of your car.

3/ A woman dressing as a skank and flirting is in effect “advertising” to a wide audience.

4/ A man in a long term co-habiting relationship, apart from the sex/gender difference, is quite different, it is a long term relationship.

5/ The difference being *RELATIONSHIP* which means a “deal” has been done and agreed between the consenting parties, when the woman retrospectively retracts consent, and then lies and claims consent was not present, is in my view quite different (not just because it happened to me) to grabbing a woman and raping her.

6/ There is no consent in rape, there is no consent in having your wallet stolen from your car dashboard, there is no *RELATIONSHIP* of any kind between perpetrator and victim.

7/ there is consent in a *RELATIONSHIP*

OK, in talking about my SPECIFIC case I am excluding the scenario where the guy has a one night stand and gets falsely accused of rape, and I have had many wham-bam one night stands.

Had I been the victim of an FRA under those circumstances I would be much closer to the skank or the person leaving the wallet on the dashboard, and you can say that I was indulging in dangerous / risky behaviour.

In these circumstances PART of the blame must lie with the person indulging in the risky behaviour, nota bene, PART, not all by any means…

I refer to the mangina mirror because I have never heard anyone, ever, (outside of a 1970′s comedy skit by Derek & Clive aka Peter Cook and Dudley Moore) attempt to defend a rapist by saying that it wasn’t his fault, how could anyone be expected to resist etc.

Nor do we get many cases of people falsely accused of stealing wallets from car dashboards when there was no wallet and no car and no theft.

Nor is there any proportionality between being the victim of a rape, and the victim of a False Rape Accusation, rape victims do not lose their jobs, their homes, their friends and families, their very freedom, their children, their careers, their future income, etc… Nor do rape victims become subsequent victims of further rapes.

you can also apply this to the wallet theft.

So, to summarise, I say that the two cases are very different because the consequences are very different.

A rape accusation is a Hiroshima or Nagasaki pre-emptive strike.

I would MUCH rather be accused of a murder (how? how can one be falsely accused of a murder?) or imprisoned for murder than rape… you can serve a murder sentence and get out and nobody objects when you move into their street.

So, to be clear, the “mangina mirror” comment was intended to pique and prod interest in the generally accepted manosphere idea that rape is a serious crime.

It isn’t… being stabbed in the guts is much much worse.

A False Rape Accusation is an attack not just upon a person, not just upon their character and good name, but also by reflection of the character and good name of everyone related to them, and everyone who knows and associates with them.

The fact is my risky wham-bam behaviour left ME quite open to being raped, it does happen, or mugged, it does happen, or having the shit kicked out of me, it does happen (the husband of the supposedly single woman walks in and catches you banging his wife in his bed….)

this is equal to the risk the skank takes.

The FRA is a whole different ball game.

discuss.

(and thank you both for raising the point and helping the discussion along)

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 16 Thumb down 4
Novaseeker February 18, 2011 at 10:24

Why is it wrong to say that you “asked” for a FRA because of a poor choice but it is not wrong to suggest that a woman being brutally raped “asked for it” because of her poor choice/s?

Apples and oranges.

The latter is about dangling meat before a lion and being surprised when he lunges for it — it’s a very specific reaction to a very specific behavior: females generating male arousal – and the women *know* they’re generating male arousal.

The latter is not the same at all — unless you are claiming that most promiscuous sexual encounters are “baiting” women to accuse the men of rape, as in it’s a predictable, natural reaction, it’s an intensely visceral mpulse they must work hard to restrain lest they give in to the impulse and just cry “RAPE!!!!!” as every cell in their body is screaming at them to do.

Is it like that for women in terms of rape accusations?

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 28 Thumb down 2
Anonymous Reader February 18, 2011 at 10:25

With all due respect, your sexual setup was the equivalent of stuffing handfuls of hundred dollar bills into every pocket of a suit and then going for a beer at a real dive of a bar, in the worst part of town, at midnight and then proceeding to get toilet-hugging drunk before walking out the door. Someone who walks around with a “Hey! Rob me!” sign on them shouldn’t be surprised to be mugged. Someone having sex with both mother and daughter shouldn’t be surprised to get hit with FRA. This isn’t the 1970′s, and we ain’t living in “Letters to Penthouse”.

Not saying you deserve it, but an old man once told me three rules for a long life:

1. Don’t hang out with stupid people.
2. Don’t go to stupid places.
3. Don’t do stupid things.

From where I sit, you busted both rule 1 and rule 3 for sure.

To your list of tells on the infection, I would add the following:

“High maintenance”, “spirited”, “moxy” for sure and possibly “independent” as well.

Frankly, this article basically verifies for me that staying away from social media is the best course. I don’t want to meet any of these women.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 22 Thumb down 3
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 10:25

@ Lyn87
“Sorry J, you may not have been asking for trouble but you certainly weren’t going out of your way to avoid it either. A bad outcome here was about as predictable as the sunrise. This is just like the Spearhead article from a few days ago, “CBS Reporter Lara Logan Beaten, Gang-Raped in Egypt Protests.” She didn’t ask to be assaulted either, but most of the guys who commented there, including me, rightly pointed out that she deliberately placed herself in a position where bad consequences were likely. There’s no doubt you were victimized by two terrible women in cahoots with each other, but a MOTHER AND DAUGHTER AT THE SAME TIME? Good Lord, man, did you EXPECT that to end well?”

ah yes, except for the bit where I stated, quite specifically, THEY BOTH KNEW ABOUT EACH OTHER, and this little triangle went on for seven bloody years, and it wasn’t a problem for anyone… until one day they both decide to retroactively refuse consent and lie about events that never actually happened… in order to hypergamise themselves into the folds of the uber alpha male of the State.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 2
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 10:28

@ anonymous reader


1. Don’t hang out with stupid people.
2. Don’t go to stupid places.
3. Don’t do stupid things.

let’s call a spade a spade, ___I___ was ___FUCKING___ stupid too.

does that mean I deserved it?

open season on anyone with a room temp IQ?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 0
Firepower February 18, 2011 at 10:33

1. Don’t hang out with stupid people.
2. Don’t go to stupid places.
3. Don’t do stupid things.

Very simple, clear lessons
Sadly, young men will never learn this, until they age.

Trying to fit in is how PUA gurus amass fortunes.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 2
Keyster February 18, 2011 at 10:40

If by reaching into a bag of vipers, I’m told I have a one in ten chance of being bitten I won’t do it. Given the chance to have a peak into the bag first wouldn’t change my decision.

I’d prefer to pay one professional viper upfront, that virtually guarantees I won’t be bitten. Willowing out the “Uninfected” is time consuming and time is money. Besides, the numbers just aren’t there. 99% are “infected” (effected?), by the time they’re 40. It’s like panning all day for $20 worth of gold flake. Is it really worth it?

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 16 Thumb down 0
Charles Martel February 18, 2011 at 10:50

The FRA is a whole different ball game. discuss.
AfOR

You’re a highly intelligent guy. You’ve made some fascinating and insightful comments here at The Spearhead. You get Richard Dawkins. All good with me.

But even though you clearly understand women very well, you engage in behavior that you KNOW will push their emotional buttons, and not in a good way. What’s up with that?

Now I don’t know the details of your FRA(s), who made it/them, etc., and so don’t fully understand what happened. But as a general rule, I would not walk into a biker bar and start dissing Harley-Davidson as the consequences of that are predictable.

You’ve described your behavior with married women in other comments. This goes strongly against the grain with me – I have never touched a taken woman – and so I can’t help thinking there’s some cosmic Karma at work here.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 2
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 10:51

AfOR,

I’m pretty new here, but I gather you wrote the original article. If you’re not just change all the “you’s” to “he’s.”

You and I were typing responses at the same time. I didn’t miss your point: I simply disagree with it. Let’s start with where we agree: your point that the analogy between your situation and someone being victimized outside of a relationship is not a perfect analogy is correct.

Unfortunately it’s also irrelevant here. The point Charles Martel, Paigu and I made is that having sexual contact with a Mother-Daughter duo was ITSELF the dangerous part. So while the analogy between a drunk slut in a miniskirt being stranger-raped and you being FRA’d by women who were (for a while) willing participants is not a perfect analogy, the main point still stands – you deliberately put yourself in a high-risk situation. To go forward with your analogy, the relationship itself is the mini-skirt.

Again, what they did to you was unambiguously wrong, but like I wrote earlier, a bad outcome here was about as predictable as the sunrise. Your particular bad outcome just happened to be the nightmare scenario.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 3
Skadi February 18, 2011 at 10:52

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 49
The Private Man February 18, 2011 at 10:56

The author of this article is completely correct when he talks about being consistently ruthless with the block feature when doing the online dating thing. Sadly, he’s also completely correct about the high percentage of crazy and infected women doing online dating. It’s shockingly high.

It’s all about having a consistent process.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 0
NMH February 18, 2011 at 11:02

In my mid 40′s, and I dated (went out 1 to 3 times) about 25-30 different women that I met on-line before I met one that was relatively “normal” and am currently in a relationship with. And this was after I screened out the fatties, which comprise 80% of on line daters

To meet 30 different women is too much work, so I approached it very passively with meeting about one girl a month; therefore, I met a good one after 4 years of looking. I consider myself lucky.

This article engages in way too much jargon and is too far off the mainstream (kinky sex sites) to be useful. In the USA, you are simply not going to get hot kinky sex from a sexy woman who is sweet, feminine, and honest. Period paragraph. You have a choice: hot kinky sex from a caustic bitch, or mundane sex from a reasonably feminine woman, if you’re lucky to find a sexually attractive woman at all.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 23 Thumb down 1
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 11:04

@ Lyn87

You have an unspoken but quite obvious assumption that (the triangle being me (A) mum (B) daughter (C)) that in this little triangle, A, being the male, was the driving force.

I see this time and time again, the females are free from all agency, only the males involved are held responsible.

In my case A was not the instigator, A was the pursued, B & C were in constant competition for A for many years.

Frankly, REFUSING such determined and sustained advances can be more dangerous than giving in to them…

another aspect of the mangina mirror, that the male is the only agent.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 10 Thumb down 2
Anonymous Reader February 18, 2011 at 11:04

AfoR
let’s call a spade a spade, ___I___ was ___FUCKING___ stupid too.

Bingo.

does that mean I deserved it?

What does “not saying you deserved it” mean? Try reading all of a post before replying.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 3
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 11:22

AfOR,

Now you’re just being silly.

“You have an unspoken but quite obvious assumption that (the triangle being me (A) mum (B) daughter (C)) that in this little triangle, A, being the male, was the driving force.”

I’m not sure how that could be obvious since I didn’t write that and I don’t even think it. I’m sure all three of you were competent adults capable of moral free-agency, and each of you, like everyone, is solely responsible for his/her actions.

“I see this time and time again, the females are free from all agency, only the males involved are held responsible.”

You’re tilting at windmills. I emphatically said you were unjustly victimized by these women, and that women who make FRA’s should be flayed alive. What more could I say to prove my point?

“In my case A was not the instigator, A was the pursued, B & C were in constant competition for A for many years.”

If you thought that was relevant you might have put that in the article instead of waiting to now to spring it. It doesn’t invalidate my point, though. Screwing a mother and her daughter is reckless, and the fact that, “THEY knew about each other, and it didn’t bother either of them” (your words) should have been reason to exercise MORE caution rather than less.

“Frankly, REFUSING such determined and sustained advances can be more dangerous than giving in to them…”

Let me get this straight: you’re saying that getting out a bad situation, or better yet, not getting into it in the first place, is MORE dangerous than screwing two women who had a life-long blood relationship with some sort of weird sexual competition?

“another aspect of the mangina mirror, that the male is the only agent.”

Well, since I put the entire blame on them and advocated ruthless punishment for FRAs, whereas I only pointed out your poor judgment in getting into a situation where a bad outcome was a virtual certainty, it seems calling me a mangina (L-O-L, by the way) would be misplaced anger.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 6
Paul February 18, 2011 at 11:23

Might be my background, but I tend to lack sympathy for people who complain about being victims when they lack “clean hands”.

It is sort of like when a woman chooses to hang around a druggie meth dealer and then complain that she is abused and a victim. No, it does not excuse the abuse, but it is hard for me to feel much sympathy for her plight.

But, yeah, hanging around a woman who is willing to have a threesome with her daughter and you is probably a red flag.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 23 Thumb down 1
aharon February 18, 2011 at 11:31

A double false-rape charge for doing a mother and daughter separately??? I’m sure that I read about this case someone though I have no idea what the source was.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 11:32

Lyn87, forgive me if I appear to be having a go, or suffering from misplaced anger.

I’m just attempting to prod you gently with some facts and hope that you will choose to view things from the new perspective that gives you, and see if that changes anything.

The False Rape Society website is replete with stories of men falsely accused because they refused to accede to a woman’s demands.

Just because I was born with a penis does not mean that I can not be pressured, coerced and manipulated into engaging in sexual activity… the staple argument for women as victims in the patriarchy… perhaps the real truth is that there is a matriarchy, and all the dis empowerment attributed to women is in fact the lot of men, not of women.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 1
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 11:33

@ paul

not a threesome… a triangle

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 1
Doug1 February 18, 2011 at 11:44

How had was it to get out of this FRA?

Did the police arrest you or just question you? Did your name get in the papers or other media?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 11:45

Something just glitched and I have to reproduce my response from memory. My apologies if this comes up a double-post.

@ AfOR,

Now you’re just being silly.

“You have an unspoken but quite obvious assumption that (the triangle being me (A) mum (B) daughter (C)) that in this little triangle, A, being the male, was the driving force.”

I’m not sure how that could be obvious since I didn’t write that and I don’t even think it. I’m sure you were all capable of making your own decisions. Like all adults, we are all free moral agents and responsible for our individual actions.

“I see this time and time again, the females are free from all agency, only the males involved are held responsible.”

Frankly I have no idea where you got the idea that I don’t hold the women responsible for falsely accusing you, or that I consider you responsible for being falsely accused. Quite the opposite, in fact, as is clear from what I wrote. You’re guilty of poor judgment, not rape.

“In my case A was not the instigator, A was the pursued, B & C were in constant competition for A for many years.”

If you thought that was important you should have put it into the original article rather than waiting until now to spring it. It doesn’t invalidate my point, though. Having sex with a mother and her daughter who are in some sort of weird sexual competition with each other is inherently fraught with danger. Furthermore, “the facts are THEY knew about each other, and it didn’t bother either of them, at the time” (your words) should have been reason to exercise more caution rather than less.

“Frankly, REFUSING such determined and sustained advances can be more dangerous than giving in to them…”

Let me get this straight: you’re saying that getting out a situation that will almost certainly turn out badly or, better yet, not getting into it in the first place, is MORE dangerous than just diving it?

“another aspect of the mangina mirror, that the male is the only agent.”

Well, since I placed the entire blame for the FRA on them, and merely pointed out your poor judgment in involving yourself in a situation where a bad outcome was a virtual certainty, calling me a mangina (L-O-L!, by the way), seems to be misplaced anger.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 4
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 11:50

Oh crap… it did come up a double post. Anyway, I see your response to the one I made at 11:22.

I’m in total agreement that the women involved behaved despicably and criminally. I think we’re close to the point of being “in violent agreement” with each other.

I’m familiar with the False Rape Society. As I noted before, my bother got hit with this from his ex-wife, so I’m very sympathetic to your plight.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 2
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 11:54

@ Lyn87

Agreed, it just came to me that my participating in this thread is an attempt to invigorate it, and steer it away from AOL me too…

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0
Migu February 18, 2011 at 11:56

“”MGTOW and your right hand may be one way to go, but frankly it’s a poor substitute as far as I am concerned, I’m not dead yet and I like female flesh too much to give it up completely.””

Carry on, Carry on. I love the spectacle of the PUA. I use to be one. It amazes me to no end how I was just a mangina getting laid.

You gotta new plan. It won’t happen next time. You’ve refined it perfectly. Like the socialists. If only we have the “right” kind of socialism.

Hopefully you aren’t writing you next post from Bubba’s smuggled smartphone.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 0
Paul February 18, 2011 at 12:07

@AfOR

Oh. What if they both got pregnant and had boys? If you should marry the daughter that would mean one son would also be your uncle. (These Jerry Springer scenarios always confuse me.)

I guess what I don’t understand is the following:

1) You want a society in which you can have sex with a mother and a daughter at the same time

2) You want a civilization that is based on justice and the rule of Law.

My guess (based on 10,000 years of human civilization) is that the two are mutually exclusive for a variety of reasons.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 0
BobS February 18, 2011 at 12:11

This whole story just reeks of trailer park, which in my eyes, has brought the quality of The Spearhead way down.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 25 Thumb down 7
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 12:25

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 49
Denis February 18, 2011 at 12:33

I think this is a great post with some wonderful advice.
Ghosting really isn’t a viable option for many men.

Personally, I always insist on friends first and avoid traditional “dating”.

The good ones are 1 in a 100.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 9 Thumb down 4
Denis February 18, 2011 at 12:34

@paigeu, Game is the same thing that women play. Now men are getting smarter and having higher standards.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 18 Thumb down 3
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 12:46

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 41
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 13:32

@ Paigeu
“6. I have seen rape victims lose their family because the rapist was a family member and the entire family picked sides.”

You’re trying too tell me that you know of instances (plural, “victims”) where the family members have sided with the convicted rapist and shunned the victim for reporting it?

please answer specifically.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 19 Thumb down 0
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 13:38

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 34
Anonymous February 18, 2011 at 13:44

The Infection, which we can guard against and counter to a certain extent by running bulk dating screening operations and blocking women’s profiles at the first hint of The Tell.

True but that means we need to help the ones that will listen or come to us (counter) and not give one inch to the The Infected or The Tell. Never back down, never surrender.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1
AfOR February 18, 2011 at 13:59

@ paigeu

While I have, partly for the purpose of playing devils advocate, and partly for the sake of privacy, used a certain amount of artistic licence in the original story, and my posts following up, I must say this.

I can best describe my reaction to your response as suddenly becoming aware of the “uncanny valley” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley) in that I simply cannot conceive of a single family consisting of people who would side with either one rapist on two separate occasions or two separate rapists.

Does not compute.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 0
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 14:24

After reading “Hello, I Am Fat” by Lindy West and the responses on Spearhead I felt compelled to go work out. Now that I’m back I’d like to dispute something Paigeu wrote at 12:25:

“Whether it is the woman teasing a man but withholding gratification or a man leaving a “conquered” woman feeling used…the end result is a severely bruised ego.”

While that statement is true it completely misses the point. The reason websites like this and “False Rape Society” exist is that when a woman teases a man and then withholds gratification he and his bruised ego take a cold shower. When a woman feels used by a man she voluntarily slept with she can destroy his life.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 14 Thumb down 3
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 14:34

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 36
greyghost February 18, 2011 at 14:35

Playing a little devils advocate here

*
Fuck you piggy

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 30 Thumb down 3
greyghost February 18, 2011 at 14:41

As you fellas can see paigeu doesn’t give a damn about men and their trivial problems. These are the women that need large amouts of indifference. She is also trying to and has succeeded in derailing the article and converstion into a debate about who suffers more. A woman will always suffer more to paigue fellas.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 39 Thumb down 4
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 14:52

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 38
greyghost February 18, 2011 at 15:20

That answer is bullshit and you know it

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 36 Thumb down 4
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 15:22

@ Paigeu,

I suspect you may end up in trollville at some point, but since you’re attempting to make a counter-argument to me without name-calling I’ll respond in kind. You said, “You are taking it out of context. I was comparing rape to FRA’s. I wasn’t saying FRA’s are an acceptable solution to feeling victimized.”

If that is what you had said I wouldn’t have rebutted it. Nobody here would have. What you WERE comparing was the outcome of a bad male/female encounter and asserting that they were the same: “a severely bruised ego.” My point stands: if the man in YOUR scenario has a bad outcome he gets a bruised ego. If the woman in YOUR scenario has a bad outcome she and her bruised ego can destroy the guy’s life. If there’s a fault with my analysis it rests with you creating an example that supports my point and undermines yours.

For what it’s worth, I’m new here but I’ve already noticed that you get heavily downvoted almost every time you post, no matter what you say. Perhaps if you didn’t minimize the legitimate grievances of men so often fewer guys would go for the “thumbs down” button by reflex when they see your name on a post.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 31 Thumb down 2
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 15:47

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 36
TomJW February 18, 2011 at 16:49

greyghost February 18, 2011 at 15:20
That answer is bullshit and you know it

Why do you read and respond to her crap?

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 29 Thumb down 2
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 17:11

@ Paigeu

Fair question. The reason I said you might get banished to Trollville (which is in the “Forum” section) is because you tend to write tangential posts, you show remarkable lack of empathy for the real issues a lot of guys here have faced, and you’re occasionally snarky.

Now snarkiness by itself is not a big deal: everybody unleashes the inner snark once in a while, but you sometimes do it while trivializing the issue under consideration. If one of us went to a feminist site and it was one of the few that didn’t auto-ban different viewpoints, making a single snarky remark to a rape victim telling her story would result in immediate expulsion.

Now that’s out of the way: I’m not going to fence with you about who-said-what-to-whom-in-response-to-what. You wrote what you wrote, without caveat, and I raised the flag on it. If that’s not what you MEANT it’s incumbent on you to write more clearly. I have a masters degree, but it’s not in female internet mind-reading.

Since you keep bringing it up: we all agree rape is bad. I doubt you’ll find anyone here who advocates rape, or thinks it isn’t a terrible crime. We were all born of women. We have wives, sisters, girl-friends, cousins, friends, etc. that we don’t want to see raped. Some of us would put ourselves into extreme jeopardy to save such women. WE-GET-IT. Can we move on from that?

I’m not suggesting you troll for popularity, either: your viewpoints are your own and you can express them. But when a lot of smart, articulate guys disagree with almost everything you write, a more introspective person might do a little more soul-searching. The fact that you are a regular on this site and can post here AT ALL, as a woman with a frequently contrarian viewpoint, and still get mostly reasoned, respectful responses should tell you something…

What should it tell you? I won’t be one of those who says it should tell you to, “Make me sammich and meet me in bed!” but I will be the one to say you don’t seem to have a firm grasp on what matriarchal cultural hegemony does to men and boys.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 2
Coastal February 18, 2011 at 17:34

Surely the key difference is this: a rapist is an outcast in male society, even to the point where they have to be segregated in prisons from the ‘Ordinary Decent Criminals’. Meanwhile, the average will explain why a False Rape Accusation is obviously a ‘bad’ thing BUT….

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 0
continent February 18, 2011 at 17:36

BobS February 18, 2011 at 12:11
This whole story just reeks of trailer park, which in my eyes, has brought the quality of The Spearhead way down.

Like or Dislike: 4 4

.Wondering why voting for your comment goes up to 7 and then drops back to 4-4?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2
Christopher February 18, 2011 at 17:43

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 28
greyghost February 18, 2011 at 17:50

my answer to TomJW’s question.

greyghost February 18, 2011 at 15:20
That answer is bullshit and you know it

Why do you read and respond to her crap?

Not really talking to her per say. Women are allowed to post here but they don’t make the rules on replies here. What paigeu is doing is the old ploy of minimizing the comversation men are having on FRA by making it realitive to being raped. She is running the equality game trying to sound like she is intelligent and fair. Look at this shit here as an example….

I care about the truth…and the truth is that the perspectives are not always balanced here anymore than they are on a feminist site

Whats with this balanced shit. We are talking about FRA for a man that likes regualar pussy and now we get to be shamed into moral equivalence because women feel pain too when raped. Two different subjects total bullshit. Gotta stand up and let the fellas that feel something is wrong but can’t quit put a finger on it see what I see. This is more bullshit here too …..

My whole response was to Novaseeker at 10:24…who was responding to my original post at 9:52. The context was him saying that Rape and FRAs are apples and oranges. I was pointing out the power dynamic as a source of similarity between the two.

Power dynamic huh, this mud doesn’t stick to the walls here. She was already informed that it is an apples and oranges arguement but is still on the moral equivalent shit. This is how women think. This is why you don’t debate or argue a point with a woman. Women do not have the capacity to give a damn about any body. Young men and newly ariving men need to see this and learn to understand this about women in general.
Paigeu opend up commenting on the subject with the effects rape has on a woman with the equivalence of the effects of false rape claim has on men. She was setting up a false premise to start a conversation and debate derailing the real topic and decussion the article brings. I did not want to let it go. And you know what no man man needs to ever just let it go.
I hope that answers your question.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 24 Thumb down 3
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 18:20

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 34
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 18:29

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 35
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 19:06

@ Paigeu,

I’m going to partially agree with you here. I realize you try to “balance things out a bit” if I may paraphrase you. And I’ll concede your point that a few of the guys go farther than I would – your example from the other article is valid. We’re guys from varied backgrounds and guys don’t always agree.

Here’s the point I’m not sure you’re getting, though: this is a male space. You know that, but you don’t understand the full implications of it. This isn’t MY website and I’m a guest just like you and the other posters, but as a female there’s an additional, unspoken, requirement on you (like a social convention), to not twist the knife. That’s why Charles Martel got upvoted at 09:43 and you got downvoted nine minutes later for making a similar point. But go back and look at the difference in how the two of you phrased it: Charles said the author’s plight was enabled by his poor judgment while you made a similar point, but IN RELATION TO WHAT WOMEN FACE.

I’ll wait while you go read the two posts…

See the difference? I take it you were trying to make the point in a way that made sense to you as a woman, but it came across as “women have it bad too.”

I’m not telling you to muzzle yourself: you can express disagreement without running afoul of unadulterated scorn. But understand that you being here is sort of like what one of us would face posting on a fem site. (The only difference is that we would almost certainly be insta-banned.) Things that you could say on those sites that might elicit a rebuttal would result in me as a man being rudely insulted and blocked. Is that fair? I dunno’; I don’t make the rules or veto anyone’s posts. What matters is that a lot of guys here have experienced terrible pain at the hands of individual women, often with the help of the legal system our taxes pay for. For a woman to come here means she has to mind her p’s and q’s in ways a man might not. Maybe most important for you is to stop linking the suffering of the men here to what women suffer. We KNOW women suffer too – all we have to do is turn on a TV or go to the internet to be bombarded with stories of the suffering of women. We’re ALL humans, and all humans suffer. Got it – but this isn’t the place for that.

I don’t think an objective reader would conclude I was shaming you. I simply think you don’t understand how men think and collude. It’s not your fault – men and women even have structural differences in our brains – but it does mean you’re a bit of a fish out of water. Don’t feel bad about that, my thinking is VERY different than that of most people, to the point where most psychological tests on me give meaningless results. In a way I admire your tenacity here. I personally don’t think you’re “over-the-top,” (although you may be over your head in the sense of having different though patterns) and I think you genuinely want to understand. For the sake of your sons AND daughters I hope I’m right.

You do seem like something of a glutton for punishment though.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 3
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 19:10

@ Paigeu,

I replied to your post in a non-shaming manner but I fat-fingered my e-mail address so it’s waiting on the moderator to pass on it. It should be up shortly.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 19:27

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 32
Paradoxotaur February 18, 2011 at 19:28

@Greyghost: “Paigeu opend up commenting on the subject with the effects rape has on a woman”

Of the kajillions of women I know, I only know of one who has been raped: college-age virgin, holiday in Switzerland, invited by Swiss guys to a party, gets smashed, passes out and wakes up with the handsome and exotic host on/in her. Decides she might as well enjoy it, since it’s her first time- and goes for it. Didn’t seem so traumatic to hear her tell of it. But what do I know? Well, besides that the only woman I know who was ever raped admitted that she enjoyed it.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 20 Thumb down 5
Lyn87 February 18, 2011 at 20:05

@ Paigeu,

Last post for the night.

“Many of the men here are extremely mean to the other men. Notice how they treated a man who showed a preference for BBW’s in the fat women thread.”

Yep. Guys are like that. It’s part of the jockeying we ALWAYS do in groups. Most of us don’t take it personally. If you notice, the author and I locked horns for a few posts and worked it all out. No blood, no foul.

“Also- many MRA’s have a more intense dislike for “manginas” than they do for women .”

True again. Manginas choose to be that way. Women can’t help being women (not that that’s always bad – most of us like women, or at least some of them). I don’t think that’s a guy thing though; even most religions treat heretics more harshly than infidels.

“I would say that these two facts influences my lack of gentility…it certainly doesn’t seem that I am breaking up a brotherhood when some of the back-biting can be so vicious. Not to say you don’t make a good point..I just wanted to explain where I am coming from.”

Point taken, but you should know that if a man busts on another man we usually know it’s part of the rack-and-stack we do among ourselves. When a woman does it to a man it doesn’t mean the same thing at the primal level. By the way, how do you grab quotes when you respond? I haven’t figured out how to do that other than cut-&-paste.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 3
paigeu February 18, 2011 at 20:31

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 34
fmz February 18, 2011 at 20:46

“if you toss 5 heads in a row the probability of a 6th head is still 1 in 2″

Your math is out.

The probability of a 6th head is far lower than the NEXT outcome being 50/50, on ANY chance. The odds of getting an even chance repeater six times in a row is… do da math.

Either your system is flawed, your betting strategy is not cutting it or you are not applying either correctly.

Good to see you are a gambler who reviews losing streaks and attempts to correct operating mode.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 7
fmz February 19, 2011 at 00:12

To the trolls and those that buy in… down votes from me, every chance l get.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1
Snark February 19, 2011 at 02:20

Great article, AfOR. Always good to see you writing.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 1
Gunn February 19, 2011 at 05:38

fmz wrote

“if you toss 5 heads in a row the probability of a 6th head is still 1 in 2?. Your math is out. The probability of a 6th head is far lower than the NEXT outcome being 50/50, on ANY chance. The odds of getting an even chance repeater six times in a row is… do da math.

Actually, you’re wrong; probability theory would say that the chance is still 1 in 2 based on independence of rolls.

In reality, the chance of a 6th head is actually likely to be higher than 1 in 2; if you see 5 heads, you probably start to suspect a weighted coin, raising your belief that the next toss will be heads as well.

How does this apply to the OP? Well, the 1 in 10 the author states is a blanket probability; if you’re finding yourself in relationships that seem to veer wrong at higher than that rate, its likely you haven’t factored in some other variable to your thinking. In other words, you’re seeking out the wrong women. Unfortunately, as the readers of this site know only too well, the NAWALT argument is often brought up, with the irony being of course that the few women that aren’t like that prove the rule by exception. As such, I question the idea its only 1 in 10; I suspect its much higher in practice these days, particularly with young to middle aged women.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 1
Jay Hammers February 19, 2011 at 05:55

Your odds of any woman being Class B are always 10%. But if you asked the question, what are my odds of at least one of the next 4 women I end up with being a Class B, you can calculate this in the following way.

Find the probability of all 4 women NOT being Class B, then subtract this number from 100%. That tells you your odds of at least one, but maybe more, being Class B.

So the probability of an individual woman NOT being Class B is 90%. The probably of two consecutive women NOT being Class B is 90% * 90%. Three is 90% * 90% * 90%. Etc.

So (0.9)^4 = .9*.9*.9*.9 = 0.6561 or 65.6%. Subtract this from 100% and you get 34.4% as your odds of AT LEAST one of these 4 women being Class B.

Now if you met 5 women, 1 – (0.9)^5 = .4095 or about 41%.

10 women, 65%.

20 women, 88%.

30 women, 96%.

Etc.

(I like math.)

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 0
Jay Hammers February 19, 2011 at 06:24

“The good ones are 1 in a 100.”

True, Denis.

And if you gave 100 women a chance, and the chance of any individual one of them being “good” is 1%, then the chance that at least one of these women will be “good” is only 63% (1 – .99^100).

Want to calculate how many women you’d need to give a chance to have a 90% probability of meeting at least one that was good? 229.

1 – .99^x = .9
-.99^x = -.1
.99^x = .1
x*log(.99) = log(.1)
x = log(.1)/log(.99)
x = 229.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 0
Jay Hammers February 19, 2011 at 06:29

You have a choice: hot kinky sex from a caustic bitch, or mundane sex from a reasonably feminine woman, if you’re lucky to find a sexually attractive woman at all.

You can get somewhat kinky sex from a good girl, but it won’t be *that* kinky or *that* often. There are still some girls out there who will stick with one guy their entire lives – if you manage to get one when she’s a virgin like I did, she’ll do just about anything you want, up to a point. And if you seem high enough status to her and she was brought up decently, the idea of another man’s dong in her will disgust her. She’s very unlikely to stray.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 2
Lyn87 February 19, 2011 at 07:07

@ Jay Hammers,

You. Are. A. Jedi. Your posts this morning are spot-on, although the “up to a point” varies widely between individual women. I was still in bed when you explained the math or I probably would have put up the same equations myself, although I had forgotten how to calculate the number of tries needed to attain a particular likelihood, which I now have to go look up – thanks a lot. (If more people understood how to calculate probability they would make a lot fewer mistakes in life).

@ Paigeu,

You did it again. I’m TRYING to work with you, but.. yikes, woman. I said one reason you were probably getting downvoted so often was that you frequently respond to the problems men face with something about the problems women face. My last few posts have generated a few downvotes too, and I suspect it’s from guys who don’t think women are worth talking to at all – at least here. I don’t concur so I’ll hang in there for while longer because I don’t think you’re a troll, but you still demonstrate that you don’t get it. For example:

Earlier I wrote, “That’s why Charles Martel got upvoted at 09:43 and you got downvoted nine minutes later for making a similar point. But go back and look at the difference in how the two of you phrased it: … you made a similar point, but IN RELATION TO WHAT WOMEN FACE.”

Yet on your most recent post after I said, ” you should know that if a man busts on another man we usually know it’s part of the rack-and-stack we do among ourselves. When a woman does it to a man it doesn’t mean the same thing at the primal level.”

You responded with,

“This reminds me of a quote-

A man has to be Joe McCarthy to be called ruthless. All a woman has to do is put you on hold.” -Marlo Thomas

I realize it was an attempt at humor, but it boils down to this: I essentially said, “It’s DIFFERENT for women” and you responded with “It’s HARDER for women.” Immediately you get a lot of downvotes, including from me. You may not care about downvotes, but understand that a lot of them indicates people aren’t taking you seriously. And Marlo Thomas is not a good person to quote here. In the 80′s she was a notorious feminazi married to that famous uber-mangina Phil Donahue. What’s more, the sentiment behind the quote is B.S.: men have to be competitive in ways women generally do not. It would be more accurate to say, “A man has to buy a diamond the size of a baseball to be thought of as loving. All a woman has to do is smile.”

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 1
paigeu February 19, 2011 at 07:33

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 4 Thumb down 25
AfOR February 19, 2011 at 09:10

@ Jay
“Want to calculate how many women you’d need to give a chance to have a 90% probability of meeting at least one that was good? 229.”

Bless you, now I have mathematical proof that I am not a male slut, just on a noble quest….. lmfao

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 2
greyghost February 19, 2011 at 14:33

Outstanding article AFOR

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 3
Doug1 February 19, 2011 at 15:52

Paigeu

I originally asked whether it was reasonable to blame a victim for rape and not blame a victim for an FRA if their actions set them up for the crime against them. I wanted to see how the double standard was defended by those who defend it. You emoted your disgust several times but you haven’t added to the dialog…I guess because you believe that talking to a female is a pointless activity. I accept that this is the opinion of many of the men here.

I think on average false rape accusations are far more traumatizing to the men who suffer them than the average rape is to women, particularly the average date rape. At least I think they are if the FRA are believed by police or college administrators, the guy’s name is made public as a named rapist who victimized the victim, and he’s arrested and throw in jail, has to hire an attorney and make bail, and most importantly of all, has his social, sexual and career reputation deeply, horribly trashed, regardless of his prior status. That’s because among other things feminist and the heavily feminist media have propagandized the public to believe the woman and not the “rapist”.

In contrast women who claim to have been raped don’t have their reputations trashed, at least not in liberal and centrist America. Their status goes up as a poor, brave victims. They’re believed and congratulated for fight for women, and offered support at every turn. Any bf or husband that gives her any problems for not having been more careful etc., or worse feels she’s now sullied, is ruthlessly demonized by the forces of the left, and now center and much of the right as well.

Though there’s rarely any longer any public trauma at admitting being raped, there is the direct personal trauma of the woman’s having her sexual autonomy ripped from her. In a few, but not many rapes, there’s real physical violence as well.

However, I think it’s clear however much feminists hate this, that some rapes with some rape victims are much more traumatic than others. In general I don’t think many date rapes if the girl isn’t a virgin or damn close to it are really very traumatic at all. I think that’s feminist bs. The violent stranger rape of a virgin who believes it’s important to remain that until marriage for religious social (finding the right kid of husband and been highly regarded in her community) as well as personal moral conviction reasons, is I think undoubtedly almost always way more traumatic than the technical date rape of a slut with 50 prior partners. What I mean by technical is ok, she did say no at the last minute, but she was sexually and partner material attracted to the guy at the time, did all kinds of sexual things with him, got naked or almost entirely so, but at the last minute decided she’d better say no and make him wait until the 2nd or third date so as to appear more of a good girl. He screws her despite her nos, and that’s either recorded or he admits it, etc. She calls it rape when she’s pissed that he doesn’t ask her out again. No I don’t think that kind of “rape”, or the passed out drunk kind but she’d been sexual w/him all right, are either very serious “rapes” at all, nor very traumatic at all to the girl.

I contrast if she lies about being passed out or saying no and calls makes a FRA because she’s pissed at him, yeah that about always is a very serious injury to the man.

I’m genuinely interested in your response to this.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 5 Thumb down 2
Doug1 February 19, 2011 at 15:56

Paigeu–

I think 60 and certainly 75 years ago it was the other way round.

That’s because women claiming to have been raped by men of good reputations generally weren’t believed, were often considered sullied goods and lose women afterwards, were considered at least partially responsible for their rape in most circumstances even if it was true, and were all in all the ones who had their reputations trashed even if the man was convicted, except in the most good, innocent girl kind of situations. Well if the man was convicted his would be too, but then it wasn’t a false rape accusation, most likely, especially back then.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
paigeu February 19, 2011 at 16:32

Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 24
fmz February 19, 2011 at 20:36

The probability of 6 even chance repeaters in a row is 50% to the power of 6.

Each roll is a new roll and as such EACH roll, in and of itself has a fixed probability. Which is a different premise to a sequence of repeaters.

You can make the even chance bet on every roll and its always an even chance. You cannot make an even chance bet on a sequence of repeaters at the beginning and maintain the initial probability.

In any event, the context in which the author has invoked the probability theory is out of wack. If he guesses wrong x times in a row, then its the cumulative of the probabilities that he will guess x times in a row. He attempts to separate out the probability of each decision whilst contemplating the probability of a sequence of decisions.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0
migu February 20, 2011 at 04:12

Bayes therom. It is the only probability therom that is consistently accurate.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 1
Doug1 February 20, 2011 at 06:17

Paigeu–

not to mention terrified of pregnancy because I am extremely pro-life ….it would result in a lot more than just a trip to the clinic.

There’s plan B. And the odds of pregnancy from a single act of intercourse are very low.

I’m not saying date rape, when it’s real, is OK. I’m just saying I don’t think it compares to having your reputation utterly trashed socially, sexually and career wise, by a false rape accusation.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 1
Doug1 February 20, 2011 at 06:21

I think it’s absolutely outrageous that false rape accusations aren’t usually prosecuted even when it’s clear it was false, and when it is and there’s a conviction it’s to some minor misdemeanor offense such as “making a false police report”.

FRAs trash the reputation of the male victim in a way that a false accusation of shoplifting, or assault on another man doesn’t.

It should be a separate and serious crime punished commensurate with the damage suffered by the male victim.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 3 Thumb down 0
Type 5 February 20, 2011 at 06:54

Novaseeker: unless you are claiming that most promiscuous sexual encounters are “baiting” women to accuse the men of rape, as in it’s a predictable, natural reaction, it’s an intensely visceral mpulse they must work hard to restrain lest they give in to the impulse and just cry “RAPE!!!!!” as every cell in their body is screaming at them to do.

Is it like that for women in terms of rape accusations?

They certainly know that an FRA is an easy option with the rewards of plenty of sympathy for them and payback for whatever slights they may imagine the man has inflicted on them. Knowing the character of your average promicuous woman, she may actually have every cell in her body screaming, “Lie about him! Ruin his life!”

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: