I have always been lucky when it came to picking up women, certainly if quantity is anything to go by. However I have had a couple of mis-fires when it comes to quality, and the last one resulted in me being the victim of a False Rape Accusation.
Being lucky means things come easy, and when things come easy you don’t pay attention, you just drift through the process enjoying it, but being lucky also means you end up playing the numbers game, and that means that it is only a question of time before you have a mis-fire.
I should also state for the record that as a heterosexual male, my only relationship experiences have been with women, perhaps men are the same, I wouldn’t know first hand, but I doubt it.
So, I hit my late forties and had a mis-fire and got a False Rape Accusation made against me, at that point I started to pay attention, and thanks to the internet and the usual web sites that you are all familiar with (False Rape Society, Shrink 4 Men, etc.) I started to study my own particular tragedy in some detail.
What I discovered is that everyone actually does tell the truth about themselves, if you listen.
I have often said “I’m stupid” in conversation, and I have also said “I’m smart”, the two are not mutually exclusive because the smart statement was made about my job / trade / skill set, and the stupid statement was made about the women I end up with.
When women say “I’m crazy” even if just quoting Norma Jean Baker, you really should listen.
If you had asked me about my ex before she made the False Rape Accusation I would have said “She’s a crazy bitch.” But I didn’t really listen to myself, not so much that I didn’t really mean it, more a case of it being one of those lines that comes from the sub-conscious, without heavy inflection of tones, without facial expression, without any kind of emphasis, so generally we do not pay a great deal of attention.
The sort of lines we should all be listening to.
I will refer to this as “The Tell”.
So anyway, the False Rape Accusation is made, I start studying, and it doesn’t take long for me to make a layman’s diagnosis of a Cluster B Personality Disorder in my ex, specifically Borderline Personality Disorder… she really was a crazy bitch.
So far this is just a story, history, literally, it is the past and nothing can be changed, but what I am going to talk about now is the future, and that can be very heavily altered and influenced by what we do now.
In my studies I discovered that Cluster B personality disorders are actually quite common, with some studies suggesting as much as 10% of the female population being Cluster B.
Since most of my relationships were wham-bam, I wasn’t around long enough to notice, which leaves me with the fairly average number of four women who I have co-habited with for one year or longer, statistically this would mean that if 10% of the female population is Cluster B, every time you meet a woman and get involved with her you stand a 1 in 10 chance of getting unlucky.
In my case getting involved to co-habiting level with four women raises that possibility from a 1 in 10 chance to a 4 in 10 chance.
Since I have no intention of swearing off pussy (I’m 50 an everything still works as well as it did 30 years ago, and I still have the same waistline etc.) this means the next one raises that to evens, but, like the flipped coin probability experiment (if you toss 5 heads in a row the probability of a 6th head is still 1 in 2) having hit the jackpot last time doesn’t reset the counter back to 1 in 10.
Without wishing to get into a discussion about statistics and probability, people are not dice or roulette wheels, the odds do not stay the same the longer you play.
While 1 in 10 women being at least slightly nuts may seem like acceptable odds when you are 15, by the time you get to 50, the mere fact that most of the decent women are still married to their first love means that the odds are skewed badly against you, because in effect the passage of time has acted like a filter, removing all the saner women from the mix.
In singleton society, the older you get, the greater the proportion of crazy women in the society.
I will refer to this as “The Infection”
Which brings me to internet dating sites, doncha just love em, when I was 18 I had a tee shirt that said;
TELL ME NOW BEFORE I WASTE $10 ON BEER
… and I had to buy that tee shirt, thanks to the internet dating is now free, and the market of potential mates is vastly expanded beyond anything limited by physical proximity as it was when we were kids.
Now there are basically two types of internet dating sites, the straight sex ones, and the kinky sex ones, and I have been making excellent use of both, and of course both are populated by the same crazy women, and let me tell you brothers, the girls on the straight sex sites are every bit as kinky as the ones on the kinky sex sites.
The only difference is, the ones on the kinky sex sites are more likely to put The Tell in their profile, some of the real crazy ones will put The Tell in three or four times in the one profile. You won’t see this, you will be concentrating on the bits where she says she likes to have cock rammed so far down her throat she gags, and the picture of her tied up…
There is of course a definite link between The Tell and The Infection, no matter how kinky you are, sooner or later you will come across a profile and sexual interests that will make you sit back and mutter “this bitch is fucking insane”, but you probably still won’t wake up and realise that you are not in Kansas anymore, after all, there are more profiles one click away, and de-sensitisation works just as well when you do it to yourself.
So you go back to the straight sex dating sites, and still, it doesn’t really matter what you say on your profile, or what your pictures look like, the levels of The Infection are still obtrusively high.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still half decent women out there, but the proportion of ore to spoil is always diminishing, and the only way to beat that is go get very mechanical, very efficient, and very cold blooded in your search process, you have to discard everything that contains even the merest hint of The Tell, because by the time The Tell is detectable the incubation period for The Infection has long since passed.
Well, I can hear you thinking, how about winding the clock back and going for the as yet virgin territories of the young females, after all, nothing in Game or anything else prohibits a 40 year old guy going with a 20 year old girl?
Well, I tried that too, and the crucial factor that I forgot was that old ticking clock, everyone and everything changes with time, and this means young girls who were delighted to go with an older guy when guys their own ages didn’t have decent cars or decent sexual abilities or decent intelligence and experience, turn into older girls who maybe ain’t so delighted any more, after all, their world knowledge of relationships was with you, and that was for them as easy as falling off a log, so how hard can it be to engage in a bit of hypergamy and trade up before THEY get to be 30??? Right??
Which is how in my case I found myself the target of two simultaneous False Rape Accusations.
Of course you can argue that I really should have known better than to fuck a mother and a daughter at the same time, but the facts are THEY knew about each other, and it didn’t bother either of them, at the time, until sufficient time passed and a bit of hypergamous trading up was required, in my case trading up to the most Alpha male providers of all time, the State.
If you catch yourself thinking “hey, he was ASKING for trouble.” Then maybe you want to look in the mangina mirror, was I really asking to be Falsely Accused of Rape? You think?
The reason I relate the above is as follows…
So while in theory I can beat the odds of the ever diminishing supply of decent available women by looking in the younger end of the market, before the good ones are grabbed, and while it certainly is possible to find one free of all traces of The Tell, your real problem, as mine was, lies with The Infection.
Even if you find a young one who is not infected, there is no immunity, The Infection could strike at any time, in fact the more time passes, the more likely it is, while for you being the older guy, you are squandering what you have.
The Tell is a warning sign, The Tell doesn’t kill you, steal your children, grab your house, live off your alimony, or make false accusations of domestic violence or sexual abuse against you.
The Infection is the killer, it will kill you, it will steal your children, it will grab your house, it will live off your alimony, it will make false accusations of violence and sexual abuse against you.
The Infection WILL DO THESE THINGS, it can’t help it, that is its nature… read Aesop’s tale of the scorpion and the frog.
The Tell is only visible after The Infection has passed the incubation period and entered its virulent phase.
The passage of time means that every man out there faces the same problem I do, ever increasing levels of The Infection, which we can guard against and counter to a certain extent by running bulk dating screening operations and blocking women’s profiles at the first hint of The Tell.
Accept that while overall maybe 10% of the female population have a Personality Disorder, the passage of time is a filter, so when you are talking about 25+ year old women on a dating site, it’s nearer 30%, 30+ year old women on a dating site, it’s nearer 50%, 35+ year old women on a dating site, it’s nearer 75%.
Kinky sex sites are all at least 10% worse in every category.
So, getting back to the original premise, do you feel lucky? Is there a bullet left in the spout?
Face facts, the odds aren’t good, and the older you get the worse the odds get. There is less and less ore per ton of rock.
The only way to beat this is adopt mass production techniques and instead of panning for ore by hand, in person, in realtime, to do it virtually, online, filter thousands of profiles and trash every one with The Tell, which will be the vast majority of them, and then start winnowing on what’s left, seeing if your single response / memo to their profile can induce The Tell (such as not wanting to exchange mobile numbers early in case you are a psycho stalker) and if it does, Block them.
Don’t ignore them, don’t politely brush them off, just click the BLOCK button and move on, you have thousands of tons of rock to sift before you find your first nugget. You don’t have the time to be polite, and they aren’t worth it anyway, it is wasted on The Infected.
Most of all, forget firm and tender young flesh if you are looking for a relationship, you can still get some of that stuff for the odd wham-bam (*do* keep archived records of all memos / texts and audio of the actual encounter) but as relationship material the mere fact of the age disparity is going to encourage others of The Infected to congregate around her and infect her.
Hell, I kept myself in shape, some women manage to get past 30 while keeping in shape without needing to resort to surgery or layers of make up and corsets, and pretty much by definition this is the kind of women you are looking for, The non-Infected.
In fact, the 10% or so on dating sites who do not show The Tell may just be second hand, much like a car, and you can get good used cars.
But of that 10% that do not show The Tell, expect at least 90% of them to be The Infected, in plain terms this means you have to treat 99% of women that might at first glance interest you as being toxic waste.
MGTOW and your right hand may be one way to go, but frankly it’s a poor substitute as far as I am concerned, I’m not dead yet and I like female flesh too much to give it up completely.
If you use the mass production filtering techniques there is still enough results that do not have The Tell to keep you in wham-bam often enough to keep you happy and smiling, and remember this is no meals, no drinks, no money, turn up and do me wham-bam and usually as kinky as you like as well.. I figure a strict daily regimen of 5 minutes in the morning checking out the new women joined, and a quick “Yo, how’s it goin’” pasted (Plenty of Fish is stopping pasted replies now, which tells you how many were doing it, male and female…) into those who do not exhibit The Tell in the profile itself, then another 10 minutes in the evening filtering the responses for “The Tell” and taking it to the second level filtering, can you provoke a The Tell response or any signs of The Infection, those that pass that hit them with your mobile number and a suggestion to meet for coffee within 48 hours, one shot, one chance.
You *need* a decent mobile phone, and you *need* to set rules that apply to all, e.g. meet for coffee, maximum expenditure 1 buck, one chance, no excuses, act like you are a paid agent or pimp, you’ll get ten bucks every time you get the guy laid, but you have to pay him 20 for every flake you hook him up with… this is the attitude you need to filter successfully and improve your luck.
You *need* to record and document everything electronically, don’t just delete texts and call records after the event, even if it was a washout, back em up to an archive.. this is why you need a *decent* phone, more options.
You *must* use the BLOCK function, it is the only way in hell you have any hope of coping with the sheer numbers, the idea is to filter, filters are no good unless they are one way…
Can I still get access to the same sorts of pussy I could when I was 20?
Nope, short of winning the lottery and landing in Silvio Berlusconi territory, those days are gone, hope you exploited them for all they were worth, because they are gone now.
Does this mean my sex life is over or all downhill?
Hell, no, not if you learn to look for The Tell and The Infected and start playing the numbers game like a professional hobby, and go into mass production and put every single female within 50 miles through your refining process, do NOT pre-filter on “hey, she has a big nose and wears spectacles” because you could well be excluding a wham-bam with a great body… some of the nicest looking / feeling / tasting poon I have ever seen was attached to girls whose faces were a 2 on a good day. That wham-bam doesn’t just keep you together, it keeps your perspective straight, it stops you yearning like some pathetic 12 year old for true love…
In addition to the obvious such as Monroe quotes, any use of the word “crazy” anywhere in a profile, “soul mate” is a definite tell and definitely one of The Infected. “Shopping” is of course verboten, but any mention of “the girls” as in her female friends is also a classic sign of The Infected, much worse than a shopper.
Women who mention anywhere in the profile (words or pictures) foreign travel of any kind are also The Infected, and this also goes for any mention of a career and independence such as “my own business / home / car” these are huge red flags, the tie die surf boutique bought out of the proceeds of the last guy etc. isn’t going to bring in any living wage.
Any mention of how they have been hurt in the past, where are all the nice men, these are not The Tell, these are The Infected in pustulent, virulent, extreme contagion phase, these are not even wham-bam material, these are avoid like the plague material. Block instantly.
Any mention of how they are not looking for a father for the kids etc. Definite The Tell, if profile includes pictures of kids and their names then The Infected, if not then possible wham-bam material, then Block.