Caveat Amator

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by Featured Guest on October 14, 2010

Strategies for Men Before, During and After False Allegations

By Ken Kupstis

(DISCLAIMER: The Author is not a lawyer and the following information is not given as legal ADVICE, but to give readers ideas of possible legal avenues to research and pursue to redress their own grievances. The author assumes no responsibility for the results of the strategies herein…and is in fact ashamed he’s the only one who’s thought of them…K.K.)

It’s October 25, 2008. In the preceding days, the Nevada Review-Journal published a human interest story entitled “A Mother’s Struggle”. The story documented a local divorcee’s attempts to gain custody of her daughter, as she was convinced that her ex-husband was sexually abusing the child (Names withheld).

To her credit, the writer did list the facts in the case: that the divorcee had left the marriage while pregnant, and initiated the divorce; that her husband had passed a polygraph test; that she herself failed a polygraph test; that her husband had been investigated three times by the police, twice by court-ordered psychologists, and once by a private investigator—none of whom could discover any evidence of sexual abuse by the husband. The divorcee had also denied the husband’s court-ordered visitation rights and served 48 hours in jail for contempt of court. With only arguments, allegations and accusations, the divorcee continued to petition the courts. Finally her ex-husband gave up his paternal rights altogether by leaving the United States for his country of origin. The divorcee now has sole custody of her daughter, lives in her parent’s house, and is seemingly content. The conclusion of the writer infers that justice, although delayed, as apparently been served.

Still, the article remains titled “A Mother’s Struggle”.(1) While every actual fact exonerates the ex-husband, the specter of sexual abuse looms large in any reader’s mind, defeating the notion that the article could just as easily been entitled “A Father’s Struggle”.

Bear in mind, this is just one article.

Some months earlier, in the Osceola County Corrections Facility, a man in an orange jumpsuit confided to me that his wife had come home drunk at four in the morning. He said “Enough of this”, and immediately began packing his children’s clothes to take them to his parent’s house. His wife’s mother, who was on the premises, called the police and reported that he was hitting his wife.

The police came and summarily arrested him.

Since the passage of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) in the United States, a majority of states have created Mandatory Arrest Laws dealing with domestic disputes.

These laws oblige the investigating officers to make an arrest, and in the overwhelming majority of cases it is the man who is arrested.

Beyond domestic disputes, we have seen that in allegations of rape, the alleged rapist’s name quickly becomes a matter of public record, whereas Rape Shield laws guarantee anonymity to the accuser. Incredibly, the assistant Dean of student life at Vassar College has said that “Men who have been falsely accused of rape can benefit from the experience”. Meanwhile, investigations of rape cases within the United States Air Force revealed that 55% of rape charges were falsified. Reasons that were given for making the false rape charges ranged from covering up a pregnancy, to testing a husband’s love, to a reason for being late to work.

The Innocence Project, which uses DNA testing to free the wrongly imprisoned, has given 205 unjustly accused convicts their lives and freedom back. 204 of them were men.

If there is indeed still a ‘battle of the sexes’, then false accusations are its secret weapons. They pierce Constitutional Rights and freedoms, mangle due process, and shatter reputations, relationships and families. No witnesses are required, nor is physical evidence of a crime. As previously demonstrated, a mere phone call is enough to serve as ‘probable cause’ for search, seizure and arrest. The effectiveness of the false accusation lays in the perception of the heinousness of the accused crime: assault, battery, rape and/or sexual molestation of women and children almost universally brings emotion to tread roughshod over logic. (The reader comments of the Nevada Review-Journal story all vilified the accused father.)

While both sexes are able to use false accusations, victims in the overwhelming majority of cases are male. Men have even been victims of domestic abuse by their female partners, and have either been denied police protection or arrested themselves. It therefore behooves men to imagine worst-case scenarios, research legal precedents, and know their rights—while they last.

Not enough men are standing up for themselves. Far too many are shocked and cowed by false allegations, and the legal system is far too willing to take a woman’s word over a man’s (the prevailing logic being that the man is ‘bigger’ and therefore capable of more damage, even though he may have never harmed a fly). Truly law-abiding men remain ignorant of the legal process, thinking “It can’t happen to me”. When it does, policemen and court officials are more interested in telling a man what he can’t or shouldn’t do than what he can or should.

BEFORE A FALSE ACCUSATION:

Perhaps the best defense against false accusations would not to be giving anyone a reason to make one against you. In a just and perfect world, that would suffice. The phrase ‘Love Is Blind’ has a good deal of truth in it; when you’re in love, you may very well be blind to behaviors that could prove harmful to you in the future.

At Vassar College, a male student may have consensual sex with a female student—that night—and the next day, she can say she ‘felt bad about it, in retrospect’, and the male student can be charged with rape.

John Dias, creator of the website www.Don’tMakeHerMad.com, suggests using surveillance as proof of one’s innocence. There is a valid danger of legal ‘collateral damage’—surveillance of another person without their knowledge may constitute a crime in itself, but when used solely as a means of legal defense, it should be less

Prosecutable. There are hidden closed-circuit cameras and recording devices that can be placed throughout one’s home, or worn on one’s person (in the form of pens, watches, lapel pins and more).

BEFORE ALLOWING A WOMAN TO ENTER YOUR HOME…actually before allowing anyone to enter your home…hopefully you can answer one or more of these questions:

Do you know her FULL NAME? (Thousands of men have only needed to hear “Hi, I’m Bambi”, and it’s good enough for them.)

Have you seen her car, and its license plate number?

Is she employed? Do you know where she works?

Is she wearing a wedding ring? (Married women who indulge in extramarital affairs may seek to contact other men as patsies for false rape charges in the event of a pregnancy or venereal disease.)

BEFORE HAVING SEX WITH A WOMAN:

Is she SOBER? Very inebriated women may claim to want or even demand sex, but it may be wise to see if “that was the alcohol talking”.

Are you sober? Did you leave any of your drinks unattended, or consume any drinks that she bought for you that you didn’t see being made? (The origin of the term “Mickey Finn” comes from a bartender who enabled female thieves at his tavern to drug men’s drinks.)

Are you using Birth Control? Note that while she may claim to be using birth control, it does not automatically mean that she is…she may normally be on birth control but has forgotten to take it, or is experiencing a false period, or is using a form of birth control with a lower rate of effectiveness. Most of these factors have not legally excused men for having to pay child support, although they should.

Has she verbally consented to sex? It is better to ask “Do you want to make love?” and receive a positive response then to merely assume she’s consenting to sex via body language. Some colleges insist that males must receive verbal consent prior to intercourse, and any sex without it is non-consensual.

Does she display or claim enthusiasm for BDSM (bondage and sadomasochism) activities? As exciting as it may seem, do not permit a barely-known woman to handcuff you to anything (that you can’t break loose from on your own)!

Does she claim to ‘like it rough’? Even if so, that claim does not obligate you to play rough. No matter how insistent she may be, you should not bruise or break the skin.

During foreplay, or before or during coitus, does she ‘tense up’, act frightened or apprehensive? Does she cry? If so, she may have been previously raped or molested. Her sex drive still exists, but she may psychologically equate sex with pain, servitude or dishonor.

In any event, you should get to know a woman as well as you can, and think very hard, before A) giving her a key to your home, B) signing a lease with her, C) merging any financial assets into joint accounts.

BEFORE MOVING IN WITH A WOMAN:

Even if a woman has a place that puts the Taj Mahal to shame, and invites you to move in with her, remember that you are moving in with her. She can tell you to leave whenever she wants, so it is in your best interests to prove that you live there. When you contribute to the rent, ensure it is in the form of a check, and request your bank to furnish you with receipts. Signing a lease makes you legally liable for all rent payments through out the rental contract. You may wish to offer to ‘cover all utilities’ (And/or groceries) instead, which can provide proof of residence without making you liable for the rent.

Realize that once a woman has moved in with you, and made some contribution to the household…anything from rent payments to utilities or groceries, she may be able to legally claim “I live here”. As such, you may encounter difficulty having her legally removed from your domicile.

You should also ask her if she has any serious allergies, debilitating health issues, and how to contact her closest next of kin.

DURING A FALSE ACCUSATION:

Some women will often use the threat of a false accusation to achieve some desired goal…anything from changing your behavior to having you removed from your house.

Note that if she does threaten you in this manner: “I’ll tell the police you did such and such…” you will probably want to take steps to sever all ties with her. It may have been a heat-of-the-moment threat, but she can’t ‘un-make’ it, and she’ll realize that option will always remain open to her. Calmly reply to her threat with “If you do that, you leave me no choice but to charge you with Wanton Endangerment*, making a false police report, and sue you for defamation of character.”

(*You may wish to substitute Assault or Criminal Mischief for Wanton Endangerment. Assault is the threat of harm. Being taken from one’s home under threat of force, incarcerated, and forced to pay a bond should legally constitute harm. Wanton Endangerment is placing someone in harm’s way by proxy…i.e., someone who’s HIV positive is guilty of Wanton Endangerment when they don’t inform their sexual partners of their status.)

If your woman fights with you verbally, that can be grounds for Nuisance, especially if she’s loud enough to be overheard by neighbors. If she’s verbally goading or provoking you towards violence, tape it if possible, but walk away as soon as possible. Verbal provocation to fight—in conjunction with ‘fighting words’, insults with no redeeming Free Speech defense—is a form of disorderly conduct known as a fighting ruckus.

As unpalatable as it may be, imagine yourself accused of misdemeanor domestic battery, and the police have been summoned. The phone call alerting them serves as probable cause to enter any establishment. Note that in many areas, interference with such a phone call…disabling the phone, for instance…can constitute a felony in itself.

If the woman in the situation has in fact not been harmed, try to get a photograph of her (many cellular phones are equipped with cameras ideal for this situation). You may wish to hold up the day’s newspaper within part of the photo to prove the date, unless the camera ‘time-stamps’ its images.

See if any neighbors are nearby and within earshot. If so, you may wish to open the door and tell her she can leave, in a voice loud enough to be heard. Not that she must leave, but she can leave. If she does leave, you can make a good case for refusing to let the police enter your home without a warrant. However, if she does live at the place in question, she can give police her consent to enter or search the premises. The police can and probably will still try to gain entrance to your home to make an arrest, but you have a much better case for Unreasonable Search and Seizure.

If she refuses to leave, it may be in your best interest to leave the area, even if it’s your own domicile, before the police arrive. Take whatever you can with you; your wallet, house and car keys at the very least. Before leaving, inform your accuser that telling a police officer that you abused her when you didn’t warrants a criminal charge of making a false police report and will be grounds for a separate lawsuit of Slander. If she or the officers in question make a written statement accusing you of battery, there will be an additional lawsuit for Libel. This warning in itself may be enough to convince her to withdraw the accusation, but if the police are en route they will probably follow through with an investigation anyway.

Leaving the area, especially if it’s your own domicile, may be a nuisance, but it can give you time to take steps you would not be able to take if you were arrested: contacting employers, loved ones, attorneys, setting up alternate phone service or a post office box, transferring or securing bank accounts, getting a credit line increase, et cetera. If the police have an arrest warrant for you, the warrant must be “fresh”, or between three and ten days old. Misdemeanor warrants normally have to be served during the daytime—between 6 am and 10 pm.

It’s probably better not to call your home from a land line, as police technology can often triangulate your physical location from them. If you do call, assume the police are listening.

If the police do arrive before you can leave, be on your best behavior, although it normally goes without saying. Police need a warrant to arrest you at your home, but they do not need a warrant if they believe A) you have committed or are about to commit a crime, B) other people are about to get hurt, C) you’re about to destroy evidence or property, or D) there’s already a warrant out for your arrest. This obviously gives the police a lot of leeway.

Once the police begin asking questions, it is in fact an interrogation. Keep your voice audible, but calm and low. Memorize the time, the location, and the names and badge numbers of the officers. Police are looking for any evidence that a crime is committed, so even sarcasm will work against you (“Oh yeah, just look at her, I beat her to a pulp, that’s why she doesn’t have a hair out of place.”).

There is a possibility that, by communicating calmly and reasonably with the officers, you can convince them that the dispute is not or should not be treated as a domestic situation. This possibility is unfortunately slight. Flattery and bribery generally don’t work and should not be attempted. Apologies, however, have been known to work. “I’m sorry you were put to all this trouble, I know you’re just doing your jobs, but I really would rather not answer any questions without a lawyer present.”

Police will use a variety of techniques to gather evidence for a case. They can lie, and say they have evidence they actually don’t. One policeman may seem to be ‘gunning’ for your arrest, while their partner may seem friendly and say “we just want to hear your side of it”. A policeman may say “This happens all the time, and the judge will go easier on you if you confess.” (However, the policeman is most definitely not the judge.) They may threaten you with obstruction of justice if you don’t confess, but only the DA can charge you.

If you are arrested—and police do not have to use the term ‘arrest’—do not panic or resist arrest. You can ask the officer if he can simply issue you a citation. Regardless, remain as polite as possible; say only “I’m remaining silent, I want a lawyer.”

If you are in custody, and interrogated by police or different law enforcement official, and have been not been informed of your Miranda Rights (Right to remain silent), the police have acted improperly and your case can be thrown out. This only applies if the police take you into custody (a situation you feel not free to leave) and interrogate you, not either/or.

You should consider the idea of Malicious Arrest, where police know you are innocent and arrest you anyway. This may be difficult to prove, but if you have evidence of her false accusation (on audio or video), whereas she has no evidence to back up her accusation, it could have the foundations for a case. Consult your attorney.

Note that you are not legally entitled to ‘one phone call’. You are entitled to speak with a lawyer, and if you need a phone to contact one, you’ll be provided with access to a phone. If you don’t have a lawyer or know a lawyer’s phone number, call a friend or family member and ask them to contact a lawyer for you. Never assume that your phone call is private!

Some states will have an officer of the court called a pretrial officer that can enable you to pay a bond fee and be released on your own recognizance. If you can qualify for the bond and afford it, you’ll agree to appear in court, then be released.

While you are being processed, the police assisting your significant other will strongly suggest that she get an Injunction, or Temporary Restraining Order against you. The TRO can be processed immediately, and you will be notified in jail that a TRO has been issued against you. It succinctly states that you are not allowed to come within a certain distance—anywhere from 500 yards or more—of your significant other’s place of residence (even if it’s yours as well) or her workplace. Most TROs will also have a ‘no contact’ clause which considers any attempt at communication-phone calls, letters, e-mails, etc., a violation of the TRO. Communications through another person are considered ‘contact through a third party’ and may also represent a violation.

Defense lawyers in your area routinely check daily arrest records, and will offer their services via mailings as soon as your name appears. Ironically, the TRO may in most cases prevent you from receiving your mail.

This in itself may provide a grievance in your favor: in the case of a live-in girlfriend—not a wife—if you are restrained from accessing your own mail, and if she takes your mail from the mailbox, even just to save it for you, that may legally constitute Theft Of Mail, a Federal offense. Also, if a restraining order bans you from collecting your mail, you clearly cannot be ‘served’ court papers through the mail.

You will be given a hearing before a judge, hopefully within 48 hours. A public defender told this writer “The less you say to the judge, the better”. The judges in initial hearings may not even address you, but only hear statements from the attorney and prosecutor (sometimes over a closed-circuit TV system). The judge will set a bond (bail) amount and any other conditions for release. If you have a credit card among your personal effects, you can use it to bond yourself out if you have enough to cover the bond. In cases where you can’t afford the entire bond, you may call a bail bondsman who will cover 90% of the bond if you can pay 10% of it.

If you have been served with a TRO while in custody, do not attempt to return home on your own. If so, you can be charged with violation of the TRO and arrested all over again. With a police escort, you should be able to return home to get certain necessities. The TRO is temporary; generally lasting two weeks or until a court hearing to determine if the TRO should be permanent.

Note that some women have been known to use TROs ‘offensively’…that is, they will shop at stores they know you also shop at, in the interest of reporting that you violated the TRO. If you see this occurring, immediately leave the area. Contact the venue’s management and ask if they have their premises under video surveillance (a great many businesses do). You may need to subpoena their tapes later. You should also consider filing a Stalking charge or Criminal Mischief charge.

Also, an Injunction or TRO does not give her the right to change the locks on your home (generally both the permission of all lease-holders is necessary to change the locks), nor can she destroy or dispose of any of your property. Wrongfully interfering with another’s personal property is one definition of Criminal Trespass.

As for lawyers, it is better to have one than not have one, although you can use a public defender, or represent yourself. If you do choose to represent yourself, you owe it to yourself to do as much research as you can beforehand. Judges will not accept ignorance of the law as an excuse.

Once you have been released, it may be extremely tempting to leave the state, or even the country. The father in the Review-Journal case ultimately did leave the country. While you may remain technically ‘free’ by doing so—perhaps indefinitely—refusal to appear in court will result in a bench warrant against you, and a simple traffic stop thousands of miles away would result in your arrest. Leaving the area also smacks of guilt. It’s probably better to remain in the area, with friends or family, until your court date(s) are finalized.

You will probably be better served by preparing and researching your own case, as well as filing whatever civil suits you can.

AFTER A FALSE ALLEGATION

If you retain counsel—even a public defender—you should work closely with him or her to present the best defense you can. Give your attorney all the facts you can: date and time of the arrest, any witnesses, the approach and behavior of the police, your work history, anything you can think of. Don’t hold anything back from your attorney. If the allegation is flagrantly false, add your willingness to take a polygraph test and ask if your accuser could be given one as well.

Some very harried or underconfident public defenders may suggest that you plea bargain. The ‘deal’ may be tempting, but you should not ever plead guilty to something you didn’t do.

As mentioned previously, some criminal charges may apply to your accuser: Wanton Endangerment, Assault, Criminal Mischief, Disorderly Conduct, Making a False Police Report. These charges may seem ‘retaliatory’, but turnabout is fair play, and criminal charges should let your accuser know that A) there are consequences for her actions, B) you’re fighting mad, and C) you’re fighting mad within the boundaries of the law.

It’s best if you’re able to provide evidence, of course. You may be able to use a photocopy of your own arrest record. If the police demand that you provide evidence or witnesses, politely ask them why, since they did not require evidence or witnesses to arrest you. If the Watch Commander tells you to forget it, note his name and badge number and politely ask when the next Watch Commander comes on duty.

You can bring a civil suit for Defamation of Character (Libel or Slander) in small claims court without a lawyer, but the maximum amount you would be able to sue for would be $5,000.00. Beyond small claims court, civil trails become very lengthy and expensive.

Libel should be proven through the police report itself. It is—or should be—an unproven accusation or a criminal offense. You should sue for the amount of your release bond, court costs, attorney’s fees, any time lost from work and any expenses incurred from being restricted from your residence (hotels, meals, etc.). If this amount totals more than a small claims court can award, consider filing a claim in a higher court. You should also ask for your record to be expunged.

You will need to subpoena the responding and arresting officer(s) as witnesses. Since the allegation was fabricated, they will actually be ‘anti-witnesses’—to all the events they were told occurred but did not actually see. If you are representing yourself, here are some sample questions you might consider asking. Only ask questions that you are certain will be answered to your satisfaction!

“Did you check for priors through your NCIS database?” (Yes)

“Did I have any previous arrests?” (No)

“Had you ever been summoned to the residence before on a similar complaint?” (No)

“Had any of the neighbors complained previously?” (No)

“When you arrived, did you see a struggle taking place?” (No)

“Did you see any signs of a struggle?” (No)

“Was I acting in a violent manner?” (No)

“Did you notice any injuries to the accuser?” (No)

“Did she ask for medical attention?” (No)

“How many domestic disputes have you responded to previously?”

“Among those disputes, how many resulted in your arresting the man?”

If your accuser cross-examines the officer(s), remember that anything not witnessed or corroborated is hearsay.

If you win in court, ask that the case be either sealed or expunged (erased from your record).

It may be possible to sue for the police (or sheriffs) for Malicious Arrest, or the Prosecutors for Malicious Prosecution.

Malicious arrest occurs when police arrest you knowing you were innocent. You ARE innocent until proven guilty. Unfortunately, Malicious arrest is notoriously hard to prove, as is Malicious Prosecution. Malicious Prosecution occurs when the prosecution came after you with malice and without probable cause. In the case of someone with no previous criminal record—especially a case without evidence or witnesses—a good

attorney could argue that Arrest and/or Prosecution are malicious, since the ordeal and trial will seriously malign your reputation.

Using the letter of the law itself, it may be possible to bring additional charges against your accuser, and/or the law enforcement officers in question. For example, Kidnapping is simply detaining, or taking someone to another area against their will. Conspiracy, and Aiding and Abetting the same may technically apply to the police, along with Unreasonable Search and Seizure.

These may seem like extreme measures, and may require a very aggressive and creative attorney.

However, if the victims of false accusations continue to remain on the defensive, merely leaving their fate to an attorney or public defender, and do not research, explore and demand their rights, then the wheels of injustice will continue to grind our lives with impunity. It is only if we consistently challenge and punish false allegations—and hold the judicial system accountable—that we can hope for any true justice and change.

SOURCES AND SUGGESTED READING:

The Street Law Handbook: Surviving Sex, Drugs and Petty Crime. Neeraja Viswanathan, Esq. Bloomsbury Books (bloomsburybooks.com, streetlawhandbook.com)

SCAM-PROOF YOUR LIFE by Sid Kirchheimer, AARP Books/Sterling Publishing.

6-Hour Guide To Protecting Your Assets by Martin M. Shenkman

WEBSITES:

www.falseallegations.com

www.falseabuse.com

www.standyourground.com

www.RADAR.org

www.dontmakehermad.com

FALSE ALLEGATION ACCOUNTABILITY ACT

Whereas, false allegations of criminal behavior or activity are acted upon by law enforcement personnel and are resulting in ‘warrantless’ arrests depriving citizens of due process of law and unconstitutional search and seizure, regardless of the motive behind the allegations;

Whereas, otherwise law-abiding citizens with no prior criminal records are being deprived of liberty, property and dignity by false allegations;

Whereas, false allegations of crimes strain police resources, overload the court system, result in lost work, wages and tax revenue;

It is thereby suggested that the provable False Allegation of a Crime shall be classified as a Class D Felony (Assault), punishable by a maximum of 6 months in jail and a fine of $1,000, and/or probation, mandatory counseling, community service, and full financial restitution to the victim, including lost wages and court costs.

{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }

Richard October 14, 2010 at 11:33

One thing – I think was missed about “moving in with her”

The “common law wife” laws…

That is, if a man and a woman cohabit for a long enough period, they are considered MARRIED in a court of law…

The last time I checked – in my state – the time period was 6 months.

This means that if you live with a woman for 6 months, she is considered your wife – and entitled to half your crap when you split (in my state anyway).

Honestly, I would say NEVER move in with a woman – or allow a woman to move in with you.

Pimp-Daddy Government wants its money for you “using” her vagina.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 40 Thumb down 3
TDOM October 14, 2010 at 12:42

Excellent article Ken. It is refreshing that more articles are being posted that not only indentify men’s problems and issues, but also address solutions while at the same time, aren’t simply blaming feminism. I’ve seen a number of these articles at various sites lately and I’ve written some of my own (check out the Legally Obscene series at A Voice for Men or The Damned Olde Man).

While I still think it is important to point out the problems with feminism, ultimately, what the men’s movement needs is a direction for action. Most men don’t want to look at themselves as victims of feminism, but they are willing to identify problems and implement solutions. Your article is a giant step in the right direction.

TDOM

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intp October 14, 2010 at 12:49

Geez. After reading this article I’d rather play catch with a beaker of nitroglycerine than get near a woman.

How about this? Until all the Communists, corrupting our institutions in the West, have been identified and expelled or executed just avoid women in the West.

Treat Western Women like the malignant cancer they have become.

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Nutz October 14, 2010 at 13:11

Meanwhile, investigations of rape cases within the United States Air Force revealed that 55% of rape charges were falsified. Reasons that were given for making the false rape charges ranged from covering up a pregnancy, to testing a husband’s love, to a reason for being late to work.

Damnit people cite your sources when you make these kinds of claims! To the website’s management, please refrain from publishing these kinds of articles until the authors list their references. You may end up with a case of libel if you don’t.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 19 Thumb down 32
Keyster October 14, 2010 at 13:41

McDowell, Charles P., Ph.D. “False Allegations.” Forensic Science Digest, (publication of the U.S. Air Force Office of Special Investigations), Vol. 11, No. 4 (December 1985), p. 64.

Everything is on the internet.

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Emperor Maximillian of Austria October 14, 2010 at 13:51

Better to simply avoid anything that even appears to be a long-term relationship. Better still to swear off women altogether. The percentage of them who can be trusted and relied upon are very small, and impossible to know until it’s already too late.

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ZenCo. October 14, 2010 at 14:16

Great article but I think I can condense it a little more.

1) Never let a woman move in to your place

2) Never move in to a woman’s place’

3) Never let a woman you just met have sex with you in your place.
Hotels, motels, are best.

4) Leave a laptop on which could/could not be recording everything. Most will still work when the computer is closed.

5) NEVER get married or seriously cohabitate. Make some money, see the world instead. You’ll find women everywhere you go!

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universe October 14, 2010 at 14:28

Such practical useful advice.
Not wishing to be critical, but for far too long, information like this had been absent from our discourse.
I couldn’t have authored this piece, above, as I’ve not been in any of the circumstances described in the article and I live outside of American jurisdictions.
Earlier this year, I asked an associate law professor for an easy reference to Canadian civil rights for everyday matters, including arrest procedures. No concise info on basic rights appears to be available here. Only 2 books referencing constitutional law was provided.

High praises to the author of this post and the site administrator for allowing it. (Also – many good comments from the previous post on the Latvian situation. I’m glad to be here reading these discussions).

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 15 Thumb down 1
Richard October 14, 2010 at 14:48

@Nutz:

A study conducted by the United States Air-Force found that more than 25% of women who accused men of rape recanted their story just before taking, or after FAILING a lie-detector test.
Ultimately, the study concluded that 60% of rape allegations were FALSE.
The most common reason for the false accusations from women were spite or revenge.

(Forensic Science Digest, v. 11. n. 4, 12/85; Archives of Sexual Behavior, 1994, v. 23, n. 1.)

It was 60%, not 55%.

The reference is listed above now…

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Paradoxotaur October 14, 2010 at 15:00

“It was 60%, not 55%.”

Actually, it was AT LEAST 60%.

“To my considerable chagrin, we found that at least 60 percent of all the rape allegations were false.”- written correspondence from Dr. Charles P. McDowell, Supervisory Special Agent, U.S. Air Force, Office of Special Investigations to Dr. Warren Farrell, March 20 1992 (as quoted in The Myth of Male Power, by Dr. Warren Farrell, p. 322)

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continent October 14, 2010 at 15:30

@Nutz,
Would you please list case law or statute under which a person or entity had “standing” to sue for libel under Australian legal system in a similar situation?
Legal battle from America and New Zealand involving abuse allegations, Book Link:
http://www.amazon.com/Hilarys-Trial-Elizabeth-Morgan-Americas/dp/0671691767

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 2 Thumb down 0
CM October 14, 2010 at 15:50

Man that was dam good writing. I think this is Issue #1 of MRM. Until we are able to unshackle this ball and chain – It will be vary hard to improve on Men’s rights. Living in fear is unacceptable.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 12 Thumb down 1
Eusebius October 14, 2010 at 16:03

My background is that I was a defense attorney, prosecutor and have been a detective investigating domestic violence for 15 years. I have been around this stuff for a long time. I know there are legions of false accusations and many more exaggerated accusations, so I am sympathetic in general to the purpose of this article. In that vein i would offer some contrary advice you can take or leave.

The first thing to decide if you are accused of a crime or the police have been called is whether you actually broke the law. In general you know if you did. If you are unsure whether you broke the law, you probably did. In that case:
Get away from the scene if you can do so without fleeing the police and stay gone.
1. Keep your mouth shut:
2, Be polite and physically compliant
3. Get a lawyer
4. Refuse any contact with the complainant or any friends or relatives therof.
5. Except for any mandated court appearance, get and stay invisible.

However, if you are falsely accused I think you should act completely differently. Stay and tell anyone including the police, exactly what happened. If the complainant is falsely accusing you it is probably
because she is angry about something: explain why she is angry at you and how that led to the threat. Were you packing to leave and she threatened you out of a sense of abandonment (very common)? Show them the suitcase. Did she hurt herself to make an injury? Show them how she did it so they can compare it to her marks and contrast it with her version of events. Show them how you have no marks on your knuckles or skin under your nails. Did she throw a shoe? Show them the dent in the wall and the shoe that made it. The different ways in which you can demonstrate a false accusation are endless but it really takes a person who was there to show all of the things that demonstrate the falseness of it. Otherwise the cops won’t know what to look for. I know that this is contrary to what virtually every defense lawyer says: They always say never talk to the police. Why do they give this advice? Because while its not necessarily the best advice for all clients, its the safest advice. Most clients are in fact guilty of something so most should just shut up. Very, very few lawyers are going to try to sort out all the angles to figure out tonight whether you are innocent. You will get booked in and they will sort it out at the courthouse, in an environment they are comfortable with during business hours and after you pay a retainer. The problem is that exonerating evidence is similar to incriminating evidence: It dries up, disappears, gets thrown in the trash by the complainant, witnesses move away, go home without anyone learning their name, texts get deleted, phone messages get erased, etcetera etcetera. Over the years I have seen many false accusations shown when the accused helps me see the evidence that they are innocent. The fact is that there is NO law that mandates an arrest if the officer does not believe there is probable cause that a crime was committed and the accused committed it. Police get a bad rap in this country but the fact is that the average officer knows there are lots of false accusations and gets really tired of them. Its offensive to be used by pseudo victims and by the victim industry and whether you believe it or not it is true that most cops get really offended by complainants who try to play us. Again, take it or leave it but hopefully won’t need it.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 28 Thumb down 3
CM October 14, 2010 at 16:12

It is better to ask “Do you want to make love?” and receive a positive response then to merely assume she’s consenting to sex via body language. Some colleges insist that males must receive verbal consent prior to intercourse, and any sex without it is non-consensual.

Males eh? only males must receive verbal consent. From the female.

What if you say… “do you want to have sex?” and she gives consent, but then you say… “hah! I knew you did! what will you do for it?” …No I just think it’s kind of a monkey wrench. Is it necessary to record them giving consent?

It will be interesting to those women who like to remain mysterious in everything they do to stop in the middle of the room and look at her like an android and say “would you like to share in a sexual intercourse experience”. And then refuse to continue before she says it explicitly LOL. Wow feminists are dumb.

This is comedy material folks. But my questions are serious…

Someone should defiantly do a SNL skit on this. What an unbelievable hassle it is – I guess if it’s that much of a pain to have a sex life our overlords will figure you’ll just give up on it.

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Paradoxotaur October 14, 2010 at 16:25

If anyone is interested in getting a bit more background in these matters, there are some after-market materials (i.e. NOT law school casebooks) that law students have been using for decades. Probably one of the easiest for a lay person to read are Emanuel’s Law Outlines. If you have a law school in your area, you can probably pick up a used one in Family Law, or whatever field you’re interested in, (complete with margin notes) really cheap. Next up the chain are Gilbert Law Summaries. If you eyes aren’t bleeding yet and you want to go further down the rabbit hole (and you’re in California), Summary of California Law by B.E. Witkin is fairly well respected. You should be able to access Witkin at your public library or local courthouse law library and shouldn’t be too difficult if you’ve made it through the corresponding Emanuel outline. I imagine other states have similar summaries.

Law school casebooks probably won’t be much use unless you’re sitting in on the corresponding lectures, which you might want to look into. Hey, it’s probably more interesting than whatever is on TV tonight.

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CM October 14, 2010 at 16:38

The different ways in which you can demonstrate a false accusation are endless but it really takes a person who was there to show all of the things that demonstrate the falseness of it. Otherwise the cops won’t know what to look for. They always say never talk to the police. Why do they give this advice? Because while its not necessarily the best advice for all clients, its the safest advice.

Good advice… Everyone does say just remain silent and take the 5th. While it is the safest it’s interesting to note that it may not be the best strategy. THX.

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Anonymous October 14, 2010 at 16:41

Also, an Injunction or TRO does not give her the right to change the locks on your home (generally both the permission of all lease-holders is necessary to change the locks), nor can she destroy or dispose of any of your property. Wrongfully interfering with another’s personal property is one definition of Criminal Trespass.

Amazingly enough, in my home province of Saskatchewan, not only do women gain power of attorney of your stuff via a DV accusation, but she doesn’t even have to live with you…only be in a relationship. I haven’t confirmed this with SaskJustice, but I do have a friend whose Law professor left Saskatchewan on the day this law came into effect, and told the class that was his reason for doing so….

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Factory October 14, 2010 at 16:42

Also, an Injunction or TRO does not give her the right to change the locks on your home (generally both the permission of all lease-holders is necessary to change the locks), nor can she destroy or dispose of any of your property. Wrongfully interfering with another’s personal property is one definition of Criminal Trespass.

Amazingly enough, in my home province of Saskatchewan, not only do women gain power of attorney of your stuff via a DV accusation, but she doesn’t even have to live with you…only be in a relationship. I haven’t confirmed this with SaskJustice, but I do have a friend whose Law professor left Saskatchewan on the day this law came into effect, and told the class that was his reason for doing so….

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CM October 14, 2010 at 16:49

A study conducted by the United States Air-Force found that more than 25% of women who accused men of rape recanted their story just before taking, or after FAILING a lie-detector test.
(Forensic Science Digest, v. 11. n. 4, 12/85; Archives of Sexual Behavior, 1994, v. 23, n. 1.)

“It was 60%, not 55%.”
Actually, it was AT LEAST 60%.
“To my considerable chagrin, we found that at least 60 percent of all the rape allegations were false.”- written correspondence from Dr. Charles P. McDowell, Supervisory Special Agent, U.S. Air Force, Office of Special Investigations to Dr. Warren Farrell, March 20 1992 (as quoted in The Myth of Male Power, by Dr. Warren Farrell, p. 322)

Thx for those sources. Does anyone have a LINK online somewhere? That would really be cupcake. =D

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CM October 14, 2010 at 16:52

not only do women gain power of attorney of your stuff via a DV accusation, but she doesn’t even have to live with you…only be in a relationship.

A relationship could be anything – that means all women own half of everything every man owns.

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Factory October 14, 2010 at 17:04

Oh, and by the way….NICKED! If you don’t mind, that is….

A relationship could be anything – that means all women own half of everything every man owns.

Actually, it’s worse. It means, literally, that every man in Saskatchewan that is in a relationship is one phone call away from a weekend in jail, only to find on Monday that ‘sweetie’ sold everything he owns and cleaned out the bank accounts – LEGALLY – with nothing more than an accusation of DV. Even if he goes to trial and is proven innocent, she had the legal right to sell his stuff (although I believe there is something in there about fair market value…so I guess she can’t sell your house to her mother for a dollar…there’s that much, I guess…).

Now, this I haven’t confirmed, but I’m thinking more and more about trying to get some face time in the provincial Legislature. I’d like to ask the Minister of Justice if this shit really IS the way the law is written….far more satisfying than asking a lawyer, wouldn’t it be?

I doubt I will, but hey, it can’t hurt to ask…..

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CM October 14, 2010 at 17:33

Dam Factory… I guess it’s what happens when a toxic ideology isn’t stopped. It just keeps going and gets more and more toxic. If feminism was a good idea – this wouldn’t be the eventual result of laying it’s foundations, if the foundations and roots are therefore not attacked, it looks like this is the fruit that it will bear.

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Traveller October 14, 2010 at 17:39

Excellent article, I am glad we had pratical advice. I hope more will follow.

I agree with the suggestion about avoiding living together with a woman.

For casual encounters, it is a good suggestion keep a recording device. The article speaks about pens with hidden cameras, digital cameras and so.

Places to keep them: one’s person, car and home.

There are many devices of this kind. Just search in Google somethig like “spy web cam”. There are many online stores offering common objects with hidden inside a little digital cam (pens, clocks, wrist watches, fake books). Useful is to search for Private Investigator equipment, just to see what is around and the prices.

These cams can be wireless and transmit signal to a nearby computer. Or they can record for a limited amount of time and record an audio-video file (or a sequence of still pictures) on a small flash memory card.

(As a side note, Internet is full of voyeurism sites where those video clip are uploaded. “Hidden cam” is the magic phrase, usually they are hidden where people undress or bathrooms. In many cases, they are illegal, but it happens they are also fabricated for satisfying this kind of fetish. But stop digressing.)

I would add these, in the case you decide to stay together anyway.

1 Never reveal the password of your mail to anyone. Nor your web site, your bank online site or any other social network. Including instant messaging applications like Skype.

2 Do not let her use your computer. Let her get hers. Protect it with a good password. If she gains access to your PC, as already noticed, everything will be used against you. Even if you looked at Playboy site. Remember, any girl picture is good for accusation of being a pedo, even if it is not. Let alone she can implant bad stuff in your PC before giving it to the police. Depending on your country, you can refuse to reveal those passwords to the police.

3 Use periodically any program to remove traces, like Spybot, it removes elements like history of opened files, and keep periodically your browser data clean (history, cookies).

4 Encrypt anything with programs like Axcrypt or Truecrypt. If you make pics with your cell phone or digital camera, transfer them as soon as possible to your PC and encrypt them.

5 Use a wiping program like Eraser to keep clean the free space on your hard disks. Remember, files deleted are usually recoverable for some time after deletion. Use that program for flash cards, usb keys and cards of your cell phone and digital camera. Configure your cell phone to store pics in the removable card and not in the main memory.

6 If you record something and the PC remains to her to being modified, there is little utility. If you have a web space, there are programs that can send the video to a remote web server. Usually they are included in the webcam box and can vary.

(7 All these programs are free.)

8 I would say: do not care the law, record anything and discuss with your lawyer, about what you can use and what not.

Guess what, as governments are pushing to outlaw encryption, I imagine feminists will push for outlawing recording devices and webcams.

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CM October 14, 2010 at 17:55

About Factory’s post:

But if you really want to know the truth. If that is the reality in Saskatchewan, it’s not really much more different from the way it IS already with sexual harassment – the oppression may be more severe and initiated with greater trivialities, but the basic structure is the same. It goes like this:

In or at anytime any woman, girl or female can subjectively and intuitively unleash her wrath upon any male anywhere in the form of laws such as sexual harassment etc. by the defining parameters of which solely based on the immediate subjective feelings, thoughts and verbal power of the accuser, will guarantee destruction upon the target and the accuser subsequently upheld as heroic victim and pillar of society.

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Paradoxotaur October 14, 2010 at 19:22

Is it just me, or do feminists seem like drunken children playing with matches and gunpowder?

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continent October 14, 2010 at 20:51

American seminal case involving video or voice recording of police officer making an arrest. This could happen if domestic violence recording is activated and police action recorded.

“And he may end up deciding that it is not even worthy of going to trial.

However, he also acknowledged that “we are on unplowed ground” regarding cases of people arrested on wiretapping charges for videotaping police. And it just may take a trial to plow those grounds.

Circuit Judge Emory A. Plitt Jr. expressed skepticism on the case during a hearing Friday, citing a 2,000-year-old Roman quote, “who will watch the watchers,” as he questioned prosecutors on the merits of the case, which is set to go to trial on October 12.

He said he would soon issue a written ruling on whether the case will proceed to trial.”

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Rebel October 14, 2010 at 21:09

If a man has to protect himself from a woman (a lover) as his worst enemy, then I would suggest that men drop women altogether.

Don’t sleep with the enemy.

It looks like human females have become exactly the replica of their sister, the black widow.

When I read those posts, I feel like I am one of the prisoners in a nazi concentration camp.

I am so glad, so happy to be too old for sex now.

Honestly, I don’t understand how can today’s men cope with today’s women. I sympathize deeply with all the young men out there.
I am sorry to see how shitty women have become.

And I’m not even sure that they are any better anywhere else now: it seems that a cancer has spread world wide and made all female humans unfit for human existence.

The sex android (or gynoid?) is badly needed. Maybe artificial women will be more human that the ones in the flesh.

No way they could be worse.

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Robert October 14, 2010 at 22:15

Nutz October 14, 2010 at 13:11
Meanwhile, investigations of rape cases within the United States Air Force revealed that 55% of rape charges were falsified. Reasons that were given for making the false rape charges ranged from covering up a pregnancy, to testing a husband’s love, to a reason for being late to work.

Damnit people cite your sources when you make these kinds of claims! To the website’s management, please refrain from publishing these kinds of articles until the authors list their references. You may end up with a case of libel if you don’t.

http://www.falserape.net/

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Ubermind October 15, 2010 at 01:02

This is sad. If you truly live with such precautions, as described in this article, like recording your and hers every word or penny spent – they take so much time, that you spend more time protecting yourself from her and viewing her as enemy than you spent time by making love and creating bonds.

All that man should do is to sexually and socially ignore single-moms, women who have had more than 1 sex partners per 10 years of her life, women who have sued for divorce in past, golddigers and women who insist that man must pay for her. Never pay for women.

Women are behaving so badly because they know that they will find some alfas who will pump and dump them anyway and some betas who will forgive everything and eagerly offer themselves as their next victims.

We as society must show to women that such a behavior is unforgivable and untolerable. For that we need to start believing it ourselves. We need to educate men 9especially youn men and our sons) on what freedom it is to be selective in women and how it actually helps you attract them(Game) Only then when men will see their penis value higher than pussy value will social awareness shift and also laws will change.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 7 Thumb down 2
Robert October 15, 2010 at 01:16

One thing I would like to see in the future is both men who have been falsely accused of any crime to speak about it and see men become more assertive and utilize their rights. Those who oppose our rights love it when we are silent or busy fighting each other. We need to stop distracting ourselves and each other and get down to serious business. Those who oppose our rights may consider our silence as an empowerment to themselves. As I have stated before, nobody hears what you don’t say. Those who oppose our rights, imho, are like bullies. as long as the ones being bullied do nothing, the more the bullies continue to bully. If the ones being bullied fight back the bullies back off. There is a time to remain silent and there is a time to speak up and make noise.

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Robert October 15, 2010 at 01:18

What was it one poster stated on another topic; ” People flock around the winner not the loser “?

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Bob Smith October 15, 2010 at 07:13

That is, if a man and a woman cohabit for a long enough period, they are considered MARRIED in a court of law. The last time I checked – in my state – the time period was 6 months.

Are you sure it’s just cohabitation? The common law marriage rules I’m familiar with also require you to hold yourself out as married, and take affirmative acts like co-owning a primary residence, joint bank accounts, etc.

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continent October 15, 2010 at 08:34

@ Robert,
Thanks for listing the http://www.falserape.net/ link. I was not aware of it but when Bill Clinton was USA president, he had a first female Secretary of Air Force. The Air force became almost an Air Farce because male pilot were punished for not giving female pilots equal training and speaking out critically. Hopefully your link gets wider exposure so others might be aware that there is an organization supporting them. Wikipedia link to Secretary’s bio.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheila_Widnall

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Nutz October 15, 2010 at 08:37

A big thanks to the folks that followed up with references for the AF false rape claim figures. It’s really frustrating when relay the info to others and they ask for references as proof. Having nothing to offer just makes you come across like a crackpot railing against the system for no good reason. Having actual studies and research linked to in the articles we post here goes a long way to preventing that perception.

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Paradoxotaur October 15, 2010 at 09:25

@Nutz: “Having actual studies and research linked to in the articles we post here goes a long way to preventing that perception.”

If you haven’t already, I suggest getting a copy of The Myth of Male Power by Dr. Warren Farrell (US$14 in paperback). It has over 51 pages of footnotes on a wide range of men’s issues. My understanding is that some wimmenz studies classes have banned citation to Dr. Farrell’s works, which to me is a high endorsement. It was first printed in 1993, which shows how long this stuff has been going on. I think it’s a good reference for men starting their tumble down the MRA rabbit hole. I’ve stuck annotated Post-It flags on the pages I tend to keep coming back to.

FWIW: I have no economic interest in or assocation with Dr. Farrell or his books.

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Robert October 15, 2010 at 09:59

You are welcome Continent and Nutz.

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Robert October 15, 2010 at 10:02

Nutz, have you visited The False Rape Society?

Here is the link;

http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/

About the blog;

http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/p/about-this-blog.html

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continent October 15, 2010 at 14:15

@ Robert,
U.S Air Force Academy is between Colorado Springs and Denver. a university held welcoming party for players and some female hostesses claimed they were raped. The District Attorney was married to one member of Board at the school. Was there “pillow talk” was not deported. When a reporter was going to write a book, two publishers backed out because the threat of lawsuit.
Some members of the school lost their jobs and there was a media “feeding frenzy” for women’s behalf. Eventually the case was settled and the book was self- published.Link:

http://www.amazon.com/Buffaloed-Gender-Fueled-Season-Scandal/dp/1599710250

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continent October 15, 2010 at 14:52

Correction to UC case,
It was the Plaintiff’s attorney who was married to a Board member, the DA was an aggressive prosecutor. Link Fox,
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,117690,00.html

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E. Steven Berkimer October 15, 2010 at 16:22

Thanks Robert,

I would recommend Nutz, you check out this page:

http://falserapesociety.blogspot.com/p/informative-sources.html.

You can google the following for more information as well:

1. Eugene Kanin (Who, by the way, was beloved by the feminist establishment, until he published his study on false rape accusations. He then became a pariah in the femosphere).

2. EU Daphne II

Feel free to stop by out site, and if you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask. We are always glad to answer.

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E. Steven Berkimer October 15, 2010 at 16:23

Sorry, in the above post:

Feel free to stop by out site

should read:

Feel free to stop by our site

It friday. I’ve had too many drinks.

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Winston Smith October 16, 2010 at 09:21

“If the allegation is flagrantly false, add your willingness to take a polygraph test and ask if your accuser could be given one as well.”

This is terrible advice. Polygraphs are an interrogation tool, without scientific merit, and passing one will not relieve suspicion. But if you fail one things will only get worse. It’s a classic heads I win; tales you lose situation.

http://www.skepdic.com/polygrap.html

https://antipolygraph.org/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polygraph#Validity

…innocent people have been known to fail polygraph tests. In Wichita, Kansas in 1986, after failing two polygraph tests (one police administered, the other given by an expert that he had hired), Bill Wegerle had to live under a cloud of suspicion of murdering his wife Vicki Wegerle, even though he was neither arrested nor convicted of her death. In March 2004, a letter was sent to The Wichita Eagle reporter Hurst Laviana that contained Vicki’s drivers license and what first appeared to be crime scene photographs of her body. The photos had actually been taken by her true murderer, BTK,[39] the serial killer that had plagued the people of Wichita since 1974 …

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Words Twice October 16, 2010 at 12:13

I second the opinion that volunteering for a polygraph is a bad idea. In many places the results aren’t even admissible in court.

Here’s a good video on the 5th Amendment and speaking to law enforcement:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wXkI4t7nuc

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Robert October 18, 2010 at 12:37

Sex crimes are not the only offenses any woman can accuse any man of. There are also assaultive offenses as well. Accusations of assaultive offenses are not limited to domestic violence or domestic abuse and are not exclusive to women in a relationship with the man/men they accuse. Imho, these fall below false rape accusations.

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Bambino October 18, 2010 at 18:50

A woman rapes a man’s reputation.

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K.K. October 19, 2010 at 09:59

Thanks to everyone for the input and feedback. My apologies for the slight inaccuracy of the Air Force Investigations, I should have just put ‘majority’.

Additional thanks to Mr. Eusebius for his advice…might I have permission to repost that?
Best, K.K. (Ken Kupstis)

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MIP October 24, 2010 at 13:34

sad n hard to admit,..but this reminds me of my Mother

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3Lions October 25, 2010 at 14:57

Good article but doesn’t cover my scenario. My domestic battery accuser self harmed herself while I was en route to the Police station here in IN to file a report of my accuser pointing a gun at me in my own home. I never laid a finger on her but when the Police arrived at the house responding to her 911 call she had given herself facial bruises. I was in the Police station filing my report against her when I was arrested.

I offered up a Polygraph on advice of my lawyer. This morning I took the test and failed. She alleges I threw a cup of coffee over her and hit her. Those questions were not asked in the exam. In fact the only question related to the charge at all was “Do I know how she sustained the injuries”. I said ‘No” to that question both times it was asked and fouled on that. I now know I should have said yes because I know she must have caused the injury to herself. There is no other possible explanation.

Since the alleged incident I’ve found out via public court records in KY that she has a history of pointing guns at her partner (her ex recorded it) and self harming herself. She self harmed herself while in Police restraints after the ex produced the recording to them responding to his 911 call of her pointing a gun at him. When arrested and put in restraints she smashed her head on the sidewalk and again on the shield in the Police vehicle asking officers to kill her. This was just six months before I met her. I only knew her for two months in which within a week of knowing her she was laying it on thick how she was scared of her ex who allegedly was threatening to kill her and that he knew where she lived. Like any guy would I believed her and wanted to help a damsel in distress. She said he didn’t know where I lived and she’d feel safer there and wanted to move in with me. Like a fool I agreed. Chivalry got me into trouble. Her previous gun incident I’ve found out was dismissed on condition she carried on seeing her psychiatrist even though the recording proves without doubt her guilt. If I knew then about her past I would not let her within an inch of me.

In the meantime my lawyer keeps me at arms length and doesn’t speak to me. This has been the case since the whole thing started. In fact I’m scared of talking to him at all as he shouts at me a lot and tells me to shut up. He says I talk too much. He’s a bear kind and a fighter but right now I feel so alone as I’m a British guy living in the US without any family/support around me.

Right now I’m so done with women. I feel like I never want to get with one again. Until this incident my Police record has been squeaky clean. I’m 41 years of age.

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