From Paul Elam’s A Voice for Men
In the last part of the Zeta Game series, I covered the fundamental concept of hypergamy- the natural tendency in women to benefit from reducing men to a purely utilitarian role in their lives. I also touched on the notion that the innate programming in men to protect and provide (and thus compete for women’s attention) plays directly into the hypergamous gambit, most often resulting in men participating in their own misuse and exploitation.
In short, the way men compete for a higher rank among women is to place their blood, sweat and assets, even their own bodies, at the woman’s disposal- no matter how capricious or trivial her desires may be.
The fundamental problem with this arrangement is that hypergamy is not guided by any set of constraining ethical principles. It is, in fact, so utterly devoid of a moral compass that one of the major tools in the woman’s hypergamous repertoire is to shame men into sacrificing for them- and to quietly laugh at them as they do it.
We have often seen this referred to in MRM literature as women’s propensity for pathological self centeredness and to get what they want from men by any means necessary- up to and including the use of law enforcement and the judiciary. We have pointed to their “sense of entitlement,” where it concerns their dealings with men, and noted what seems to be a compassionless disregard for the consequences of their selfish actions.
The evidence of this is clear for many men from the most mundane aspects of day to day life, where they are confronted with women who insist on making marriage and home, or even transient relationships, all about them- to family courts where so many women seem to revel in the sight of their families (and their own children) being ripped to shreds simply because it gives them a an opportunity for petty personal revenge- and financial gain.
It is always tempting, sometimes irresistible, to attribute this kind of toxic femininity to the efforts of feminism, consumerism and perhaps some other forms of social malady. But I would argue that those factors only aggravated already existing conditions, and that what we are dealing with here is as natural as rainfall in late spring.
Hypergamous behavior is a product of paleomammalian hard wiring, plain and simple. It stems from 3,000,000 years of successful human evolution, and it is present, to greater or lesser degrees, in the behavior of all women. You can complain about it, look down on it, judge it and hate it all you want, but it is not going to change by trying to reason with it. You might as well be trying to talk someone out of the urge to eat when they are hungry.
I think the truth of this has been such an ingrained part of male consciousness for so long that it has been buried in our unconscious, and we have slipped into the worst coping strategies possible for dealing with it. We ignore it and/or deny it. We even endear and defend it. But what very few of us ever do is confront and control it.
And as a result we are constantly getting fucked by it. Mind you, most of us end up that way by bending over and grabbing ankles without anyone so much as asking.
It may seem like things have been this way forever, but it has only reached really dangerous proportions in recent times.
As long as there were social constructs, e.g. at fault divorce, that required women to set practical limits on how far they could go, then it was a manageable problem. To this extent, we can fairly point to feminists as part of the problem because they were the ones who pushed so hard to uncork the bottle. But as we all know, the contents of Pandora’s Box were all there before it was ever opened.
We could grow old studying and analyzing the socio-cultural aspects of how hypergamy run amok has created an oppressive sexual milieu for men in general, but it is more understandable and, more importantly, productive, to examine it as it plays out in the life of the individual.
It was Roissy, if I am not mistaken, that coined the term “shit test.” And it is an apt description for the first volley in the effort to cast the hypergamous net over a man’s life. By subjecting a man to an unfair or manipulative ploy, a woman measurers her ability to control him. If he reacts by acting like a trained seal, balancing a beach ball on his nose and clapping his flippers trying to please her out of a piece of fish, he is straight up beta material and good for a run at his wallet, even if she has to give up some sex, which she will also use control him.
If he has Game, and slams down effectively on the shit test with a ploy of his own, he is alpha and therefore breeding material. Though of course she will go after his money, too.
But here’s the catch. Either way, the shit tests will continue and be an active part of the relationship. It continues with the beta because he lives on his knees begging her to do it, and it continues with the Gaming pseudo alpha because he responds only with another game. No matter how much he thinks this empowers him with her, he is still dancing the hypergamy jig anytime she chooses. He will clearly do much better than the beta, but his methods of handling the problem will only serve to perpetuate it.
From what I have seen of how non Zeta Game is practiced by its proponents, it takes a real opportunity to intervene on and reverse the shit test- leaving a foul taste in her mouth for her efforts, and instead turns it into a game- with a little g. And it does so with the same lack of values inherent in hypergamy- all to keep the pussy available.
Don’t get me wrong. When confronted with such abject manipulation and scheming from a woman, I am not bashing anyone personally for however they choose to play it. But I am still going to call a spade a spade.
Lying and scheming to get anything is weak. Lying and scheming to get pussy, or approval or to manage a woman’s behavior is even weaker.
I am admittedly old school. I still subscribe to the antiquated notion that my values are the only thing I have that cannot be taken from me. And I also believe that if I give them up for anything, then I never had them to begin with.
So to me the purpose of Zeta Game becomes simple. It is to adopt a manner of interaction with women that unequivocally leaves my values intact. And I have found through personal experience that as long as I am one rigid bastard about that, then some other things fall into place as well. Like my sanity, peace of mind, and yes, my ability to get laid or have a relationship when and if I want to.
All it takes to start is approaching my relationships with women with conviction that they are all completely and totally expendable at any time.
The moment a man finally figures out that the foundation of maintaining his sanity with women hinges on his willingness to let them go, he cannot be manipulated, and cannot be forced to resort to manipulation or dishonesty to deal with them.
One of the best opportunities to challenge his resolve on this is at a moment that happens sometime around the first 90 days of a relationship. I call that moment the Hypergamy Crossroads.
The 90 day number isn’t fixed. It is a general estimate of how long a honeymoon period will last between two people that are new to each other. Most behavior during the honeymoon can’t be taken too seriously, as it’s all fueled by neurotransmitters gone wacko- that have us dancing around acting stupid and trying to do everything right all the time. We like to call it infatuation, but really it is a sort of temporary psychosis designed to cement pair bonding long enough to get a woman pregnant. After all, what is it that you do most during the honeymoon?
But there comes a moment in that relationship, and every man I know who is not totally wet behind the ears, already knows about it.
Things are going along just fine. She like you, you like her, you’re banging each other like rabbits on meth and having one hell of an uncomplicated, hedonistic time.
But then one day you get together and there is something different about her. She seems dark, distant, maybe sulky and morose, like there is something deeply wrong. You can think of absolutely no reason why this should be so, especially as it relates to the two of you, but nonetheless it is.
You have arrived at the hypergamy crossroads, the defining point for this relationship.
Whatever has happened before in the relationship, your decisions here are the first chance you have to set the course for whatever future you have with this woman. This is your first real shit test. And you will know it is a shit test because whatever she tells you is wrong, it amounts to exactly Jack Shit.
You may find that she is upset because you didn’t call her the night before, and you always used to call on Thursdays. You may have mentioned an old girlfriend, even one she asked about, in a conversation a week ago, and now she has decided that is bothering her. Or maybe she wonders why you still want to play basketball with your friends on Tuesday nights, instead of being with her.
But whatever it is, the message will be clear. You are doing something wrong, and you need to fix it. Oh, and that crap about how women don’t expect you to fix problems but just listen to them- shitcan it. Total myth.
She wants this stuff fixed, and just as importantly she wants to feel like she made you do it (control). And the fact that there is nothing that needs to be fixed will have never entered her mind. And unless you are on your toes, it won’t enter your mind either. You will be too busy figuring out a way to make her happy and maintain her approval to notice that her complaint amounts to zilch.
If you miss that, you will miss that this is the genesis of her control over the relationship, and over you. And if you budge an inch, you lose.
Now in this situation, I believe Roissy’s preferred intervention is called “agree and amplify.”
For instance, if she says, “I deserve a man who will give up a stupid game of basketball to be with me,” the response would be something like, “You are right, you do, (agreement) but I am not going to.” (amplification).
It’s a damned good response except for the dishonesty and lack of clarity about who you are. First, does she really deserve someone who will sacrifice an important routine in their lives to spend one more hour with her?
My answer is no. No one deserves that kind of expectation, except royalty, which she may mistakenly think she is. It also, by affirming (the agreement part) her elevated sense of worth, sends an entirely bogus message. If she is worth it, why would you consider saying no?
But more to the point, to agree and amplify is not making any attempt at all to curtail future attempts- or to weed her out of your life. Presuming you are interested in hanging out long enough to find out if she is manageable, I’d suggest a different approach.
My answer would be, “That kind of expectation is out of line. The answer is no, and I hope this doesn’t mean that I will be facing more pressure to sacrifice my personal interests to you, because it is a deal breaker for me.”
Now, these two different responses may similarly appear to shut down the shit test, and both do in their own way. But I prefer the honest and instructive approach. And I have some solid reasons for that preference.
One, with my way you have cut to the core of the problem. The pressure she tried to put on you with her little game of emotional blackmail is now on her. Rather than trying to figure out a way to change your “I won’t” into an “I will,” she now is having to make a choice on whether to pack her bags because the “I won’t” is already settled.
If anyone is panicking at this moment it should be the her. If it is you, then you are struggling with your values. Stop the struggling and hang on to them. Better to let her ruin your day now than to ruin your whole life later on.
Do you want to keep a woman at the cost of her forcing you to sacrifice your own interests? Do you want to be with someone who manipulates and controls you with emotional blackmail?
It’s up to you to put a stop to it, because she won’t…she can’t, on her own.
We attract what we advertise for in life, no doubt about it.
I have talked to many men who vigorously complained about the financial drain that their wives or girlfriends had become. But when I asked them if they set up the relationship by lavishing them with gifts, flowers, expensive dinners, etc., they would get quiet in a hurry.
They did not want to accept that they were paying the consequences for their own actions early in the relationship. They went shopping for a whore and then got pissed off because that is exactly what they ended up with.
And that is a big part of how I see Zeta Game. It is about attracting women only in the most fundamental aspects. All the rest is about screening them and culling out the voluminous amounts of dead weight.
But it does not require you to dream up bullshit retorts, pick-up lines or to toss negs. It requires you to know yourself, to know what you want and assert it with the certainty that if it sends her out the door it will call another, hopefully more worthy example of womanhood right back in.
They are out there, although in small numbers. But you will never find them unless you are willing to let the bad ones scurry out like cock roaches when the lights are turned on.
And those lights being turned on? Those are your values be asserted.
More of this will be explored in the next part of the Zeta Game Series: Zeta Game- Your Wallet, Her Purse.
{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
Game sounds like more trouble than it’s worth just like being a beta provider is more trouble than it’s worth. I don’t see why anything more than a simple cost benefit analysis of the relationship is required to maintain your well being. When the situation goes from mostly sunny to mostly stormy it’s time to sail for smoother waters. What is so difficult for men to understand about that?
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Damn this Zeta game does sound quite masculine. While Roissy’s game is all suave and cool, zeta game seems way more thuggish. It’s basically “Your outta line bitch, don’t pull this bullshit again or I’m throwing your ass to da curb”.
Elam says this in a more gentrified way mind you.
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No comments? Weird. Is a good article, which explores a good use to a principle in (surprisingly) The Mystery Method:
“If you got a frame strong enough, women will go for anything. That’s the basis for Game”.
I can testify that is true.
Although idealistic, hate to break your bubble, but in most cases is about the easiest path to sex, and playing the part of the amoral sociopath is believed to be the one (it isn’t, the easiest path is hookers). Besides, it fits with amoral people in an amoral society, but that’s besides the point.
Also, a good phase of new acolytes to Roissy-ism is using anger, hate and bitterness as the only motivators. Is certainly seductive.
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Good article, however, I believe agree/amplify as per described by Roissy has more of a sarcastic/playful tone. That is to say, you agree with their shit test “Yes, you deserve a man who gives up his stupid game for you.” and then amplify “in fact, I think I’m going to quit my job, move out of my house and just follow you around all day, you deserve it.” Follow by a slap on the ass and a wink.
I like your philosophy, the direct/reasoned stance sits well with most men’s ethics. However, it may not translate to a good portion of women. Now this may be “ok” in that you are weeding out toxic women, but it may also end good (read: sexual) relationships early that could of been milked out longer. Lets face it, women work on emotions, not logic.
Perhaps, after the logical refutation of their shit test, if they again follow up later with another, a display of anger/displeasure would be enough to reframe?
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Very nice stuff.
My frame is “women are for fun and for fucking” and that serves me pretty well. Especially since it doesn’t require me to be a brooding sociopath, a thug wannabe, or a casanova, none of which I’m very good at doing.
I’m not interested in any social interaction with a woman unless it’s fun for me or involves sex. Any other behavior or expectation on her part is out of bounds. I simply tell her, “Thats not the role I play in your life” or “If you’re going to keep talking like that, call your therapist because I’m not going there.”
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It’s Labor Day weekend here in the US. Lots of people are vacationing to enjoy the last bit of summer.
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I’m definitely wet behind the ears but the logic of this thing escapes me.
1. All women are hypergamous
2. Get with a woman, but one that will abide by your values.
But this relies on a couple things.
1. Your values will remain the same. (Mine sure haven’t)
2. Things will be fine/stable as long as she abides by your values. (Life is complicated. Much more complicated when vagina comes into play.)
Come on, Paul. Her hypergamy switch is on 24/7. A man’s values are fully switched on IF their biological needs are met. Obviously, most men have plenty of time when they are in downtime recharging that the woman can use to plant her seeds.
You’re asking us to swim in feces to find a pearl. Sure you’ll find the pearl but your mouth will be full of feces. Please consider your audience. Most people here have been burned before. I suspect a lot of people here are confused beta-males who will haphazardly apply your advice to end up in chains yet again.
I have no problem with you MRM gurus, but we’re dealing with life-altering issues here. A little more rigor and reference to real life experiences of real men would be much more appreciated than what so far seems to be patronizing abstract conjecture with random references to evolutionary psychology.
We cover the same themes and same topics every week, which is fine for the damaged heterosexual male who needs to be nursed back to vitality.
For those of us who are becoming relatively seasoned, there is definitely a thirst for longer (much longer) articles that are more specific in their content.
I’m not against MRM or The-Spearhead. There’s really no need for armjerk negativity. I’m simply against what I sense to be the topical nature of MRM periodicals. It’s starting to resemble women’s gossip magazines, a simple place to get your dopamine shots before you move on to the next thing. When was the last time a Spearhead article made you sit and think for a while? A periodical can have lengthy meaty articles and still be plenty of fun (See Economist).
I really would hate to see MRM go down in flames by appointing a few gurus who just throw our conjectures and then receive kudos and that’s the end of that.
How many successful social movements do you know of? Less than five? Even the ones that have survived exist in a really bastardized form of the original. Compare that to the hundreds that have simply just died out even with a strong following.
You guys really want to end up in the same library section as the Shakers and the Ku Klux Klan because all we could come up with was that women like men with assets and women need patriarchal boundaries?
We can do better.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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Yeah, but the next article had 8 comments when I checked. Weird.
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Damn fairykarma, who peed in your cheerios this morning?
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If you love her you’ll lie to her.
If you want to lose her because you don’t love her, you’ll try the direct honesty approach. (Yeah, because women REALLY like honest guys!)
She’ll be gone before you can say “shit test”.
You’re culling the herd to zed, with the zeta game approach.
Game is popular because it works, sadly for feminists, very well.
To be realistic, a guy isn’t going to just say, “fuck her, I didn’t like her that much to begin with”, if he truly loved her. We feel very deeply. This is where the trouble begins.
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Fairly complicated game, that.
I wonder if that’s really worth all the trouble, considering that relationships are so short lived.
Wouldn’t it seem better for a man to seek relief with a professional? (read: prostitute or escort).
Once the deed is done, you pay (or you pay beforehand), then go your way while she goes hers. If the merchandise is not good, you change sex provider.
When it comes to dating, the pickings are few and far between and even with the keenest analysis, you still can get shafted badly..
Wouldn’t it be simpler to add prostitute “consultation fees” in your budget? (A lot cheaper than marriage, for sure).
For some who are on the road a lot, there’s a way to put those expenses on your income tax declaration or to invoice the company. I know some men who have done it. Sometimes, you can negociate those “advantages” with your employer.
Don’t be afraid to explore all possibilities. Your only limitation is your imagination. Now that all barriers have been taken down, the cattle herd is running free. Enjoy the ride, it’s for free!
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fairykarma, the MRM is doing perfectly fine. As far as I’m concerned it’s the best thing going. You’re complicating matters and oversimplifying them simultaneously. Just relax. The MRM has done more to help men stand up to women than everything else combined. The churches aren’t teaching it. Forget learning it in the family or college. The media is full of misandristic poison and goverment is a feminist meat grinder. The MRM doesn’t need to change. It needs to adhere to its values and just be here for us.
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Hmmm, interesting but I have two problems with this;
A.) Standing by your values and putting her in her place(not physically but relationship wise) and basically sticking by your guns only works so far. When that first major shit test comes, your 90 day mark, in my experience using this type of ltr game, you will get a 120 day honeymoon phase followed by a even greater shit test, pass that one and control the bounds of the relationship and you get a third, maybe 6 month honeymoon phase, followed by a even shittier shit test. For ex, the frist one is her throwing a emotional temper tantrum, pass and all is good, the second is more serious, pass, and the next is even more shitty, like maybe you just leave and tell her to call you when she’s ready to grow up and she get’s crazy and acts like she’s going to harm herself, but again you pass.
Then comes the doozy, she cheats on you to see if you will still have her, don’t pass this one guys just cut and run(wish I had a few times), and you stay and she knows she has her hooks in you. SO again, you put her in her place by making her get therapy and do a long list of things or get AA or something. Maybe it works and you get another long honeymoon period but again, she will cheat again or do something to see how far you can be pushed, maybe this time it’ll be a false allegation, just depends. My point is that challenging hypergamy this way can escalate the severity of her shit tests. This is why females love and hate alpha bad boys. Every woman hates her last alpha boyfriend for one reason only, she couldn’t CHANGE him. He stuck to his guns, walked his own way, was hardheaded, and stuck by his personal values to a point that she couldn’t manipulate him and get her hooks into him. This is also why so many married guys walk around like drones, with a look in their eyes screaming run, my soul has been sucked dry…RUN!
And
B) My second problem with this is that every time you put her in her place(again feminazi’s this doesn’t mean hitting her or even emotionally manipulating her, just not putting up with her shit) then what happens. She get’s nice and you realize that maybe she could be the one. Because you can have a great honeymoon relationship with her while still sticking to your values. What happens then? You start really falling for her, you think it is going to get better and better, but it only get’s more shitty.
Im not knocking this route, it’s great if you want alot of 6 month to 5 year relationships in a row, but I don’t think it is a route to eternal pussy paradise. or personal happiness.
My opinion is that we need to stop elevating the pussy, stop defining yourself based on women in any way what so ever. Once this is done they will want you more and you won’t care about them at all, but you’ll still get laid and be able to manage them as friends.
Oh, and stop being friends with them! You basically have to be their therapist, and if feminists want money for unpaid labor. I want money for all the unpaid therapy ive given females over the years. Psychologists charge between $20-several hundred dollars per hour. All beta and ex beta guys could be millionaires….lulz
http://trollkingdom.blogspot.comNSFW…new posts up.
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@ Fairykarma
If you are going to be able to understand my articles, it will require the capacity for nuance.
Let me show you why you seem, to be lacking it.
One, the whole point was that nothing hinged on whether she abides by your values, but whether you do. And while values do change to one degree or another, by the time you are an adult, if you core values change that much it is either one of two things, IMO.
You either hit an unusually hot streak of maturity, or two, your values were so fluid and changeable that they really had no foundation to begin with.
To your first point about women and hypergamy. I stipulated clearly that women are hypergamous varying degrees. I totally believe there are women who rise above enough of it to make them less than dangerous to men, even during a divorce. I have known such women.
But the point is, if you spending your time with a high maintenance, or high hypergamy woman, sacrificing your values in order to keep peace, or to keep getting a piece, or just because you tend to feel guilty whenever she turns the switch on, then you are wasting your time.
I have to say I agree with Paul’s approach – I can’t think of living any other way. I also recognize the 90-day crossroads. But be warned other readers – I’m now well past dating age and have never married, and I live alone. I’m glad of it, but that’s me. All the women in my life I dumped as soon as they started acting in ways that I believed to be selfish and coldly exploitative – and there were a fair few of them. I like to think every one of them was a better woman for the experience and possibly a little improved for the next guy who ended up with her, but I wouldn’t bet on it.
I suspect you’re either like this or you aren’t. If you must have female company, I suspect you are going to have to reconcile yourself to living with someone who sees you as a resource in one way or another.
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Like someone above intimated, I think that agree/amplify is more like the logical tactic of reductio ad absurdum mixed with cracking the emotional whip, all delivered with a dash of smartass: you just take whatever bullshit emotional premise she’s operating under and take it to its absolutely most logical absurd limit. And be a totally earnest straight man with the delivery through some of it and be an obvious sarcastic asshole at other times, winking and smiling alternating with being entirely swooning. Mix it all up into an emotional/logical absurd salad and let her “feel” and “think” her way through it.
For instance, if she suddenly demands that you give up your weekly basketball games that you’ve done forever, you’d say something like, “You know honeybuns, you’re right. It IS just a stupid game and our relationship is FAR more important. In fact, on second thought I’m going to stop working out all together and we can just cuddle all day. And really what are all of our INDIVIDUAL hobbies compared to US?
Let’s just quit our jobs too just so we can spend more time together. We’ll never leave each other’s sides. It will be SO romantic. All your friends will be SO jealous of our love. Sure, we’ll get kicked out of our apartments eventually sweetie but hey, fuck it, our relationship is FAR more important than anything else, right? Who needs eating, pissing, showering, and shitting when we could just BE together? You’re right. That’s for the best honey. You’re SO totally right. It just FEELS better to be together than anything else!”
And then go to your game as per usual without another word after a wink and sly smile. And get a couple extra beers after with your boys afterwards or just come home late after after a long drive or whatever. Let her know through your actions that you just don’t care what she’s complaining about this time, just like last time.
Personally, I was doing shit like this for years without realizing it because I enjoy taking stupid emotionally-driven statements to their logically absurd conclusions to make whoever said them look like an idiot. I just never realized why women liked it before I began learning game. That’s when I realized and finally accepted that women don’t think, although they like to say they do. They feel. That’s their weak spot. That’s where the knife sinks deepest.
In the past it has worked especially well for me with “equality” or “real man” or “chivalry” arguments that women make where you can use it and logically force them to view you as a “feminist” because you “prove” that they should do whatever the absurd conclusion is because of some emotion. All this even though it’s obviously absurd because they’re “equal” to you. It breaks their brains and pulls on their emotions, which apparently gets them wet or at the very least let’s them know they’re not dealing with just another pussy. And that’s like gold in any pussified big city in the US.
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Troll King your 16:39 post was excellent. However I wish you would make allowances to the femi-nazi word police. SCREW ‘EM! They have zilch legitimacy and you give them power when you alter you speech for the. Putting women in their place only means one thing to me and that means standing up to them. Feminists can burn in hell for all I care. And I mean that.
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However I wish you wouldn’t make allowances to the femi-nazi word police.
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The article was good and a few of the commentators have good points. I’ll say, however, in my experience, sticking to your guns does get the shit tests flowing. Like FK said, the shit tests get worse. There has to be a balance between sticking to your guns and being the smartass/gamer that keeps things fresh between man and woman. I can’t say i’ve mastered any of that, but I know from my past relationships that honesty with women is definately not the best policy. At least not all the time.
I did enjoy the article, Paul, as I enjoy much of what you write and have to say. Keep up the good work.
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Thanks. Im not trying to pull punches for femifascists, instead I hope I start the dominoes rolling in some guys minds who are suffering from cognitive dissonance, guys raised with feminism in the classroom and relationships. I know it’s probably a lost cause but I remember coming across some mra sites as a teen and I agreed with alot of what I read, but alot seemed too harsh and offputting and just too hardcore or as I was taught ‘misogynist’ for me. Years later I came back onto some of it or was trolling feminist sites(back when I would openly call myself a equalist and debate with feminists only to be called a troll) and I would remember things I read and whether online or in person it started me down this path of realization. It was awhile back after arguing with feminists and getting banned from certain sites and then reading up on mrm material that I came to the conclusion. I had been called a troll so many times for simply asking a question and engaging in honest debate, that they were infact correct. Not only am I a troll, I said to myself. I am the troll-, um, master, the great, no KING.
When my site grows in bigger readership and I have more time to devote to it, it’s going to be my goal to taunt and taunt and taunt the shit out of every feminist site on the net, all in the hopes of luring males away from them and into our camps.
You are right that words are powerful, that’s why female fascists(feminists) are always co-opting, appropriating, and flat out changing words and concepts. One of my favorite examples is how they changed STD to STI, being that sexually transmitted INFECTIONS is less worse and graphic than disease. It lowers the stigma, especially when they then mention that 70% of adults have warts and it goes away(IT DOESN”T PEOPLE, viruses hide in your body for years at a time). It destigmatizes it.
Likewise, they have an entire sublanguage, I call femspeak, that sounds innocuous to outsiders(men) but makes perfect sense to females. This is the informational wall that the female herd creates. A good example is the word ‘chemistry’, as in, “sorry, I like you like as a friend, it’s great but we lack chemistry.” Like wtf does atomic states have to do with you treating me how I want you to and me doing the same for you, yknow having aa relationship? In real life it means she doesn’t get anxious butterflies in her stomach or the hot, wet, tingly feelings in her crotch.
The sad truth is that I have always treated women nicely, the way I wanted them to treat me[yknow, the goldren rule thing] only to find contempt, bitterness, lies, and just bad mean behavior. Then I realized that they actually want to be treated like crap. What’s the old saying? Treat them like shit and they stick to your boot like it? Somthing like that.
Another example of femspeak is, ‘it’s complicated’ when said in referene to what she says is her ‘ex’ boyfriend. In real life this means she’s still fucking him and he’s not her ex yet, she’s just shopping for a bigger better deal, or trying to swing from one branch to the other. Females are branch swingers by nature. They test the durability of the branch their hangin on9shit tests), all the while chasing a sturdier, bigger branch to hang off of. They won’t let go of one branch until they are firmly on another. This is hypergamy, and for the metaphorically challenged. Branch = cock/man
There are alot of words like this, actually I think game comes from women. I remember hearing the word alpha from a female or two, but never knew what it meant in a relationship context until reading evolution and found game/PUA. But alot of girls knew, and they weren’t allowed to teach evolution in my school, so how did they know? Did they reach game materials back in the mid 90′s in HS?
Alot of the things Ive read in game blogs I was told about by ex girlfriends. Like simulated picking hairs, or random slight touching(kino? or whatever it’s called) to build rapoire. Alot of the rest comes from personal experience or obervation.
Hmm, my brain is kinda fogged right now…but there are alot of examples of femspeak, ill try to catalogue them all. I even see them in film trailers, and it’s obvious that they are vague from the male point of view. If I saw it and hadn’t either learned from observation or been told by women or read it on a mrm site, I would have no idea.
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IurnMan83, honesty and standing your ground are always the best policies. If you find yourself treading in multiple shit tests perhaps you need dump the child you’re with and find a real woman. Or at the very least create one out of scratch. Life is too short to waste your time attempting to raise spoiled and high maintenance women. Let her run her shit tests on her cat.
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Troll king thanks for explaining. By the way I just ordered 250 business cards with MRA sites listed and yours is on it.
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Telling her unabashedly and unfiltered, how you REALLY feel, IS a shit test.
That’s why you should NEVER do it.
It’s none of her business to know what you think.
You make up a bunch of shit; tell her the whole time you’re with the guys you’ll be thinking about her, etc. and so on. She’ll know its a lie, but at least you bothered to conjure up that much.
Where are these “real women” everybody’s always talking about? In my experience they ALL do this to create intrigue and drama. It gives them something to talk to their girlfriends about. She wants to be the oppressed victim. Let her. But NEVER tell her straight out the hard truth, unless you don’t mind being alone.
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keyster, I don’t believe there are any “real women” left. I guess I should have said a better more agreeable woman. All women drink from the feminist punch bowl. They refuse to submit to their men and that’s the crux of the problem.
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Paul, I always thought like that, that if Einstein or Rousseau don’t stood to their guns they woldn’t leave their mark on the world. The problem resides there, that men in our world are raised to be pussy slaves, I think of Tesla or Thomas de Aquino, that is what is about beeing a real human beeing, beeing a real man. Sure they don’t have our problems in this brave new world, they did’nt because they were not into it simply like that. They did’nt give a shit about it, there were so much more, bigger problems, bigger ideas and why, why can’t we be like that, think about bigger things? All that goes to the roots of our education, our parents figures, what we learned in school.
So if we were living the life of the greats, we would not be caught in shit tests, giving ourselves in body language, braking like betas. I don’t know how to change the grown up man that I’m, but I’m getting every time more occupied with myself with the things that keep me going, with my real dreams, sure somewhere resides a beatifull girl, but in this time, she has no face and can be anyone, as many as they can be.
I don’t know about the morals of paying a hooker, sometimes i go to one myself and have a good time, but maybe because of my chatolic education I still fill some guilty, that is wired into me, that is a psychological problem, like leaving the beta side behind, you just don’t stop feeling the christian guilt, you just don’t start from one day to another to stick with your guns.
That I see goes beyond your qualifications, we would need a psychologist a philosopher, a specific view with statistics, I don’t know, transform it into science. The idea of a book, or a scientific article is a good idea I guess.
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@Keyster
Quite right.
It’s love that takes a man to the cleaners. Not lust.
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Rebel wrote, For some who are on the road a lot, there’s a way to put those expenses on your income tax declaration
If you’re on the road a lot then you’re staying in hotels. What do you see in the hotel bars? That’s right, females who are also on the road and may want to get laid. It shouldn’t cost you anything.
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Great article. And that is the kind of game i can get into. Zeta game I like the concept. Now some of you guys are poo pooing the game concept because it leads to more and bigger shit test. Well the first part of the article was your own conditioning and point of view. No bitch is too good to throw back.
Once you understand it it works fine. I think some of you know where this is going. No love allowed. No man today on the spearhead will know freedom.I know I can never just love a woman and be instinctively good to her as the beta man that I am. We are the Jews of 1930′s europe,the blacks of 1800′s america, the ukranian’s of 1920′s and 30′s soviet union. We are men of the early 21st century wester society. I comment and share ideas for a 4 year old son. You all are blogging for the neighber’s 5 year old riding by on a tricycle.
To get back on subject it would be nice to get a shit test for a woman on how she would behave if she had a man the loved her. Back to Pauls’s responds you can add as a question “you know a man that was in love with you would give up his personal plesure for you. What would you do in return think of him as a wimp and someone to take advantage of?” I would would let her know if she saw him as a wimp she was undeserving of a mans love and only good for fucking.( which would be the truth). She may give some bullshit answer to make her sound like a nice person but she was a piece of shit to begin with trying to put some royalty demands on any one in the first place. And I would make her aware of that too.
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Pussy = The most replenished resource on earth.
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To be honest, I’m not seeing any real difference between ‘alpha’ game and ‘zeta’ game. However, I think what the article indicates is particular definition of ‘alpha’ game that isn’t really alpha.
PUAs using game consciously probably use the ‘lying/scheming’ mindset that Paul mentions, but once their game becomes unconcious they basically run ‘zeta’ game per the article.
In other words:
unconscious incompetence = AFC
conscious incompetence = recovering AFC, someone first exposed to game
conscious competence = ‘alpha’ gamer per this article
unconscious competence = ‘zeta’ gamer per this article
I have no doubt that the established game gurus (Mystery, Style, Roissy, etc) all run unconscious competence game these days, and they would probably see what they do as ‘alpha’ game, even though Paul redefines it as ‘zeta’ game.
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greyghost September 6, 2010 at 00:05 said:
“I know I can never just love a woman and be instinctively good to her as the beta man that I am.”
I would have not expressed myself better. I think it is a problem for many men today, given the fact there are few alpha, the rest is all beta.
I am relatively new to this site, and to the whole Game stuff. I do not want express yet an opinion, but the first thing to notice is understand what you want from a woman. This seems blurry to me in the theory of Game, maybe this is not the place to discuss it, it is clear from the article and the previous comments some wants use Game for fun and sex, some for a serius relationship.
Being a beta myself, I would never tell a woman some of the things I read here, and maybe in other “Speed Seduction” sites. Probably I am still conditioned, but if a woman use those tests on me, I answer calmly more like the article than like the funny lines I read in some comments. If you joke on her, it is obvious you are there for fun but not for a relationship.
I prefer walk away instead of using tricks. What would be the value of a relationship based on that kind of Game?
And if you are there for fun, you do not arrive at the stage of those “shit” tests.
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I like zeta game because it appears to me as a great modification of regular game to make it consistent with basic Christian principles of integrity and humanity (“Do unto others as you would have them do to you”), so you can use game as still live in good conscience. I suspect, however, using zeta game to cull the mostly unacceptable Western females to find that one good one will render you largely celibate. The sad thing is that most American women are entitled, manipulative princesses so that using zeta game and being largely celibate in the process is better than dating an entitled harridan and being largely unhappy.
Keep up the definition and explanation of zeta game, Paul. I think you are onto something big here.
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‘zeta game’ has already been done. there’s a book on it by alan roger currie called “mode one”—two books in fact. both are good reads.
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greyghost-”No bitch is too good to throw back. Once you understand it it works fine. I think some of you know where this is going. No love allowed.”
I don’t have the capacity to love a woman anymore so this is fine with me.
But I think it also depends on what kind of love you choose to engage in. I may be fooling myself, but I would like to believe that you can love a woman in a way that does not threaten to turn you into a utility. It may be a different concept of love than most of us are familiar with.
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Novel angle on a re-surfacing issue.
Very well thought out, reasoned and written article, Mr. PE.
Sun Tzu principle at work: Know yourself and your enemy (paramour; whatever) and you will win (manage) 100% of your battles (relations).
(Alternative summary for the jokers out there, “Hey Princess…get me a beer”).
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paul elam wrote:
“It may seem like things have been this way forever, but it has only reached really DANGEROUS proportions in recent times.”
If not hyperbole, and you truly believe events have degenerated into ACTUAL danger – what do you then do when the Huns are at the gates? What has been the prudent, historical response to REAL danger in the past?
Certainly not drum-beating.
“It was Roissy, if I am not mistaken, that coined the term “shit test.”
You are mistaken. Even though our avuncular messiah deserves credit for everything, don’t forget “shit test” goes back to Mystery, Tyler Durden or any of their faceless minions grinding away on keyboards in The Good Old Days.
Mr. Price
when in the holy, living fuck do we get these articles in forum format, enabling commenters to use quotes and italics?
thx
f
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I think the common denominator amongst us the contributors to this topic is this:
we have been, or continue to be, involved in a mind-numbing, nerve-wracking, senses rattling, principle-questioning ‘situation’ with feminists and/or manginas.
I further submit that this can be the explanation for a lot of our shortcomings. But to break free of those shackles would take monumental change. For starters though, I think I’ll carry on and stick to my principles.
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I am with Zed on this one completely. The dangers we face from women are largely the ones we allow. That is why men’s “rights” as a movement, is an understandable misnomer.
Our rights, and we still have quite a few of them actually, are simple enough to protect with our own choices. I can’t protect yours, but I sure as hell can keep a good watch over mine.
All it requires is a really cautious and unforgiving approach to women.
Tell her you’re something called a “men’s rights activist”.
When she asks what that is, tell her to look at this site and many of the others. Tell her its about reclaiming the legal and political power feminists have won for all women. Explain to her what “equality” really means.
There’s no need to skirt around any initial shit test or “frame”. If she agrees with you that feminism has been bad and that fathers are treated like dirt, she won’t need to be “gamed”. You’ll have won before you started.
Be forewarned though, that admitting you’re anti-feminism/MRA, is akin to revealing to her you’re a member of the KKK or NAMBLA. It probably won’t go over well in the majority of cases. I hide my anti-feminist books like a teenager hides his porn.
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Why would anyone want an LTR with someone they can’t be honest with?
I can’t say whether or not the average female expectation of her male is that he will be thinking about her while he’s hanging out with his friends, or that she would feel victimized if he spent time with them – I find that beyond weird and unreasonable, but possibly true – I’m just too out of touch with average modern females to know.
Nevertheless, I am a woman and I, and the women I know, would consider it pathetic for our husbands to lie about what he was doing with his buddies, first and foremost because it’s un-masculine that he couldn’t own up to it and felt compelled to lie about it, second, because he’s the guy, if he wants to stay out all night and drink or whatever he shouldn’t feel like he has to apologize or answer to us for it. He’s a big boy, knows what’s right and wrong, he has to manage his own salvation. If any guy even remotely feels like he has to answer to his female counterpart for what he does, he needs to either jump ship or flip the power tables.
I thought your idea of telling a female LTR interest straight up about being against feminism a great idea. It’s probably the fastest way to cull through all of the crap before getting emotionally attached and risking involvement.
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””Keyster September 6, 2010 at 17:32
Tell her you’re something called a “men’s rights activist”.”””
Verbatim, outright copying of “women’s rights activist” is beta, uninspired, and about as wussy as it gets.
MEN think up their OWN clever phrases and terminology – after they have met the more difficult challenge of actually achieving the victory of ideals.
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Keyster-”Be forewarned though, that admitting you’re anti-feminism/MRA, is akin to revealing to her you’re a member of the KKK or NAMBLA. It probably won’t go over well in the majority of cases. I hide my anti-feminist books like a teenager hides his porn.”
I don’t make a point of telling women I am anti-feminism, but I don’t hide it either. In my view, you can’t lose by being honest about it. If she refuses to spend time with you based on that, you probably just dodged a bullet. If she’s ok with it, you’ve found a rare woman who *might* actually have some worthwhile perspectives on the world.
Trent13-”Why would anyone want an LTR with someone they can’t be honest with? I’m just too out of touch with average modern females to know.”
The average modern female will still submit to a really dominant male. But she sees every other man as a jar of Silly Putty to be rolled, shaped, sculpted, and casually thrown away if desired. The pressure on a boyfriend is constant and vicious, and is often a challenge even for men who know what they are doing.
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” second, because he’s the guy, if he wants to stay out all night and drink or whatever he shouldn’t feel like he has to apologize or answer to us for it”
So true, Trent 13. If staying out all night and drinking is what he wants to do then the poor man has obviously married a shrewish virago.
The more time spent away from her the better!
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She: “I deserve a man who will give up a stupid game of basketball to be with me.”
Me: ” You deserve…?? Says who?”
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