This Story Has Everything

by Featured Guest on June 30, 2010

[Today's guest post written by MB]

The Daily Mail reports that Jennifer Capriati recently attempted suicide.  This story has absolutely everything – the special snowflake, entitlement syndrome, girrrl power, the Alpha bad boy and finally the Wile E. Coyote moment.  There must be a rejected nice guy in there somewhere but the Daily Mail skips that part of the story.  Let’s take a look.

“Capriati had a glittering career as a teenage prodigy after bursting on to the tennis circuit aged 14.  She was hailed at future champion (sic) and had four successful years, including reaching the Wimbledon semi-finals in 1991 when she was 15-years-old.”

Special snowflake.  So far so good.

“But at the age of 18 she went off the rails with arrests for shoplifting and drugs.”

Entitlement syndrome.

“After a spell in a Miami Beach drug rehab centre she relaunched her career and went on to win the Australian Open in 2002 by beating the world No 1 Martina Hingis.  Months later she won the French Open and went to reach the Wimbledon semi finals.”

Girrrl power.

“Her career came to an end in 2005 due to shoulder and back injuries.”

Interesting.  One thing the feminists somehow fail to mention to young women in their pursuit of girrrl power is just how much more susceptible women are to sports injuries than men.  For example, take a good look at the knees of men and women.  A man’s knee is bulky, the joint capsule and associated ligaments strongly braced by the surrounding muscles while a woman’s knee is much narrower.  Due to this and other musculoskeletal differences, women suffer sports injuries at a higher rate than men with the incidence of ACL (knee ligament) injuries much higher in women.

“Adult film actor Dale DaBone, 34, dated Capriati from 2003-2009.”

Dale DaBone.  DaBone.  Aha.  Ahahaha.  Da.  Bone.  Dated Jennifer from when she was 27 to 33.  Do I need to spell out Da Bone’s role in this medieval morality play?

“Former tennis star Jennifer Capriati is reported to have attempted suicide after becoming depressed over her failed career.”

Wile E. Coyote.  Jennifer is 34.

“Today a former boyfriend told celebrity website TMZ that Capriati had been depressed over her failed career……..He said that her emotional state may have been heightened by his decision to return to his porn career.  He told the website that he had spoken with Capriati at hospital and said she was ‘hysterical’ over his decision.”

So..….looks like Jennifer tried to make Da Bone choose between his career and her.  Might have worked when she was 23.

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