Jokes About Men

by Featured Guest on February 6, 2010

At what point do we laugh at ourselves? This is the question Avidlearner89 asks on the forums.

I admit I am fairly new to the MRM, ive been doing a bit of research, and the one thing I keep asking is, where do we draw the line between sexism and humor? I know weve probably all made our fair share of jokes about women which the most extreme feminist would call sexist. If we are going to dish it out we have to take it as well. I would say “Everybody Loves Raymond” is a bit too extreme for me (but i love the chemistry between doris roberts and peter boyle and its a great example of women wanting to be in control and expecting men to do the dirty work) but a joke here and there about men is not a huge deal to me. anyone else feel the same way?

Here’s my reply:
I will joke about things with my girlfriend because she’s pro-men’s rights and well aware of my stance on things. She’s also black and we joke about race as well. Would I joke about race with just anyone? Probably not. Would I joke about men with just anyone? Probably not. It depends. The fact is that most jokes about men are just a cushion for misandry.

Let me be more specific. I searched Google for “jokes about men” and the first result is here: http://www.jokesaboutmen.net/

Every joke here is either at the expense of men based on widely held misconceptions about them or a thinly veiled complaint about how women are “oppressed” by men and women don’t need men. They’re really all about hatred of men AKA misandry.

On the other hand, I dug up this old joke from years ago. I don’t find it offensive to point out the amusing differences between the genders at all, and I do so myself frequently, usually followed by an explanation as to why men are the way they are and why that’s a GOOD thing.

HOW MEN AND WOMEN SHOWER DIFFERENTLY . . .

How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. Wash your hair again to make sure it’s clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair. Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the ‘woo-woo’ sound. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt. Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time. Admire wiener size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the ‘woo-woo’ sound again. Throw wet towel on bed.

Super Bowl weekend seems a little slow around here but heck, I got a great idea for this blog entry just out of reading the forums.

I’d encourage you to add your own reply to Avidlearner89′s forum post here: At what point do we laugh at ourselves?

{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }

Xamuel February 6, 2010 at 17:51

I’m not so concerned about “joke websites”… you can look up joke websites about absolutely any demographic and find them in abundance… Irish jokes, English jokes, jokes about lawyers, jokes about blonds… (in fact, the jokes about blonds are usually about *female* blonds anyway).

What’s really inexcusable is the more subtle anti-male bias in TV humor. The husband is a clumsy stupid idiot, the wife is the only one keeping everything from falling apart… it’s so cliche by now, how does it even still sell? Oh yeah..

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Jay Hammers February 6, 2010 at 18:27

Yeah, just look at the sitcoms like Everybody Loves Raymond, The King of Queens, and the endless list of clones. Hot bitchy wife, dumb/immature/pussy-whipped husband.

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Avenger February 6, 2010 at 18:46

The male and female shower joke may be funny but in reality it is men who are neater than women. Men are always portrayed as slobs on TV and in films but you only have to look at real bachelor’s or divorced men’s homes and compare them to their female counterpart to see who the real slob is. I’m talking here about the average man vs.the average woman. Sure, there are some men who live in junk filled messy houses but these are the exceptions and they’re usually mentally unbalanced and don’t even come close to the crazy cat women types.There don’t seem to be just normal orderly females around and if you do find one she’s almost always a neurotic compulsive cleaner.

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Nemo February 6, 2010 at 18:49

Part of the problem with American “humor” is political correctness.

If you can’t joke about women, minorities, non-Christians, or homosexuals, then who ARE you allowed to poke fun at?

Heterosexual white male Christians. They are usually the butt of most jokes.

Does anyone sense an agenda here?

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Rebel February 6, 2010 at 19:14

I love humor George Carlin style. He is my favorite iconoclast.

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Harry February 6, 2010 at 19:18

I suspect that even most of you here cannot perceive just how deep and pervasive is the humour that endorses the notion that hurting men is funny.

It is almost to be found everywhere in the mainstream. And it is continually pouring out.

Just watch a discussion to do with history, for example, and take good note of how, say, the deaths of men are often treated with humour. Not necessarily overt humour. Perhaps just a smile as, say, they describe some man getting his head chopped off for some reason.

A few weeks ago I had a friend round for the evening, and I blew off some remark over something some woman had said on the news.

“You’re becoming too sensitive,” he said to me – which p*ssed me off enormously. So, throughout the evening of TV watching, I pointed out all the sneaky biases that cropped up – ranging from a guy being kicked in the testicles by another man as just part of his ‘JUSTIFIED punishment’ for slapping a woman ONCE, to a brief comment by a woman that a man ‘s genitals are ugly.

By the end of the evening, he began to see what I was talking about, because there must have been about 12 instances which revealed a highly prejudiced attitude towards men which would NEVER have been tolerated if directed at women.

My GUESS is that even frequenters of this most excellent website will tend to miss the true extent and depth of the misandry that pervades the ether.

It REALLY is relentless and persistent.

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Toby February 6, 2010 at 19:24

I am entering the t-shirt slogans business.

“I am cunt woman, hear me SQUUUAAWK”

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GrimmNoir February 6, 2010 at 20:22

Here’s another one….

“I am bitch, hear me BARK.”

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GrimmNoir February 6, 2010 at 20:32

And furthermore…..

If they can laugh at violence against men…..

Then, we can laugh at THIS.

LOL….

That shit never gets old.

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avidlearner89 February 6, 2010 at 20:35

woohoo! my idea made it out here

and Nemo, that is valid, that white men being the but of jokes is the norm and its something to complain about, but we cant be the only group that shouldnt be mocked either….

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Jay Hammers February 6, 2010 at 20:36

“It REALLY is relentless and persistent.” Indeed, and the word I often use for the misandry that abounds is “pervasive”. It gets the point across.

It is really amazing how pervasive misandry is in the media.

Case in point: ABC Family

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Jay Hammers February 6, 2010 at 20:40

Only 10 minutes into SNL and a kid already hits a man in the genitals. Amazing!

And again, 2 minutes later.

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sharpcool February 6, 2010 at 20:42

It’s good to maintain a sense of humor and not take everything seriously, wouldn’t want to end up like one of those uptight, angry feminist man-haters, which by the way is one of the reasons I don’t hate women. Actually I still enjoy and adore them sometimes.

The problem is seeing the exact same type of humor directed at men over and over. I can’t take one more second of the dumb guy shtick. Most people raved about the movie The Hangover but I rolled my eyes through the whole thing. One character had intelligence barely above a baboon, and another was a pussy deathly afraid of his wife (he did put her in her place at the end though).

Then we have the Apatow movies, like Knocked Up. Do you see the guys in these Apatow movies? Clowns, morons, barely functioning goofballs. And then then there was this debate about this movie being misogynist or something. What! Paul Rudd’s wife is verbally abusive and treats him like absolute garbage. The mindset is that he “deserves” it because…he’s a guy I guess. He seemed like a decent husband.

I’d like to visit an advertising firm in NYC, walk into the board room and smack these morons in the face. Another commercial with the goofball husband and the smart, pretty wife who has to tolerate this goon? Again? You unimaginative, talentless losers. Think of something knew. People still laugh at that shit?

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Jay Hammers February 6, 2010 at 21:03

“The problem is seeing the exact same type of humor directed at men over and over. I can’t take one more second of the dumb guy shtick. Most people raved about the movie The Hangover but I rolled my eyes through the whole thing. One character had intelligence barely above a baboon, and another was a pussy deathly afraid of his wife (he did put her in her place at the end though).”

Well, if it were four girls there’s a good chance there would have been a ditz and a woman tied to her husband overmuch. I didn’t think the stupid guy was supposed to portray men in general as imbeciles, and it was nice to see a movie recognize that bitchy controlling feminists are evil people and that men should stand up to them.

You’re probably right about Knocked Up though I haven’t seen it in a while. I seem to recall the main character, who always plays a fat lazy slob, playing a fat lazy slob who strives to “better himself” to be “worthy of” the hot, bitchy, conceited, career-oriented, blonde woman.

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knucklesamich February 6, 2010 at 21:08

@Jay Hammers

“Only 10 minutes into SNL and a kid already hits a man in the genitals. Amazing!

And again, 2 minutes later.”

I wonder if we’ll ever see something like this passed off on SNL. Imagine the shit storm that would ensue.

Also, this is my first post so apologies if I mis-formatted the link.

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Robin February 7, 2010 at 03:43

It’s not so much the humour I dislike, it’s the hipocrisy which means that if a similar joke was made about women there would be an uproar.

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Capt No Marriage February 7, 2010 at 04:44

The joke websites don’t really bother me either, its more of the overall view of men. For example a single mother can tell her kid that “his daddy ain’t sh*t”, but if a man were to publicly make that statement about an unemployed, living off the system single mother, he would be vilified.

When I grew up I had action heroes like Arnold, Chuck Norris, The Death Wish movies, and on TV I had Magnum PI (great show) and The A Team. Hell nowadays the James Bond character is just a shell of its former glory. Today young boys have nothing, just a bunch of PC dancing monkeys on the tube.

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GlobalMan February 7, 2010 at 08:03

Harry February 6, 2010 at 19:18
“I suspect that even most of you here cannot perceive just how deep and pervasive is the humour that endorses the notion that hurting men is funny.”
Correct, by masquerading harm and injury by ‘humour’ women are being brainwashed into believing it is ok to use violence against men and that violence against men in all situations is pretty much ok….along with attempts to humiliate and demean. My ex used to often attempt to put me down in front of friends. I would laugh at it in front of friends so as to not make a scene and then privately tell her that she took a vow to ‘honour’ her husband and insulting me in front of friends does not cut it. She would ‘laugh it off’ as ‘but one of the things I like about you is how you have the ability to laugh at yourself’ and she would keep doing it no matter I asked her to stop.

In the end, of course, the result is that she destroyed her respect for me and could not longer maintain her relationship with me. Bad luck to her!

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Jay Hammers February 7, 2010 at 11:04

“When I grew up I had action heroes like Arnold, Chuck Norris, The Death Wish movies, and on TV I had Magnum PI (great show) and The A Team. Hell nowadays the James Bond character is just a shell of its former glory. Today young boys have nothing, just a bunch of PC dancing monkeys on the tube.”

Yeah, it seems like every macho man today in movies is also a feminist.

And yes, Globalman, it’s amazing to me how many women are like that. I’d say 95% but I may be dipping too low.

I think about every woman I know at work and I can recall an instance where each one of them said something derisive of men. They all expect men to take care of them in some way and men who are not willing to do so, who do not meet their insane requirements, they chastise. And these are women who by all accounts should be able to take care of themselves. They aren’t poor. For these women, everything really is about them.

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Gunslingergregi February 7, 2010 at 12:17

Shit tv has always been shit I am thinking. Just saw a little bit of andy griffith show and it was about some chick who wanted to run for city council. She was on a picnic with andy and he said her ideas were silly or whatever and had to make a big show of acting dumb and apologizing because he was supposed to kiss her ass because she was a woman. This show is black and white from the 60′s. Other times I catach bit of crap before changing channel on old movies you have the same shit. This crap about kissing womans ass for being woman has been on the tube for a long time. Do you think the normal people dreamed of a career wearing makeup in the old movies?

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Gunslingergregi February 7, 2010 at 12:35

Although within last 10 years there have been a shitload of guys kissing other guys in movies with nothing to do with the plotline. Course this may have been happening for a while. Comes down to what actually macho guy is gonna act in a movie? Comes out of nowhere and obliously for a reason. Jack black movie where the drill seargent from full medal jacket kissed another dude and nothing to do with movie. I guess maybe he was promised his own show to do it or something. Then the mandatory kiddy movie that every action star must make at the pinnacle of career. For instance the tooth fairy movie where whats his name dresses up in some gay clothes. They even got mel gibson to dress up like a woman in a movie. Do you think gibson did it for money or was he told he was gonna do that? Kindergarden Cop.

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Gunslingergregi February 7, 2010 at 12:36

Oh yea and bruce willis kissing another dude on the jackel.

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Gunslingergregi February 7, 2010 at 13:03

Oh yea and bruce willis kissing another dude on the jackel.
Ooops, should have added good post! Waiting on your next one!

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sharpcool February 7, 2010 at 13:29

G: Although within last 10 years there have been a shitload of guys kissing other guys in movies with nothing to do with the plotline.

I have noticed this and it annoys me. It’s part of Hollywood’s agenda to push gayness onto men, which isn’t surprising considering the gay mafia there. We haven’t really seen an increase of girls kissing, meanwhile that’s what guys wants to see. That would please guys though, and anything that is good for guys can’t be done. I guess that would be sexist or something. (although girls like lesbians too but they’ll never admit it because they’re full of shit).

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Justus February 7, 2010 at 15:28

Jay, here’s the video version to your showering joke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qehxjub5lyo

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mgtow February 8, 2010 at 05:29

What’s wrong with sexism? Men > Women, that’s how the world works. Gender equality? Just bullshit.

Let’s laugh at women and at ‘sexist’ jokes, and be unapologetic about it. Forget about the misandrist sitcoms, ads, ‘kick his balls’ jokes.

Laugh at women. Laugh at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWAvzNHWKQE

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Krauser February 8, 2010 at 08:12

I’ve really been standing up to this of late. My mother is in the habit of forwarding email jokes to me. About half of them are straight out misandrist so I fire back pointing this out. I think it’s working.

When girls say misandrist jokes, I counter immediately. Normally with humour but even if I sound like a prissy killjoy I’d rather do that than let it lie.

I’m currently waging a one man war against misandrist humour around me. It just really pisses me off. I’ve also completely unburdened myself of my reticence in calling a spade a spade. Previously if I was asked to opine on slutty behaviour I’d sugar coat the response. Now I just say the woman in question is a slut. Surprising how brief the counter-challenge is when I’ve determined to hold my ground.

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Keoni Galt February 8, 2010 at 16:00

Amen Krauser…I do the same in my own life.

As for jokes – I think really good gender jokes that highlight the differences in the way men and women look at the same thing and have entirely different perceptions.

Here’s an old one I recall – it was called: Diaries: His and Her entries.

Her: The boyfriend and I went to the University football game today and we had a great time. We had lots of great food at the tailgate party, and all of the girls and I had a great time talking while the men drank beer and grilled. We were having such an enjoyable afternoon! The weather was perfect, all my girlfriends and their boyfriends were there…the whole gang! It was some party! We were, laughing, eating, telling jokes, a great time had by all! And the game…we all lost our voices yelling in support of our team. Even though our team lost the game, we all had a great time on a beautiful fall afternoon. I can’t wait until we do it all over again at next weeks game. I love that my boyfriend and I can do so many wonderful and fun activities together…but something went wrong that night, and I don’t understand what!

As we drove home, he wouldn’t say a word to me. When I tried to ask him what was the matter, he just grunted and simply ignored me…I don’t know what was going on! He had this really angry look, and when I asked him why he wouldn’t talk to me, he just turned up the car radio and ignored me. I don’t know what i did wrong? Did I flirt a little too much with his friends at the game? Is he thinking of breaking up with me? We’ve only been living together for a few months now?! Is it all over?

When we got home from the game, he went to bed without saying a word to me. I wanted to see if he still had feelings for me, so I took off my clothes and jumped into bed with him and began to caress and kiss him. We made love…and it was fantastic. But as soon as we were done, he rolled over and fell asleep without saying a word. Oh my god, why is he so upset, cold and distant?

What did I do wrong? Is this end of our relationship? I feel like I’m dying inside!

HIS: Went to the game today. The tailgating was fun, but we lost to our biggest interstate Rival. Aaaaargggh! Our chance at the conference championship is gone! Today SUCKED ASS!

Ah well…at least I got laid before going to sleep.

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Firepower February 9, 2010 at 10:07

“Man Humor” is funny, it’s just that it’s been overdone for decades.

Decades.

We’re just sick of it and oversensitive – as we have every right to be.

Time for Feminist Humor – ala` Green Police.

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Sha October 7, 2010 at 08:58

One thing i will never understand is how funny is it really suppose to be when a Man is seen being kicked in his private parts?? all theses movies and serials and all !!!! I mean common now,..a woman making money as a prostitute is an insult to all the women,..
Lindsey Vonn(skier) posing on sports illustrated magazine (bent) in skiing-outfit is inappropriate and the issue is blown out of propertion …

…But watching a man beeing kicked in ballz is suppose to be funny… YEAH RIGHT !!!

what about our share of respect? what about our weakness to be respected? what about our rights? oh wait i forgot…we are men,..expendable assets wth no emotions…

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Peanut Butter July 12, 2012 at 19:29

There’s bias on both genders on TV and society. But most of that bias is against women however.

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An Anonymous October 23, 2012 at 20:27

To those who are getting tired of the bias against men on TV, imagine how the ‘Get back in the kitchen’ jokes feel to women. We’re all biased and blinded by our hormones so we only notice the injustice done to our own gender.

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Anon MKVII May 15, 2013 at 16:09

I for one, would like to suggest that we lose our caution when speaking and be completely open, with others admonishing us if we what we say is uncalled for. A lack of communication is one of the greatest problems we face in current society and desperately needs to be addressed.

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