Comments on: Tiger Woods and the Sex Addiction Scam http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/ Piercing the Shield of Ignorance Fri, 10 Sep 2010 05:46:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Linkage is Good for You: Unexpectedly Tasteful Edition | In Mala Fide http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-24241 Linkage is Good for You: Unexpectedly Tasteful Edition | In Mala Fide Sun, 24 Jan 2010 11:16:34 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-24241 [...] “Air New Zealand in Trouble With Women’s Groups Over Cougar Campaign“, “Tiger Woods and the Sex Addiction Scam“, “Taking the Cougar Trend Way Too Far“, “It Isn’t Just the [...] [...] “Air New Zealand in Trouble With Women’s Groups Over Cougar Campaign“, “Tiger Woods and the Sex Addiction Scam“, “Taking the Cougar Trend Way Too Far“, “It Isn’t Just the [...]

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]]> By: Don L. Mathews MFT http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23778 Don L. Mathews MFT Sat, 23 Jan 2010 02:08:12 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23778 Thank you for most of the posts. Not the name calling, swearing, put down posts. Criticism and disagreement are fine. I do accept blame for the grammer errors... I'm not an English major. My guess is the abusive responses and the focus on my sloppy grammer were an easy way for some of you to disregard the substance of my post about Sex Addiction. Alcoholism was thought of as just 'bad' immoral behavior 80 years ago. There is some hard scientific evidence (MNL mentioned some in his thoughtful post) on why some people have difficulty making good decisions with their own sexual behaviors. There is some gender basis to this. Men have less connections between the right and left hemispheres so non-relational sex is more likely including 'body parting' objectifications, anonymous encounters etc. It is both natural and at times problematic. Women because of the right brain/left brain hemisheric connectedness have more romantic or 'love' addictions. 'Love' addiction, of course, is not a clinical term but a discriptive term Woman read pulp novels and soap opera dramas much more than men. Many people have a concern over the term 'sex addiction' because it sounds like therapists are now the new 'moral' police hence the hostility toward my post. My job as a therapist is to help people with their problematic sexual behaviors. If you like polygamy for instance, that is your choice. It's not a clinical issue. It does not mean you are a 'sex addict'. If you have a long standing pattern of failed relationships, being trustworthy and it appears related to your sexual behaviors I would as your therapist explore that with you. Sex addicts really don't have alot of control at times. Sex addicts are not liberated by their behaviors. They are driven compulsively and destructively. They are lost in part of their brain that doesn't think well. An MRI would show this. The 'high' from sex can, as any pleasureable emotion, be used as a defense against other more unpleasant feelings. When this is done in a fashion that causes major life problems. I call that sex addiction because it is most understood (and misunderstood). Sex addiction is not nor will it ever be... a clinical term. It is discriptive, overused, popular term. The clinical term will most likely be coming out in the next DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Psychiatrists). The term will be, from my sources, ..Hypersexuality. Changing the term won't help much in ending the many controversies of human sexual behaviors....clinically or in the general public. It is quite simplistic to think of sexual behaviors as just immoral or liberating sex. Thank you for most of the posts. Not the name calling, swearing, put down posts. Criticism and disagreement are fine. I do accept blame for the grammer errors… I’m not an English major.
My guess is the abusive responses and the focus on my sloppy grammer were an easy way for some of you to disregard the substance of my post about Sex Addiction. Alcoholism was thought of as just ‘bad’ immoral behavior 80 years ago. There is some hard scientific evidence (MNL mentioned some in his thoughtful post) on why some people have difficulty making good decisions with their own sexual behaviors. There is some gender basis to this. Men have less connections between the right and left hemispheres so non-relational sex is more likely including ‘body parting’ objectifications, anonymous encounters etc. It is both natural and at times problematic. Women because of the right brain/left brain hemisheric connectedness have more romantic or ‘love’ addictions. ‘Love’ addiction, of course, is not a clinical term but a discriptive term Woman read pulp novels and soap opera dramas much more than men.
Many people have a concern over the term ‘sex addiction’ because it sounds like therapists are now the new ‘moral’ police hence the hostility toward my post. My job as a therapist is to help people with their problematic sexual behaviors. If you like polygamy for instance, that is your choice. It’s not a clinical issue. It does not mean you are a ‘sex addict’. If you have a long standing pattern of failed relationships, being trustworthy and it appears related to your sexual behaviors I would as your therapist explore that with you. Sex addicts really don’t have alot of control at times. Sex addicts are not liberated by their behaviors. They are driven compulsively and destructively. They are lost in part of their brain that doesn’t think well. An MRI would show this. The ‘high’ from sex can, as any pleasureable emotion, be used as a defense against other more unpleasant feelings. When this is done in a fashion that causes major life problems. I call that sex addiction because it is most understood (and misunderstood). Sex addiction is not nor will it ever be… a clinical term. It is discriptive, overused, popular term. The clinical term will most likely be coming out in the next DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Psychiatrists). The term will be, from my sources, ..Hypersexuality. Changing the term won’t help much in ending the many controversies of human sexual behaviors….clinically or in the general public. It is quite simplistic to think of sexual behaviors as just immoral or liberating sex.

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]]> By: Anakin Niceguy http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23713 Anakin Niceguy Fri, 22 Jan 2010 23:07:18 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23713 @Don L. Matthews What Don doesn't tell you is many licensed mental health professionals, including in the AAMFT, are skeptical about the concept of "sex addiction." It especially becomes a sticking point when counseling hinges on subjective, non-clinical notions of what constitutes "acceptable" behavior. Oftentimes, morality about sex is best left to one's priest or pastor. Don's just one school of thought. Impulse control disorder? Maybe. Sex addiction, um ... maybe not. @Don L. Matthews

What Don doesn’t tell you is many licensed mental health professionals, including in the AAMFT, are skeptical about the concept of “sex addiction.” It especially becomes a sticking point when counseling hinges on subjective, non-clinical notions of what constitutes “acceptable” behavior. Oftentimes, morality about sex is best left to one’s priest or pastor. Don’s just one school of thought. Impulse control disorder? Maybe. Sex addiction, um … maybe not.

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]]> By: MNL http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23666 MNL Fri, 22 Jan 2010 21:26:13 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23666 Don, your perspective as an MFT and clinician is much appreciated--even if I don't agree with all your premises. You add a healthy perspective to the discussion and I hope you continue to share your thoughts here or in comments to other posts. I think that what some here (or at least myself) object to in particular regarding Tiger Woods' sex therapy includes... 1. The mis-application of the term, "addiction" in this case and the belief Tiger needs "therapy." I don't disagree that sexual behavior, including porn viewing can be habitual. Moreover, I've read (and don't disagree) that heavy porn viewing, for example, might even dull one's dopamine receptors--much the way opiates do--such that one needs a greater and greater stimulus (more porn or more exotic porn) to feel the same excitement. Whereas a generation ago, the mere viewing of an exposed titty gave a woody to your average teenager, perhaps it takes a bit more to do the same today. (One might also blame "<a href="http://www.misandryreview.com/biblical-manhood/2010/01/03/female-sexuality-ambient-porn-and-the-pink-wurlitzer/" rel="nofollow">ambient porn</a>" for this trend, but I digress). However, it's not at all clear that Tiger exhibits any abnormal display along these lines. I doubt his dopamine receptors are dulled through over-use of his mistresses. And his behavior is not truly maladaptive (assuming he wore protection). Rather, Tiger's guilty of doing just what furthered the species eons ago, of what King Solomon or others in authority have done, and what a great majority of men would do presently if they had the same power as Tiger does to effortlessly attract and bang many beautiful women. Rather, Tiger's behavior is dysfunctional only in the sense that it's in conflict with his wife's expectations and his marriage vows. That is, one can call Tiger selfish, indulgent, even hedonistic. One can call him a cad and a lying cheat. But one can't clinically diagnose him as a "sexual addict" anymore than one can call the same of any male with healthy testosterone levels. 2. There is a tendency among all professions--and not just psychologists--to view the world through their particular occupational lens. It's an example of the old, "when all you have is a hammer..." expression. Given a controversial event, the diagnosis of it routinely falls along professional lines. Hence, the sexual addiction industry--those who see sexual deviants day in/day out--will tend to apply their own professional schema to Tiger's exploits. If you own a sexual addiction clinic you can't help but view Tiger as a likely candidate for your brand of "treatment." 3. There's a one-side standard being applied here. It reveals an ugly, anti-male hegemony in regards to sex. Tiger's mistresses obviously had a sex drive. But the female desire to pursue and sleep with powerful rich men is considered an entirely natural, understandable thing. Their drive isn't shamed. Even better, it's called sexual freedom or even "empowerment" in feminist-speak. By contrast, Tiger's natural sex drive here is being labeled a pathology. It's so horrific and dysfunctional he needs to be isolated, medicated, and counseled before he's allowed back into the public sphere. Yet it takes two to screw. Where's the balance in that? Don, your perspective as an MFT and clinician is much appreciated–even if I don’t agree with all your premises. You add a healthy perspective to the discussion and I hope you continue to share your thoughts here or in comments to other posts. I think that what some here (or at least myself) object to in particular regarding Tiger Woods’ sex therapy includes…

1. The mis-application of the term, “addiction” in this case and the belief Tiger needs “therapy.” I don’t disagree that sexual behavior, including porn viewing can be habitual. Moreover, I’ve read (and don’t disagree) that heavy porn viewing, for example, might even dull one’s dopamine receptors–much the way opiates do–such that one needs a greater and greater stimulus (more porn or more exotic porn) to feel the same excitement. Whereas a generation ago, the mere viewing of an exposed titty gave a woody to your average teenager, perhaps it takes a bit more to do the same today. (One might also blame “ambient porn” for this trend, but I digress). However, it’s not at all clear that Tiger exhibits any abnormal display along these lines. I doubt his dopamine receptors are dulled through over-use of his mistresses. And his behavior is not truly maladaptive (assuming he wore protection). Rather, Tiger’s guilty of doing just what furthered the species eons ago, of what King Solomon or others in authority have done, and what a great majority of men would do presently if they had the same power as Tiger does to effortlessly attract and bang many beautiful women. Rather, Tiger’s behavior is dysfunctional only in the sense that it’s in conflict with his wife’s expectations and his marriage vows. That is, one can call Tiger selfish, indulgent, even hedonistic. One can call him a cad and a lying cheat. But one can’t clinically diagnose him as a “sexual addict” anymore than one can call the same of any male with healthy testosterone levels.

2. There is a tendency among all professions–and not just psychologists–to view the world through their particular occupational lens. It’s an example of the old, “when all you have is a hammer…” expression. Given a controversial event, the diagnosis of it routinely falls along professional lines. Hence, the sexual addiction industry–those who see sexual deviants day in/day out–will tend to apply their own professional schema to Tiger’s exploits. If you own a sexual addiction clinic you can’t help but view Tiger as a likely candidate for your brand of “treatment.”

3. There’s a one-side standard being applied here. It reveals an ugly, anti-male hegemony in regards to sex. Tiger’s mistresses obviously had a sex drive. But the female desire to pursue and sleep with powerful rich men is considered an entirely natural, understandable thing. Their drive isn’t shamed. Even better, it’s called sexual freedom or even “empowerment” in feminist-speak. By contrast, Tiger’s natural sex drive here is being labeled a pathology. It’s so horrific and dysfunctional he needs to be isolated, medicated, and counseled before he’s allowed back into the public sphere. Yet it takes two to screw. Where’s the balance in that?

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]]> By: Mrs. Pilgrim http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23508 Mrs. Pilgrim Fri, 22 Jan 2010 16:06:15 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23508 Dan wrote: "After all, if we relied on female desire alone there probably would be no population." Before giving you an interesting link, I will simply observe that wagering on that notion is not likely a good investment. The three little Pilgrims over here didn't emerge from heads of cabbage, you know... <a href="http://www.womensinfidelity.com/" rel="nofollow">Here</a>. This suggests strongly that it's not so much a physical lack of desire as it is a reality check--"Omigosh nowai, marriage isn't an effortless happily-ever-after!"--leading to an idiotic phase of feeling sorry for one's fluffy little self. Depression does unexpected things to a girl--and it's nobody's fault but her own, ultimately, for believing all that silly Nora Ephron-Cinderella-Jennifer Aniston baloney. Dan wrote: “After all, if we relied on female desire alone there probably would be no population.”

Before giving you an interesting link, I will simply observe that wagering on that notion is not likely a good investment. The three little Pilgrims over here didn’t emerge from heads of cabbage, you know…

Here. This suggests strongly that it’s not so much a physical lack of desire as it is a reality check–”Omigosh nowai, marriage isn’t an effortless happily-ever-after!”–leading to an idiotic phase of feeling sorry for one’s fluffy little self.

Depression does unexpected things to a girl–and it’s nobody’s fault but her own, ultimately, for believing all that silly Nora Ephron-Cinderella-Jennifer Aniston baloney.

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]]> By: The Caliph http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23442 The Caliph Fri, 22 Jan 2010 12:44:15 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23442 piercedhead January 21, 2010 at 18:01 Holy cow Don! When will marriage be in DSM IV as a mental disorder? GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! piercedhead January 21, 2010 at 18:01

Holy cow Don! When will marriage be in DSM IV as a mental disorder?

GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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]]> By: Snark http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23434 Snark Fri, 22 Jan 2010 11:09:34 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23434 <blockquote>Don, you lost me at “trustable”. All those years of edumacation and you’ve never heard the word “trustworthy”?</blockquote> For some reason, I'm not sure why, this made me laugh so hard.

Don, you lost me at “trustable”.

All those years of edumacation and you’ve never heard the word “trustworthy”?

For some reason, I’m not sure why, this made me laugh so hard.

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]]> By: nilk http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23432 nilk Fri, 22 Jan 2010 10:53:32 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23432 <blockquote>Most women would not want to marry to a man like Tiger Woods….no matter how much money and fame he had not just because of his sexual behaviors but because he is not<b> trustable</b>…..He lies.</blockquote> Don, you lost me at "trustable". All those years of edumacation and you've never heard the word "trustworthy"? I may be only a mere makeup artist, who never went to university, but ffs, man, you should know better! You should have stuck with business.

Most women would not want to marry to a man like Tiger Woods….no matter how much money and fame he had not just because of his sexual behaviors but because he is not trustable…..He lies.

Don, you lost me at “trustable”.

All those years of edumacation and you’ve never heard the word “trustworthy”?

I may be only a mere makeup artist, who never went to university, but ffs, man, you should know better!

You should have stuck with business.

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]]> By: Mr Terrific http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23414 Mr Terrific Fri, 22 Jan 2010 07:47:04 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23414 @firepower Michael Jackson was FALSELY accused. How else do you explain the 1st accuser's falling out with his father, and that same father's recent suicide? @firepower Michael Jackson was FALSELY accused. How else do you explain the 1st accuser’s falling out with his father, and that same father’s recent suicide?

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]]> By: ray http://www.the-spearhead.com/2010/01/21/tiger-woods-and-the-sex-addiction-scam/#comment-23349 ray Fri, 22 Jan 2010 04:23:05 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=3347#comment-23349 Is the writing of essays not part of the masters program in your neck of the woods Don? yeah Pierced our Don sounds more like primaDonna to me with English A obviously still in the future! hey uh Don, did you say that M.A. program had oral exams? :O) Is the writing of essays not part of the masters program in your neck of the woods Don?

yeah Pierced our Don sounds more like primaDonna to me

with English A obviously still in the future!

hey uh Don, did you say that M.A. program had oral exams? :O)

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