Is a Disabled Mother Better than an Able-Bodied Father?

Is a Disabled Mother Better than an Able-Bodied Father

by Jack Donovan on December 26, 2009

ABC News: “Quadriplegic Mother Fights for Custody of Son”

My father is handicapped. He had polio when he was extremely young. But he wasn’t babied, and he followed the Man Law that I believe a Spearhead commenter or writer recently summed up: “If you can do it, do it.” **

As a result, he’s a fully functioning adult with a limp, and most of the time I forget that he has a handicap at all. My dad and I have a great relationship and I obviously have no axe to grind with the disabled or handicapped. In fact, he has my admiration for having achieved more than many who had fewer disadvantages–and with less whining along the way.

But quadriplegic? That should be a no-brainer. If you’ve ever watched a kid under 10 years of age for over 15 minutes you know that this mother will need someone else’s assistance to care for this child on a daily basis. If the father wants custody and he’s not a complete fuck-up, he is hands down better equipped to care for a child than the quadriplegic mother. This should not be an issue. But apparently, it is.

This story–the fact that it’s even a story at all–seems to be a perfect mix of victim politics and mother-preference. It’s also a story designed to invoke empathy and emotion to trump common sense.


**This is so fundamental and conciseĀ  that I’m likely to repeat it, so thank you and please feel free to take credit when it is due.

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