What happened to Tiger Woods isn’t being taken seriously by most of our society. This is no surprise. One example of this is a skit from the most recent episode of Saturday Night Live. (The skit can be viewed on Hulu, which may not work if you are outside the US, or on Youtube.)
The only reaction to this video has been that it was in “poor taste” because Rhianna was the musical guest for that episode. However, the sketch itself is very interesting for what it tells us about the societal view of female on male domestic violence. In the skit, Elin is set off by very small things, such as Tiger Woods’ cell phone ringing. As it goes on, we are supposed to accept explanations for what is happening to Tiger Woods that are more and more implausible, such as Tiger Woods falling down a flight of stairs and throwing himself through a window, to Tiger Woods driving a car that he ran himself over with, etc. There is also a throwaway line about not blaming Cadillac for what happened with the car. Since female on male domestic violence isn’t taken seriously, someone else (Tiger Woods, General Motors, etc.) has to be blamed no matter how absurd. Throughout the skit, Tiger Woods makes comments about how strong Elin is, because supposedly she must be strong for any type of domestic violence to happen. This is not the case.
One reason that domestic violence against men is not taken seriously is that men on average are stronger than women. There are many problems with this idea. The most obvious is that men are afraid to defend themselves against women because they will be thrown in prison regardless of the actual circumstances. The advantage of strength can be nullified. One quick way of doing that is to pull out a gun. No matter how strong a man is, he isn’t going to stop a bullet. Knowledge of martial arts is another. Recently, there was the story of a “Mr. Zhang” in China who was constantly battered by his wife. She battered Mr. Zhang using Kung Fu, the martial art that she had practiced since she was a child. Evidently, domestic violence against men isn’t taken seriously in China either. Mr. Zhang was only able to get a contract stating that his wife would only batter him once a week. This contract was to be enforced by his in laws. Such a thing is absurd (but what can be expected from a woman who says that “she can’t help herself”) and shouldn’t be necessary. I’m not familiar with the Chinese legal code, but I’m certain assault and battery is illegal in China. Thus, this proves that domestic violence against men in China is treated in a similar manner as in the West.
Another example is Carolyn Brown of Louisiana, who poured boiling grits on her boyfriend while he was sleeping. As he was asleep his strength advantage was nullified. There are plenty of others, including Lorena Bobbit’s attack on her husband.
All the men I have mentioned so far have one thing in common: they are still alive. Phil Hartman wasn’t so lucky. You may remember Phil Hartman from TV shows such as Saturday Night Live and Newsradio and movies such as Three Amigos. Hartman had many problems with his poorly-behaved third wife, Brynn. She had been addicted to drugs and in and out of rehab several times. Brynn was known for having trouble controlling her anger and losing her temper to gain attention. This came to a head in 1998 when Brynn, while drunk and on coke, committed an act of domestic violence murdering Phil Hartman. With all of her problems, why didn’t Phil Hartman leave? Only Phil Hartman knows that, but some possibilities are that, despite the fact that Brynn had major substance abuse problems, a divorce court would have sided with her in distribution of assets. Even if that was the case, wouldn’t that have been worth it for Phil Hartman? He would recover. Probably, except they had two children. Given that women typically receive custody of children in divorce unless they’re eating the children, the children would have been stuck with Brynn and all of her problems. Phil Hartman wouldn’t have been there to protect his children. I would not be surprised if this is the reason that Phil Hartman never divorced Brynn, and led to his tragic death.
These men I have written about are all well known. Many men are suffering in silence as victims of domestic violence. It is now known that women are perpetrators in 50% of domestic violence incidents. Given that men aren’t likely to report women committing domestic violence against them, it’s safe to say that women commit more domestic violence than is reported. This is a deadly serious issue for millions of men, famous and ordinary alike.
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“What happened to Tiger Woods isn’t being taken seriously by most of our society.”
In this case it is not hard to see why. Look at the unfolding circumstances. What a circus. I do not feel sorry one iota for Woods. He made his bed, as did his wife.
Why didn’t he have the guts to report his wife for her violence?
He has money to burn. He is a fantastic golfer. He will always have money. He spent 65,000 on two high class hookers..chicken feed.
The guys I feel sorry for are the ones that are taken to the cleaners by their wives. They often struggle to see their kids and, to make ends meet. The wives know that the poor guys cannnot afford to visit their kids, as
they have been sucked dry.
Demoralising and demeaning.
As for Tiger Woods , “Cry me a river ” will ya!
Yes, it is said that men must suffer in silence. I remember when Lorena Bobbit cut off her husbands penis our society laughed at him. Women laughed and said “he had it coming” I don’t understand why women are given the authority to do such things…. It was even made into jokes for entertainment TV!
I WONDER HOW SOCIETY WOULD TREAT A MAN WHO CUT OF THE BREASTS OF HIS WIFE WITH GARDEN SHEARS!!!! Why must men suffer from abuse, domestic violence and misandry…….STOP IT PLEASE STOP…..WE MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!!!!!!!!!!!
I hurts me because I don’t respect women anymore. Collectively they act this way towards us and have changed laws to favor them in all regard. I just want to be left alone, I just want to go my own way..
So what. What does that have to do with being a victim of violence? So if Martha Stewart or Oprah get beat up by someone that makes it okay, right?
Woman; thy gender hath no logic.
True. Classic no-win situation for the man because the legal system has negated all of his options.
Who says He got beat up? Who says he was a victim?
Tiger himself did not press CHARGES!
That is my point.
Why didn’t he?
He had truckloads of dough. He could have enlisted the best lawyers in the country.
He should have. It was the right thing to do!
Not just for himself, but for all those men that have been victims of violence.
Kathy: victim blaming much?
It never ceases to amaze me how men are always found to be at guilt of something? Even if it takes the most ludicrous contortions of logic!
So you are blaming Tiger for not pressing charges, instead of blaming his wife for beating him up? And that is your “point”. You’ve got to be f*cking kidding me!!
“Who says He got beat up? Who says he was a victim?
Tiger himself did not press CHARGES!”
Him not pressing charges does not change the -facts- of what happened.
If a crime doesn’t get reported, it does not cease to be a crime. That’s crazy talk, Kathy. Crazy talk.
Pointing out that Tiger has abilities to defend himself legally that many men don’t isn’t “victim blaming” at all – that is, even assuming Tiger is a victim of DV.
Tiger seems to be acting major stupid here. Refusing to comment and now his dirty laundry is all over the place. Apologizing for his indescretions – and now wifey has a much better and more generous pre-nup.
I wish I could be more supportive of Tiger here – but not only do I think she didn’t come after him with club, I believe he’s cheated repeatedly since they were married. He doesn’t seem to be a good guy and he does seem to be acting either selfishly or stupidly. He’ll survive, but many men in his sitatuion that don’t have his billions suffer far worse and for far better reason.
Well, how can anyone accuse the wife of beating up the husband if he won’t press charges? Hence no victim.
We are not talking about other men here, just Woods.
It’s the principle involved.
If he does not press charges then the wife gets away with it.
Woods does no favors for other male victims of female violence.
He is a powerful celebrity sportsman who could do much to help other men who ADMIT that they ARE victims of violence.
Kathy – if I understand you correctly, you’re suggesting that Tiger’s immense wealth is an impediment to his desire to press for criminal charges? I can’t say for sure whether there is merit to this, but I am inclined to believe wealth is not a factor here. (Nor do I think wealth is a factor as to when women report dv to the police, either…unless it is the lack of wealth).
Hopefully Tiger’s kids didn’t see DV. I’ve read the statistics…
“Him not pressing charges does not change the -facts- of what happened.”
Okay Snark, I’ll bite.. What ARE the (proven) facts, really?
Kathy, re; your last post….
Your conclusion is right. Tiger has done little to protect his himself or address dv against men as committed by women.
But your premise, that Tiger woods is not a victim, is absurd. You even say that his wife is “getting away with it.” Getting away with what? Domestic Violence. And since you do agree that she has committed domestic violence, who is it against? Her husband, Tiger.
And yet, somehow you still conclude that a person who is on the receiving end of domestic violence is not a victim…
…that makes no sense. And you ‘bolster’ this nonsensical point by saying “it’s the principle involved.”
And what is this principle? That men who have money can’t possibly be victims if they don’t report an act of domestic violence committed against them?
Ugh….it’s too early for madness.
“Well, how can anyone accuse the wife of beating up the husband if he won’t press charges? Hence no victim.”
Let me see if I got you correctly: he didn’t press charges, so there is no crime.
Is that what you said?
So, if I kill my neighbour, he will not press charges, so there was no crime.
I love your logic, somehow. I can use it to my benefit. Thank you, Kathy.
j.d. what I am trying to say (not very well I think) is that Tiger has the money to fight this and win. Something that the average man does not have.
Just imagine if he took the wife to court and won. It would be worldwide news Not only that, it would be a victory for all men who have been victims of DV>
And to be honest, no I do not know for sure that Tiger Woods has been a victim of DV, I can only surmise. A person is innocent until proven guilty.
Tiger should take action if he was a victim, that is all I am saying.
“Martha Stewart or Oprah get beat up by someone that makes it okay, right?”
Have they beaten up any men?
@ Kathy.
I do understand, but speculation about what he can and cannot do because of his wealth is aside from the fact that he’s a victim of domestic violence. No amount of sleaziness on his part, no number of bedded porn stars, no amount of lying on his part changes this.
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/sports_blog/2009/12/jesper-parnevik-tiger-woods-elin-apology-affair-cheating.html
As Jasper says (another man-card to be revoked), she should have ‘used a driver instead of a 3 iron”. (An aside: i find it ironic that Tiger was being attacked with a club that bore his own name on it.)
But that point is that Tiger isn’t doing anything about this. Like you said, he could go to court, he could likely win. But a pyrric victory that would be!
If you’re unintentionally hitting on a point…it is that Tiger is likely handcuffed by society’s belief that a man cannot be a victim of domestic violence; particularly if he ‘forced’ Elin to swing a club at him as he was being chased out of his house in boxers….unable to leave in a peaceful manner.
@ Rebel: it’s an issue of probable cause. The police were trying to get some more information about the circumstances so that they could show probable cause that a crime had been committed (and therefore get hospital records).
problem is, this is difficult to do given the nature of the crime and given that Tiger, as a victim, is obviously unwilling to take the stand against his wife. (He likely blames himself for being a victim. Not untypical of how women react to DV too).
I don’t recommend you murdering your neighbor. This is not legal advice, but I do want to set the facts straight about how the process works.
“Well, how can anyone accuse the wife of beating up the husband if he won’t press charges? Hence no victim.”
The laws were changed in the 60s so that the victim didn’t HAVE to press charges because of the propensity of domestic violence victims to not want to press charges, and refuse to cooperate.
Can you imagine arguing that a woman is not a victim of D.V. because she doesn’t want to press charges? FEMINISTS SCREAM ABOUT THAT.
The State ignores that and goes forward anyway, because a crime had been committed.
Thanks for that info, Tally. I am not familiar with American law, and did not know that.
@Kathy: the disconnect you have is this; tiger is a victim (it’s been made quite clear, and if not that, all inferences lead to this conclusion fairly solidly); whether the State of Florida can prove this crime in court (not an easy thing to do when the victim is not willing to testify, is a completely separate issue not related to him actually being a victim. )
It’s like saying if a tree fell in the woods, it made no sound until we can actually prove it did.
… I’ve dealt with over ten instances this year of women not testifying against their abuser because they are worried about the repercussions of doing so: it’s a VERY unnerving sight. But that doesn’t change the fact that they’re still victims.
Can the Recession Save Marriage? asks the WSJ today:
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703558004574584042851448128.html
This is fucking ridiculus that there is no sympathy for Tiger!!
Female victims of DV not only often don’t report it, they actually defend their husband when the law trys to intervene!! So by your fucking misandric logic, all women who suffer from DV but don’t do anything about it, deserve it, and no crime was committed! Read that again. Then read it again. I don’t give a shit if Tiger can shoot lasers out of his eyes and has more money then Bill Gates, men, especially in relationships, particularly marraige, are often controlled and dominated by women. I’ve seen it plenty of times. Its not even rare.
Lets back up here. Lets start over. Is Tiger the victim of a serious crime, or is his wife the victim of a serious crime?
I’ve got to go to lunch, but this outta be straightened out, and in a profoundly more affective way by the time I get back. That bullshit logic of not feeling sorry for Tiger is just that..BULLSHIT! His wife could be an emotionally abusive, controlling psycho!! She comes from wealth and priveledge. I doubt she is a wilting fucking flower. Tigers just a fucking nerd who can play golf well. I don’t see him being Alpha with women just because he can pay for them and is good in bed. He may have women up on the highest of pedastals. Lets step back, and start over with some common sense.
Sorry, I’m a little late to the debate. My points have been made some already. Just riled up there for a second.
Kathy, there’s another point to consider regarding Tiger’s choice not to declare himself a victim here: Elin could claim that he started the incident by hitting her, and that she was using the golf club in self defense…her story would probably go something like:
I saw him get a middle of the night text message (or whatever actually started this incident) from an unknown woman, and chose to confront him about his cheating on me. Telling me to shut up, he hit me [or even just physically intimidated her]; to defend myself, I grabbed the closest thing I could find. His most recently used golf bag was still out, so I pulled a golf club out at random and held it up [or swung it at him, if there were injuries on Tiger to explain] in self defense. Seeing that I wasn’t going to just take his abuse, Tiger ran out of his house and to the car [audience pumps fists-- Grrl Power]. Worried that he might do something rash (I do, after all, still love him) I went out after him. I saw him hit into a fire hydrant and a tree [or the other order...she presumably knows which order since she was there] and then stop. In a panic, I ran over to the car–still holding the golf club–and tried to save him from the accident in the first way that came to mind: by pulling him out through the window closest to me, the rear window.
In the face of a speech like that, there is basically no evidence short of a witness with conflicting testimony (say, someone who saw her beat on him with the club after he got out of the car) that would make it possible to convict her–in a classic she-said, he said, she usually gets her way. She would win in court, she would win in the press, and she would win in the inevitable divorce over the “sordid affair”.
Tiger did everything he could to try to make the outcome be as far from this as possible; this has made him a laughingstock, but everyone will have forgotten about it in a few months if nothing more happens. A court case would have simply drawn out the ordeal, and would not have improved the outcome.
Ultimately, society didn’t give a rat’s ass about Nicole Brown Simpson, either – did they really now…
Nobody twisted Tiger Woods’ titty to marry a hot BLOND Swedish bikini model. Fuck him.
I feel sorry for the suburban chump who has to slave double shifts in a stamping plant to make his child support payments – and taxes – to pay for his kids – and fund welfare for some other bitch’s kids.
Face it: men are in fact, in deed, truly and REALLY 2nd Class citizens.
The double standard of law applied to them/us proves it.
Our fathers’ and grandfathers’ generation served us up on a platter and sacrificed our well-being to pay for their “sins” via social “programs” to aussage their consciences – and pay their bills with our future. Just as Social Security will.
The fem-media has done an exceptional job of reframing the incident to get it beck into their preferred narrative.
If the genders had been reversed, we would be hearing non-stop about how Men (without any “they’re not all like that”, of course) are the source of DV and more draconian laws and punishments must be enacted.
Instead we got a steady drumbeat of “Four legs good, two legs bad” chanting to derail and divert.
“But, he slept with other women!” “She’s prettier than the others.”
“She has children” “He deserved it”
Yadda, yenta and still more yada.
Even the assorted whores are made out to be “heroic” for speaking out and “Victims” of his lust. He is evil because he got sex from them, they are victims because they got cash and status from him.
What a load of crap.
SteveinTX
Kathy (and most other females) are providing a service, guys. You just have to listen. Her stretched “explanations” and defense of the likely DV against Tiger is instructive as to how the female sex at large deals with this issue. It’s almost a consensus even in our misandrist media that Tiger was likely attacked, and believe you me, if the sexes were reversed, the man would be arrested no questions asked. Anyone who doubts this is a dishonest liar (or idiot) who is entirely unworthy of being taken seriously.
And if you do a little searching around here, on another thread, Kathy posted that picture doing the rounds – the one showing a beat up Tiger, with the golf ball in his ear. Very telling, Kathy. She, and most women, never seem to get the hint about how poorly this reflects on their sex. Women, on the whole, support DV against men or are at best entirely indifferent. When this is pointed out, they don’t care and continue as if they haven’t been exposed. The (il)logical solipsism would be hilarious if there weren’t such dire real world consequences.
Kathy Farrelly December 11, 2009 at 4:31 am
“Why didn’t he have the guts to report his wife for her violence?”
Because he wouldn’t be taken seriously you idiot women. Fuck you women are stupid. What do you have on your ipod? Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out. I’m sick and tired of stupid women making stupid comments and no other of you faggots here have the balls to call these stupid women exactly what they are. If they are going to come here and clutter up the place then I claim the right to call them exactly what they are.
Kathy Farrelly December 11, 2009 at 7:32 am
“A person is innocent until proven guilty.”
Actually, not if he is a man you stupid cunt. Men, and I am one of them, are routinely incarcerated without even an allegation against them. Without even one written word on a piece of paper.
Now fuck off with your stupidity and ignorance. Men are talking.
“This is a deadly serious issue for millions of men, famous and ordinary alike.”
Which is a damned good reason why the women should be banned from the discussion. It is too important to be letting women talk. They have nothing useful to say.
Look, guys, Kathy is right.
Tiger has so much money that if Elin really smashed his teeth with a golf club, he could just buy himself some new teeth.
Similarly, if Elin smashes his kids with a golf club, he can just buy himself some new kids!
“I’m sick and tired of stupid women making stupid comments and no other of you faggots here have the balls to call these stupid women exactly what they are.”
Thats why I’m an advocate of yours, Globalman. And I’d like to hear more quotes from Dick Masterson. (Globie, you don’t mind if I call you Globie do you, do you think Dick Masterson is a bit of a persona he puts on to sell books and get publicity. That obviously isn’t his real name. He seems a bit over the top to be completely on the level. Not that it would invalidate his book, but maybe its more satire or parody to make a point, like Gulliver’s Travels. Thoughts?)
That’s the cold reality. They also tend to support capital punishment for men who kill their wives, and caring psychiatric treatment for women who kill their children. You need only go to a courtroom and see who’s cheering loudest when a death sentence for a man is read aloud, and who is most articulate in the defense of a woman who drowns all 5 of her children.
My question is, how many of us men ignor all the proof that life gives us growing up that women are violent, starting with our mother, sisters (think=joe biden ) t.v. chicks kicking guys in the balls constantly on every show as much as possible. And what is my typical observation from watching other guys reactions,…? They laugh ! And in doing so. Give consent to it being o.k. to treat a mans sexual assault with a disreguard that’s uncomprehendable by a person as myself…indeed, your deeds (laughter ) sew the seeds…you reap what you sew…so!
I’m just finishing the book “You still don’t understand” which suggests that chivalry and double standards might be in our genetics, and that giving women a pass just might be what’s best (or has been) for our reproductive success.
Their website has some interesting material on chivalry and chivalrous illusions: http://theoppositesex.info/chivalry.html
societal attitudes on abuse of women are changing though. Look at the crap peter griffin does to Meg in Family guy.
Kathy posted that picture doing the rounds – the one showing a beat up Tiger, with the golf ball in his ear.
No I did not Zeta!
It was actually posted by a male commenter. I posted a response to the pic which included a short joke. I also said that I had seen the pic before as my brother-in-law had sent it.
It has recently dawned on me, 15 years after the event, that the OJ Simpson murder case was NOT the race story it was made out to be, but rather a story about how unfair divorce laws could drive even a normal man to murder.
She divorced him, yet takes his house and has a boyfriend there? A lot of men would be driven to rage by that.
Murder is always wrong, but I think this wasn’t about ‘race’ at all, but rather unfair divorce laws. No one saw it at the time. Even OJ’s lawyers never went near this angle, trying to stoke *male* anger rather than *black* anger.
What tipped me off to this observation was Hulk Hogan, who is going through exactly the same thing, saying that he knows how OJ felt. SHE leaves, SHE takes HIS house, and SHE has a boyfriend there.
The problem was this was 1994. I bet if exactly the same OJ situation happened today (say….with Tiger Woods), it would finally blow the lid off of the unfairness of US divorce laws…
Puma,
One edit I would suggest to your wedded abyss site is the stat of females filing for divorce.
66-75% file, but the woman initiates in 90% of the time. This is in Devlin’s essays. She either moves out or has an affair or commits DV against the man.
So if you can find a way to work in the 90% reality rather than just the 66-75% formality, that would be more powerful of a point.
Plus, since you have a good one-page blog summary, I would encourage you to start blasting the URL out via Twitter or something.
(I only read some last comments here…)
females need to be altered/medicated in childhood as a step to replacing them with bio tech.
Males who can’t grasp that need to eliminated outright.
TFH – Thank you for the recommendations.
Let me see how I can work in that stat, tighten the essay, and get it out there more often.
Most unpleasant of all is the exponential feedback of misandric bias into the structures, that Rookh Kshatriya in the anglobitch thesis describes as non-linea and non-self correcting. That is on account of the reflexive and intrinsic anti-male bigotry of the systems operatives themselves. Operatives like policemen, male policy makers, social services, lawyers etc.
Beyond tiger woods abuse by his wife in the USA there are thousands of hidden and suppressed incidents of male victimisation all over the anglosphere.
Take for example this most disgusting, unpleasant and bigoted man-hater in the British police force : Chief Constable Brian Moore. In his misandrically warped and foaming mind, over 25,000 males have persistently come up in his systems as domestically violent, and should thus be permanently registered as problem persons. http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/wiltshire/hi/people_and_places/newsid_8376000/8376727.stm .
It never occured to bigoted policeman “Brian Moore” that the male discriminatory systems he eagerly serves and develops is itself capable of producing male discriminatory results.
“Brian Moore” if your systems selectively penalises only males experiencing domestic violence from females, whilst encouraging and incentivising female violence perpetrators as the only possible recognised victims, then of course you’ll perpetually see and recognise only one genders crime. Thats explicitly what you set out to see and recognise you dubious fool.
The following links suggest other things are happening concerning the violence males experience from females of which your deliberately discriminatory systems and personal gaze are unaware and disintrested in:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/health/newsid_7878000/7878801.stm
http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/health/newsid_7878000/7878698.stm
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=ap-bengals-henry&prov=ap&type=lgns
heres the Second Shoe dropping re famous athletes/domestic violence
the cops say that henry “came out of the back of the vehicle”
like it was all an Act of Nature
one second hes there then poof! next instant on the pavement, whatta Mystery!
at least both the AP sportswriter, and the headline writer, called it a “domestic dispute”
theyre gonna have a harder time explaining this one away
henry is still in ICU