Elin Nordegren: World’s Most Expensive Hooker?

by W.F. Price on December 10, 2009

The Tiger Woods affair has degenerated into what we all should have expected given what our society has become. A dozen women surrounding the golf star have emerged from the confines of their virtual harem, babbling and gesticulating to the gawking, gaping crowd, otherwise known as the audience, spilling truckloads of dirty laundry into the public square. In the meanwhile, Tiger Woods is still hiding out, presumably until his busted lip and broken tooth can be fixed and he can once again display his $110 million smile.

Tiger’s wife Elin, the blond Swedish bikini model, must have known what she was getting into when she married Tiger, because all women with at least a thimbleful of sense know that wealthy, famous men have options upon which they are widely known to act. Also, being a Swede, she knows well that adultery is common and rarely prosecuted; her homeland, in fact, was one of the pioneers in its decriminalization. Elin knew these things, but she liked being attached to a wealthy, famous man all the same because, well, that made her wealthy and famous.

Some may say that she loves Tiger Woods, but I’m not so sure most men really understand the nature of a woman’s love. If the behavior of liberated women is any indication, women do not so much love the man as they love what the man makes her. This is, perhaps, the biggest mistake men make in relationships: they believe that women love them in the same way that they love a woman. A man’s love is focused on something outside of himself, whereas a woman’s love is very closely connected to her feelings about herself. Given this fundamental difference, it was likely the shame brought on by tabloid exposés that sent Elin into a towering rage, triggering her violent attack on her husband. If she had suspected him of indiscretions before, and she probably did, she was willing to preserve his image in order to preserve her own. It is only when she was publicly shamed that she escalated the situation and created a public situation by going for the face, which is a socially aggressive form of violence that is deeply rooted in primate psychology.

If Elin was really only upset about Tiger’s violation of the marital trust, she could have made it perfectly clear that she would either forgive him for his adultery on the condition that he gave it up and lived as an honest husband, or leave him and move on with her life. She chose neither. Instead, Elin Nordegren chose to renegotiate the prenup she had worked out with Tiger, accepting an $80 million payoff to remain married to him for another seven years. With that act, she has shattered any illusions about her marriage having any purpose other than self-aggrandizement. I can only speculate as to why Tiger would agree to it, but I’ll assume that his hand being forced, he has decided that it is in his financial interests not to go through a divorce at this point, as the disclosures in a divorce suit would further tarnish the lucrative, wholesome public face that has so recently been beaten bloody. Whether this is the case or not, I think it is a bad move on his part. For all intents and purposes, his marriage is over. It would have been better for him to bite the bullet, endure a year or so of horror and then get on with life. Taking a stand and fighting back is the only sane option for men these days. The coward dies a thousand deaths, as they say.

One thing about the prenup that I would like to know is whether or not Tiger Woods is still entitled to sex with his wife under its terms, although I doubt he had the guts to make any such demand. If he did not, he is merely paying for discretion, but if so he is purchasing sexual services to the tune of $11 million/year, which would likely make Elin Nordegren the world’s highest earning sex worker. In all likelihood, he is buying a bit of both, which is precisely what men do when they pay prostitutes.

A number of commenters on The Spearhead have made the observation that marriage is now suitable mainly for the wealthy, and is fast becoming meaningless to all others. But if Tiger and Elin’s marriage is typical of the arrangement that the wealthy make, is it proper to call it “marriage” at all? Perhaps concubinage might be a better term, but even in that ancient custom we find a certain restraint on the part of the female in regards to demands, so it would be more accurate to view the new paradigm in its proper context: the unfettered commodification of sexuality on an open market. In short, it is prostitution.

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