If you look at the differences between who male’s in the military marry and who females do, you will see a huge difference in the relationship process. Most men in the military, have to make a conscious choice and effort to be with a person that they like, only 10% of the army is female. So the majority of men are forced to look elsewhere to find partners. We have to go out, and meet women in our off time (something that has become much more limited since the war started) and find one that interests us, and then make time to go and be with them. Often requiring us to make sacrifices in our personal and professional lives just to see if there is prospect of a good relationship. As a result, men are often less likely to engage in a less than optimal relationship as it takes a great deal of sacrifice to have, and 9 out of 10 won’t be involved with another service member based off of statistics alone.

The story for women in the military is an entirely different matter. In my 5 years, and 3 stints overseas, I have not seen one female marry, or even enter a relationship with someone who isn’t a fellow service member. You would think that being out numbered nine to one, that the military would be the perfect place for a woman to find a mate, but yet females have a divorce rate three times higher than their male counter-parts. There are several reasons why, but primarily its because most females engage in relationships based on the circumstances that they are in, not because of an active choice to spend time with someone that interests them. The overwhelming majority of females in the military simply are marrying the co-worker that they get to spend the most time with.

Another huge difference is not where men and women are choosing their mates, but when. Because males are usually forced to look outside of the service for a mate, we are also forced to look during our rotations back stateside. When we are at our most relaxed, secure, and lets be honest……mentally stable! Females however seem to make their choices in partners during deployments…. when you are the most stressed, lonely and mentally compromised. This often leads to deployment couplings that would never occur during peace time.

Because most of these couplings are happening during deployments, Females are actually being exposed to far less men than they normally would! Despite the military being a male dominated institution, females are very rarely in male dominated fields. If you kook at any brigade or task force sized element, between 80 to 90% of the females that belong to it are either in the HHC or FSC elements. And are often physically separated from their subordinate units which are male dominate or sometimes such as with the case of infantry and artillery units, male exclusive. This leaves women with a much smaller pool of people they know to draw from than what an outsider would think, where as stateside there are many more opportunities to mingle with both soldiers from other units, and civilians in the outside world.

The net result? Women who are stressed, lonely, and desperately wanting to be consoled, spending nearly every day isolated with a small group of men of are just as stressed, lonely, and just as desperate themselves. If you leave a man and a woman alone in a box long enough, they are going to fall in love, and relationships that wouldn’t last a month in the real world become marriages. Marriages that don’t survive once deployment ends and the box is opened.

So despite the over whelming adversity Males are having a much better success rate than females in the marriage department. While they generally have more fight loneliness more than their female counterparts, it forces most males to form relationships based on choice, during periods of calm and stability. While most women are forming relationships based on the circumstances of their isolation, and during periods or turmoil, and loneliness.

Military retirement is counted as joint property in divorce proceedings. That means the retirement the military member earned by staying active duty for 20+ years can be divided up with half going to the wife who didn’t sacrifice a day in her life. I say “her” because the vast majority of those benefiting from this Uniformed Services Former Spouses Protection Act are female.

I don’t know what the duration of marriage needs to be to get 50% of the retirement as I’ve been told it’s a graduated system (longer you’re together more the spouse gets), but I know it happens all the time which is what’s led to folks challenging it in recent years:

http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=49110
http://www.ulsg.org/

those service members making those savridices give u the right to sit here and say the stupid things u do. and they are stupid.

Well then, if we’re so stupid, maybe no one should be defending us.

The UK has already entered Stage 3, but they have so far managed to target politicians in a non-violent sort of way. I am talking about the F4J:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cy23GTNdAsw

Sometimes ridicule is a far more effective weapon.