Obama: Beta-in-Chief in 23,096 Words

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by Chuck Ross on October 29, 2009

Wow. I just noticed something. Our commander-in-chief is the least alpha of any of the leaders of our former enemies from World War II and the Cold War: Germany, Italy, and Russia. While I knew Obama exhibited beta behavior, I had no idea it was this bad. Give me a minute and I’ll lay out pictorial proof.

We all know that Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi holds the title of “Intergalactic Alpha”. The 73 year-old silverback is banging 18 year-olds, has amassed a fortune, laid the smack down on his wife, and avoided indictment and/or lynching for his shenanigans. Silvio has so firmly cemented his grip on the throne that his estate will receive royalties for use of the term alpha for 50 years after his death. The man is so alpha they’re thinking of changing the first letter of the Greek alphabet to Silvio.

In the realm of politics, ol’ Vlad Putin is Berlusconi’s rear admiral. The steely-eyed de facto Russian leader exhibits alpha body language and has his own sexcapades with a hot former gymnast 31 years his junior. He also owns Dmitri Medvedev, the current head of Russia. One only needs to observe the body language of each to realize it. Medvedev looks at his mentor with admiration, deference, and desire to please in his eyes. I will heretofore refer to him as “Fredo”.

                                                   

Medvedev isn’t owned solely by Putin; Berlusconi has property rights as well. Check out this picture in which Alpha 1 controls Medvedev’s frame, grasps his forearm, and teaches him the ways of the world: “…So you want to swirl; you can also end with a pinch.”

                                                        

Here he is literally controlling Medvedev.

                                       

And this.

                                    

While this picture doesn’t capture Berlusconi’s dominance of Medvedev – they seem to be having a serious discussion – pointing is an aggressive act that lesser men wouldn’t do to more dominant men. Medvedev feels the need to literally block Berlusconi’s aggression. Careful Fredo.

So Medvedev is pwned by both Berlusconi and Putin who happen to be on almost equal footing. They respect each other and seem to have a sort of father-son relationship. Berlusconi has developed close ties to Russia during his tenure. The incorrigible alphas behavior towards each other is the least superficial of any of the leaders I analyze here. Neither feels submissive towards the other – and neither dominant.

                                              

This shows Berlusconi’s comfort with Putin; it also shows that Berlusconi isn’t afraid to break normal social rules. We can say, at the least, that Berlusconi doesn’t feel threatened by Putin.

                                       

Would any other man in the world wipe the nose of Vladimir Putin?  Where do you think Gorbachev got that mark on his forehead?  The mark of an alpha is the ability to understand your surroundings and act properly.  Only a man with a deep reservoir of the stuff can act the way Silvio does and get away with it.

The wild card in my analysis is German Chancellor Angela Merkel. How does she respond to other world leaders? How does she react in the presence of Berlusconi, Putin, Medvedev, and Obama? She seems to have different relationships with our two established alphas.

Putin and Merkel:

                                   

We see that Merkel is comfortable around Putin. His alpha demeanor doesn’t seem to intimidate her or get her out of her frame.  The two look as if they are co-conspirators.

Merkel’s comfort is well-displayed by this next picture.

                                  

Look! She’s negging Vlad! “Is that caviar on your lapel?”  A person – female or not – wouldn’t feel comfortable making a direct gesture to another they felt intimidated by.

Merkel and Putin seem to have a good relationship on equal footing. She doesn’t seem intimidated by him and doesn’t exhibit submissive body language in his presence.  Putin doesn’t dominate Merkel in the same way he does Medvedev and Obama – as I’ll show later. Of course, Putin exhibits the stoicism of a corpse – something he likely learned in the KGB – so it can be difficult to glean his dominance from pictures.

On the other hand, Merkel seems to submissively defer to Berlusconi. She shows a coyishness around Alpha 1 that she doesn’t exhibit around other leaders. Last year, Berlusconi played a practical joke on Merkel by jumping out from behind a lamppost as she left her caravan. The Master shouted “Cuckoo!” to which Merkel responded “Silvio!” and emphatically embraced him. Check out the video through the link. Betas don’t play practical jokes on those higher up than them; this applies to the theory that alphas can afford to act outside the confines of normal social behavior.

                                  

In this picture, Merkel exhibits all of the submissiveness of Edith Bunker when Archie addresses her. Her slightly upturned lips and downward-tilted head indicates a large amount of panty moisture.

Berlusconi is also a master at displaying higher value – a trait inextricable from dominance. In the clip below, Berlusconi continues a phone call with NATO officials while Merkel is shown waiting to greet him. She looks on – perplexed – as Berlusconi continues chatting near the river. In international politics, this gesture is taken as a direct affront to the other leader; it is the international political version of a man showing up 10 minutes late for a date with a hot chick.  Casting aside the consequences of such behavior, this is further evidence that Berlusconi exhibits the most alpha behavior of any world leader. The body of evidence is irrefutable.

Now that we’ve analyzed Merkel’s relationship with the Don (Vito or Michael), let’s discuss that with Fredo. Fredo was the ne’er-do-well brother of Michael and Sonny. As such, he was sent on missions to shore up secondary concerns for “The Family Business”. He went out to Vegas to explore the casino business and down to Florida and Cuba to do business with Hymen Roth. He was given official status by the Corleone family, and if anyone fucked with him they fucked with the Don, but he was a minor player in family operations.  Such is Medvedev.

There aren’t many pictures of Merkel and Fredo together. We can assume that Merkel’s relationship with him is pointless to analyze for alpha cred purposes because her relationship with Putin seems to be on equal footing, and he’s the guy calling the shots. It’s pointless. But just for kicks, here’s one picture.

                                 

Medvedev’s toothy grin indicates either deference to Merkel or that she is funny. We all know the latter isn’t true.

One more.

                                  

Beta!

I’ve shown, through pictorial evidence and video footage, that Berlusconi is top alpha. Putin comes in a close second. Merkel defers to Berlusconi and would probably let him enter her from behind; she has a good relationship with Putin, and is indifferent to Medvedev – after all, he bought her flowers. Both Berlusconi and Putin treat Medvedev like Fredo Corleone. If he turns up dead in a lake, we’ll know what happened.

Now it’s time to turn to our own beta-in-chief. How does he stack up to the other world leaders? As a disclaimer, I voted for Obama. I have hopes that perhaps he’s merely ingratiating himself to his opponents, a la Trojan Horse, in order to make himself seem more submissive and weak than he actually is.   The first year of photographic evidence would support that theory; it would also support the theory that he’s a pansy.

Let me begin by providing some perspective. Being his first year in office, this is Obama’s introductory period to the stage of international affairs. To compare past behavior, let’s look at a proven alpha president, Ronald Reagan.

In his first meeting with Gorbachev, we see command of respect. Reagan offers his hand to Gorbachev as if it should be kissed as if to say “Mr. Gorbachev, suck…on…these…balls.”

                                 

Reagan wasn’t afraid to use strong body language with his opponents. His years as an actor trained him well. We see here a knife-shaped hand aimed directly at Gorbachev. Rather than exhibiting some of the submissive body language that I will show of Obama, Reagan didn’t wasn’t afraid of appearing aggressive.

                                              

Diplomacy doesn’t have to be weak-natured.  One can be diplomatic and push through a political agenda with strong body language and posturing.  Obama’s BBL (beta body language) isn’t a political contrivance; it’s in his nature. 

Let’s start with analysis of Obama and Medvedev’s handshake.

                                  

Palm-up beta handshake? Really? Maybe Obama was trying to give Medvedev some dap; I doubt it though. The palm-up handshake is classic submission. Obama is telegraphing “I bear no arms; I can’t hurt you; see, my hands are empty.”

                                   

This picture of Obama and Medvedev bring back memories of the Cold War. The air is thick with drama. Neither seem to like each other all that much. Medvedev seems to handle this a little better than Obama. Medvedev is stoic and upright. He seems at the ready. As Greg Lewis mentioned in his article above, Obama has a swiveling head and seems to shy away from Medvedev’s presence.  This is a submissive move.

                                  

Obama seems concerned about the handshake, being too aware of it rather than letting it happen naturally. He’s making sure his positioning is correct. He is unsure of himself. A dominant person thrusts his hand out there and lets the other guy worry about the logistics. If Obama preferred to have Medvedev “give him some skin”; he should have asked for it. Fredo, possibly due to some KGB handshake tactics gleaned from Papa Putin, doesn’t seem so concerned. The dominance of Medvedev’s shake stands in stark contrast to Obama’s wavering one.

                                   

This is the kicker; it shows Medvedev’s utter disrespect for Obama. What’s worse, Obama further tries to ingratiate himself to Medvedev by patting him on the shoulder. He even seems to be uttering something to Medvedev, which the puny leader doesn’t seem to be acknowledging. “Bitch look at me when I’m talking to you” should have been Obama’s reply.

                                 

Wait. No, no – this is the kicker. Bowing to Medvedev – with the elbow bent as if the arm is giving way – Obama might as well kiss his ring.

Let’s turn to Obama vis a vis Putin.

                                
At first I wondered how precise this picture analysis would be.  How can we glean proper insight into dominance and submission displays by looking at a picture?  One picture won’t do the trick, but the same pattern exhibited in picture after picture will.  Obama is overly concerned with grooming himself.  He is shown nervously fidgeting with his pant leg.  Putin probably doesn’t even notice he has pants on.  He probably thinks he’s sitting in an Afghani dungeon wearing soiled camo.  Obama gets mired in details; details are for betas (spot the evil egg in that statement). 
Ohhh-Oh Silvio!
 
                                 
Alpha 1 – with utter disregard for the contemptuous Obama – outwardly lusts after Michelle Obama.  He tramples on every decent social grace that international politicians abide by.  He is a loathesome brute, but yet we can’t look away. 
                                   
Again, Obama displays the submissive head-tilt as Berlusconi leans into his space.  If you look closely, you’ll also notice Obama’s hands are tightly intertwined, like two mangled twigs.  Alpha 1 has a confident, direct smirk on his face; he finds Obama amusing. 
 
So here’s the alphaness inequality with respect to dominance displays: Berlusconi > Putin. Putin and Merkel are ambiguous with hints of equal footing. Berlusconi > Merkel. Putin >> Medvedev. Thus Berlusconi >> Medvedev. Medvedev > Obama. Therefore, Berlusconi-Putin-Merkel-Medvedev > Obama.  QED or something.   If we were to take the references to The Godfather further, Silvio = Don (Vito or Michael); Putin = Sonny; Merkel = Tessio or Clemenza (depending on her loyalty); Medvedev = Fredo. What’s worse than Fredo? Rocco Lampone. Obama is Connie’s husband that Sonny beats the shit out of with a trashcan.

I’m not happy to expound on Obama’s betaness. I voted for the guy after all, and I’d rather have a strong leader rather than a weak one. His submission may not be as serious as it would outwardly seem. Less dominant primates often achieve alpha status by grooming and sucking up to other members of their troupe; this is politics in a nutshell. Whether that is Obama’s strategy remains to be seen. But we know each person’s history. Berlusconi and Putin came from alpha-building backgrounds: business and the KGB respectively. Medvedev was a corporate lawyer and a director on Gazprom’s board. Obama – famously – was a community organizer. Community organizer comes in slightly above librarian and accountant on the list of most beta professions.  Obama is submissive by nature. 

 The real issue for me is that our leader comes off looking like a wimp.  Unfortunately, a picture speaks a thousand words; I just produced 21,000 that show Obama’s true nature.

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