Comments on: Friday Night Game http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/ Piercing the Shield of Ignorance Fri, 10 Sep 2010 05:46:52 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: The Bachelor (TV show) – Extreme Alpha or Extreme Beta?? « 3point5vq is a type of engine http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-27013 The Bachelor (TV show) – Extreme Alpha or Extreme Beta?? « 3point5vq is a type of engine Sun, 31 Jan 2010 22:15:44 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-27013 [...] did a post at Spearhead http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/ where you set up two chicks to compete for your [...] [...] did a post at Spearhead http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/ where you set up two chicks to compete for your [...]

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]]> By: Globalman http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-2170 Globalman Wed, 14 Oct 2009 20:02:39 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-2170 "One of the most powerful, yet underused, tactics in a man’s arsenal of seduction is to mindfuck two or more female friends into an ego spiral of oneupsmanship. " Now THAT is a MAN!!! My hat is off to you Sir! “One of the most powerful, yet underused, tactics in a man’s arsenal of seduction is to mindfuck two or more female friends into an ego spiral of oneupsmanship. ”

Now THAT is a MAN!!! My hat is off to you Sir!

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]]> By: Brad http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-868 Brad Thu, 08 Oct 2009 20:54:25 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-868 I've gotta say that's pretty fucking good man. I'll be reading your blog from now on, I was pointed in this direction by roissy's blog. I’ve gotta say that’s pretty fucking good man. I’ll be reading your blog from now on, I was pointed in this direction by roissy’s blog.

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]]> By: Jack http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-743 Jack Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:23:15 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-743 I was clear about what builds confidence - being unapologetically yourself. THAT builds confidence, not "faking it till you make it", and adopting a mindset where you employ strategy and tactics to get a woman to "like you". Quite aside from that fact that doing those things are unmasculine, they don't work. They undermine you. Both of those things are fatal to building the kind of true confidence women will react to - one, "faking it till you make" is quite possibly the worst, absolute worst, advice anyone can give someone. Doing so will doom you to crippling social anxiety as the cognitive dissonance between your behavior and your emotional and mental state becomes paralyzing. Admitting a lack of confidence, staying real, staying connected to reality, will create a feeling of being "centered" and strong, connected to reality, and will gradually cause feelings of confidence to build, based on a foundation of reality. "Faking it" - how many people are really good actors? It's naive to think that it's easy to fake women out, women have evolved to be excellent detectors. Secondly, if you're not responding to internal signals, it is far more likely your attempt to fake confidence will lead to embarrassing excesses which underline the reality that you are putting on an act - having checked out roissy's website, I would say that this pitfall is one game aficionados find particularly hard to avoid. All of us have internal limits to how much confidence we have - not all of us are living up to our potential, and it can be hugely liberating to free ourselves from artificial restraints to our natural confidence, but this isn't accomplished by faking, but by stopping to pretend (this is where SOME tenets of game are helpful). If you think "pretending" to be confident will fool a single woman, you are riding for a huge fall. Better try to realize the full potential of whatever confidence nature has blessed you with by getting in touch with reality then putting on an act that fools no one. It isn't given to everyone to be an Alpha no matter how hard they try, and no one can fake it, but most of us are not living up to our potential in the realm of confidence. Secondly, cultivating a mindset where you must employ all sorts of strategies and subtle tactics to make someone like you is also fatal to true confidence. The kind of mindset we adopt when we approach women, or any social interaction, has dramatic implications for our emotional state during that interaction, what kind of energy and emotional posture we bring to it. If you do what the author of this post suggest, you will be fatally undermining your ability to put yourself in a headspace of indifference and making no apologies for yourself. The "premises" we adopt influence or conduct in far reaching ways - you think it is your job to get a woman to "like you" by using tactics, you accept that as a premise, then your entire behavior towards her will reflect that, it's impossible not to. You won't be confident or authentic for one moment, your emotional state will "leek out", and you will find it hard to do the kinds of things that reflect real indifference and confidence. I'm not saying that you shouldn't necessarily adopt specific behaviors and mindsets that will help you get women - refusing to apologize for who you really are IS a mindset that you must cultivate to get women. Scorning to obsess over strategy IS an attitude that one must cultivate to get women. The problem most of us have is NOT listening to our inner signals - we may WANT to be assertive to women, but are afraid to do so. The author of this post merely peddles an extremely misguided approach that will condemn it's followers to dig themselves deeper and deeper into the holes they find themselves in. I was clear about what builds confidence – being unapologetically yourself. THAT builds confidence, not “faking it till you make it”, and adopting a mindset where you employ strategy and tactics to get a woman to “like you”. Quite aside from that fact that doing those things are unmasculine, they don’t work. They undermine you.

Both of those things are fatal to building the kind of true confidence women will react to – one, “faking it till you make” is quite possibly the worst, absolute worst, advice anyone can give someone. Doing so will doom you to crippling social anxiety as the cognitive dissonance between your behavior and your emotional and mental state becomes paralyzing. Admitting a lack of confidence, staying real, staying connected to reality, will create a feeling of being “centered” and strong, connected to reality, and will gradually cause feelings of confidence to build, based on a foundation of reality.

“Faking it” – how many people are really good actors? It’s naive to think that it’s easy to fake women out, women have evolved to be excellent detectors. Secondly, if you’re not responding to internal signals, it is far more likely your attempt to fake confidence will lead to embarrassing excesses which underline the reality that you are putting on an act – having checked out roissy’s website, I would say that this pitfall is one game aficionados find particularly hard to avoid.

All of us have internal limits to how much confidence we have – not all of us are living up to our potential, and it can be hugely liberating to free ourselves from artificial restraints to our natural confidence, but this isn’t accomplished by faking, but by stopping to pretend (this is where SOME tenets of game are helpful). If you think “pretending” to be confident will fool a single woman, you are riding for a huge fall. Better try to realize the full potential of whatever confidence nature has blessed you with by getting in touch with reality then putting on an act that fools no one. It isn’t given to everyone to be an Alpha no matter how hard they try, and no one can fake it, but most of us are not living up to our potential in the realm of confidence.

Secondly, cultivating a mindset where you must employ all sorts of strategies and subtle tactics to make someone like you is also fatal to true confidence. The kind of mindset we adopt when we approach women, or any social interaction, has dramatic implications for our emotional state during that interaction, what kind of energy and emotional posture we bring to it. If you do what the author of this post suggest, you will be fatally undermining your ability to put yourself in a headspace of indifference and making no apologies for yourself.

The “premises” we adopt influence or conduct in far reaching ways – you think it is your job to get a woman to “like you” by using tactics, you accept that as a premise, then your entire behavior towards her will reflect that, it’s impossible not to. You won’t be confident or authentic for one moment, your emotional state will “leek out”, and you will find it hard to do the kinds of things that reflect real indifference and confidence.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t necessarily adopt specific behaviors and mindsets that will help you get women – refusing to apologize for who you really are IS a mindset that you must cultivate to get women. Scorning to obsess over strategy IS an attitude that one must cultivate to get women. The problem most of us have is NOT listening to our inner signals – we may WANT to be assertive to women, but are afraid to do so.

The author of this post merely peddles an extremely misguided approach that will condemn it’s followers to dig themselves deeper and deeper into the holes they find themselves in.

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]]> By: Stone http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-539 Stone Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:06:33 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-539 Good tips; however, in most Friday night game locations it is hard enough to communicate with one girl audibly, let alone with a group. These are usually bars, clubs, disco's, etc. where you have to shout to be heard and it is OK to shout to one girl, but addressing a whole group while shouting, saliva flying around and all, is pretty hard. I usually try to isolate. Good tips; however, in most Friday night game locations it is hard enough to communicate with one girl audibly, let alone with a group.
These are usually bars, clubs, disco’s, etc. where you have to shout to be heard and it is OK to shout to one girl, but addressing a whole group while shouting, saliva flying around and all, is pretty hard.
I usually try to isolate.

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]]> By: Someone http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-516 Someone Mon, 05 Oct 2009 01:16:11 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-516 "I agree that real alphas don’t worry about it, I consider myself a true alpha, I use my boyish good looks and pure MAN to get ladies. " A true alpha would have left out the words "boyish good looks and". I learned a little game and accompanying attitude from the web. I started opening (initiated conversations with) women, even women who appeared aloof. I discovered most women like a man who takes the initiative as long as he dosn't go into hyperdrive nerviousness. They are pleasurably surprised, in most cases. Some sort of internal paridigm shift occured for me after that and it is as if I was touched with a charisma wand. I never thought of myself as good looking, super in shape, fashon capable, etc. I was having these almost perplexingly positive reactions from women. This is not LJBF (I mean women who wanted to be my friend and complain about their husband to me), I avoided one woman at the gym after I saw her dropping off two little kids before starting her workout. Still she walks over my legs when I am streching and is sending signals. Maybe she is unusual and looking for some daytime action but I mean these relationships are not polite responses to statements about the weather , the women are interested. So the looks are not relevant to alpha. Alan Greenspan, David Letterman. “I agree that real alphas don’t worry about it, I consider myself a true alpha, I use my boyish good looks and pure MAN to get ladies. ”

A true alpha would have left out the words “boyish good looks and”. I learned a little game and accompanying attitude from the web. I started opening (initiated conversations with) women, even women who appeared aloof. I discovered most women like a man who takes the initiative as long as he dosn’t go into hyperdrive nerviousness. They are pleasurably surprised, in most cases. Some sort of internal paridigm shift occured for me after that and it is as if I was touched with a charisma wand. I never thought of myself as good looking, super in shape, fashon capable, etc. I was having these almost perplexingly positive reactions from women. This is not LJBF (I mean women who wanted to be my friend and complain about their husband to me), I avoided one woman at the gym after I saw her dropping off two little kids before starting her workout. Still she walks over my legs when I am streching and is sending signals. Maybe she is unusual and looking for some daytime action but I mean these relationships are not polite responses to statements about the weather , the women are interested.

So the looks are not relevant to alpha. Alan Greenspan, David Letterman.

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]]> By: Wilbur Simonson http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-502 Wilbur Simonson Sun, 04 Oct 2009 18:56:02 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-502 The problem with Jack's advice is that it merely states a result: confidence; but, it does not state techniques for achieving that result. In contrast, Roissy and his ilk offer techniques that men can use to increase their success with women. Whether or not the Roissy techniques are as effective as the Jack confidence is irrelevant to the men who are not naturally confident with women. I assert that men who employ the Roissy techniques will increase their success with women, and this success will cause them to become more confident. @Rick: The Authentic Man Program (AMP) uses exercises of the type often done in acting classes. But, I wouldn't characterize it as emulating a role. Instead, it teaches men to act naturally and authentically. On the plus side, it's the closest thing I've seen to actually teaching charisma. On the negative side, I think it's very hard to learn it by watching a DVD. You really need to do the exercises with an instructor and get personal feedback. The problem with Jack’s advice is that it merely states a result: confidence; but, it does not state techniques for achieving that result. In contrast, Roissy and his ilk offer techniques that men can use to increase their success with women. Whether or not the Roissy techniques are as effective as the Jack confidence is irrelevant to the men who are not naturally confident with women. I assert that men who employ the Roissy techniques will increase their success with women, and this success will cause them to become more confident.

@Rick: The Authentic Man Program (AMP) uses exercises of the type often done in acting classes. But, I wouldn’t characterize it as emulating a role. Instead, it teaches men to act naturally and authentically. On the plus side, it’s the closest thing I’ve seen to actually teaching charisma. On the negative side, I think it’s very hard to learn it by watching a DVD. You really need to do the exercises with an instructor and get personal feedback.

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]]> By: Adam http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-493 Adam Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:31:06 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-493 I don't game per say, I do what works and then read stuff about it on these blogs. This does work Jack, no reason to go on a rant trying to disprove this, competition is hardwired and even if it doesn't end up working out in the long run, watching girls compete for you're hard earned attention is bound to be exciting. I agree that real alphas don't worry about it, I consider myself a true alpha, I use my boyish good looks and pure MAN to get ladies. No need to get tips from a website, keep up the good work though, this is all good stuff! I don’t game per say, I do what works and then read stuff about it on these blogs. This does work Jack, no reason to go on a rant trying to disprove this, competition is hardwired and even if it doesn’t end up working out in the long run, watching girls compete for you’re hard earned attention is bound to be exciting.

I agree that real alphas don’t worry about it, I consider myself a true alpha, I use my boyish good looks and pure MAN to get ladies. No need to get tips from a website, keep up the good work though, this is all good stuff!

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]]> By: Aussie http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-487 Aussie Sun, 04 Oct 2009 16:39:48 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-487 I find it difficult to believe anyone takes game this seriously. The whole persona you're trying to impose is someone whose having a good time and doesnt worry about the outcome of any situation. Constantly stressing over mundane details, playing it like an in-depth strategy game is counter-productive and stops you from enjoying yourself. You can still consciously tease girls and pit them up against each other without planning it out incessantly and obsessing over your successes in a blog. PUAs put more effort into getting women to like them than most betas. Real alphas just dont worry about it. I find it difficult to believe anyone takes game this seriously. The whole persona you’re trying to impose is someone whose having a good time and doesnt worry about the outcome of any situation. Constantly stressing over mundane details, playing it like an in-depth strategy game is counter-productive and stops you from enjoying yourself. You can still consciously tease girls and pit them up against each other without planning it out incessantly and obsessing over your successes in a blog.

PUAs put more effort into getting women to like them than most betas. Real alphas just dont worry about it.

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]]> By: K http://www.the-spearhead.com/2009/10/02/friday-night-game/#comment-473 K Sun, 04 Oct 2009 05:15:06 +0000 http://www.the-spearhead.com/?p=507#comment-473 Jack's point is superfluous here. No one is advocating being inauthentic or try-hard, although that is how Jack is trying to present it. If we were in a club Jack would be AMOGing. 'Just be confident' is such facile advice. A core tenet of Game is being self-possessed. Do not become invested in the outcome of an interaction; expect success. Saying 'just be confident' isn't adding anything of substance. Of course you have to be fucking confident. As far as the actual tools of Game go; maybe some of them are magic feathers, but so what? Someone who has no basis to be confident isn't going to flip a switch in their brain and turn into a pimp. Give them some tips and anecdotes about what works for others to invest some confidence in. As for other tools, they are definitely based in human psychology and physiology. If literally all it takes is to be 'confident'; then here is the challenge. Go to a bar, and get two women to be attracted to you, qualify themselves to you, and 'close' one of them. You can't approach them; or speak any words in a language they can understand. Just be confident. It should work right? Of course not, because despite what some keyboard jockey is going to come on here and tell you; what you say does actually matter sometimes. It's true a huge part of Game is how you carry yourself, body language, vocal tonality and generally being comfortable in your own skin. However, fake it 'til you make it baby; and use whatever tools are at your disposal to build your self-confidence. Also what was written about bullies was total bullshit. Men obviously are disgusted by them. Women hate bullies, just like they hate jerks. Jack’s point is superfluous here. No one is advocating being inauthentic or try-hard, although that is how Jack is trying to present it. If we were in a club Jack would be AMOGing. ‘Just be confident’ is such facile advice.

A core tenet of Game is being self-possessed. Do not become invested in the outcome of an interaction; expect success. Saying ‘just be confident’ isn’t adding anything of substance. Of course you have to be fucking confident.

As far as the actual tools of Game go; maybe some of them are magic feathers, but so what? Someone who has no basis to be confident isn’t going to flip a switch in their brain and turn into a pimp. Give them some tips and anecdotes about what works for others to invest some confidence in.

As for other tools, they are definitely based in human psychology and physiology. If literally all it takes is to be ‘confident’; then here is the challenge. Go to a bar, and get two women to be attracted to you, qualify themselves to you, and ‘close’ one of them. You can’t approach them; or speak any words in a language they can understand. Just be confident. It should work right?

Of course not, because despite what some keyboard jockey is going to come on here and tell you; what you say does actually matter sometimes.

It’s true a huge part of Game is how you carry yourself, body language, vocal tonality and generally being comfortable in your own skin. However, fake it ’til you make it baby; and use whatever tools are at your disposal to build your self-confidence.

Also what was written about bullies was total bullshit. Men obviously are disgusted by them. Women hate bullies, just like they hate jerks.

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