Let’s You And Her Fight
One of the most powerful, yet underused, tactics in a man’s arsenal of seduction is to mindfuck two or more female friends into an ego spiral of oneupsmanship. Never underestimate women’s natural instinct to outcompete other women in the sexual market for a desired man’s attention. A woman is not a demure, empty vessel seated in dainty repose to watch languidly while men duke it out for the honor of her hand. Women compete as viciously with other women as men compete with other men, though women do so with more plausible deniability. Knowing this fact of female nature, a man can raise his perceived value by purposely fomenting rivalry between women.
Straight out of college I used to hang out a lot with a natural. “Geno” had been good with women his whole life. If he weren’t a workaholic, he could have easily racked up a mid triple digit partner count by his late 20s. I learned more from observing his interactions with women than I did from reading a hundred books about female psychology. One of Geno’s greatest gifts to women was his uncanny ability to get them feverishly competing for his attention. How did he do this?
For starters, Geno knew how to command a social circle. He was a salesman by occupation, and his sales skills helped him intuitively understand the emotional needs of a captive audience. He never let any one person in the group monopolize his attention, though they often tried; he was adept at including people in the ebb and flow of conversation. This strategy of inclusiveness — of addressing the whole group — would lay the groundwork for playing one girl off another girl. I remember some of the things he would say to two or more girls:
If one of the girls made a decent joke, Geno would say to his target (the hotter girl): “Your friend is winning me over. You better step it up.”
He would often critically appraise a woman’s clothing in relation to what one of her friends was wearing: “AWESOME scarf!” [Hint of sarcastic emphasis on "awesome"] Turning to the girl he found most attractive: “Where’s your scarf?”
If his target danced sexily: “WOW, I’ve never seen a girl dance like that!” Turning to face her friend: “Except her.”
If two girls were gabbing simultaneously at him: “One of you is definitely making more sense.”
When one of the girls would flirt with him: “Hey!”, Geno would look over at the other girl, “Your friend knows all the moves.”
When the flirting escalated to the point of touching: “I’ve got bad news. Your friend already gave me a shoulder rub. She’s in the lead.”
If one girl was talking to another guy in the group: “Hey man, watch out for her. She likes to make her girlfriends jealous.”
Geno addressing the group: “Who’s the Mama Hen? Who’s the jealous step sister?”
Geno, addressing his target when she was alone: “I saw your friend flirting with the bartender upstairs. He looks like he’s in love!”
And la bomba del juego: “OK, so which one of you two is the dirty whore and which one is the prude?” You’ll note that there is no correct answer to this question.
There are direct ways for a man to raise his value (e.g. storytelling, magic tricks, negs, good style) and there are indirect ways (social proof, “Let’s you and her fight”). The indirect ways require more skill to wield without tooling yourself, but the payoff in pussy yield is greater.
Subscribe to The Spearhead Newsletter for a free copy of the Book of Zed
{ 33 comments… read them below or add one }
Can’t beat that photo for the headline.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Just make sure that she has a thick, rich, luxuriant bush, overflowing with magnificent concentrated aromas and flavors.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Interesting. A common passive aggressive action retooled and used for pick up.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I noticed this is going to be a weekly series. Friday Night Game that is. I like the concept.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
If you can tap into this: I can say this is hugely effective. I had a friend who, I suppose, would fit ‘slut’ archetype and I’d fit ‘prude’. I think we were mutually exasperated with each other’s attitudes. We’d basically compete for attention in any situation based on almost the principle of the differences (all very clear to me in retrospect). We competed over one male neither of us would’ve ordinarily been really seriously interested in then it spilled over, becoming a huge factor in my attraction to the ex. (My thought processes: “How dare he have the gall to be openly attracted to that sl** when he’s MY originally oneitis guy? I’ll show them!!”) She then tried to steal him away via her sexual powers despite being disinterested previously.
Lesson 1: Choose your friends carefully.
Lesson 2: The more a woman’s honest about her nature, the easiest it is to find ways to work with it. It is in a woman’s interest to know her nature truthfully.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Peter,
If Welmer gave you the opportunity to write a treatise about the virtues of the “Glorious Natural Pelt” would that get it out of your system?
Maybe a three part series so you could give special attention, not only to the bush itself, but also its flavors and aromas.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Excellent article. I have used similar techniques before with enormous success.
…And that Peter weirdo has some deep-rooted issues he needs to sort out.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Pretty much all of the success I’ve had with women – I’ve come to realize – is a function of this type of Game.
Your post makes me think (I had completely overlooked the simplicity of it) that this has to be the most efficient type of Game out there. It’s easy to implement, it diversifies the portfolio (especially if you don’t let on which girl is the actual target), and it flat out works.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I truly hope that the ‘Peter’ sicko does not pollute The Spearhead with his barely contained bestial fetishes… it would drag down the quality really quickly.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Roissyism and PUAism is so damn superficial, predatory, and an unfit philosophy upon which to base a decent/civilized society. If everyone tried to live according to Roissy and his ilk, we’d all regress back to barbaric tribes of ape-like early humans fighting over old scraps of meat and raping unsuspecting women on the African savannahs.
Roissy is a good writer overall, but his ideas and the PUA scene in general are actually a major social regression rather than an evolutionary step forward.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I can’t think of a more empty and unfulfilling way to spend one’s life.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It probably wouldn’t ever occur to a significant number of the female population around for guys to use game on, but what happens when one of them realizes what’s going on and manages to get her friend(s) on board the clue train with them heading out away from a guy who is attempting to employ such a tactic?
And while it may be rare, some women may actually surprise the hell out of you when they won’t engage in silly competitions so if the friend wants the guy she can have him & the woman will find someone else who doesn’t seem to play game that way.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“but what happens when one of them realizes what’s going on and manages to get her friend(s) on board the clue train with them heading out away from a guy who is attempting to employ such a tactic?”
That won’t happen. Women are pre-programmed to engage in this behavior, I would say that most of it probably even occurs on the subconscious level. It is a very subtle technique in practice, and when this technique is used well it is almost imperceptible that it is occurring at all. I know this from firsthand experience, I am a master of this technique.
The key to using it successfully is to:
1. Easily outshine any male within viewing distance of all females present so you don’t have to waste time proving your value.
2. Get all the females around you very comfortable,tell jokes, play music, be entertaining so that you are constantly the center of everyone’s attention. If you can keep them staring at you in adulation for at least 10 minutes,you’ve got them for the rest of the night. Two women,three,four, it doesn’t make any difference, in fact, the more the merrier in this case.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I truly hope that the ‘Peter’ sicko does not pollute The Spearhead with his barely contained bestial fetishes… it would drag down the quality really quickly.
Better the Glorious Natural Pelt than the Hideous Pedophilic Bald Eagle.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
high five Eman!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Better the Glorious Natural Pelt than the Hideous Pedophilic Bald Eagle.”
Spoken like a true pedophile. Sort of like a priest raging against the sins of homosexuality while some dude sucks him off beneath the pulpit.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Way too much effort. Just be direct, unafraid, straightforward, and authentic and you’ll get more women than you could wish. No need to strategize incessantly and obsessive over every detail of your interactions with women. This isn’t theater or drama class, this is picking up chics, where being confident and manly will get you results, not having a brain like Machiavelli.
Women like men who are unapologetic and unafraid – that kind of directness just oozes masculinity, and you’ll feel better about yourself too. All this subtle, indirect, strategizing might appeal to guys who are socially timid and lack masculinity – who are a bit nerdy – but it not isn’t particularly effective and will sap your ability to exude the kind of straightforward, confident masculinity that women love.
That’s the problem with lots of guys who can’t get women, and without sounding harsh I suspect the writer of this post falls into that category or at least did at one point in his lives, is that they think some magic “strategy” will make up for not having the kind of inner manliness that chics dig. There is no need for all this nonsense – just be direct, just be straightforward, just be unafraid and unapologetic. Forget about the ridiculous lines (and my God, magic tricks? Is this for real?), forget about the obsessive strategizing where your every move is calculated and you’re terrified of being direct and authentic, and stop giving so much of a shit.
This basic mindset of caring so much about women and how they perceive you as to develop these subtle and over-detailed strategies will seriously cut into your ability to project the kind of unabashed masculinity that chics love. Believe me, thinking in this way will have a real impact on your demeanor and bearing, and girls will pick up on the fact that you are afraid to be authentic and are trying hard to present yourself to them in a certain light. Not good. And besides, how manly is it to play these silly games? Any man with confidence would scorn to, and wouldn’t really need to.
The day I got good with women – and I mean good – was when I explicitly rejected the very idea of “seduction”, of seducing a woman, of strategizing, of trying to “get her to like me”. I realized that paradoxically, the very idea of trying to get a girl to like me is the surest way to get her to not like me. By being unapologetically authentic, I tapped into my inner confidence and masculinity, and before I knew it, to my surprise, I was swimming in poon.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“All this subtle, indirect, strategizing might appeal to guys who are socially timid and lack masculinity – who are a bit nerdy – but it not isn’t particularly effective and will sap your ability to exude the kind of straightforward, confident masculinity that women love.”
It isn’t straightforwardness or confidence that attracts women,though. It’s arrogance and belligerence, which are essentially the traits that you are describing.
These traits can be adopted-very easily, I might add- by those who lack them, and women will never know the difference.
Just as an actor can weep on screen over a lost child or soul-destroying event (that never happened) and cause members of the audience to weep along with him, so too can a man pretend to be arrogant, self-centered, belligerent and conceited and have women creaming their panties in response.
“And besides, how manly is it to play these silly games? Any man with confidence would scorn to, and wouldn’t really need to.”
Men who naturally possess the kind of “confidence” that attracts women often end up on death row for believing that Satan ordered them to commit multiple rape/murders- however, they definitely get a lot of marriage proposals and offers of sex while they’re there.
As far as playing games goes, I agree it’s not a man’s way of doing things, which often takes a more direct route.
However, when women are making the rules, the rules are often tailored to suit a woman’s way of doing things-manipulation, subterfuge, and deceit.
Since the entire dating game is played by women’s rules,I condone and encourage men using any and all loopholes in order to advantage themselves because they are playing an extremely high stakes game that has been rigged against them.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I can see how this would work very well. In fact thinking back I have used this, but really only by playing with and exaggerating a rivalry that had naturally surfaced, rather than setting out consciously to provoke one in the first place.
You do have to already be in a strong position though with already demoed high attractiveness to a couple or group of girls to make this work without a high risk to flaming out I think. Unless of course you’re great and really flexible with it. Not for openers. For building and expanding.
Bhetti — did ex #2 play with and consciously exacerbate your rivalry with sl__ girl over him, or was he always trying to deny or downplay attraction he was feeling for her, or smooth everything over all the time?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I completely disagree – it IS confidence that women want, and not arrogance and belligerence. Arrogance and belligerence is typically an overcompensation for lack of confidence, and only guys who don’t know what real confidence looks like think it involves arrogance and belligerence – in short, being “macho”.
And women have never liked “macho” – they consider it immature and a strong indicator of lack of true confidence, because being “macho” (arrogant and belligerent in inappropriate ways) is always an attempt by someone who doesn’t HAVE confidence to PROJECT that quality he doesn’t have, and erring on the side of excess.
And while yes, any guy can be arrogant and belligerence (to some extent at least) his lack of true inner confidence will shine through loud and clear and be easily picked up by women, who certainly won’t be aroused.
Think about it, the last time you saw someone be over-loud, over-aggressive, and generally try too hard to display his “manliness”, did you think, wow, now there’s a confident guy! Or did you think, wow, what a loser! Can’t that guy see that everyone sees he’s trying too hard and faking it? No, true confidence is always calm, uninterested in impressing others, and is unmistakeable.
And no, most men CANNOT fake true confidence – their attempts come off as inappropriate aggressiveness and belligerence, in short, as being Macho.
Guys who think confidence means “macho” end up in prison and death row, that is certainly true, where they get sexual come ons from SOME women – a tiny sub-set of disturbed, sub-prime women – whose natural feminine desire for a confident, assertive male has undergone a kind of deformation, or who think their own limited charms as woman can at best only get them the lowest kind of “confident” male out there, but these women are a tiny sub-set of women as a whole and most certainly not representative. Most women – and especially the high caliber ones – are certainly not salivating over death row inmates, you can be sure of that. High quality women can get authentically confident men, not the ersatz, try-hard, fake kind.
How do you figure women “make the rules”? That sounds like envy or frustration talking. In reality, guys have almost all the power – we get to choose who we approach and who we completely ignore and leave in the shadows, and we get to increase our sexual value by learning authentic confidence (something women can’t do).
Sure, women can accept or reject a man, but their responses can be “overcome” through persistence and further demonstrations of a mans worth, and the power of rejecting or accepting is far more passive than the mans power of choosing. So this whole “women have all the power” is not only objectively bogus, but is a way of thinking characteristic of the frustrated male used to failure and reflects envy and fear of women rather than confidence.
But that wasn’t really my point – if “playing games” really DID get you women, I would be all for it. Of course, people should do what works and what gets them women. The fact is, though, that getting into a mindset of “playing games” does serious damage to the psychological state of mind you want to cultivate in getting women – that is, directness, indifference, and uncomplicated, unabashed assertiveness and strength. “Playing games” gets in the way of all that and will HARM your chances of projecting the right attitude that chics dig.
Women are manipulative and play games because they have no CHOICE – that is the fallback strategy of the weaker party, and further, because that does not reduce their appeal to women. But adopting female tactics yourself – i.e, a female persona and way of thinking – WILL reduce your appeal to women.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Having read Roissy’s website for years, I think Jack makes some refreshing points. At least for me, constantly analyzing my approaches with women seems fake, unstable, and simply doesn’t work. I think Roissy gives some fantastic insights on the female brain and inequalities in society (and Jack, I disagree that the market favors all men), but I do best when I try to be myself while incorporating SOME negs, qualification, DHVs. As Yogi Berra said, “you can’t hit and think at the same time.”
PS: Does anyone know of game that directly uses techniques from acting or method acting? That is, literally bringing up certain emotions in yourself to emulate a role?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I think Roissy’s wider point that women compete for men, as well as vice-versa, is something that doesn’t get enough scrutiny. It’s ridiculous to assume that they don’t. The competition between the sexes for the attention of the other has to be balanced, otherwise we would have all disappeared long ago.
One thing that stands out is how very desperate American men seem to be for a woman’s favor, compared to other cultures (and they were well-known for it during WWII).It’s like that of the infamous gigolos that hound tourists in the southern Mediterranean. As far as I know, ‘Game’ is a distinctly American phenomenon – I don’t know of any other country where the pursuit of sex has been elevated to such a level.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Bob said “It isn’t straightforwardness or confidence that attracts women, though. It’s arrogance and belligerence, which are essentially the traits that you are describing.”
I’m in full agreement with Jack. I think some men read Game theory and want to follow it by the letter – it comes off very disingenuous when it happens that way. I believe once the cognitive shift happens like Jack made you become naturally attractive.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jack’s post is absolutely excellent.
I love this part especially, very true:
“Think about it, the last time you saw someone be over-loud, over-aggressive, and generally try too hard to display his “manlinessâ€, did you think, wow, now there’s a confident guy! Or did you think, wow, what a loser! Can’t that guy see that everyone sees he’s trying too hard and faking it? No, true confidence is always calm, uninterested in impressing others, and is unmistakeable.”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jack’s point is superfluous here. No one is advocating being inauthentic or try-hard, although that is how Jack is trying to present it. If we were in a club Jack would be AMOGing. ‘Just be confident’ is such facile advice.
A core tenet of Game is being self-possessed. Do not become invested in the outcome of an interaction; expect success. Saying ‘just be confident’ isn’t adding anything of substance. Of course you have to be fucking confident.
As far as the actual tools of Game go; maybe some of them are magic feathers, but so what? Someone who has no basis to be confident isn’t going to flip a switch in their brain and turn into a pimp. Give them some tips and anecdotes about what works for others to invest some confidence in.
As for other tools, they are definitely based in human psychology and physiology. If literally all it takes is to be ‘confident’; then here is the challenge. Go to a bar, and get two women to be attracted to you, qualify themselves to you, and ‘close’ one of them. You can’t approach them; or speak any words in a language they can understand. Just be confident. It should work right?
Of course not, because despite what some keyboard jockey is going to come on here and tell you; what you say does actually matter sometimes.
It’s true a huge part of Game is how you carry yourself, body language, vocal tonality and generally being comfortable in your own skin. However, fake it ’til you make it baby; and use whatever tools are at your disposal to build your self-confidence.
Also what was written about bullies was total bullshit. Men obviously are disgusted by them. Women hate bullies, just like they hate jerks.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I find it difficult to believe anyone takes game this seriously. The whole persona you’re trying to impose is someone whose having a good time and doesnt worry about the outcome of any situation. Constantly stressing over mundane details, playing it like an in-depth strategy game is counter-productive and stops you from enjoying yourself. You can still consciously tease girls and pit them up against each other without planning it out incessantly and obsessing over your successes in a blog.
PUAs put more effort into getting women to like them than most betas. Real alphas just dont worry about it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I don’t game per say, I do what works and then read stuff about it on these blogs. This does work Jack, no reason to go on a rant trying to disprove this, competition is hardwired and even if it doesn’t end up working out in the long run, watching girls compete for you’re hard earned attention is bound to be exciting.
I agree that real alphas don’t worry about it, I consider myself a true alpha, I use my boyish good looks and pure MAN to get ladies. No need to get tips from a website, keep up the good work though, this is all good stuff!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The problem with Jack’s advice is that it merely states a result: confidence; but, it does not state techniques for achieving that result. In contrast, Roissy and his ilk offer techniques that men can use to increase their success with women. Whether or not the Roissy techniques are as effective as the Jack confidence is irrelevant to the men who are not naturally confident with women. I assert that men who employ the Roissy techniques will increase their success with women, and this success will cause them to become more confident.
@Rick: The Authentic Man Program (AMP) uses exercises of the type often done in acting classes. But, I wouldn’t characterize it as emulating a role. Instead, it teaches men to act naturally and authentically. On the plus side, it’s the closest thing I’ve seen to actually teaching charisma. On the negative side, I think it’s very hard to learn it by watching a DVD. You really need to do the exercises with an instructor and get personal feedback.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“I agree that real alphas don’t worry about it, I consider myself a true alpha, I use my boyish good looks and pure MAN to get ladies. ”
A true alpha would have left out the words “boyish good looks and”. I learned a little game and accompanying attitude from the web. I started opening (initiated conversations with) women, even women who appeared aloof. I discovered most women like a man who takes the initiative as long as he dosn’t go into hyperdrive nerviousness. They are pleasurably surprised, in most cases. Some sort of internal paridigm shift occured for me after that and it is as if I was touched with a charisma wand. I never thought of myself as good looking, super in shape, fashon capable, etc. I was having these almost perplexingly positive reactions from women. This is not LJBF (I mean women who wanted to be my friend and complain about their husband to me), I avoided one woman at the gym after I saw her dropping off two little kids before starting her workout. Still she walks over my legs when I am streching and is sending signals. Maybe she is unusual and looking for some daytime action but I mean these relationships are not polite responses to statements about the weather , the women are interested.
So the looks are not relevant to alpha. Alan Greenspan, David Letterman.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Good tips; however, in most Friday night game locations it is hard enough to communicate with one girl audibly, let alone with a group.
These are usually bars, clubs, disco’s, etc. where you have to shout to be heard and it is OK to shout to one girl, but addressing a whole group while shouting, saliva flying around and all, is pretty hard.
I usually try to isolate.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I was clear about what builds confidence – being unapologetically yourself. THAT builds confidence, not “faking it till you make it”, and adopting a mindset where you employ strategy and tactics to get a woman to “like you”. Quite aside from that fact that doing those things are unmasculine, they don’t work. They undermine you.
Both of those things are fatal to building the kind of true confidence women will react to – one, “faking it till you make” is quite possibly the worst, absolute worst, advice anyone can give someone. Doing so will doom you to crippling social anxiety as the cognitive dissonance between your behavior and your emotional and mental state becomes paralyzing. Admitting a lack of confidence, staying real, staying connected to reality, will create a feeling of being “centered” and strong, connected to reality, and will gradually cause feelings of confidence to build, based on a foundation of reality.
“Faking it” – how many people are really good actors? It’s naive to think that it’s easy to fake women out, women have evolved to be excellent detectors. Secondly, if you’re not responding to internal signals, it is far more likely your attempt to fake confidence will lead to embarrassing excesses which underline the reality that you are putting on an act – having checked out roissy’s website, I would say that this pitfall is one game aficionados find particularly hard to avoid.
All of us have internal limits to how much confidence we have – not all of us are living up to our potential, and it can be hugely liberating to free ourselves from artificial restraints to our natural confidence, but this isn’t accomplished by faking, but by stopping to pretend (this is where SOME tenets of game are helpful). If you think “pretending” to be confident will fool a single woman, you are riding for a huge fall. Better try to realize the full potential of whatever confidence nature has blessed you with by getting in touch with reality then putting on an act that fools no one. It isn’t given to everyone to be an Alpha no matter how hard they try, and no one can fake it, but most of us are not living up to our potential in the realm of confidence.
Secondly, cultivating a mindset where you must employ all sorts of strategies and subtle tactics to make someone like you is also fatal to true confidence. The kind of mindset we adopt when we approach women, or any social interaction, has dramatic implications for our emotional state during that interaction, what kind of energy and emotional posture we bring to it. If you do what the author of this post suggest, you will be fatally undermining your ability to put yourself in a headspace of indifference and making no apologies for yourself.
The “premises” we adopt influence or conduct in far reaching ways – you think it is your job to get a woman to “like you” by using tactics, you accept that as a premise, then your entire behavior towards her will reflect that, it’s impossible not to. You won’t be confident or authentic for one moment, your emotional state will “leek out”, and you will find it hard to do the kinds of things that reflect real indifference and confidence.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t necessarily adopt specific behaviors and mindsets that will help you get women – refusing to apologize for who you really are IS a mindset that you must cultivate to get women. Scorning to obsess over strategy IS an attitude that one must cultivate to get women. The problem most of us have is NOT listening to our inner signals – we may WANT to be assertive to women, but are afraid to do so.
The author of this post merely peddles an extremely misguided approach that will condemn it’s followers to dig themselves deeper and deeper into the holes they find themselves in.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I’ve gotta say that’s pretty fucking good man. I’ll be reading your blog from now on, I was pointed in this direction by roissy’s blog.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“One of the most powerful, yet underused, tactics in a man’s arsenal of seduction is to mindfuck two or more female friends into an ego spiral of oneupsmanship. ”
Now THAT is a MAN!!! My hat is off to you Sir!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
{ 2 trackbacks }